Velcro baby support group!

I'm in need of support from other mummies who know what it's like to have a Velcro baby!

DS2 is 4 months old and has been this way since birth, he seems to be getting worse, not better!

He will not sleep in his cot, at all. All day sleeps are either in my arms or in the car or occasionally his pram while we are out. At night he sleeps with me, I've given up trying to put him in his cot.

During the day I might get 5-10 mins at a time maybe 3-4 times a day where he's happy for me to put him in his swing or jolly jumper, this allows me to get the essentials done like feed the rest of the family etc but not much time for anything else.

I used to carry him around in the sling all day but now his legs hang too low for it to be comfy and he's also starting to get a little too heavy for me.

When did it get easier? When was your little one happy to spend some time independant of you?

I love my little man to bits and will keep doing what we are doing until he is ready but I guess I really just need to know I'm not alone!

Me!! Me!!

Miss P should have been Miss V! My co-sleeping, chest napping, booby loving bub. I actually checked the other day to make sure someone remembered to cut the umbilical cord...

She's so easy - as long as I'm holding her!

Miss P is 9 months now and has just started crawling. She's happy on the floor for about 5 minutes, as long as she can see me. I figure once she gets faster and more mobile I might get my left arm back! On a positive note, there's not much I can't do one handed! (I can even undo a belt, take my pants down, toilet, wipe, pull up pants, redo belt and flush - all with one hand! It's a talent...!)

Its hard work isn't it. My DD2 was a serious velcro baby. Still is to a certain extent and no, I won't tell you how old she is cos we'll keep this positive!! It was a huge shock for me because DD1 was such an easy going baby who was happy to go to anyone and everyone.

I found a big improvement in losing the limpet for longer periods when she got mobile. She was still extremely clingy, but much improved. FWIW, DD2 when she's not having one of her clingy periods is by far the more independent of my two girls.

ETA: Absolutely right about increased skills. I never would have thought I could go to the toilet one-handed before DD2 came along

DD is an afternoon Velcro baby... I cannot put her down in the afternoons, she has to sleep on mr. Not quite full time, but like you said Jaycee, seems to be getting worse not better!

I'm with you sister, lol.

My velcro baby is attached to me as I type this. I'd say more, but he's wiggling around in the sling and making things a bit difficult... :rofl: Back later!

Yes my dd was like this, I just held her because it was either that or she wouldn't sleep. She had bad refulx so was held pretty much constantly as a newborn and I think it stemmed from then. I used to put her in the ergo so that I could clean the house, otherwise nothing got done. She wanted to be held almost 24/7. As she has gotten older she has become alot happier to do her own thing. Other than a bit of separation anxiety lately she is usually happy to play on her own, put herself to sleep etc. She seems to have done everything in her own time. She is a super cuddly baby now which I love. It will get better :)

All three of mine where Velcro babies and I have no doubt this one will be too! I used to get stupid comments like oohhh that's not good you spoil him. That's not good you should let him cry. I even got one stupid women saying I should stop bf because ds3 was too clingy. But you know what? I am proud of it now after all I AM their mumma if they don't feel safe and content with me well then who? It does get better. My boys are only clingy when they are sick now. I must admit I do still co sleep sometimes with all of them! But I doubt they will be still doing that in their twenties!! :)) (god I hope not)

I've currently got my sleeping velcro baby in my arms cos its the only way she will sleep.

I just take a seat on the couch and let her sleep, cos I can yell at the other kids just as good if I'm sitting down as I can if I'm standing.......

I'm trying not to let it bother me THAT much, it won't last forever, and she's my last one.

Bonus! I just managed the nip and slip on the bed and got a WHOLE 15 minutes before Miss P realised she was not attached to me and woke up. Long enough to slam a sandwich in my gob... I no complain!!

DS is a limpet! When he was a newborn he had to be held ALL the time unless he was asleep or being bounced in his bouncer. The sling didn't work as it wasn't close enough. When he got to about 5 or 6 months, he started to enjoy our little walks in the pram as long as we kept moving, and from about 7 months he'd even fall asleep in there (though would wake up as soon as it stopped moving!). DS's sleep times were the only time I got to be more than a few metres away from him up until a couple of months ago.

