Iui to ivf and scared

Hi ladies, I assume I am not the only person who has felt scared before starting the ball roll in the next phase of trying to conceive. We did iui 5 times last year, fell naturally in Jan but lost it very early and after my recent surgery and being diagnosed with PCOS we are now looking into starting our first round of ivf in a couple of months. I am really scared about all the injections etc that go with it. Does anyone have any advice for me on how to not stress as I know this won't help the situation.

Well, I know that after doing IUI I was adamant I was not going to do IVF & try naturally (we fell pg with DD naturally) and I think it was b/c I found IUI very stressful at times and thought my stress and anxiety would be heightened even more with IVF. Following a discussion with my gf, my DH & I decided to do the counselling, find out the costs etc... and we are now contemplating doing IVF. My fears are not about the injections - they are the same as IUI from what I understand. The difference is the eggs being collected and then put back in. I really don't know if you can't ever not stress b/c there is so much going on & you have such high hopes that it will 'work'. I'd join in with the other gals doing IVF so you can use them and their experiences to help you along the way. You can also access counselling at any time through Monash in Victoria, but not sure about IVF QLD.

Prior to starting ivf I was completely needle-phobic, and the thought of blood tests and injections scared me more than anything else to do with the process. I was amazed at how quickly my initial fears disappeared. Bt's don't phase me anymore, and after my first couple of injections I actually started to feel 'empowered' by them - in the sense that I was in control and each shot was one step closer to achieving a pg. For me, bt's and injections became routine pretty quickly, and I suspect this is the same for a lot of ivf-ers.

I agree with rhichichi - the real stress is not the medical side, but the unknown. Are the hormones working correctly? Do you have enough follies? How many eggs did they collect? How many fertlised? How many survived? and the most important, did it work? I think most clinics offer free counselling for ivf patients, and it's worth checking it out before you start and as you go along.

Thanks for all the advice and sharing of how you felt. Even though I am on these chats you still feel so alone as so many of my friends don't understand what I am going through, they even admit they can't fully understand. Hopefully after it starts I will feel a lot better.

Completely understand how your feeling and as PP there is alot you can choose to stress about in IUI's and IVF but at the end of the day all the stress and worry is actually counterproductive. I was petrified before my first IVF, scared of the needles, scared of how EPU would work etc. In the end yes the first time you give your self a needle is hard but it DOES get easier. As for EPU, I eventually found out my clinic does it under general, so you dont feel a thing ..:lol:. It ended up being a lot easier than I expected. I am heading into our second IVF in November and this time round have no anxiety at all...

Haven't been on for a while, I keep trying to pretend I am coping with it all and then realise how much I am praying it will happen naturally before we have to do ivf next year. Has anyone used counsellors through the fertility clinics, I feel like I am at a point where I may need them because in reality I am not coping. One of my very close friends that we spend a lot of time with is 10 weeks pregnant and I hate the feeling of jealousy I get and some days I am that much of a mess with our own rollercoaster that I can't go and see her.
I know she understands but I don't want to break down in front of her as I don't ever want her to not feel like she can talk to me about her pregnancy. On my good days I love sharing it with her but bad days I don't want to know.
I feel so selfish, I am hoping others have gone through this and might be able to help me.

Blinky Have you started your ivf this month?

Sure am Kerbear... I thought I might have actually had been pregnant ( I was three days late..) but No I could never be so lucky. Started Stims on Thursday... FIst scan next Tuesday..

Just read your post :redface: I know exactly how you feel.. I feel surrounded by babies and pregnancy everywhere I go... and still after 2 1/2 years I get jealous , I avoid situations that will surround me with those who have or are having babies and sometimes wonder when we are going through all this whether my husband sometimes secretly wishes he married someone different (i.e. a fertile)...

All the best. Xoxo hope this one us youes.

sent via my vortex manipulator

Oh blinky76 don't ever think that, hd married you because he loves you

Ooops hit send without finishing it lol. It is such a hard thing emotionally and physically. Keep strong and my fingers and toes are crossed for you. I have a week left before I an due this month and I an crossing my fingers we got pregnant so we don't have to ivf next year but I know in my heart that I won't be, like you I am nit that lucky.

So sorry to hear about your BFN but best of luck with this stim. I'm only a few days behind you.

I am having my first ivf in January after being told this week that I don't have time on my side due to hormone levels in regards to my eggs. I have my nurse appointment on wed.
I am excited but also scared, my specialist has had to make a hard decision with my medication due to the low hormone level and also having pco as she doesn't want to cause my body Amy trauma from the med's being to high so she has gone mid range.
On the up side the hubby got told he has great swimmers and she doesn't often see results like his in her line of work so he was very pleased with himself :-)
How is everyone else going on their journey???

