In our area and surrounding areas there is currently a Whooping cough outbreak. We are due to have our baby in May 2012 and I don't want our newborn exposed to Whooping cough.
We had a friend who's 7 week old died due to whooping cough and just don't want that to happen to our child.
So would it be unreasonable to ask all visiters if they have had Whooping cough booster and if they haven't turn them away? Not at the door but on the phone when they call. ANd if they turn up then turn them away.
Not unreasonable at all :)
I think that sounds reasonable to me. I asked all grandparents, aunts, uncles and close friends to have the booster well before hand. While I didn't ask others if they had the booster, my friends are all sensible enough not to visit if they are sick at all and also we only let those who we knew had the booster hold DSs.
And can I just ask what HG stands for in your signature???
Not unreasonable to ask, but some people may not agree with your stance. Just as long as you are ok with that.
I agree with this. You can ask, but that is all you can do. You cannot expect them to actually do it. And if they don't you need to respect that.:
It seems fair to me to ask people who haven't got up to date vaccinations to stay away.
I think you are well within your rights to ask people who wish to see the baby to have the booster if that is how you feel. If they don't want to then that is certainly their right, and they can wait until the baby is a bit older before meeting them.
It may offend/upset some people, but i can totally understand your concern if a friend lost their baby to WC. :( If you explain the situation to them they are more likely to understand your motivation to ask.
And in return they should respect that they won't be able to visit the baby. I would simply let people know now (and in light of what happened to your friend's baby I think your concerns are reasonable) and they can choose what they want to do. FWIW we had a whooping cough outbreak locally and I saw first hand 2 children and an adult deal with it. I had the booster as there was no way I wanted myself or my girls to go through that!:
Definitely! :):
I was thinking for those that didn't want to reveal their booster update then I could insist that they wear Dr's masks over their mouths and noses.
HG stands for Hyperemesis Gravidarum Help HER - Hyperemesis Education Research
I'm not fussed if others are not OK with not getting the booster but in light of my GF's 7 week olds death I rekon "no booster, too bad so sad" they'll have to wait till baby is fully immunised which is 6 months if we stick to schedule.
I'm thinking my Baby my rules!
Not unreasonable at all ... if they are parents to a newborn themselves, then the vaccine is free otherwise it is only $40. Thought you might appreciate that info too if you didn't know already :)
Perfectly fine, it's not worth risking your Childs health for the sake of offending a few ppl. Ppl should be understanding anyway. I made everyone in our family get the vaccine.
At the risk of sticking out on my own here, I actually would be offended if someone asked that of me, and I do think it's unreasonable to do so. People may have good reasons why they don't want the booster - actually, they don't even need a good reason - in this country, vaccination is not compulsory.
HOWEVER... I can totally understand where you're coming from, having walked a very difficult journey with your friend. So if that's what you want to do, as the parent of your baby you are perfectly entitled to make that rule. Just be prepared for people to be offended, and work out a response that doesn't inflame the situation eg "I'm sorry you are upset, but please understand after knowing a baby who died from this, it is important to me".
Hope I didn't offend anyone - just my humble opinion!
If I had my time over again I would definately ask family and friends to get the shot. My Son contracted WC at 5 weeks of age. Thankfully he is a happy and healthy 6 month old now but WC is a serious, deadly disease is an infant as you know through the loss of your friend's baby. People may be offended but who cares - if it's what you feel you need to do then that's what you should do.
Not unreasonable at all! My DH,mil,mum,dad and sister all got the booster before dd was born, and I had it once she was born. O didn't ask others, but everyone knows I'm a germaphobe so any sign of even a cold people don't come near my kids. I was more paranoid about drs apptments and shopping centres!
I think it's fine - it's how you feel - your baby!
However if it were me personally, I would sooner miss out on visiting a good friend's baby than have toxins such as formaldehyde and aluminium injected into my blood stream. It could also be particularly confronting to anyone who has watched a child suffer a serious adverse reaction following the pertussis (WC) vaccine. But again - so long as you are aware of this and prepared for people to take their stance you are within your rights to make yours and have yours respected.
The vast majority of those being infected by the whooping cough at present are vaccinated. My niece and nephew are among them. Transmission of pertussis via the pertussis vaccine is also a stated (albeit rare) adverse reaction accepted by the manufacturer of pertussis vaccinations. Whilst this is rare - it can and does occur - usually to those with already compromised immune systems. You may wish to take this into consideration, and ask that people refrain from visiting for a week or 2 after receiving the booster shot.
Make sure also that they know that the vaccine takes a few weeks before it's considered effective. I didn't know this, but thankfully I harassed (in a loving way!) my DH a month before DD was due so he was covered in time!
At present I'm a non-vaccinater for a few reasons, but if I were your friend and you asked me to either get the booster or not see the baby, I wouldn't take offence. I almost died getting the WC vaccine so I would decline the booster, but I would respect your decision and your stance. Of course I would be sad that I didn't get to visit your newborn, but I wouldn't be offended.
One important thing to remember though is that one of the main strains of WC going around at the moment is not protected by the vaccine. So vaccinated people are just as likely to get it as non-vaccinated people. My two step sons (and possibly my DH) got whooping cough about a year ago. All three are "fully" vaccinated. My son and I were the only two in the house not to get it, and we are the only two not vaccinated against it.
i would respect ur decision its ur baby
Isn't the whooping cough booster the same as if you got the tetanus booster? (usually it has diphtheria, tetanus and whooping cough all rolled into one).
This is very important to remember! Also no vaccine is 100%. So even if everyone you know is fully vaxed, if they are sick, you still need to be careful. You shouldn't be visiting a new baby when you're unwell vaxed or not. Have you looked into how WC is contracted? It's also not as easy to pick up as just one cough. You need to spend a good few hours with someone who has WC to contract it. So you don't need to worry about your bubba catching it from a passer by at the shops or anything like that. So just don't be lulled into a false sense of security that if someone is vaxed that they are100% protected. Play it safe and I would ask anyone who is sick to stay away from bub. Un-vaccinated people visiting my baby would not be an issue to me, unless they were sick. The same way that I wouldn't want a fully vaccinated person who was sick visiting.:
It is your baby so you have the right to do whatever you think is best for your baby! If someone objects, bad luck for them.
As per above posts re effectiveness even if you're vaxed but I think its better to say you're worried about whooping cough at the moment and ask if they are up to date with it, rather then tell them they have to get it if they want to see the baby. Telling people to get something which may or may not have health risks or may or may not work.... its something that will effect their body. Its like a husband telling his wife to have a c/s, they need to make the choice about whats being done to them rather than be told, if you know what I mean? Just my two cents.
That's an awful thing to say. :(:
The things we have to do to keep our children safe from disease are quite amazing.
Thanks for all your thoughts.
I was worried this would turn into a anti or pro vaccination thing and I am thrilled it hasn't. Phew! It's simply whats right for our family thing and I appreciate your input greatly. I don't want to ruffle too many feathers. I'm not a feather ruffler really I'm a sit on it an stewer so your input has been great for me.
Some terrific points have been raised. Thank you.
I am aware that the current strain of WC in our area is not the strain covered under vaccination dash it.
Kelly I am only taking that stance with one person whom I shal not name and really cause I know she will refuse to stay away till bubs is fully vacc even if she herself is sick. Darn relatives can't pick em.
Zilly I have no idea, good question for the GP I think.
Mylita thats awful. Pleased your ok now.
I know this is an old post but yes I wish I had asked people not to visit if they where not vaccinated. My 3&1/2 year old has it ( they now recommend boosters from 3&1/2 as they are seeing lots of kids this age get it) and my baby tested positive at 7 weeks. I had him vaccinated at six weeks and that combined with early detection may very well have saved his life. They people that passed it on to him had no signs or symptoms until a week after visiting and it came from the mother who did not get booster shots. She had no idea than immunity wears off over the years. This is a deadly disease in babies under six months. I had no real idea about it until the specialist told me my baby would most likely die from it. I spent the worst 3 weeks of my life waiting for the worst to happen. It IS a very contagious disease that transfers though sneezing, coughing or even laughing in someones direction so DO be alarmed by the dangers if it.