When he could sit, things improved in that I could sit with him rather than having to hold him, but still had to carry him every time I moved (even if it was just across the room!). When he started crawling, he'd follow me around, then cling to my leg until I picked him up. Same for when he started walking. People used to tell me he'd be 'happier' once he could crawl/walk etc but it wasn't until after he turned one, he started becoming a bit more independent. I don't think it had anything to do with being more mobile, it was more of a developmental and understanding thing.

He will happily play for 5 or so minutes right next to me or DH now, but does still spend most of his 'independent play time' sitting on my lap, iykwim. He still grabs us and pulls us along to play with him or show him something, but once or twice a day he will wander off and play by himself for up to 20 minutes. He will also usually play in the lounge by himself while I am in there folding washing. He's absolutely fine if it's his idea to move away, but still gets upset if we're the ones who have to go and he doesn't want us to.

Basically, my little man wants to be wherever we are. The more he's included, the happier he is. The happier he is, the less of a limpet he is. That 1/2 metre gap seems like a kilometre when you've spent 12 months connected to him, lol! I'm used to going to the toilet with him now (he's at the age where he's pointing and asking about everything now so it's like a running commentary...'mummy is doing a wee'...'mummy is pulling her pants up'....'mummy is flushing' :reface:) and having him around while I do the housework - he plays with the pegs or hands them to me, gets the washing out of the machine, sits on the bench while I chop veggies, plays in his 'special' cupboard while I do the washing up etc. He's also great with a dustpan and brush or sponge.... ;)

My brother and his partner have just had a baby and I was amazed when we visited to be greeted at the door by mum and dad and bub was in the bouncer around the corner, awake but not screaming! It didn't compute...;)

Limpet. lol.

Someone spilled superglue on me, I think. Little girl is sick, which doesn't help (if she's well, I get 3 or 4 30 minute bursts per day in which to do stuff.) but, yeah, I own 9 different baby carriers for a reason!

my DS was like that & still is to a certain extent.

he wanted to sleep on me for naps for a long time - he definitely grew out of it a bit by the time he was 6 months. i still lie down next to him while he goes to sleep & he's 2. i don't have a problem with it though & he's been sleeping on a matress (and a bed since he was about 18 months) since he was 9 months old - it's made settling him far easier.

i noticed that he became far more independent when he started walking at 12 months - it was almost as if he realised he could get to me (moreso than when he was crawling) if he needed to, which meant it was okay to leave my side.

he still likes a bit of my attention & often asks for 'cuggles' but i don't mind :) i went through a stage of being a bit frustrated but someone commented at playgroup one day how lovely it must be to get all those cuddles & how her little boy just wasn't interested. then i realised i needed to change my way of thinking & appreciate the positives.

i tried a sling when DS was a NB but didn't have much money to try different sorts & he didn't like the one i'd bought :rolleyes: this time i'm prepared & have already bought a close carrier!

I'm a velcro mama from way back.
Can't help you with when it will improve cos I've blocked those memories out lol.
I did console myself many a time with 'I'm offering them a nurturing, secure safe place to gain their confidence. They will use that to their advantage to feel safe and secure enough to venture out on their own'.
DD I battled, but DS I just went with it and I have to say, he is much more independent, self confident and self assured than DD. And apart from that early stage my parenting is largely the same for both of them.
:hug: it def does get better though.

We call DS Klingon. But thankfully he's only an wakeful cling on... He does sleep, now, in his cot. But before he was about 6mths, only on me.

Now, when he is awake, he has to be with me, generally in my arms. I'm a leader for mainly music, a music-based Playgroup, and on Friday DS did the whole session from the vantage point of the Ergo on my back. He loved it and all the mums thought it was quite funny! He wouldn't even go to my sister, who he has seen every week, a coupons of times a week normally, since he was born. And he loves his Aunty! But even she wasn't cutting it!