I also am desperately trying to avoid starting IVF in January so understand what you are feeling......DTD when O and AF 1day late but suspect she is coming ....considered POAS but will just wait.....one more month to try!

Oh kashby I hope you have some luck this month :-) my fingers are crossed for you. I have given up on thinking I will be lucky before then so I am just accepting that this is the path I have to go down. Hopefully next Christmas will be a baby's first Christmas if we are lucky!!!!

I completely understand what you are saying. I also feel like I am surrounded by pregnant people and babies and I hate that I have become so jealous of others. Be kind to yourself. It's hard. Particulalry when it come so easily to others. It's sad that the journey is a little more complicated for some of us.

I have PCOS, severe endo and one blocked fallopian tube. DH's swimmers arent great either. FShas said we will need ICSI.

So like you guys, I too am starting IVF in January. It's nice to know that there are girls embarking on this jurney fo the first time like me in the new year. Will be good to share our experiences (pariculalry as newbies to all this).

Jane :)

We did a cycle in November, but it got cancelled due to my lack of response from the meds. Following an appt with the FS, he'll increase my dosage. We will start in February b/c we won't make the January cycle (clinic will be closed). GL to you all

Kerbear, I know how you are feeling about IVF. I was so scared when I did it 3 years ago, mainly about the injections, but that part was the easiest I thought! I'm about to do a second cycle in January too, so fingers crossed for us all. It's fantastic news that your DH's swimmers are great, that really helps :) GL hunni!

It's so great to hear there will be a few of you to chat to who are going through it at the same time and others who have been through it already, I don't feel so alone having this place to chat, I know hubby finds it hard to so sometimes I just want to talk about what is going on with me here it helps me so much.
Thank you all, will jeep you posted after my nurse app Wednesday.

Kerbear (and all) wdn't it be nice for a first baby Chrissie next year! Odds are it will happen for at least one of us. I don't have much hope for me as we have been given only a 5% chance of it working (me 40: desperately low OR, DH: 43 poor swimmers). We are being maxed on preparations (on DHEA at present) and dosing - apparently NO chance of overstimulation with me..... higher chance I won't respond and will understand how you feel about your cancelled cycle, RhiChiChi. Like you, Jane we are going straight for ICSI. Blinky76, in a fit of tears one day I offered DH the opportunity for a younger more fertile model which he kindly declined.....know how it feels. Best of luck with your nursing appointment this week kerbear and I am sure the counsellors will help you. Here's to stickies for all of us :)

Fingers crossed for alus gals that 2012 is our year!!!!:clap:

Yeah kashby it would be good, surely one of us has to be lucky. I saw my nurse last week and have everything planned for our first ivf cycle in jan. Must say it's very overwhelming especially cause DH couldn't come cause of work, I am excited about it as well as a bit scared, don't want to get my hopes up though.
Hope everyone else is doing well

I'm so glad I found this forum... Just like you guys I'm so over seeing everyone with babies and kids or others that are pregnant. Even if you can talk to someone about it, no one in my group of friends and family have struggled falling pregnant and having babies. They just don't understand, they keep saying stay positive etc etc, but after 2 years of positivity and every month ending in a BFN it's getting harder and harder.
In the last year we've had check ups and blood tests and more tests and besides the moderate endo that has been successfully removed, there is nothing wrong with my hubbies swimmers or with my hormone levels and ovulation.
After 7 months of ovulation tracking and 2 sets of IUI (one natural, one with meds) we will talk to our FS about IVF. IUI already seemed a big step, especially when using the medication, but I don't know how many more BFN's I can handle before going crazy. I'm really scared of the IVF, but at the same time there is a bigger chance of succeeding than with IUI and hopefully this will bring us what we wish for in 2012...
Good luck everyone that's just started /starting. Keep us posted!

me4ever - :hug: I feel the same and am starting IVF this month too. I had a rough couple of years with all my friends and SIL's hving there babies, it was a joke at one stage cos it seemed ppl where puposefully coming out of the woodwork to tell me they were utd and most with there 2nd! BUT now I just see it as there turn and soon it will be OURS! I had IUI also and at the clinic I had it I ended up paying heaps for it, almost as much out of pocket as if I'd done IVF!! Anyways now I'm goin to Westmead and a different FS which is a LOT nicer and hopefully we'll both be expecting 2012 babies soon! Best of luck!! :goodluck: