[ADVICE] not wanting visitors??

ok im booked in for a c section on wednesday, not sure what time it will be done and have decided i dont want any visitors (apart form DF, DS and my mum will be watching ds or in with me) until the next day just so i have time to recover and at least be up and walking before anyone comes in. so its pretty much the in laws i dont want coming in as they please(if i had my way they wouldnt come in at all)

so my quesion is how would you go about telling people you didnt want them to come in when baby is born?? preferably in a nice non affending way(considering they will probably be anoyed anyway)

Get your dh to tell them after you have had the baby that you are not up for visitors yet after the operation. The midwives and hospital staff are great at keeping them away too.

I just told them straight up that I would be a bit drugged up, just had surgery and I wanted the first day to be me,DH and dd1. My c section was at 2.30, and I didn't get back to my room til 5.45 anyway. If people had a problem with it then too bad lol. My parents and sister did end up coming that night as they had dd1 at their place, plus I wanted them to meet dd2. But inlaws and friends came the next day :)

If you send out a SMS once bubs is bOrn, just writ mum and bubs tired so please hold off visiting today.
Good luck.

Or just don't tell them when you're c/s is booked?

Just come outright and tell everyone. You can even put it as a fb status if you wanted. Just something simple and straightforward like "Please no visitors until thursday or friday" (or never if that is what you want ;) ). If you feel you need to justify it or anything, you could say your doctor told you that you are not allowed visitpr until then. I thought you were very brave letting everyone know when you were going in! Alot of people I know won't tell anyone when they are booked in, because they don't want to have to deal with this same issue.

If you have your c/s first thing in the morning (like I was supposed to. Theatre booked for 8am, but didn't get in til nearly 10.30am), then don't send a text out til late afternoon, like 6-7pm. Or just say "Baby born at whatever time, mum and bub are doing well and are looking forward to having a few days alone to bond"
I don't plan on telling people straight away after my next one is born.

just let them know that you will send out a message once its okay for visitors as surgery lists often slip to make way for emergencies and you have no idea when your op is or how yours and bubs return will fit in with visiting hours. also keep the door to your room shut and most have the opportunity to put a sign up advising people to see midwife before entering. let the midwifes know you only want limited visitors and they'll often help police the situation - especially straight after surgery. or even just tell them immediate family only allowed for 24hrs after surgery afterall you'll have a cathetar etc and be fully bed bound until its removed.

You can tell people it's hospital / your doctors policy. An easy way out if you don't want to explain.


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We just told everyone. We spoke to them about why we made the decision, and that they were welcome to visit us once we were out of hospital.
We said the exact same thing to both sets of parents. The in-laws were completely understanding and respectful of our wishes. My parents on the other hand blew it completely out of proportion and made it out to be all about them.

We started preparing everyone months out by saying how much we were looking forward to the first day just being the three of us. Add to the end of the BA text/FB update (which can go out a few hours afterwards) "No visitors until Thurs. Please phone beforehand". We did that so we didn't end up with lots of visitors at once and so no-one turned up outside visiting hours. Don't be afraid to let people know you're tired or just not up for visitors. The sign on the door is a last resort - if you'd told people, texted and they still turned up, they'd have to be pretty darn thick, lol!!!

I've decided that I won't be having any visitors for the first few days at least this time around. I want my son to get used to the baby without stacks of people coming and making a fuss on day one. Plus I want to just chill out without that pressure too. I had a revolving front door when I had Moo and I think the first 2 weeks were just jam packed with people coming and going :lol: Which was lovely but I really just wanted to stay in bed!

So I have already made it clear that regarding introducing Moo to bubs I have very set plans that include no visitors initially. No one has said anything about it so there shouldn't be any noses out of joint when the time comes. I'll also say in the text that we'll let them know when we're ready for visitors.

