Childcare advice needed

So I'm going back to work early March :crying:

I'm hoping to change from 5 days a week to 4, but DD will need to go to childcare. All our family is too far away to help out and there's no one else available, so childcare it is. I'm already really stressed by it. It could be worse, DH finishes work at 3 so will pick her up early and she won't be there the entire day, but still. I hate the thought that she won't have one on one attention, I won't be there to feed her to sleep, and it will all be so new to her. They won't know her little cues, and what she wants. Geeze, it's making me cry just thinking of it :(

But seeing as we need the cash, and my job isn't able to be worked any less than 4 days a week (I can possibly look at doing one day from home in future), it's unavoidable. So now I'm after advice.

If you had a choice of Family Day Care over care in a centre, what would you choose? Apparently someone here in the tiny town we live in does FDC. This really is a small town, so I could quite easily get to know this person from now until we go if we chose to go there. We could also walk to and from care, so wouldn't need to get a second car seat for DH's car. But my Mum used to do FDC, and I know that how good it is really depends on the individual carer. And I know that because it's in the person's home, their life continues and I've seen circumstances (not from my Mum lol) where they're basically just doing whatever they want, and the kids are just there. Rather than properly interacting with them and taking it as their job, you know?

I feel a tiny bit better about the Child Care Centre, but it's further away and we'd need that second car seat. Plus it'll be a much bigger group, and most likely not the same carer with DD every day. I don't know if this would be better?

Either way we go though, I'm thinking it's probably not a bad idea to start earlier than I go back to work, to see how she goes. How early would you do this? Two weeks? And for the whole four days? While on the one hand it seems like a good idea, on the other hand it feels like I'll be robbing myself of those last days with her :(

Any advice anyone has for how to make this go smoothly would be fantastic. TIA.

My thoughts on FDC is that the babies or kids need to be very similar ages for it to work. When I was looking for DD1 all the FDC around had older kids and I thought that she would not get much from it and I did not like that they went on outings all the time (atleast while whe was only little) because she would have been stuck in a pram while the older kids played. I also worried about her been transported by someone other then me or DH. At the DC she goes to she has stayed with babies/kids her age and has had 2 great teachers plus a teacher that floats between rooms. I always knew where she was too.

They do get loads of attention at DC too.

I would maybe start a few weeks before you go back to work and maybe 2 days a week to start. It is a hard time for mums more then bubs to I think. You will cry but it gets easier eventually:)

I remember facing exactly the same dilemma when I went back to work with DD. She was just under two months old when I had to go back :( I chose the childcare centre option in the end because my exDSS had two family daycare providers (in two separate council areas) who ended up being charged with abuse of daycare kids :o (one smacked and the other went out shopping while the kids slept). I figured at least with a centre there are a lot more checks and balances. More people going in and out. Ironically, as time went on and DD was almost three, I couldn't get all the days I needed so I needed an alternative. I had no alternative but FDC. I found the BEST carer! She was brilliant!! She took the kids to the library reading program, to a book club at Dymocks once a week, the park, did so much craft.....DD thrived. In the end, I took her out of the centre to go to FDC full time :lol:

I probably haven't helped. Sorry! But good luck with your choice. Either way, it will be excruitiatingly hard :(

My kids are in a centre and they have the same carers in the room for the year. The floaters that come to do meal break relief are also all familiar to all the kids. To be honest in our centre all the staff know all the kids by name so when i take DS2 to DS1 room to pick him up they all say hello to DS2.

We have been very happy with this centre, I did look at 2 centres and 1 just did not feel right this one did as was bright, clean, cheerful, helpful staff that genuianly love kids.

Good luck it is very hard. I have heard that FDC is very much dependable on the carer some can be amazing and others really crappy.

xoxo

Far out n2l! Those first two carers are exactly what I'm worried about. I think I'd have to really get to know the person before choosing that option. My Mum was a carer like the last one you described, there were a lot of fun activities and learning, and the kids loved it. But I keep thinking I'd want to just pop in all the time to check she was doing things 'right' lol.

And you've made a good point Kazzo, about someone else driving DD places. And no, I won't know if they go somewhere - it's really up to the carer, if she has a few errands to run she'll probably just do it, and take DD along. Hmmm... I don't think I really like the idea of it.

The centre we'd be going to is highly recommended. A friend from work has her DS there, he's been there since 12 weeks and they both (mum & bub) love it. So how soon should I contact them to go have a look? And how soon should we send DD there? I want to make sure she's ok there, rather than make my first day at work her first day there, in case something happens. And considering DH will be the one to pick her up after, should we start that right away? To make things exactly as they will be when I go back to work?

*Disclaimer - yes I run a LDC but this is a honest account....


