RSVP for a child's party. How long does it take you?

DS1 is having a birthday party next Saturday. He took his invitations to school on Monday and handed them out (except to the kids who were away but everyone had their invitation by yesterday).
So far I have only heard back from one Mum and one boy has told DS1 he probably won't come because he thinks it might be the weekend he is in Melbourne. I don't expect everyone to be in a rush to RSVP but I am wondering how long it generally takes people to reply.

This is the first time I have had a party for that I have let him choose his own guests. Usually it's just a picnic/BBQ with the cousins and grandparents etc. I'm a total novice to children's birthday parties.

ETA - was 10am on a Saturday a really dumb time? The play center only had that and 3pm available and I thought that morning was better than afternoon because they would be fresher.

I normally reply straight away otherwise I forget! A lot of people do things Saturday mornings eg swimming etc but if that's the case I would still expect a reply either way.

I usually leave it till the day they have put on the invite. But then there will be some who just wont reply at all and still show up. I've done a couple for the girls and you just have to cater for the amount you've invited JIC.

It depends on how well I know them and whether they give the invite directly to myself or to the kids. I normally RSVP as soon as I can just to get it out of the way, however from previous experiences with my own kids parties, there are a mix of those that will reply early or late or not at all... My DD1's party is this Sunday and I was getting RSVP's from when I handed them out a couple of weeks ago right up until the day after the RSVP date... even now a couple of parents aren't sure if they're bring the kids or not so we plan for 22 and see how we go on the day.

I reply to most things straight away, so it goes into the diary and it's "done" - I just need to turn up with a gift and a smile :)

That being said, I have heard lots of negative feedback from all different quadrants lately about seriously crappola attitutes to RSVPing lately - for everything from parties to group events to weddings even!! Eg: a girlfriend recently had to ring 10 or so guests to her wedding (including two cousins!!) to find out whether people were coming or not, because she had to finalise the seating charts for the reception venue. The invitations had gone out almost 3 months in advance, and 2 weeks before the wedding, she was still waiting on a bunch of replies ...

And I've heard very similar things for kids parties, housewarmings, and all sorts of other invitation based events ...

I think it's really rude, but it sounds like you're experiencing the same thing ...

And no, I don't think 10am is a silly time. I actually think it's better than a 12noon thing, because the family can still have the afternoon free for their usual activities :)

I like to reply asap, but hubby leaves it to the RSVP date.

I usually have the rsvp date 1 week maybe a tad longerbefore the actual date so I can chase up those Ihave not received x

I usually reply straight away.

Saturdays are (in my experience) harder for some families to attend parties because of extra activities like swimming, dance, sport etc.

I reply straight away but most of my friends and family are notorious for not RSVPing I always have to chase them up when it's at a restaurant.

I usually take as long as it takes to check we're not already booked then send a text...which could be straightaway, or at worst a few days to check with XP on stuff involving DD.

But I can second Peanutter on the prevalence of people who don't rsvp - I was one of those brides that had to call a bunch of people on the rsvp date with a "umm, so you coming or not?"

I usually reply within a couple of days of getting the invite otherwise I forget.

I usually reply ASAP. And I think that's a pretty good time for a saturday?

My SIL on the other hand likes to not RSVP at all.... and then either does or doesn't rock up *opens can of worms* XD

Thanks for replying everyone. I just want it to be perfect for him so I'm kind of freaking about the no RSVP's because I always RSVP in a day or so if I can.
I don't really know any of the parents because I let him invite his friends and I've never even seen some of them because their kids arrive at school early and go to after school care.
Now i wish I knew the parents in his class better. He's such an awesome kid, he deserves better than a total social retard for a Mum :(

I'm blaming FB for people who don't RSVP. Maybe is not an acceptable reply unless you're 37+ weeks pregnant or on a transplant waiting list.

if i know the person well or see them often, i'll usually rsvp straight away but if don't know them so well, i may leave it till closer to the rsvp date because i'm usually in a rush & think 'i'll do that later' but always by the rsvp date. did you give them a cut off date for rsvps?

i don't think 10am saturday is necessarily a bad time (although i don't have school age children so dunno what their activities might be like?) but if DS had (for eg) his swimming, i'd probably skip it that week so he could go to a friend's party or would let you know that we might be a little late. it also leaves the afternoon free for people so if there was something they needed to get done, they can still do it!

