Helping kids to talk

My DD is 17 months and makes lots of noise, but isn't very consistent with actual talking. She has come out with some random words (dance, song) but she doesn't repeat them again.

I'm not worried, she is a big babbler and has some words, but was wondering what sort of things i can do to give her the best chance. She was sick last week, and her words have been even less since then. She will point at things to show what she wants, and say yes and no. I have been saying 'you want your drink, here is your drink, yummy drink..' so repeating the thing she wants 3 or 4 times as i give it to her. she never tries to copy the work though. am i doing the right thing, should i do more, or just leave her be?

ta

TBH I’d just let her be. Talk to her just as you normally would (definitely don’t talk to her in baby-talk or anything like that, not that you would). I always have in my head “walk at 1, talk at 2” and of course, lots of variations on that are normal as well. FWIW my DS1 didn’t really talk much at all at 2. When DD was born I think all he could say was Maa, Daa, Cat, things like that. I know he definitely couldn’t say her name. But by the time he was 3 we couldn’t shut him up.

I'd actually keep up the "baby talk" to be honest. If I had my time over I would have worried more about my son's speech and I wish I'd "dumbed down" my talking earlier to help him. He's 3.5 and I'm being told to talk to him in one and two word sentences when possible. I should have been doing that 2 years ago! I'd say things like "Drink! Here it is". Offer lots of clear one word names for things. Then you can add the descriptors like you're doing. "Cup. Blue cup", "Apple. Yummy apple" etc. If she is pointing and using joint attention (look at you, look at the item etc) then I wouldn't stress though.

When I say “baby-talk” I mean that cutesy sort of voice with occasional mispronounced letters. I have noticed my mother sometimes speaking to my kids with that sort of voice and it drives me wild, I hate it, and it’s not recommended for language development. By all means use simple, clear, short sentences.

This website has some good tips: Language development: an amazing journey | Raising Children Network

Books are awesome too - get some rhyming books like Hairy Maclary or Mr McGee. Once she's familiar with the story, leave off the second rhyming word (ie - Out of the gate and off for a walk went Hairy Maclary from Donaldson's Dairy - leaving off the "dairy" for her to say). We found this works a treat!

Yeah, I would just do what you're doing. That's all I do, just talk to them all the time about everything we're doing and DD1 is a chatterbox and DD2 said her first word at 5.5 months. I think there's just sooooo much variation on what's 'normal'. They have a what is called a 'language explosion' around 18 months - 2 yrs. One day she will just all of a sudden 'get it' and start learning heaps of new words every day! It's amazing!

We read lots, and go to rhyme time as well as lots of singing in the car. At the moment if i waited for her to complete the sentence, she would just look at me amusingly. She will sing to songs but its generally just her language. Might get more of the rhyming books out.

She has some words, but that link from Epacris said by 18 months kids use about 50 words, she definitely wouldn't have that many.

I have a MCHN appt at 18 months and will see what she thinks. i get along pretty well with her.

ETA- a few people think she is just going to have an explosion of words (DH, my MUm) cos she understands things, just isn't verbalising in a way that we understand

Yeah, I think my DS1 had about 10 words at 2 years. I remember mentioning it to our GP at a check-up but he wasn’t concerned, there is so much variation.

But like meow’s experience, it can sometimes be hard to know what is normal variation and what is indicative of a potential problem.

My son was the same at around the age of your daughter.

Then at 19 months he started using real words and he hasn't stopped. Every day now is a new word and the new trick of putting them together. It's really amazing to watch.


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gosh my DS had about 3 words at 18months, and mum wasn't one of them.
He babbled too a lot. He could definitely understand and we had signs so him and I got along fine. I was a little worried (DD at the same age could count to 10, recite the alphabet, sings lots of songs, animal noises, colours etc), but just used short sentences a lot, got DD to direct conversation his way etc. About six months ago he started with a few words, and now he does sentences.
Not all kids reach the same milestones at the same time. If there is a cause for concern I'm sure your MCHN will listen.