We have one FDC in my town and my LDC centre. Recently the FDC mum was looking at buying my car so I had opportunity to talk extensively with her. She's been doing it for 10 years, is registered with a provider, etc. In that 10 years she has not had one check from DOCS or now OECEC (the licencing authority in QLD). They check for safety things - when they come to my centre, they check that everything is clean, safe, nothing is broken or damaged, that you have the correct staffing ,etc. They visit us at least once a year (if it's a centre with consistent problems they come out more regularly).
This lady also having done this for 10 years, has never done any study - yet LDC staff have 3 months (currently in Qld but all states from Jan) to commence their cert 3 and all senior staff must have a diploma.

Doesn't seem like the same standards to me. But this is just my experience. I have no doubt that there are some very wonderful FDC and some very dodgy LDC out there too!

Also as far as staff, consistency of care is very important and good centres will (certainly in the bubs room) have the same contact staff every day.

Most places have just done there room placements for 2012 and the current kids are orientating to there new rooms and the new kids are orientating in jan and feb depending on when there parents want them to start.
My kids started last year as I was going to uni and needed CC for me to do placements, so they started there orientation the week before I started uni. They did 1 day for an hr with me there, next day for 1 hr without me there and next day 3 hours without me. (wed thurs fri) they then started on the monday for the full day for first full day, and then mon after I started uni.

With starting straight away will you be able to afford as it is $ and if you are not working you will not get the rebate, but depending on income may get the child care benefit which reduces fees.

That sounds pretty bad Ausgirl, I can't think why anyone in Qld would choose FDC if those are the standards! It must be different in SA, when my Mum was doing it she had to do a pretty long TAFE course before starting, and had to continue to keep up her knowledge of the field. Any special courses that came out, she had to do them. We also had checks done on our house - we couldn't put the steps we wanted out the front because they wouldn't comply with safety standards for working with children - and Mum had to keep log books for each child that outlined the activities and learning they were doing. If I could be completely confident that they'd get a carer like Mum was I'd be happy, but I keep hearing some pretty bad stories.

So it sounds like starting the week before I go back would be ok. I think I might call the centre soon and just have a chat with them, and maybe go have a look around the place even though we won't start anything for another couple of months. That'll probably put my mind at ease a bit too. And yeah, I reckon I'll ease her into it over that week, and if something happens and I need to pick her up early when I've started work then too bad, work can wait :)

My DD's go to FDC. The lovely lady who cares for them only has preschool aged children except during school holidays. She has been wonderful and the girls enjoy going there. She takes DD2 to the library story time every week with another little boy while DD1 is at kindy. When they went on a different day of the week they went to play group.

The biggest problem with FDC is if the carer is sick you need a back up plan or will have to take time off of work, same for holidays. And the level of care is depndednt on the individual carer. The only way to tell is to go and look, try and talk to other parents. I prefer FDC as there is one carer with a maximum of 4 children under 5 and it is a more home like environment. Now that DD2 is 3 I think she would benefit/enjoy LDC as much but for little babies I prefer the idea of FDC JMO :)

To help the girls settle in I started them for about 4 hours once a week before I went back to work so they were familiar with Linda and the environment/routine. I spent time at her house with the girls while they are settling in. I was also BF at the time both girls started so the shorter initial visits meant I could pop in early if they needed a feed and I didnt have to worry too much about expressing and suppling BM. I also started expressing and stock piling EBM a few months before to take the pressure of having to constantly worry about if I had enough EBM to leave her with. If you are BF and planning on expressing and bottle feeding EBM while she is at daycare try to get her used to a bottle now as both my DD took some convincing that they could take EBM from a bottle. Its less stressful trying it 2 months before than 2 weeks :)

DD2 looks forward to going every week (they only go once a week) DD1 has not enjoyed it as much the last 4 months since her friend has stopped comming while his mum is on maternity leave, however DD2 starts school in January so Im not too worried about it

Ask around for recommendations. There might be some great FDCs in your area, never know. But also ask about DC too - the care etc can vary widely. .Yes, they're inspected etc, but that doesn't mean they're really great. (have heard some bad stories there too).
FDC can be good as there are fewer kids = less exposure to germs (seriously, your first winter in daycare you will be home with sick child 95% of the time). I also agree this environment is probably better for very young kids.
Can you afford a babysitter @ home? That's another option. We did that when DS was little. V. V. expensive compared to DC (and no rebate etc), but much better care.
All the best. It is a really tough time, I know

I've heard good and bad reports about both FDCers and child care centres, it really does depend on the place/person. TBH I've heard more bad reports about child care than FDCers, but that's probably because more kids use a centre than a FDC environment. I used a preschool from when DD was two, so I don't have personal experience of FDC or long day care centres.

