Dealing with anti-VBAC Obs.....

Ive been having a little trouble with my BP... but not much to jump up and down about.

Anyway, My doc suggested I have a check with the hospital to see what they wanted to do about my BP (P.E Last pregnancy).

So off I went, yesterday.. Seen one of the hospital obstetricians. Young guy, perfect hair.. didnt look like he had worked a day is his life. Anyway.... he checks my BP, tummy etc (as they do) and as I go to get off the bed he says "So what are your plans for birthing this baby?". I replied "Im having a VBAC". Then it begun..... He doesnt reccomend it because the risks are so high. Told me all the statistics.. (which im sure were wrong anyway). Told me all about the ruptures, hystorectomys, bleeding... so on so forth. Then preceeded to tell me that also because I am of advanced age (Im 23) that bodies arnt as effecient as someone who is 18 and that people should start having babies at 16....... :S He said my chance is higher in having a c/section because im not as young as I once was (lol).. I told him I was only 20 when I had DD and still ended up with a c/section.. he had no answer to that.

He said more but I stared at the roof most of the time and it didnt even register with me.

I have to admit I was unprepared as this is the first OB I have seen.. (this is one of the reasons why). But I did tell him that he cant predict the future and everything he said to me wasnt stuff I was hearing the first time and Im not stupid, I have made the right decision for myself and my baby. Also said to him that I am at no higher risk than any other lady coming in and giving birth vaginally. Apart from rupture (which is so uncommon) has the same risks as I do. He agreed.. (then what the hell is the point of this conversation?!?!)

He then sees I had a growth scan last week due to the high blood pressure. Ohhhhh he says..... the baby is already 3kg. Then proceeds to tell me this is another reasons why a VBAC is risky.. I procceed to remind him that he has no idea what he is talking about and clearly if any issues arrive in labour then its not rocket science that I would have a c/section but he doesnt need to deny me my given right to be able to birth my baby vaginally.

He tried so hard to "find" something wrong with me. Checking my legs for swelling even after I told him they were fine.

You have no idea.... this guy was unbelievable. He would have cut me open yesterday if I let him. he was such a douche bag....

Clearly I will be ringing them today to mention I dont wish to see him again.

How did others deal with anti-VBAC Ob's?? Where can I find the statistics to give to him if need be? Any good lines I can tell him???

Oh my goodness! what a stupid head! he obviously needs to go back to Dr School. No advice on what to say though. It's a battle with the hospital system and their silly protocols and ideas and recommendations they have some times.

Obviouslt the thing to do is to educate yourself- which i'm sure you already have so that you don't run in to these problems when you go to birth and obviously someone to stand up for you in birth, will your DF be good for this? Because its easy to get bullied into something when your in labour.


the time is getting close, your baby will be here soon excited much!

VBAC - On Whose Terms?
VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Caesarean) - What To Expect

What a douche!! Your advanced age?? Is he serious, I don't know whether to laugh or cry!

I saw a Dr similar to this at about the same stage of pregnancy. I think this must be the common time where they purposely try to scare you out of having a VBAC. The woman I saw told me all this crap about how I could have a mobile monitor, but I still shouldn't move because it is so important to get a good reading. Well whats the point of having a MOBILE monitor then?! She told me I should have an epidural as soon as I come in so it ready for when I need to go for a c-section :shakehead: She sent me for a for a growth scan too, but no one mentioned it at my next appt so it was a big waste of time. She was trying anything and at the end of the appt asks if I still want to go ahead and have a "trial of scar" as they like to put it. Um hell yes I do biatch!
Anyway sorry to ramble on :redface: At the time she did kind of make me start to doubt myself a bit, but looking back I wish I had laughed in her face. If I had my time again I would definitely throw this one in there "but I've heard the rupture risk is the same as that of a first time mother being induced, do those mothers get the same warning as I'm getting right now?"

As for the growth scans, I'm sure you know they are soooo inaccurate! I wouldn't let that bother you if they bring that up again.