Your DD sounds a lot like my Moo, the intellect is there but he just doesn't verbalise it. He says maybe a couple of dozen single words and a few little sentences (like "where is it?" and "see you soon") at 2 years old. But I know he understands me and he knows so much more than he actually says. Just yesterday I said something to DH about not having a gold coin for the trolley...up pipes Moo in the back seat with "gold, gold, gold!" Then he wouldn't say it when prompted but today he said it again with a cheeky look on his face :lol: so I feel like he just doesn't feel the need to say things ITMS.

We read heaps, he loves books so we read all through the day. We go to Hey Dee Ho music once a week and I'm always talking to him. I elaborate on general things like instead of truck I say green truck etc. I've always done this with him but he's still not a huge talker. It was worrying me but I've kinda relaxed now that I can see how much knowledge he really has!

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I'd actually keep up the "baby talk" to be honest. If I had my time over I would have worried more about my son's speech and I wish I'd "dumbed down" my talking earlier to help him. He's 3.5 and I'm being told to talk to him in one and two word sentences when possible. I should have been doing that 2 years ago! I'd say things like "Drink! Here it is". Offer lots of clear one word names for things. Then you can add the descriptors like you're doing. "Cup. Blue cup", "Apple. Yummy apple" etc. If she is pointing and using joint attention (look at you, look at the item etc) then I wouldn't stress though.

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My DD2 had speech therapy and her speechie couldn't stress enough how important it was to NOT talk the way they did or talk like a baby to them. Speaking to them in short sentences is fine if they have a problem with comprehension etc, but if they say 'dink' for 'drink' always say 'drink'.

HotI, just keep talking to her all the time. Use words as much as you can. If she tends to point things out to you that she wants, always say what it is and not just give it to her kwim? And reading is wonderful for helping them pick up words as well. So you are doing all the things that will help her eventually gain words. She is still only little and at her age I wouldn't be overly worried unless there were other things as well, like not understanding you or not being able to follow simple instructions etc. If she had trouble in those areas, then I would be alert (not alarmed about it) but as it stands, it sounds like the only thing you're worried about is her lack of words, but give her time and they will come :)

Sounds like you are doing all the right things, I don't think there is much else you could or should be doing. We are at the start of the speech pathology journey (Speech Dyspraxia) and I will say, it is a very involved thing that can require weekly visits and daily exercises... I'd probably see how she is at 2 before pushing too much further as it is very normal for the 'word explosion' to occur around then, at 17mo she definitely has time but really, do what makes you feel comfortable and if that is seeking some medical opinions, do it!

For us, DD didn't start trying to say words before 2 but was doing noises of things (animals, trucks, planes etc); she could (and can) understand complex concepts (her hearing tester [which will be what they look into first should there be a concern] had her partaking in things usually set aside for those of preschool age) so we knew it wasn't to do with a lack of comprehension and that sounds like your DD too which is a good sign, really. The thing that was of concern with us was the way in which she was trying to speak; saying the same word slightly differently every time or being unable to repeat a word she had said again, leaving off consonants at the start or end of a word such as Caaaaa for Cat or Uuuuuck for Truck so those would be the things I would look out for personally rather than worrying too much about a number of words.

I stressed that I had left things so long without doing more (I brought things up with our GP when she was around 2y3m) as she had such a high comprehension I wasn't really concerned with her being less than verbal but our speech pathologist reassured me that things were being addressed at a good time and it definitely hadn't been left too late so I don't think you have to worry too much about seeing how things go for now.

ETA: One other thing maybe worth mentioning though is that if you have to access things through the public system, I have heard you can be looking at long waiting lists so it might be worth thinking about getting things rolling sooner rather than later just to get her name down if it is needed. We had private cover for this sort of thing so from the GP, we were able to get her hearing assesed that same week and then into the speechie a couple of weeks after.