and you're not a total social retard!

definitely not a social retard!

i tend to RSVP early for most things (just so i dont' forget) - having said that, there are some things i have left til the last minute to RSVP. and, as much as you hate the idea of Maybe as a response, i've done it! my cousins DD was having her first birthday, i had surgery coming up "sometime in the next couple of months" so i had to RSVP as a maybe. when it came to the week of the party, i'd had the surgery and simply wasn't up to making the trip to Melbourne, so i had to say no at the last minute. I sent DD with her Granma though.

those sort of circs are pretty rare though (or i'd hope they are!)

i think 10am is a great time - actually, i don't think any time is really "bad" (unless it's late at night or 8am or something!) - we always have DD's "events" (for want of a better word) in the mid afternoon to allow for those travelling (some family have a 2 hour trip, god parents and other family travel up to five hours) and because she has a nap at lunch time so is bright and fresh mid arvo. you have to schedule what works for your family - if that is the time that is most appropriate for you and yours, that's the time you schedule it. if people can make it, they will

Kameron handed out his invites 3 weeks ago, cause he wants a fancy dress party. We have had a RSVP from 1 child, apart from my usual group. So I am either expecting 1 child to bash a pinata or a pile of kids whose parents can't be bothered RSVPing. His party is this Saturday too, and because I don't know the parents I can't chase them up.

You are so NOT a social retard!

You sound like you are going through what I am! I've organised the first party for DS1 (I think is similar age to yours?) and DS2 combined with their school/kinder friends. I've only ever organised parties with our own friends and family before! I've also made it for a Saturday morning, but at 10:30am haha! It's a Macca's party so I don't have to have my own house trashed ;). We gave 12 invites out on Tuesday morning and have had two RSVPs so far. I'll just chase people up if I don't hear from them I guess...

Hope it works out well and lots of kids can come!!

you're not a social retard!

Although most of the people on here have said they respond fairly quickly, it is only a snap shot of people. I honestly believe that the vast majority of people DON'T RSVP in a suitable time frame (if at all). Now I'm about to make a horrible generalization, but it seems that people are far too self absorbed these days to think about the work and planning that people have to do in order for their child to attend another child's birthday and so therefore couldn't be assed to take 15 seconds out of their day to exhibit the politeness required to actually notify another equally busy adult whether or not their child can attend the party! It drives me MENTAL! Sorry. But I really don't think it is that hard to demonstrate to your (their) child how to be a socially responsible and polite human being by informing someone whether or not you will attend something.

*demounts soap box*

Kat and Onyx, I hope both your boys have awesome parties.

MG

Sometimes straight away, but more often around the RSVP date. Often I try to talk to the mum directly after school if I see her, so it is just whenever that happens.

As far as I am concerned if you need or want people to reply before the RSVP date, then make the date earlier. I always thought it was a reply by, not reply a week before this date.

Also don't always blame the parent, only last month I was handed an invite at 7pm Saturday night for a party on the Sunday :wall:

For my boy's birthday parties I invite their whole class as well as my girlfriends and their kids. I never have any idea who RSVPs or not.

I just buy a whackload of junk food and feed them all party pies and sausage rolls, ****tail franks, chips, cheezels, chocolate and lollies. And then cake. And to drink, they have red or green cordial.

Our parties start at 11.30 and finish at 1pm. They spend an hour eaten and mucking around. Cake is at 12.30.

The adults, who are welcome to stay, go through 3-4 bottles of French champagne, pate, cheese, smoked salmon and chicken.

After cake we play ball games. Culminating in poison ball.

Because it's hilarious for ****ed adults to throw balls at kids they don't like.

Sorry, back to topic. I'd RSVP straight away. I have received a number of calls from parents looking for RSVPs when XH was supposed to do it. He doesn't. So I chase him for it.

I guess it's pretty individual.

:

---

For my boy's birthday parties I invite their whole class as well as my girlfriends and their kids. I never have any idea who RSVPs or not.

I just buy a whackload of junk food and feed them all party pies and sausage rolls, ****tail franks, chips, cheezels, chocolate and lollies. And then cake. And to drink, they have red or green cordial.

Our parties start at 11.30 and finish at 1pm. They spend an hour eaten and mucking around. Cake is at 12.30.

The adults, who are welcome to stay, go through 3-4 bottles of French champagne, pate, cheese, smoked salmon and chicken.