I'd suggest you check out both options and see what suits you. You'll get an idea of what you think of each from visiting, as well as talking to parents. Pop in during the day when there aren't any parents around as well. And make sure you talk to both the director and the staff at the centre. Give yourself some time to observe. Lunch times are good as well, because it's when there's a bit less structure and the kids are more likely to be running around.

And even though the FDC might not have the same guidelines, you can ask to see qualifications, references, etc, yourself. In our area (Sydney) they are council approved, so try contacting your local council and ask about guidelines and checks and balances as well. I'd do the same for the child care centre - ask them how they did on their last check (they are annual) and what areas they had to work on.

We used a nanny at home for some of the time and received a partial rebate (CCB) because the nanny was fully qualified and registered with the govt (it was a few dollars an hour we got back, but at least it also counted towards our out of pocket child care expenses, so good for tax time). It was more expensive, but worth it for a little one (we'll be doing that this time as well).

I personally prefer a centre cause I didn't like the idea of my baby being out and about in someone else's car and being in the insurance industry I've seen and heard a lot


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The other thing you might want to take not consideration is that FDC tend to be more understanding with lateness (which may not be an issue initially, but could be down the track). DD's childcare had a policy of six times late in the calendar year (ie. One or more minutes after 5.55pm) and your child was thrown out of the centre. More than one child was asked to leave as a result of this policy.

Wow N2L, we have a $1 per minute policy after 6pm, but being thrown out is a new one!

It was a community run centre. Very popular and hard to get into. It was also $5 a minute late fee.

Unfortunately there's only one FDC in our area that we'd realistically be able to get to. I reckon I'll still give her a call and go check it out though. At least if I check out both options I'll have a better idea of what I'm comparing. I still don't really like the idea of DD going out in a car with others, but we'll see how it is there.

I spoke to a woman at mother's group today about the process when she started sending her DS to a centre, and put my mind at ease a lot. I guess as always there are pros and cons with both options, so I'll check them both out. I am feeling a little better about the idea of sending DD, and reckon I'll start her for a few hours the week before work starts.

And n2l, I'll definitely be asking about their late policy! Where DH works he sometimes needs to do overtime or gets callouts so I'd hate to have her kicked out if that happened.

We found that the issue with FDC was that because they were self employed they could pick and choose who they took to suit.

My DS was fine as a baby, being all cute and cuddly and newborn but as he grew my FDC lady became more...disgruntled? as he wasnt your run of the mill child. Due to safety concerns at the time I refused to allow him to leave the home for outtings (he was only there one day a week and she understood this concern when she agreed to take him on, she was happy with that). However when he developed allergies he landed in the too hard basket and we were given notice not too long after. I then had issue getting him into another FDC due to the allergies and was knocked back by more than one once they relised that he didnt walk (he was over 12 months old at this stage).

Since being in LDC we havent had an issue with his allergies and have just given them a list of a whole lot more to avoid, they deal with it a lot more regularly it seems. I was hesitant at first but DS has thrived and I am very happy with all of his carers including relief staff.

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The other thing you might want to take not consideration is that FDC tend to be more understanding with lateness (which may not be an issue initially, but could be down the track). DD's childcare had a policy of six times late in the calendar year (ie. One or more minutes after 5.55pm) and your child was thrown out of the centre. More than one child was asked to leave as a result of this policy.

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I read that and gasped - but then worked out (I hope) that the child was unenrolled rather than thrown out (had visions that at 6pm they would just put the child outside) then realised that just couldn't happen!!

Damn preggo brain, cant process things currently LOL

Kaytee - I cried for weeks at the thought of going back to work and DS going into care for a few days, I found it really hard.

However, the whole experience ended up being so much easier than I thought. Luckily I had access to a great Child Care Centre and the communication and care has just been fabulous. ALL the carers in our centre know DS even though he only goes 2 days and has only been in two of the rooms now, its a smaller centre and just has a great 'feel' about it. DS had been accepted into a bigger, more modern centre, but I chose the centre based on the people rather than the facilities as I didn't really think my baby would be too fussed how newer everything was but it was important to me that the carers and I were on the same page.

After a rocking first few weeks as DS adjusted, he has since thrived and loves his 'friends' and always talks about seeing his 'kids' at CC.

Good luck, pack plenty of tissues for the first few days (for you!!) xx

Yep, I sure will be bringing the tissues!! I talked to DH about it, and we're going to call the local centre and the FDC early next week and make a time to go have a look through both. I still get upset thinking about her spending so much time with someone else, but I know I need to go back to work and I know she's most likely going to be fine - it's just me that needs to get used to it lol.

Thanks everyone :)