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I'm just wondering what the best way is to protect yourself from a person who drains your energy.
One of those people who make you feel like they are literally sucking the life out of you and once you leave their company you feel exhausted and drained.
I'm living with this person and I'm struggling.
1 of my friends told me every day when she woke up and got up she would imagine a sleeping bag around her and she would zip it up to protect her.
Meditation, yoga, walking in the park, swimming, doing stuff every day to cleanse and rebuild your energy will help. But do you really want to continue living in this sort of situation?
2 year olds are supposed to drain your energy. If it isn't the 2yo, I cut the person out my life. Including people I have lived with. (At the time, I just limited contact and imagined myself in the high tower of a fortress where they couldn't get to me and wasted their energy trying to find a way in.)
hehe although the two year old is a handful it's not her. Mother in Law.
I've cut her out as much as I am able to but just being within the house itself is very oppressing.
I'm going to try visualise the tower. Thank you :)
With me it was my mother, so I really hear your pain. Is there any way you can not live with her? Cos I know there's no way I'd go back to living with my mother. Just staying with her for a couple of weeks is bad enough. Even when she's out the house, it still reeks of her.
My immediate feeling about zipping up the bag is not a good one. Got an immediate tightness in my throat.
I don't want to continue living in the same house but unfortunately, for now, this is how it is.
Probably sounds really weird but I feel like she has made me sleep for a long time but now I am waking up again.
Yes, that's exactly it. Reeks of her and her mother also, who is here.:
I feel like they are sustaining themselves through me.
There is a chance she could be gone around Christmas but I don't wish to ..... can't think of the word ... just need to take it as it comes.
How much longer is it going to last for? A countdown can be VERY therapeutic. Get an end-date ASAP.
eta- OK, if you don't want to get your hopes up... is it them living with you? Why can't you kick them out? Cos I would happily change the locks on the 1st of January if my mother had invited herself in and was staying forever and I knew she may leave at Christmas.
It's quite complicated but it's their house. Mother in law and her mother. They were not supposed to be here but she hasn't been able to relinquish control.
Essentially we're waiting them out and things have come to align so that the time is right for them to go. She is stalling.
I think I remember reading something about this before, but not all the details. Could be someone else though.
If she's not willing to move out, I'd be renting somewhere else. Give her a month's notice and find somewhere you can go in the new year. I know it won't be as good for you financially, but emotionally you need it. It isn't on promising something then flat out not doing it and making it harder for the other person. (Can you hear me, mother?)
I have mentioned it before, while ago, probably the previous time I was in this situation. We did move out and then DH talked me into coming back.
You're exactly right.
I'm going to focus on the tower and sending her energy where it belongs.
White light, quartz, amethyst, smudge.
I like to visualize a sword made of white light cutting off the threads attaching them to me and maybe an armor deflecting further attachment.
GL, it must suck.
^ this. Imagining you are connected to her with strings at your head & your heart & then visualise each connection being broken and watch her disappear as you set yourself free. And also smudging sage when she is gone to cleanse your house from her negative energy is a must!:
All the best
Sent from my iPhone more than likely while I should be doing something else!
yep agree with this, I would also be getting an onyx or hematite necklace and wearing it all the time, if I couldn't find a necklace then I would put a tumblestones in my bra.:
Hope you can find a solution sooner rather then later :hug:
Thank you all :)
I like the idea of a white light sword, appeals to the fantasy geek in me :) I will try it. I lay in bed last night and visualised myself in the tower, surrounding it with white light. I must have fallen asleep and I dreamt that the energy, one black, one murky green seeped in through the cracks in the stone. I will keep at it. I feel like I am on the right path.
Excuse my ignorance but what's smudging?
I've been wearing an amber and rose quartz necklace, it's made a big difference in me being more self sure.
I have a amethyst, moonstone and lapis luzuli necklace coming and something with Malachite.
Is it best to only wear one sort of stone/crystal at a time or can you wear many?
your dream is very accurate (and hardly surprising :D ) and with practice you will be able to keep them out and minimise any issues. I would also be putting a white protective bubble around your DD's and DH.
Smudging (generally with white sage) is basically burning it and letting the smoke clense the air, you let the smoke fill all the cracks of the house. This can also be done by clapping, incense... the intent is what is important, keeping the idea that you are clearing the negative energies from the house and filling it with light.
In regards to the stone combination, I think depending on the qualities of the stone it is possible to wear too many at once but it is more from the perspective that some stones will unblock energies and bring things up and if it is done all at once it can become too much. In saying that amber is great at drawing away negative energies, rose quartz is great for unconditional love so they are definitely a great combination. Amethyst is also a clenser, moonstone is good for harmonising your emtions so again I think they are great. Lapiz is good for communication, it can be very strong but I think it's a great combination with moonstone and amethyst. Malachite can also be strong but mixed with a stone like rose quartz can soften it's energies. This is of course just a brief explanation of thier qualities and if you google them you will get a lot more information. Make sure you clense them when you recieve them and clense them regularly when you have them to remove the negative energy that is around you. So I don't think you will have a problem with what you have.
I regularly wear 3 different rings with different stones (star of ruby, amber and prehnite) as well as my amethyst and amber necklace.
I mention onxy and hematite cause they tend to absorb negative energy, the grey/silver lining of hematite can act like a shield for instance. Obsidian is another good own for absorbing negative energy. If you are dealing with verbal abuse (or any kind of violence) then Jett is good for transmuting that energy so it doesn't effect you as much.
Thank you Kelebek :)
So how would I go about cleansing them?
I didn't do that with the one I am wearing now.
There are a few different methods.
You can wash it in salt water (some crystals don't like to be immersed in water so check who you got them from), you can let clean filtered water run over it, you can leave it in the sunshine and or moonlight (again sunlight can cause some crystals like ameythyst and citrine to fade if left for a long time) to clean them. You can also smudge them with smoke as well. The most important thing I feel is the intent, that from this 'ritual' you are removing any negative energy and clensing it.
I do the following. I hold the peice in my hand, imagine the golden white light coming down from above and surrounding me, I imagine it going into the peice and say I ask that all negative energy and lower energy attached to this piece be removed and sent to the ether where it can hurt nothing and no-one, I ask that it be filled with golden white light, I asked that it be clensed... all the time imagining it filled with white light so that it glows.
I was also thinking cause circumstances are that you are living with them that when you are feeling more protected that you could send them unconditional love, not from you but from source, god, gaia or whatever you believe in. So hopefuly they won't feel the need to suck from you as much :hug:
Imagine yourself in a bubble protected, or imagine them in a box with all their energies flowing back on themselves.
Uggggh! MILs!!!! -took us forever to escape living with mine so I totally get what you are going through.
Question- could I imagine cutting the strings away from MIL for my children?
ll80- Hope you can get her out soon!
:hug:
Thank you everyone. All your advice is very much appreciated.
I could personally cut ties with her in an instant but the kids love her and she does treat them well for the most part. It wouldn't be fair on them.
She was out for the most part today and I opened up the whole house and let all the air in, her negativity out. I am feeling a little more relaxed this evening.
I'm going to work on the visualisations and protecting myself until she finally leaves.