I don't know where you can get good stats to throw at them, but I'm sure you'll get plenty of great advice here soon. Try not to stress hun, I'm sure all of us who have had successful VBAC's have seen a Dr like this along the way. Good luck for your next appt :hug:

you know what? i wouldnt bother with stats for him. like you mentioned, call the hospital and request that he does not see you again. (word it that he is NOT to attend to you again...not 'i dont want to see him again' or 'i'd prefer not to see him again'. you have to be firm on this one and have it on record). in future, for any future douche bag appts just walk out. if you want to get narky (as i am sure i would lol), ask him how many women did he induce today? (did the high risk of rupture bother him then?)...

argh, i hate arrogant, ignorant people in positions of power...argh!

and big one of these for you :hug:

What a w*nker.

I don't have much advice - I never had to fight for mine - even after 2 c-sections (omg the risks mel, the risks!!! your stomach will explode!!! ahhhhhh *runs away screaming*)

Oh and even though I'm of extremely advanced age and ready for the grave apparently - my body birthed my babies just fine - even at the ripe old age of 33.

Lucky I'm not having any more since I'm 34 now....

All sarcasm and joking aside - if you come up against him again - ask him what his policy is on inducing first time mums - cos the risks of rupture are the same for both.

Keep in mind that ob's rarely make the birth anyway - so all you need is a supportive midwife who believes in you - and belief in yourself will help too. xxxx

Thanks girls. I thought he was completley out of line. I rang my GP and she was furious and was ringing the hospital to tell them he is not to come near me again.. even whilst in labour.

I hate to admit it though..... his words are haunting me and has made me start doubting myself that I can do it. Im trying to re-focus, but its hard.

:hug: you have time to refocus. dont bottle it in, let it out, get on the birth music and sit somewhere dark and quiet and cry your eyes out if you need. i did this after a day when i was told that i was going to fail (having baby home, i know different but emotions were of feeling like a failure IYKWIM). just a thought...

then, once you have had a big phat cry, then get back up and start preparing something really cool and positive for the upcoming labour/birth (like pack some special things that you will need for your labour and start to imagine using them and how and how that will make you feel loved and supported by whomever is giving those things to you in that moment ITMS).

xx

YOU CAN DO IT! I have every faith you in Hun, don't let stupid heads like him get you down and doubt yourself. :hug:

OMG don't let him shake your confidence! He was lying to you!! WTF!!!!!!! How on earth are you supposed to trust him when he just makes up the stats to suit himself.

Advanced age :rofl: he needs a serious kick upside the head. In future when anyone starts coming up with this so called 'research' they're quoting, just ask to see it because it doesn't fit with the research you've read.

Thanks girls.

My GP was disgusted when I told her and said it was very unprofessional of him. She also asked what he was basing it off (like if I have majour health problems and need bub out asap) and I said nothing. He didnt even look at my file. This was just him. He was a complete tool and my mum was with me... I think she almost smacked him in the head. She told him that she had 6 babies naturally and he said "oh they didnt do ceasers back then"... shes like "Im not 150!". My Gp thought it was quite funny when I said I was at advanced age and he said I would be able to have a productive labour because my body is too "old" now. Even AFTER I stated to him that I laboured perfectly fine with DD and even got to 7cm all on my own before she went into distress.

One thing he said that really annoyed me was.. Quote "back in the day when women had 4 or more babies, they didnt care if one died during labour as they still had 4 alive babies but this day and age most women only seem to have 1 or 2 babies and are affected enormously by a death of a baby" he then turns to my mum and says "ask around, im sure one of your friends have suffered a loss when they have so many babies".. Mum replies " No, i know of no one who has suffered a loss due to a vaginal birth and I birthed 6 babies and they are all here today"... He said nothing.

My GP agreed that he was just a bully and nothing excuses the way he treated me. She said not to listen to him and I am more than capable at birthing my baby and more so without the invervention of him. Shes the one that talked me into (In the early days I still wasnt sure what I wanted to do) having a VBAC, so needless to say... she wants to hang him from the roof.

My day is filled with reading successful VBAC stories.. lighting some candles and erasing him from my mind.

Sometimes I think knOBs become knOBs because they enjoy taking away our choices, and slicing and dicing us to 'help' us birth our babies. Because obviously we couldn't possibly do it on our own!

You should've seen the drs run for their scalpels when I agreed to a c/s. The excitement in the air was palpable. It sickens me to think about it now. The happy chatter in the OR as they waited for me to come in from the next room was also kind of of-putting.