Seems to be getting worse... :think:

We'll slide in here.
Its summer here and HOT so my sling isnt used to full potential, great but too hot.
Pram? Nah not really yet its too far away from mummy :lol:
Somedays Sophie spends most of the day grizzling because mummy put her down. I havent mastered 1 handed toileting yet, 1 handed hanging out of washing etc, bring on the cooler weather so we can sling it all day. All our kids have been varying degrees of velcro but this 1 takes the cake
My mum says baby is manipulating me- RIGHT, cause a 2-3 month old baby can think that way ? WTH!

Aaaahhh, doubletrouble, our mum's must be friends!! My mother tells me that I am 'making a rod for my own back' when I pick Miss P up instead of letting her CIO. Yes, mum, but it is MY OWN back - not yours, so shush!

As for prams, I have a Bugaboo Cameleon I bought for this baby (I have two older kiddies, but I wanted a new pram). My DH likes to tell me I spent $1500 on a very expensive shopping trolley as I have to carry Miss P around while I push it!!

I think just as the clinginess is about to end, the separation anxiety kicks in and you start all over again.... Having said that, DS is at an awesome age atm, and I love having him around me all day. The times I resent it and wish he'd let me put him down (and get on with housework etc), the worse it gets (and I think I spent way too much time doing that when he was a newborn - all those self-imposed expectations of having to be Supermum :shake head:). When I just go with it and spend time with him, we have soooo much fun together. If the vacuuming doesn't get done, so what? If it takes 30 minutes to hang the washing out, so what? I have the most amazing little boy who teaches me so much more than a vacuum cleaner ever could.

Toilet tip - I'd take the bouncer in there and bounce it, plus sing and make faces and that would buy me just enough time to do what I needed to (with grizzles, but not full blown upset crying).

OP, you cracked me up with Klingon - DH calls the the 'remnants' on the toilet bowl Klingons (as in, "There's Klingons on the starboard bow"!!!!) ROFL :lol:

Also, Jaycee, get a better sling. If yours is uncomfortable at 4 months, then it's a piece of junk. You won't know yourself when you can do back carries.

It's so good to read all this - I kinda thought it was normal and wondered how other mums get so much done. I've looked after plenty of other babies this age, but most were parented a little differently to what I have, so I pondered the connection. But it might just be my baby. And I don't mind. It's nice to be loved so much.

And as a friend says "When they're 15 they certainly won't want to climb into your bed in the night, or want cuddles ever, so just make the most of it while you can."

Thanks everyone for your replies! I'm on my phone so can't do persies but it's nice to know I'm not alone!

so ive typed and deleted so many times because i just feel so bad for feeling the way i do :cry: but here goes...


my DD2 only wants ME and i'm really not coping with it....DD1 was a 'dream baby', went to anyone, didn't need me in her face and was a happy baby. DD2, has, pretty much from birth, screamed at anyone who is not me (this includes my DH). granted she did have severe reflux, and i was her comfort tool, but she was treated for the reflux and we seemed to turn a corner when she hit 5 months and would (finally) go to her Daddy....fast forward to now and we've gone back to the screaming episodes. i cant even go to the toilet now without her losing the plot....and not just a whinging cry, but full blown, screaming, snotty, sweaty face inconsolable and lots and lots of tears until i pick her up. the only time i get away from her (nice aren't i?) is when she is asleep....she will sleep in her cot and has done from 5 months so not really too sure what that's about, but during her waking hours, its me me me she wants....she pretty much lives in her Ergo with me, but i. am. struggling. i really cannot stand it and am starting to resent her (which i know is a horrible horrible thing to say)...i feel like i spend next to no time with DD1 as DD2 is so demanding and i miss that 1:1 with DD1.....i really sound like a horrible person but i just needed to off load to ppl who understand.....so thanks for letting me vent...hmmm...maybe i should've posted this in the boo hoo thread :hide:

Negrita - I hear you! I used to spend a lot of his awake time hanging out for nap times, and then feeling guilty for wanting him to go to sleep! Do you take DD into the toilet with you? DS comes with me but still cracks it and cries about 85% of the time. As for nap times, I now 'schedule' 20 mins or so 'me' time as soon as DS goes down for a nap. Some days I just sit with a cuppa, some days I read or do my nails - as long as it's something that I choose. It makes me feel like I'm in control iykwim. Please don't feel bad for feeling the way you do. I think your feelings are legitimate. And you are not alone in having them.

