Here I am again

Today was my NT scan. It was supposed to be one of the happiest days of my life. I woke up happy (and sick from m/s) because today was the day I could finally relax. I was 12 weeks and was so happy to be wearing maternity clothes. I loved my newly formed baby bump. We had decided to take the boys to our scan and show them their new baby brother or sister for the first time. DH and I were overjoyed when we saw our baby was healthy and kicking at our 10 week scan less than two weeks ago. The heartbeat was so strong, just like galloping horses, we thought everything would be ok from there on.

As we went into the room, I felt a bit nervous, but assumed it was because Id had bad news so many times before, but I didn't think anything was actually wrong...but it was. The scan showed a perfectly formed, very still little baby that measured just three days behind expected gestation. I thought the baby was just sleeping.

I was then offered an internal scan and the news was confirmed. My baby died 3 days ago. My Dr was informed and I was told to go home and wait until Monday when my Dr would advise me the next steps. No counselling, no Im sorry for your loss, nothing.

So here I am, back here left to deal with the reality of four miscarriages within 15 months. I am not strong enough to deal with another loss. I can't do it. How do I process this when I am absolutely hysterical. How do I cope when I can't even breathe without feeling pain in every part of my body? How do I let go again? I loved my baby so much. I could do it the first two times, but then the third took me to a place I never want to revisit. I can't do this... not now, not again. Im too broken...

Oh my hun that is so not fair and my heart broke just reading the title of this thread. I am so so so sorry. :grouphug:

oh no, no, no Diamond girl, that is just too sad, you poor darling :comfort:

:( I'm so sorry :comfort:

Oh, Diamond Girl. :(

I'm so sorry hun :hug: :hug:

So sorry hun, my heart breaks for you.

Regards,
Dianne

I'm so sorry :(

I'm so sorry DG, so sorry for your loss of your precious bub, for having to go through this again.
Biggest of hugs, xox

I'm so sorry :comfort:

I'm so so sorry. This is just not fair :(

No advice just gentle :hug:

I hope you're ok now. You can still do it.

I am so sorry honey :(

I am so sorry. I don't know what to say x

I'm so sorry :(

I am so so sorry :hug:

How devastating. Be kind to yourself xx


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The warmest of hugs for you and your family. I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. Take care.

:hug: i'm sorry.

I am so so very sorry for your loss :comfort::grouphug:

Sending you as much love as I can xoxo


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I'm so very sorry :hug:

I am so so sorry DG. My heart has broken reading your story. No one should ever have to endure such pain and heartbreak hun :comfort:

Sending you strength and healing. Thinking of you lots :hug:

I'm so sorry DG... My heart breaks for you. Please be kind to yourself xxxxxx

I'm so very sorry that you're having to go through this again. Thinking of you xx

You shouldn't have had to go through that. I am so sorry for your loss. Please know that all the people who have read your story will be thinking of you and your angel. You are right, it's not fair and you shouldn't have to go through this again. xxx

Oh honey I'm so so sorry that you are going through this again. It's just not fair :(

So sorry this has happened again.

DiamondGirl, I am so very sorry. I couldn't begin to imagine how you must feel. Huge :hug: coming your way xx

I am so deeply sorry DG. My thoughts are with you at this heartbreaking time

I'm so sorry xo

:comfort: Im so sorry :hug:

I'm so sorry, it's just not fair :hug:

Oh DG hun, I'm so very sorry :hug::hug::hug:

I am so sorry, there are no other words really, may you and your DH help one another through the heartbreak :hug: be kind to yourself xo

I'm so sorry :(

I'm so so sorry. It's not fair. Massive hugs. :hug:

xoxoxox

Im so sorry for your loss xox :comfort: :hug:

Oh DG, my heart is breaking for you :( I am so so sorry that this is happening again. Words just arent enough :comfort:

im so sad for you. im send you a big beautiful cyber hug.

DG if there were only words that could bring you comfort at this time but I know there's not. I'm so sorry & I hope your family can bring you the peace you need to get through this.
Take care x