After cake we play ball games. Culminating in poison ball.

Because it's hilarious for ****ed adults to throw balls at kids they don't like.
.

---

I want to come to your kids parties!


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

It didn't even occur to me to put an RSVP date. I stupidly assumed that people would just check their diaries and get back to me :doh:
It's at a play center because we might be moving that weekend and I can't run a kid's party and removalists.
Just so long as enough kids show up to make it a party I'll be ok but if they're not coming I need to know so I can invite some cousins etc.

And Div, you can organise a kid's party for me for my 40th. I demand a jumpy castle lol.

I tend to do it as soon as I get the invite out of the school bag so I know it's done. Having said that I forgot last week and the poor mum had to SMS me to ask if dd was going. How terrible am I! And I have also had to just cater for ones that don't RSVP to the kids parties we have had. Nothing worse than a kid showing up and not getting a go a pass the parcel or something. Good luck hun.

This is the exact reason I didn't want to host a party for DD2 when the only little people she knows are at childcare and I have no way of chasing people for RSVPs when I don't know their names/phone numbers/emails.

Did you put RSVP on there and no date or did you not put RSVP at all?

ATM I get super-excited whenever DD1 gets invited to a party so I RSVP straightaway - that may change when her party scene really ramps up :)

I put RSVP with my contact details but no date.

Well, that's definitely better than nothing!

Can you do some digging? Ask the parents you do know and/or ask party boy to remind his friends (I'm sure he has anyway).

Seems that Friday is the day for RSVP's in the ACT. We have 4 attendees now plus the birthday boy and his brother. That's a party isn't it?

A bit OT. But texting an RSVP? I've always rung but a text is ok? Because I have a bit of a phone phobia so I'm happy if texting is ok.

:

---

A bit OT. But texting an RSVP? I've always rung but a text is ok? Because I have a bit of a phone phobia so I'm happy if texting is ok.

---

I tend to text rsvp's and also receive a lot of rsvp's that way - tends to be a bit the norm nowadays.:)

i text but i'm not a big one for talking on the phone (despite spending hours at a time on the phone as a teenager!), and i figure once people have children it's sometimes hard to find a convenient time so i just end up texting!

This is why I love our school. We have such a close nit community that I'd just walk straight up to the parent and ask "Did you get xyz's invitation" or better yet call them via the school phone list.

In saying that...

I am the parent you all hate. When I get birthday invites they get lost, or jammed on the fridge with everything else and because I have this huge phone phobia and I'm always worried about calling at the wrong time if it's someone I don't know I tend to forget because when I go to call it's not a good time (ie. 8:30pm at night). I now generally RSVP via note form to school to the birthday child. As this way I don't freak out over interrupting.

I'm a texter. Or email. Makes it easier because you can check names off later, where if someone tells me verbally I could easily forget.

I think text RSVP is ok.

For DS2 I could just talk to the parents and we have a list too so I could email or ring them but for DS1's class we don't have a list and I don't seem to know the parents as well. Maybe it's something to do with starting late in the year when they had all introduced themselves etc *shrug*

Don't worry, I'm learning that you tend to click with one child's year but not necessarily all iykwim? My gf's are telling me the same. You are NOT a social retard btw.

Have received text rsvp's as well. Thought it was odd at first, but ok with it now, no different to leaving a message on the answering machine.

I have a big fear of pronouncing the child's name wrong, especially with the kids from childcare, as I often have not "heard" their name, so that can make me reluctant to call straight away. Bit easier with primary school as I can ask DD1 how to say their name.

I get the invite, look at the calendar and then rsvp :)

I like texted rsvps as I then have all their numbers in case plans change at the last minute.

Glad to hear some finally replied Chloe. I got an RSVP via facebook last night, well not officially. Well my nephew said "Looking forward to my little cousins party tomorrow" and then there was a reply to it from some chick saying "is that Camerons" my nephew replied with "yeah are you going" and this chick replies back "nah xxxx can't make it" The chick was the invited child's older sister. So if I hadn't of happened to be on FB at the time I'd be none the wiser.

I have not had any sort of RSVP from this child at all.

I tracked down a couple of parents today so now we have another 3 yes's and one of the kids says he will be there because it's his week with his Mum which makes me wonder if she knows about it - I've got him down as a yes. If he's a no show the play center will give me a voucher for him so it's not a total loss.