My other tip as I said in a pp, is to try to just go with what your LO wants. The more I try to do other stuff or wish I had a little more freedom, the worse I feel. The more I include DS in my everyday routine, the happier we both are - he seems to almost forget for a while that he's not actually attached to me if he has something to occupy him! And, things have improved SOOOOO much in the last few months, so hang in there. I try to work out the things we can do together (even if it takes three or four times longer than it usually would) and do those when DS is awake. The other stuff I do when he's asleep. He sits on the kitchen bench while I prepare dinner. He hands me the cutlery/pegs when I empty the dishwasher/hang the clothes (or just plays with the pegs). I also find if I say something like "You can help Mummy fold the clothes or you can play with your blocks next to me" then get out his blocks, put them right next to me and help him 'start' playing that he'll play for a few minutes (with me constantly talking to him). I know your DD is younger than my DS, so is probably a little young to 'get' some of the above, but if you start now, she might respond in time....maybe ;)

New Velcro baby here!! Ds is only two weeks but I can already see the same old pattern forming!! Great great great night sleeper in fact I get a good 7 hour stretch out of him. But means he cluster feeds and cat naps pretty much all day long!! I have never gotten the hang of baby wearing so it makes it very frustrating when needing to do daily tasks and tend to my other 3 boys!!

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Negrita - I hear you! I used to spend a lot of his awake time hanging out for nap times, and then feeling guilty for wanting him to go to sleep! Do you take DD into the toilet with you? DS comes with me but still cracks it and cries about 85% of the time. As for nap times, I now 'schedule' 20 mins or so 'me' time as soon as DS goes down for a nap. Some days I just sit with a cuppa, some days I read or do my nails - as long as it's something that I choose. It makes me feel like I'm in control iykwim. Please don't feel bad for feeling the way you do. I think your feelings are legitimate. And you are not alone in having them.

My other tip as I said in a pp, is to try to just go with what your LO wants. The more I try to do other stuff or wish I had a little more freedom, the worse I feel. The more I include DS in my everyday routine, the happier we both are - he seems to almost forget for a while that he's not actually attached to me if he has something to occupy him! And, things have improved SOOOOO much in the last few months, so hang in there. I try to work out the things we can do together (even if it takes three or four times longer than it usually would) and do those when DS is awake. The other stuff I do when he's asleep. He sits on the kitchen bench while I prepare dinner. He hands me the cutlery/pegs when I empty the dishwasher/hang the clothes (or just plays with the pegs). I also find if I say something like "You can help Mummy fold the clothes or you can play with your blocks next to me" then get out his blocks, put them right next to me and help him 'start' playing that he'll play for a few minutes (with me constantly talking to him). I know your DD is younger than my DS, so is probably a little young to 'get' some of the above, but if you start now, she might respond in time....maybe ;)

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Thanks hun :hug: - on a good day i can get to the loo on my own, but usually DD2 is with me, in the Ergo. I do include her in my everyday activities (cooking, washing etc), i mean she practically lives in the Ergo on me, i just don't like it :redface: but it keeps her from screaming like a banshee, so i do what i have to do! I just feel like i neglect my DD1 because DD2 is so demanding. my Dh works afternoon shift (3-11pm) so im on my own for the feral hours and thats when i find it the hardest....i know she won't always be like this (at least thats what im telling myself!!) and mostly i do just try to go with whatever she wants, but i just feel so blah sometimes :(

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New Velcro baby here!! Ds is only two weeks but I can already see the same old pattern forming!! Great great great night sleeper in fact I get a good 7 hour stretch out of him. But means he cluster feeds and cat naps pretty much all day long!! I have never gotten the hang of baby wearing so it makes it very frustrating when needing to do daily tasks and tend to my other 3 boys!!