Oh MM that's awful :( I only just seen this! Massive :hug: You can do it hun- you've done your research and you know your body! I'm so sorry you had an ******* OB who made you doubt yourself!
FWIW, the hossy i'm going to are really pro-VBAC and discourage repeat c-sections. Don't listen to that stupid knOB (love that forshelby :) ) and refocus. I'm cheering for you hun xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Wow! I've heard some corkers, but that abuot takes the cake! Did you ask to see his credentials? Are you sure he's even been to medical school. You're of 'advanced age' - Holy ****, I am geriatric. He should be reported for being an absolute idiot, if not for nasty bullying and trying to waste money - you don't need surgery!

Surround yourself with positive energy and people who believe in you. You've every right to throw him out, along with anyone else who isn't there to support you.

Wow! What a strange man! I can understand some OBs being more or less conservative than each other in terms of their opinions on VBAC, but he sounds loopy and totally out of line. What a terrible attitude for an OB to have that babies are more or less replacable when you have 4 or more :o

I also think it's crazy that he's calling you "old" - if anything I'm getting the opposite, anything that I'm concerned about I feel that all the staff are almost too dismissive because they see me as "young" (I'm 26) so unlikely to have any complications. Totally bizarre. I'm sure you know that 23 isn't old, and that heaps of the other things he said you know to be wrong too - so as far as I'm concerned you can discredit every word that came out of his mouth and ignore it. *hugs* good luck in proving him wrong!

Sorry to highjack your thread, but...

I want this bastard's name. He needs an extension to his education. I've never read more offensive rubbish from a doctor's mouth. I'd actually be reporting him, for both how he handled the VBAC information but also the disgusting comments about not minding if a baby or two died back in the day. My grandmother had a stillbirth and I know damn well it affected the whole family.

Are you sure he was actually qualified? Seriously, he is so ill informed and lacking in compassion, he should not be allowed to practice.

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Sorry to highjack your thread, but...

I want this bastard's name. He needs an extension to his education. I've never read more offensive rubbish from a doctor's mouth. I'd actually be reporting him, for both how he handled the VBAC information but also the disgusting comments about not minding if a baby or two died back in the day. My grandmother had a stillbirth and I know damn well it affected the whole family.

Are you sure he was actually qualified? Seriously, he is so ill informed and lacking in compassion, he should not be allowed to practice.

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:clap: I absolutely agree with you tashybabe- i reckon you should report him MM. My grandma had a stillborn baby boy- she was so traumatised (as you would be!) and unsupported that she didn't even see him, hold him or even get a photo of him. She is tormented by it to this day.....

If you become a member of the Maternity Coalition they can represent you....

Well, he's wrong about just about every 'risk' that he mentioned anyway. But a good read through of some decent books will allay your fears in that area.

Since you are of 'advanced age' I assume he was still a teenager? In which case, what on earth was he doing pretending to be a dr?

Put him out of your mind. He's talking rubbish. Have a good chat to a midwife who knows their stuff. (I'm having a home birth for my VBAC at the ripe old age of 34 and have had no one, not even my private ob that I saw earlier on in the pg, try to talk me out of it as unsafe. All thought VBAC was the most probable and best outcome for me and baby. GP thinks it's great that I'm having a home birth!)

Push everything he said out of your mind, ds was 4.45kg and I still had a successful vbac, at the ripe old age of 34!

:grouphug: to you mm

You have the body of every birthing woman. Of course you can birth this babe !!!

I agree about reporting him...what a knOb!!! Disgusting rubbish that is disrespectful to women. Sometimes I think men become ob/gyn because they're misogynistic and like to wield power over vulnerable women.

Eek!
I would consider telling the hospital in writing about this doctor and saying that given his obvious lack of caring and competence you do not want him to be responsible for any aspect of your care.
If all goes according to plan he won't have any reason to be involved. But if you actually did need a repeat CS I would hate you to get a surgeon who you are uncomfortable with and who seems insane.
All the best for the next few weeks!

M_M I believe with every bone in my body that you can do this! DO NOT doubt yourself, I remember when we caught up with our girls and you were telling me about how excited you were to be trying for VBAC, don't let one moronic OB who clearly knows stuff-all get to you. :hug: You can do it, believe in yourself! :)