I can completely understand where you are coming from but I would be offended. I would feel like you didn't trust me to stay away if i was sick. My SIL asked us to get a booster before my niece was born knowing that we are non-vac people and i said no and she accepted our choice and didn't stop us seeing bubs tho we did stay away for a month when we all were sick.
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Offended friend or relative is better than a dead baby.
Zap, I think everyone has the right to take it personally and be offended if they want. LIke another poster said, the WC vaccine is virtually useless, so people are essentially asking other people to be 'vaccinated' when 1, the vaccine is so ineffective now that it's likely to not work. 2, that the current vaccine does not protect against ALL mutations of WC and it's entirely possible that most people will get the one that ISN'T preventable and 3, Vaccines breed complacency. Someone can still have the shot, turn up at your doorstep ready to hold baby and STILL have WC but they don'think that they can possibly have WC because they had the shot kwim?
You've had an experience where it could have ended up bad and that is clouding your opinion on it. I prefer to think rationally and logically and look at the stats on this one. My SIL expected all of us to get boosters just recently for when her next baby is born and I told her flat out no, I had the brains to keep us away if we were sick and told her about the current stats on the vaccine anyway. To a newborn, ANY illness can be deadly so to me, its a logic fail to make people get the WC vaccine/booster when there are other things just as deadly that CAN'T be vaccinated against. I fully respect that you have every right to ask, but you have to respect that people may say no.
I don't ask for people to get booster shots for anything but I also don't have a problem asking if they have been sick recently or if someone turns up at my door with a sniffle, turning them away.I do live in an area that has a high rate of WC so I am anal about who comes over and who handles my baby ... just because they visit does not entitle them to touch my child :D
No vax is 100% effective, they are not designed to offer 100% immunity...more to lessen the severity of an illness IF it was to be contracted. I choose to be vaxed and to vax my kids but I would/could not expect others to the same. Nor the other person should expect tobeallowedint he door if they have a runny nose ;)
Nae x
Trillian - I don't think Zap is saying that someone can't be offended by her asking, but that she'd much prefer to offend someone than to have a sick child.:
She can also respect that people have the right to say no about getting a booster, but then they have to respect that she can prevent them having contact with her child(ren) if they do say no, as respect has to go both ways.
Of course Kimbles! I've already said that this is a two way thing :) Preferring to offend someone than have a 'dead' baby is where Zap draws her line to speak, which is perfectly fine, but its not as simple as just one vacination and thats the point a few of us are trying to make.
Your baby you can do whatever you like. My only concern with the original post is that there is so much more chance of picking it up in the community. You may very well stop a grandparent visiting for SIX months and get it from the shops or GPs office :(
Kimbles, it is her baby and she can do whatever she feels is right to protect her baby, no one is arguing that. People just need to keep in mind that even if fully vaccinated you are not 100% safe. If a vaxed person has been unwell at all even just a slight sniffle, they need to stay away from new babies, they may have the "less severe" case of w/c, but can still pass it on to the new bub and it may not be so "less severe" when the baby gets it. I offended many people with "just a little bit of a cold" when I wouldn't let them visit, vaxed or not. So if people are offended by being asked to have a booster, bad luck for them, but they do have the right to say no. If someone is offended for being refused a visit because they're sick that's also bad luck for them.:
Thanks Kimbles you worded it much better than I did!
I have no doubt people would get offended if they chose not to vax and I stuck the needle in their arm! But that's not what I'm saying. I am simply saying tough if theyre offended!
Plenty of inconsiderate "friends" came around with kids and their colds when my first boys where born and they spent the first six months with every common bug under the sun! One of them needed surgery at four months for severe Mastoiditis after a cold that turned into a ear infection which started eating away at the bone behind his ear. Not nice.