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Big :hug: hun, its hardwork isn't it?! i've only got 2 DD's and im struggling, so i don't know how you do it with a newborn plus your additional 3!!! - what kind of carrier have you got?

Only just seen this thread. I to have a velcro baby. DD4 is terrible. My arm muscles are huge now from carrying her everywhere lol. She likes to sleep on me (won't do it anywhere else), has to constantly be with me and if not being carried then being fed. Even if I can get Miss P to sleep, the moment I put her down she wakes up because I'm not holding her any longer. Even at night she follows me around the bed. If she can't touch me then she wakes up. I'm hoping this phase doesn't last long. I still have 2 others 4 and under to look after as well as my older kids :rollseyes:

Oh, Kim! I know that bit about following you around the bed! My Miss P is exactly the same... and if she isn't touching me she wakes up and cries until she is!

I am finding days slightly easier. Now that Miss P is mobile (crawling) she is a bit happier to play on the floor at my feet for a few minutes... as long as she is no further than 2 metres from me! She'll even sit on the floor of the toilet at home instead of on my lap!

We call DS a barnacle, with me during the day, if DF is home tho i don't even get a look in. It used to be the opposite but now DF does the bedtime routine. As I type he's sitting on my feet cos I won't pick him up.

Can't wait for after our wedding when I have enough money to buy a proper carrier.

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Just found this thread. My DD was a Velcro baby from a very early age. She would cry if anyone else held her so I was doing everything on my own for her which was tough at times. As she's gotten older she's OK with other people but still wants me around a lot. So she still is quite clingy with me but it has gotten easier.

My DD is just starting to show signs of Velcro-ness. She's 3 & 1/2 weeks now, and just over the last 4 or 5 days she'll only nap during the daytime if being held by me or DH. For now it's ok because DH is still on leave, so between the two of us we get to shower, eat, go to the loo and sleep (although sometimes it's only in shifts!). She'll usually lie in her bassinet after a feed and look around for 45 mins or so, but when it's time for sleep she starts to crack it.

I do so hope it's just an early phase...

Oh how I LOVE this thread!! Wow - I finally feel normal ;) my boy is exactly like some of you have described - a typical velcro baby, and has always been!

It is just so draining isn't it?! Some days I just want to run away lol. Not being able to do ANYTHING for more than 5 minutes at a time is really difficult. It was the worst the first 4 or so months where he had colic and wouldn't let me put him down from holding him AT ALL. he has never ever been self sufficient with putting himself to sleep, and this hasnt changed at all. He still needs to be fed to sleep, and if that doesn't work then a mixture of rocking, singing, bouncing, crazy noises - you name it! He sleeps in a baby hammock as he needs motion all the time, but even still there is ALWAYS crying and fussing around sleep time, which i find so difficult.

Never being able to have any time for myself is hard too - but I always make sure I respond to his needs 100% of the time and over my own. I struggle with how to keep him happy and entertained as lately he has been trying to wriggle out of my arms like he's frustrated but if I go to put him down then hell breaks loose lol it's so hard to keep up with the demands sometimes! It has gotten a little easier but not really any less demanding, emotionally and physically. I am a stay at home Mum and He breastfeeds 2 hourly around the clock and has done so from birth. I REALLY dont want another baby until he is at least 5 years old and in school LOL how would you cope?!

The love I have for him is out of this world though, and although he is a Full on baby that never wants a minute of relaxation and cat naps only during the day - the love I feel and how sweet I think it is that he wants me so much just makes it all worth it.

And I always remember.... This too shall pass! They won't be like this forever ;)

Look forward to sharing my journey with other Mummies that know exactly how *I* feel for a change!! Yay I am not alone :)


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Lol... seems there are a lot of velcro babies out there! Danni, I know what you mean about bub being restless in you arms but then screeching if you put them down. What are you supposed to do?? Maybe our velcro babies want us to get down and crawl around on the floor right next to them? Miss P and I do have plenty of floor time together but she won't explore much further than a couple of metres from me. If I leave the room she screeches and follows!