:hug:

I'm another one whose first born never said anything. I remember vivdly being given a speech path referrral. I also remember looking at BB threads and asking friends and deciding that for us, waiting was ok. Now he never shuts up. His speech is excellent. In my mother's group of 6, he and another boy are incredible with their conversations, and the others are less interested in talking so much and yet at 2 he was so far 'behind'. He is still interested in words and asks what things are and how to say things and repeats it and then uses it later.

I know now that he was listening. To EVERYTHING i said. He just didn't have to talk, and didn't feel the need for it. He communicated non-verbally quite adequately for his needs.

Now, is there an off button for him...

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My DD2 had speech therapy and her speechie couldn't stress enough how important it was to NOT talk the way they did or talk like a baby to them. Speaking to them in short sentences is fine if they have a problem with comprehension etc, but if they say 'dink' for 'drink' always say 'drink'.

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Good point- my son has trouble with comprehension so that's why we've had to go back and shorten the sentences. It took us a while to realise he had a speech issue at all as he learns in scripts so he says really long sentences but he doesn't understand the individual words. He was actually saying over 100 words at 18 months so we didn't realise there were problems then.

In my experience, the children not talking at that age generally end up talking- I'd be looking more for her social communication skills which you've already said sound good HotI as you said she points.

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Now, is there an off button for him...

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LOL my DH keeps complaining that he wishes Moo would talk more, I keep saying one day he won't stop and we'll be saying the opposite!

Trillian pretty much said what I was going to say so you can read her post twice and the second time pretend it is me.

Ergh, I have a non-talker too and we've already declined a speechie appointment. He doesn't have a single word, not mum, nothing. He's about 15 months.

He points for things he wants, he scratches at the door to get in or out, comes up to me whining when he's poopy or hungry or thirsty. Poopy is easy to tell, hungry and thirsty are harder to pick, the easy way is to offer him an empty cup and if he lunges at it, he's thirsty. He seems to understand virtually everything but Will. Not. Talk.

HOWEVER he chatters away to his 3yo big sister in what sounds like whale song, lots of squeaks and whistles. The pair of them make exactly the same noises and he copies perfectly all the silly noises she makes. But he will NOT copy us, only her. And she won't talk properly to him. Drives me bonkers that he's so keen on copying her and won't copy us. You hear stories about twins that make up their own language, watching these two its not hard to see how it happens.

Ladies, it's nice to know DS isn't the only 'not so great talker'! He says ma-ma, dada, bub-ba (for his name) and has ooooooodles of noises (for animals, vehicles plus clicks his tongue, smacks his lips etc for other stuff) plus a few sounds (e.g mmmmm is more/milk/yum and lalala means music or singing) but words, not so much! At mum's group, most of the others say 'hi' and 'bye' and there's a few who say quite a few words. DS understands more than most of the others though and does a lot of gesturing to communicate, but just doesn't verbalise. It doesn't 'worry' me as such, but I often wish he'd hurry up and talk! And if one more person says that one day his language will just 'explode' and he'll suddenly get it, I'll scream!!
I think it's all normal, but I'd also like to know DS was on the advanced end of 'normal' rather than the other end, iykwim...

DS is 2 next month and he's not really saying much either. He used to be such a chatterbox and now not so much. I'm not overly concerned, but DH is. Only just recently he's been just coming out with 'Mumumumum' and 'Dadadadad' (of course, when DH isn't around :p) and 'Nanananana' and lastely 'No no no no' (of course) but other than that, he's not a big speaker. All I've been doing is repeating words to him and sentences and he seems to be understanding them, but not being vocal

Is late talking more common in boys? Seems to be more Mums of DSs than DDs replying.

Miss 3's first word was 'cat' when she was maybe 9 or 10 months and words just flowed after that. She really really liked the cat.

Master 1 is also utterly obsessed with the cat but when he sees her he just gets excited and starts giggling. Actually a lot of things get him excited and make him giggle, he's just one of those babies. We keep pointing to ourselves and him and saying people's names and now he thinks that's hilarious and goes around poking everyone in the chest giggling, and then Miss 3 starts poking everyone yelling "POKE POKE POKE" and ... well, its not hard to see why he doesn't talk ...