Congrats for wednesday! How exciting! I'm in the same boat love, i'm booked for a c-section on the 21st of september. I told everyone straight up that i don't want visitors on the day i have bub. My DS will not be coming until the next day either- i want to be able to get out of bed and give him a cuddle etc. Nobody has been offended (i don't think anyway but i don't give a rats ass- it's my birth!)
Good luck and i wish you a speedy recovery!!!!
xxxxxxxxxxx

My gf sent a txt out advising they had their DD & requested no visitors until X day. I believe her wishes were respected

We sent a text after DD was born and it was something like this " C and N are proud to announce the arrival of S. Mum and bub are doing fine and we will let you know when we are up for visitors" ........ If people know you are having a C-sect on Wed then you can send something like this "Baby Y is due via C-Sect on Wed and we kindly ask for no visitors until Friday (or until notified again) so mum has ample recovery time"

Best of luck hun x x x x

i agree with the PP - you can still be very nice whilst still being firm & upfront about it. you could let people know beforehand & then when you do let people know it's happened, just specify no visitors until a certain day etc.

we were lucky in that DS was born at about 5.40pm & we didn't get a chance to tell people till it was too late to visit that evening & so we had 24 hours before people came.

i've had different messages when i've received birth announcements - some have specified only family until a certain day, no visitors at all, visitors welcome etc.

good luck with your c-sect :)

thanks ladies :)

so far only my mum and sisters know the date, my mum will be here watching ds for the week and i dont mind if she comes in and brings ds in, my sisters wont be visiting as they live 3 hours away and one is due to give birth the following week.
i guess i dont have to tell the in-laws but trying to stop DF from telling them immediatly after birth will be pretty impossible which is ok, but they normaly have no respect when it comes to visiting even on a normal day to day basis, mil NEVER calls before visiting EVER, so i asume that she will turn up uninvited whether i like it or not...

i guess i should start reminding DF i dont want visitors and hopefully he will make sure his family knows it...

Its totally your call to say when epople can come or not. When we were planning DS's birth we made it clear that look we will be waiting all day- who knows when we will ACTUALLy be going in, so to save everyone just waiting and waiting all day, please wait until the next day for visitors. i think i sent a text (or maybe email) and I also called. When he came early we actually got the advantage of just not telling anyone!!! lol We did call my mum who i think did visited on the first day (thats bad i dont remember!! lol) but all other visitors waited until the next day :)

With DD we were away from most of the family, didnt have the csection til the afternoon and DH stayed with me us as long as he was allowed and then went home and mum and DS came the next day. I think my other relos came the day after, but they called and checked first. Geee my memory is shocking!!!

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With DD we were away from most of the family, didnt have the csection til the afternoon and DH stayed with me us as long as he was allowed and then went home and mum and DS came the next day. I think my other relos came the day after, but they called and checked first. Geee my memory is shocking!!!

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except for one relative you just wouldnt leave you alone, even when she was born!!! Insisted on being the one to recieve her and make her pretty for you =P

maybe say something like 'mum and bub are enjoying a day of rest today. but feel free to phone tomorrow before you visit. something like that?? I personally would just say 'bugger off till 'such and such'.
You can also let the staff know and they can man the door and make sure no one sneaks in. <-- this also helps cause you can make the staff 'the bad guys' and get them to tell people no one can come, so its not you as such. Us midwives are good at that =)

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except for one relative you just wouldnt leave you alone, even when she was born!!! Insisted on being the one to recieve her and make her pretty for you =P

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Yeah who was that chick again??!!!! Geeeze :P

And yeah midwives are good at keeping people away!! (except for themselves :P) Its fair enough too to want some space.. I know that every mum wants some alone time with their bub and that should be good enough reason to request some alone time...... but to be quite graphic.. after a csection.. A) you wont be up and about for quite a few hours due to not being able to move your legs... and B) you have a catheda, and your bleeding. Your not wearing undies and your bleeding.... um.... one word.. privacy... please.

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after a csection.. A) you wont be up and about for quite a few hours due to not being able to move your legs... and B) you have a catheda, and your bleeding. Your not wearing undies and your bleeding.... um.... one word.. privacy... please.

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Exactly why i don't want visitors

You could always say you are having a lotus birth... that tends to keep visitors at bay :rofl:

Seriously though, just do the old positive negative positive message and they'll be happy.. ie.
"We are proud to announce the arrival of LO etc., we aren't quite ready for visitors yet but look forward to sharing him with you all soon, thank you for all your love and support."

I am not sure how you would go about it but make sure you stick to what you want. I told everyone before DS#3 was born that i wouldn't have visitors until after my school kiddies had met him . I thought htat was reasonable ( same day just in the afternoon cause me c section was planned for morning) and my sister still turned up at lunch. I didn't want to make a drama because i just had a bub but now i a,m still angry a t her for it ( i know my issue and i need to let it go but yeah) So once you have decided what you want stick to it! Good luck!!

friends of ours only told people that needed to know the c/section date what the date actually was. everyone else was told baby was born when they were ready to tell.