It really is great to know there are others going through the same thing!

I bought myself an ergo the other day and it is the best thing I could of done it is super comfy and I can get things done while we are both happy!

DS2 is also happy to play in his walker for 15 mins or so a couple of times a day and also DS1 and DS2 are starting to interact a lot more which keeps him occupied for a little while too, it is really cute to watch!

Oh, Jaycee I'm loving school holidays! DD1 (8) is like Mini Mum and DD2 will sit with her for 20 minutes or so, which gives me a break. DS is pretty good too, although I only get about 10 minutes out of him!

Having said that, DD2 is currently making her way from the family room to the bedroom (where I am), screeching all the way!! Better go and attach my little appendage...

Also Mummies.. I really need some advice in finding a comfortable front facing carrier!!! (if there is such a thing for a 10kg baby lol). Bub loved being in my peanut shell sling for a long time there but now he loves to face forward and watch the world with the comfort of being on Mummy ;) i have a bjorn but it is incredibly uncomfortable on my shoulders and back with front facing as well as a hug a bub which I cannot do up without DH around! Hmmm. Hoping someone has any good ones as we go for a walk while he's in his trike (he LOVES his trike) but not for as long as what it would be on me so I'm hoping there's an option out there still! Miss using my ergo too but he's older now so he gets a little restless and restricted by facing against me when he wants to look around.

And Nickle at least your little one is crawling! My boy doesn't want to be down on the floor long enough to learn lol he shuffles around and gets places that way but like you said Mum HAS to be around! But we can't be on the floor all day can we?!

And what do you do to occupy these little ones?! He gets sick of everything sooo quickly! And yes my boy is only happy in his exersaucer/ Walker (which we just bought for him) for like 10 mins tops! Grrrrrrrrr he's screaming at me right now lol better go!


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Nickel - The fact you even made it from the family room to the bedroom by yourself is huuuge! :roll eyes:

Jaycee - Glad the ergo is working for you.

Danni - I think you win, lol! You must be totally exhausted. It sounds like you don't ever get any time to yourself either. The fact you're even considering another is amazing! Having said that, I was thinking the same as you until DS got to about 12 months old. When his other skills (understanding, communicating) started getting better, I found things improved and a 4 year wait between children now seems waaay too much!

We still have issues with the same things every day though - me washing my hands, getting rid of dirty nappies and going to the loo. 9 times out of 10 he cracks it and now he's starting to do real tanties (head on the ground, bum in the air, screaming!) it's even more fun! :roll eyes: It's always worse if he's tired, hungry or just woken up (which usually means he's hungry, lol). We had a play date at the park yesterday and he spent the first hour pulling me around by the arm. He eventually warmed up and spent the next 15 minutes about 2m away from me (which was just bliss!), then got clingy again. It can be a bonus - the other mums are chasing their toddlers around trying to get them to come back and wondering why we're at a park that's not fenced but I don't have to worry about that at all!

But then we have mornings like today where he sat happily in his pram for an hour while I was shopping. Can't figure 'em out.....

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Also Mummies.. I really need some advice in finding a comfortable front facing carrier!!! (if there is such a thing for a 10kg baby lol). Bub loved being in my peanut shell sling for a long time there but now he loves to face forward and watch the world with the comfort of being on Mummy ;) i have a bjorn but it is incredibly uncomfortable on my shoulders and back with front facing as well as a hug a bub which I cannot do up without DH around! Hmmm. Hoping someone has any good ones as we go for a walk while he's in his trike (he LOVES his trike) but not for as long as what it would be on me so I'm hoping there's an option out there still! Miss using my ergo too but he's older now so he gets a little restless and restricted by facing against me when he wants to look around.

And Nickle at least your little one is crawling! My boy doesn't want to be down on the floor long enough to learn lol he shuffles around and gets places that way but like you said Mum HAS to be around! But we can't be on the floor all day can we?!

And what do you do to occupy these little ones?! He gets sick of everything sooo quickly! And yes my boy is only happy in his exersaucer/ Walker (which we just bought for him) for like 10 mins tops! Grrrrrrrrr he's screaming at me right now lol better go!