The cat is almost 6, still doesn't talk, and is not very impressed with small children.

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Is late talking more common in boys? Seems to be more Mums of DSs than DDs replying.

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I have 3 kids - 2 girls and a boy.

From my experience I can say that girls with brown eyes talk extremely early, boys with blue eyes talk late, and girls with green eyes are very grumpy :)

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Is late talking more common in boys? Seems to be more Mums of DSs than DDs replying.

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There is my DD but she does have a speech condition so not sure where that fits in. I wouldn't consider 17 months late for talking though, I think right around 2 is very common :hug:

Oh HotI i don't know if your DH told you but she said GIRLS and was trying to say AVA while she was here the other day.
I think every child is different although the MCHN did tell me later speach is more common in boys but having a look around i think it's suggested that most 18mth old will have roughly a dozen words.
After having your DD and mine together the other day i'd almost give anything that mine spoke a little less ;)

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The cat is almost 6, still doesn't talk, and is not very impressed with small children.

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That cat needs both speech and psycho therapy, immediately!

My son struggled with speech. When he started talking, it took me 2 months to understand "tooty" meant thirsty. All along dh and I have been the only ones who understood him. For the longest time he didn't pronounce consonants on the ends of words.

We have always known his comprehension is excellent, and I have a family history of delayed speech*. We weren't overly worried, but he started trying really hard to pronounce words properly and started stuttering the end consonants, so we finally took him for a hearing test and everything was fine. That's where we've decided to leave it because the fact is his speech is improving every day and he's getting over the stutter really quickly.

But at 17 months he didn't have much to say. Now he's nearly 3 and he tells knock knock jokes, plays with homonyms, makes up his own fairy tales, composes his own songs, and is really amazing.

And now to my point: You need to ask yourself if YOU feel you need to worry about your daughter. Don't compare her with other children or lists of milestones. Every child is an individual and they all focus on different things to learn and develop at their own pace. Perhaps she's busy listening and taking it all in. I think at 17 months old you should keep observing her quietly and not worry too much, just keep talking with her, reading and keep her part of family conversations. And know that she's understanding a lot more than she lets on.


*I didn't talk until the day before my third birthday, my great uncle was 5 before he spoke - my great uncle was also a bonafide genius like Albert Einstein, who also didn't talk until he was 4 or 5, in fact it's a common trait in geniuses. Not that I'm a genius, sadly.


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Jude 07/10/2008 | Lilac 16/06/2011

I think 17 months isn't late. I wouldn't be surprised if 2 years is kinda average.
I wouldn't like to guess how many people tell little white lies to their MCHN, because we are told our LOs should have X number or words by X age. Also, everyone seems to remember that little girl/boy/cousin/nephew who started talking at 12 months. But i don't think it's the norm.

Also, this is my experience - I *think* DS1 may have had more words than i gave him credit for. But because i didn't *get* them or hear them properly, then he didn't get the reaction that he needed, so he probably gave up. My DS2 started using baby words and i was used to hearing them from DS1, so i responded and encouraged and reacted more. But DS1 is no slug now. He just took a lot longer to start than some.

Trillian and Kuaraiza have hit the nail really hard on its head in their post. Major rep points to them!
Im finding that our high frequency words are what DD is really picking up on right now (for example: please, ta, car, juice, Chevy (DS' name) Axel (doggies name), mum, dad, nan, bubby...)
Just keep talking to her :)
xx

With the girls we ask them to use their words when they want something or see something, especially once we know they know what it is called, 'can' do it.
So when the point to their drink, I would just say 'can you use your words?' I would ask them everytime they wanted something. Eventually they got the idea that it was much faster to say the word than to point to what they wanted. verbalising everything helps, like you are doing as well. They will talk in their own time, and I wouldnt be too worried about it right now, but keep on encouraging her. :hug:

I had my MCHN appt and she wasn't concerned at all. Her advice was similar to what you guys said, just keep talking to her and she will be fine. I also discovered i was misinformed :redface: i thought that she had said last time that by 18 months kids usually have 50 words. BUt the 'standard' is 5-10 words at 18 months and 50 words at 2 years! And when we add her words up, she has at least 10. She doesn't use them all the time, but she can when she wants to.

Also, she was home with DH a couple of days this week, and he naturally talks alot more than me, and she seems to be more chatty. So maybe i just need to make more of an effort to keep talking out loud as well.

See she's a talker after all :p by the 'norm' anyway.
She's doing well hun and she did say something new to me at the BB catch-up but i still cannot remember. :wall:
Send her to my house and give yourself a day or two rest, she'll come home and wont shut up - she'd be fighting to get a word in :)

HotI - That's great news about your DD! 5-10 words isn't that much when you think about it. I was also reading that toddlers who are at home one-on-one with an adult tend to have their needs anticipated and met more than say, day caretots or those with lots of siblings, so they may not have the need to talk to express what they want so much. That makes sense to me! ;)

I wonder if they count animal noises and DIY noises (DS does a drill, hammer, screwdriver and saw, complete with actions, lol!). I have also noticed some of the words DS uses are becoming clearer, so that's exciting.

Ugh. I hate the "just talk to them" or "just read to them" lines. Like I never talked and read to my child. Oh that's right, I did. Now we're healing him he's talking so much more and responding to our talking in a much more 'normal' way and it's so nice to see it wasn't me and how I parented him!

Your daughter sounds like she's doing great. Yep 5 to 10 words is the aim at 18 months so she's doing fine :D

HotI, I just picked up on this thread. And I may have missed exactly where you're at with it now so sorry if I've got the wrong end of the stick. It's great that the MCHN wasn't concerned about your LO but neither was mine at the 18 month check a few months ago. Then my GP suggested I take DD1 for a hearing test last week and we found she had some (hopefully) temporary hearing loss due to fluid on her ears. No one else had picked this up and she doesn't have a history of ear infections and her comprehension is incredible. Anyway, I'm so very glad my GP realised that her speech wasn't where it should be and that we should start on the path of looking into it. There's no harm in checking things out. Best case, there's nothing to worry about and if there is, you can get onto it.

I babbled away to DS, talking non-stop, sang a lot - he started talking just to shut me up! To be fair, what sort of toddler wants to hear about how their vegetables gain nutrients from the ground? I did a mix of stating what I was doing and short sentences and talking to him like an adult. And just babbling about what I was thinking, which can be a bit bizarre at times.

Having said that, he was early with basic sounds so early talking wasn't that much of a surprise. I also detest baby talk and refuse to do it (aside from "aren't you gorgeous?"). I hate it when DS's mispronunciations are repeated by my mother and he continues with it. It's a flipping TRAMPoline, not a JUMPoline. Just cos DS got it wrong doesn't mean you have to re-enforce the mistake. How much did you laugh at me as a pre-teen for making these mistakes you never corrected as a young child?

Yeah, I also have issues, maybe I should have said that earlier.

eta - I read my DS Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings before he was 6mo - maybe it's the quality of the book you're reading? But then he didn't sleep without me reading to him and even then it took him a while. We did a lot of Discworld too. I have a friend who speaks well, speaks "adultish" to her children and her son didn't speak til gone age 2: he can speak fine, just decided not to. It isn't always the parenting (as a speech therapist's sister, I have to say it sometimes is!), it's often the child.

I made a bit of a list the other day, of DS's words. I stopped when I got to 20, and there were another 20-odd animal noises etc. Plus all his gestures and sign language is another 20. So now I feel guilty for thinking he wasn't talking 'enough'!

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'Durpry' is a word -it doesn't have to be properly pronounced for it to count as a word, as long as someone else knows what it means, and it's consistent. Is there other stuff he says that you maybe haven't counted as a word?
DS loves his 'doo doo' tubes too - does it with everything that's vaguely cylinder shaped. This morning it was the jar of jam as we were doing the grocery shop! lol

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