People thought I was over the top which I would see someone near us with the sniffles!
And some of you are right in saying the wc vax is not 100% my 3&1/2 (vaxed) gave it to my then 7 week old. New research is now recommended 4 year old boosters now be brought back to 3&1/2 as that's where lots of the outbreaks are occurring.
And yes my judgement IS clouded as I am sure many of yours would be if you could see first hand what this deadly disease does.
I chose to Vax with more passion then ever before ... But I do respect others right not to.
Vaccinated or not, people still turn up even when there's illness, I know this by experience, but it wasn't WC my newborn contracted. These were the people who were already 'offended' that I wouldn't let them have holds of my newborn (I have my own ideas on attachment and optimising breastfeeding establishment that most people refuse to understand because they prefer to think of their own feelings of being offended than the reasons I implement these 'rules' :rolleyes:) and then they knowingly brought a sick child along. They had only had a newborn the year before, so it's not like they were far removed from that reality.
To assume people will be 'sensible' is to open yourself up to illness, so you just have to put some rules into place. People feel entitled to visit newborns, as if it's the most critical time to meet the new child, without considering that the most important thing for that family is to think of their family and that, all going well, they will get their chance to meet the child later on, when that critical 4 weeks is over and get to know the child as he or she grows.
It's not a popular view that I have, and the selfishness that comes out when you try to implement these boundaries astounds me. DP, being further removed from those protective hormones racing around my body, was so resentful of having the job to tell people what I wanted (or didn't want), and I ended up being 'the bad guy' because he didn't have the cojones to protect us the first or second time that I wanted a space between my babies and everyone visiting.
That said, I did have friends who sucked it up and waited till the sickness in their households had passed before coming.
The way I see it, that newborn stage, first couple of weeks at least, is a mother's privilege - she's worked damned hard to just get that time between her and her baby without feeling the social pressure to share (and I realise there are many mothers who don't think like this and are happy to pass around their new baby, I'm just one of many others who hate the idea of it) and if anyone else wants to hold a newborn they have to work for it by having their own baby. If they are someone who HAS had their own babies, or had an opportunity to hold someone else's newborn, then they have had their chance and they just simply have no natural right to access someone's else's newborn to satisfy their own urges. It's not important to the newborn (far from it!) and it doesn't help the mother to do her mothering. It only helps the person wanting a hold or a close visit and social expectations that meeting a new newborn makes that person important in your life - there are so many other ways to be important to a new family (meals, cleaning, washing, school runs for older children, shopping...it's a huge list of possibilities!)
A VERY unpopular view, and one that I know is secretly shared by heaps of new mums!
I think you'd be better off asking anyone who is not well, or whose kids are not well, to stay away, rather than their vax status. Mostly because being vaxed does not mean you can't catch it, it just limits the chances, and secondly, as someone else said, you're more likely to get it in the general community who you can't screen. My new baby will be less than a month old when DD1 goes back to school next year - I can't not take DD1 to school and I can't possibly check that every child and parent who is at school has had their vax! I can't also leave the new baby at home by herself, or somehow organise to have DP drop DD1 off until she's six months old. So I have to limit exposure - I'll be wearing her in a sling and I won't be handing her around. And I'll ask that no one with any symptoms of illness visit us (plus, we're having her at home, so we have more control over who comes and who doesn't).
But DP and I haven't had booster shots for years and we are vax-ers. My DD has had all of hers. I am currently pg, so I couldn't even go and get a booster, even if I wanted to, to come and visit you. I'm pretty sure in my recent blood tests I still have immunity for WC, since I do for everything else, but I'm not 100% sure. So would I be one of those ppl you exclude?
I don't think it's as simple as who's had a booster and who hasn't. I just don't want you to have to fight with everyone and then find you're not as well protected as you thought anyway. No offence intended!
I'll be sticking with the "don't come near us if you have an illness". And that's seeing anyone in our household, not just the baby!
Mayaness - agreed especially on the imprinting!!
Jennifer13 - slings are a great way to ward off unwanted touching etc when you are out!!