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big :hug: doll, you sound exhausted! - Have you tried putting your DS on your back in the Ergo? Like you, my DD2 wasn't really liking being squished into my chest anymore and at 7.5 months and 9.3kgs, i wasn't liking it either!! so i started putting her on my back in the ergo so she can look around and see things, while still being my little barnacle :rofl: and we are now both much happier!

ETA: does he like a Jolly Jumper? - i find DD2 will last about 15-20mins having a jump in her JJ which gives me a bit of breathing space :rolleyes:

Danni - Just saw your post. Can't help you with the carrier cos DS only ever wanted arms!

Ds 4 is Velcro baby today!! Must be his 3 week spurt!

Thanks so much for your support girls :) it's so appreciated... I don't know ANYONE with a baby like mine so I do feel quite alone.

Jleigh yep my boy is the same at home... But he's happy to be in a carrier/ sling when we are out and about (walks, shopping etc). And yes I am still trying to convince myself on having another one at all ;) lol but that doesn't change the fact that I love my boy more than anything in this world.


I must say with my little one... I find he is VERY emotional. He feels everything so intensely, like if he is happy he is REALLY happy, sad then REALLY sad, same with angry, excited etc. I wonder if anyone can relate to this with their bub?? I guess our babies just know what they want and how to express that need til they get what they want ;) hehe I think to myself well I know if it were back in the days where we were in the wild then my little monkey would surely e one of the few survivors lol they know how to get what they need which is a good thing too you know!

Also, I'm not sure if anyone knows about/ follows attachment parenting but there is a great book by William sears called "the fussy baby book" which describes what we seem to go through with constant attachment etc (well it hit the nail on the head with Damian)!

... And thanks for suggestion re ergo on back. Must give that a go..




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How do you get baby in a carseat?

DS1 is stil very emotional. I think its just some types of people. DS2 wasnt very emotional as a baby but is now and stil would be happy to be held all day every day if anybody was willing but kindy has helped that a bit.
Just got DD to sleep while she lay on the bed with me next to her! We'll see how long she sleeps for though- hope long enough for me to mop the floors

Dannii - DS is VERY emotional as well! That's exactly it! He gets really upset, really quickly, over little things. He's much more gentle and soft than his friends - he doesn't throw his toys, doesn't touch other children, doesn't take things off other children, not into climbing.

We had a play date yesterday and his friend stood near him (he was in his highchair, friend on the floor) and he just LOST it. Every time another child comes near him, he tenses up, gets distraught and clings to me. When he hears our neighbour raise her voice, he tenses up. When another kid 'throws' a toy while playing, not AT him, just away as in 'finished with that, what's next?!' (as all 16 month olds - except DS - do) he hates it. All these things make him clingy for ages afterwards. I feel bad that seeing other children seems so anxiety ridden for him, but I am hoping that by continuing to do it in small doses with me there to support him, he'll gradually improve.
We do a lot of talking about how it's ok to play on the other side of the room without mummy being right there, or it's ok to go 2m away to get a toy and come straight back. We also talk lots about friends and what they do (friends might want to play with a toy you have, they might sit/walk/stand near you, they might even touch you - and all of that is ok) and I always tell him where we're going and who we're going to see, and what kinds of things we could be doing before a play date (mummy might sit down and you might run around on the grass in front of her, mummy might push you on the swing, *insert name* might want to play with your ball and that would be ok because he's your friend etc). He has an awesome understanding of feelings, can sense if someone is upset and empathises very well too. Gee, I think DS is much more than a velcro baby too! ;) But he's my perfect little guy and I wouldn't change him for anything.

DT - DS is usually pretty good in his carseat. We have a fave toy or two in the car, but he now knows he has to put his arm through the seatbelt before he gets it (or swap hands if it's a small toy). I don't do any more than two stops on an outing or getting him back in the carseat can be a hassle. I also make sure he's had at least one chance to walk/move about before he goes back in the car rather than go straight from carseat to stroller to car seat again (though it's rare he goes in the stroller at all!).