BFP? BFN? Find out tomorrow!!
Well, its the night before my DH and I find out our result.
This two week wait has been tricky. I think its has helped staying really busy with work though and taking time out to just do fun stuff - walking my gorgeous dog, meeting up with friends, reading a good book! I've had days where I could swear that I have felt pregnant, and then days when I am sure it hasn't worked! Up and down, hopeful and then hopeless, excited and then scared, consumed with thinking about it and then totally detached from it all.
I'm really surprised with myself. I thought, this week for sure, I would have been buying home pregnancy tests so anxious to know. But I haven't. I think I'm at this point where I almost don't want to know. Its as if its easier to be waiting because there's hope. There's a "maybe it did work".
I feel so selfish because when I think about it not working, I think about how we have one more chance (one more embryo) before I havto go through it all again. All the injections and egg collection, transfer. I didn't find any of it particularly easy or comfortable and I went on such an emotional journey. I didn't feel myself for a good fortnight. I had a week off between the egg collectiona nd the transfer partly because I was in pain, I had terrible cramping. And partly because I just wasn't functioning. I couldn't have a single thought without bursting into tears.
I havn't fully allowed myself to really think about either result. I just haven't been able to go there. I don't know how to prepare for something like this. Regardless of that, I know that if we don't gte our BFP then its ok. Thing's will be ok. I'll be ok and my DH, we'll be ok. We will try again with our little embie on ice and do what we have done from the very beginning of this journey - stay hopeful!
Veronica 24:pray::crossfingers::pray:
