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How old was your child when they first had a 'sleep over' at a friend or relatives house?
If your child had difficulty settling/sleeping did this lead you to delay sleep overs, or did you do it earlier to give you a break?
Did breastfeeding affect your decision?
My little one was maybe 4 months. I did breastfed but I expressed for her morning feed.
My kids have never slept anywhere away from me & DH. DS1 is 3 and the bubba is only 6 months. Breastfeeding did stop us letting him stay with his nana & pa, but I also just know that he wouldn't handle sleeping away from us. And I don't think I would sleep very well if he wasn't here because I would be stressing about him. Hopefully one day soon.
DD1 has had 1 sleep over with Nanna (i think) and that was within the last yr.
With DD2 it's been hard as she was BFing and a little funny to settle at night so that did affect my options of letting her stay somewhere, now though i would happily send her off for a sleepover with Nanna, SIL or to my cousins, i would also entrust her to you :p if the need ever arose :p
I'm at the point know where even though i know DD2 might be funny to get to sleep with someone else if i trusted they would do whats right for her, comfort her and wouldn't get angry with her not sleeping then i would probably still allow them to have her for a sleepover, but i wouldn't just hand her over to someone i thought might get frustrated IYKWIM.
Prob no help at all... :p
DS had a sleep over at my parents' place when he was about 14 months - but that was more because he was being babysat, and my parents go to bed earlier and preferred to have him overnight than us waking them at midnight to collect him!!
but for normal slumber parties etc, he's obviously way too little :)
my first slumber party was when I was 9.
My DS1 has had a couple of sleepovers at Nana and Pa's (my mum n dad) but I think he was almost 2 when he first slept away. We went to a wedding when he was about 15 months and just weaned and my mum stayed at my place for two nights while we were away. He now has a "special bed" (slumber lounger folding bed) especially for sleep overs and sleeps in my parents room, they ALL love it. I'm being induced with DS2 next week and he'll spend a few night with them.
My kids have never had sleepovers with relatives because we have none here, but first slumber party was aged 6.5.
DD has had sleepovers at my mum and dad's since she was 6 months old.
I think it's important to only leave your LO with someone you trust explicitly and someone that will follow your instructions.
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Both of mine were about 11 mths old when they started to take a milk bottle sometimes, although both were breastfed past that, and the sleepover was at my mums where they were very familiar with from being there for day sleeps etc. when i was working. DD had her first sleepover at MILs a few months ago but they are an hour and a half away. As for sleep-overs - I don't even want to think about it yet! Especially if it is a friend at school and you aren't that familiar with the family/friends who go there. Going to be tricky I think!
2years, 6 months, 1 week - and that was a "mum, we'll give it a try, but if she doesn't settle for you, we're picking her up on the way home" gig.
i think the fact we still BF did influence the decisions we made in regard to sleep overs (ANY time apart really) - we have a bedtime/night time routine that works for us, and i wasn't keen on messing that up. she didn't settle well for Granma, but she was asleep before we could have gotten back anyway. and then only stirred once for cuddles, which she accepted from Granma, so we were ok.
i think you need to be comfortable with the people you are leaving your LO with, comfy with how your LO will cope, and comfy with how YOU will cope. our sleep over was only earlier this month - had been planned since May as a friend bought us concert tickets. Initially we were going to do a "trial" sleep over or two before we went, but every time i thought about it, i realised that if DD didn't settle well, i would end up NOT going to the concert. so i went with my gut and held out until that night and left her. very much about my own anxiety issues, but it was what we had to do so that it worked for all of us
My DD started having sleep overs with her dad (we aren't together) and my parents around 18 months old. She was still breastfed to sleep (and still is now at 2.5) and was waking quite frequently for me but she was always happy to settle in other ways for them and obviously was/is very comfortable with her dad and her grandparents. Her dad used to rock her to sleep in an ergo, my mum lays with her till she falls asleep which is now what her dad does also.
I hate sharing her haha but she has so many people who love her and so many people she loves that all want to spend time with her so I hold back the tears till I'm driving away. I was only okay with it because I knew they respected the same parenting ideas as me and I am only 10min drive away so if I was ever needed, I could get back quick (I haven't ever been required to return till the next day though lol). She stays at her dad's once a week and my parents probably once a month although I'm sure my mum would steal her more if I let her! I personally was really worried at first but I now think it is good she has such a range of people whom she can find comfort and security with, if I was ever in an emergency situation where I couldn't care for her (illness or something) then I know there are other people there to pick up the slack. Although it sucks because I literally feel like I'm missing a limb when she isn't around, I know she is lucky to have people who are just as keen on her as I am.
She is a really confident little toddler and I think the whole comforted sleeping thing helped to create this rather than hinder it so breastfeeding etc never really led to me wanting to delay things. It is a bit of a unique situation though as her dad and I had obviously been together for the first year of her life so she had already gotten used to settling for him etc which I guess helped ease her into spending a night away from me, her dad also still lives in the apartment we used to. DD and I also stayed with my parents for a few months after her dad and I seperated, she has her own room there with a bed and things so it is a pretty familiar environment. I'm very close to my parents so we have seen them regularly her entire life (my mum stopped by almost everyday for the first 6 months of her life on the way home from work and every few days for the next year haha).
Currently, everyone is "fighting" over who gets to have her when I go into labour lol.
Totally individual depending on circumstances.
My first DD would have had her first sleepover with my mum quite young, we were in an attached granny flat & bottlefeeding from early on. So only a couple of months, I think.
First friend sleepover was about 7.
The boys would have only been a few months too, by then we lived apart from mum but still very close & saw her several times a week. DS2 was BF to 14 mths but I'm sure he had a sleepover before weaning, can't recall how we did it but I probably would have expressed or comp fed formula.
First sleepover at about 11 for DS1, but he was a bedwetter so that was a big factor there. DS2 is 9 & had his first slumber party this year.
Pie has never slept away from me or DH at the same time and we have no real plans to yet...we dream of a weekend away but in reality it will be a while before I'm happy to leave her, and it will probably be with DD1. We haven't got the family here, my mother hasn't had anywhere near enough contact with her for me to be happy leaving Pie with her (ITMS).
2 and 10months when I had DS. Mum and Dad took her home with them for the week. Mum knows how much trouble I had had getting her to settle so dad slept in the spare room the entire week and she slept with mum. Great sleep had by all apparently.
Before that I hadn't seen any real need to have her away.
Her first friend sleep over was this last year (so 5) but she's still wetting overnight so it was at a good friend of mine's.
DS only had his first sleepover with DH in October lol when I took myself away for the weekend.
we haven't had a sleep over yet but the grandparents are nagging for one!
My girls are 3 and 1, and im just not ready for that yet! DD1 may be but mummy isn't :(
opsy i just rememebered, DD1 spent the night with Nan and Pop when DD2 was born, but that was at our place :) does that count? :)
My DD started staying at my parents' house for few day stretches when she was about 7 months old because I had no care over Christmas when the creche shut and I had to work. They live a couple of hours away so she had to do overnighters.
She still goes and stays with them over the hols. She loves it!! So do they!!!
I actually thinks it's important for a child to spend overnight time from their parents. It helps build independence and confidence (IMO).
Almost 3yo for DD1 and I think 3yo for DD2. DD1 first time was when DD2 was born, had no need and no opportunity before then. She would probably been fine before then depending on who she was staying with. DD2 was much harder, way more attached to me than DD1 (and I thought she was attached). Surprisingly she stays better with others elsewhere than if I leave her home.
Dd1 was about 14 months for her first sleepover at my folks. When DD2 was about 2, so dd1 3, they both started fairly regular sleepovers with my folks. They love it - Mum makes pancakes in the morning, and the rules are stretched a bit more at home but nothing I'm not comfortable with. DH and I get valuable grownup time together knowing the girls are safe and happy. My fks love it too. Not happy for them to stay with anyone else yet - family or friend. A couple of DD1's kindy friends have sleepovers now at age 5 but that is waaaaay too early for me.
DS is 4 in march and has never had a night away. OH and I have had nights away but one or the other is always with DS. He was bf until a year ago and that did play a role in the decision. Despite this he is still a happy, confident and independant little adventurer :D
I doubt anyone would want to ever have DD for a sleepover given how much she wakes lol
Both of my older children have stayed at my mum's a handful of times, first time for DD1 was when DH and I went to a wedding, she was about 18 months old. DD1 is now 8 and has stayed at the homes of two of her friends a couple of times. I trust both of these families to care for DD1 and also to ring me if she needs me. DS is 6 and has no desire for a sleepover. He has been invited a few times but always stated that he doesn't want to go. He loves to go for a play but wants to sleep in his own bed. He did try a sleepover last school holidays at the home of a friend. I have known the mum since long before DS was born and he is in the same class as her DH, so someone he knows well. Despite her reassurance, he was not comfortable sleeping somewhere else and asked for me to come and get him when bedtime came. I figure he'll be ready when he's ready!
We have never spent a night away from DD2, mainly because my mum has been living overseas!
My oldest was 11m but that was due to no family around. Friend sleepovers were at 7.
Younger son slept at my parents' once each week from 11w. He dent sleep at home and my marriage was breaking down. Friend sleepovers from 5.
Not yet for any of mine. DS just turned 4. We don't live close enough to any family so he is not super familiar with them. He was also a sleep horror, I wouldn't have wanted anyone to see how rotten he was lol. I doubt anyone could have settled him since DH and I couldn't get him to sleep half the time.
He is finally sleeping through the night mostly, but I wouldn't want to do anything to ruin that! DD1 is just too young IMO (just turned 2), and I wouldn't even contemplate it with my 3 month BF bubba. Of course I am sure I would have a different opinion if we had a trusted family member close by.
DS was about 13 months when he had his first sleepover at MIL. Out of necessity because DH & I both came down with gastro at the same time and were physically unable to look after him, so MIL picked up him and took him for the night. He has had his second sleepover at 19 months with his aunty and cousins when I was in hospital giving birth to DD.
DD hasn't had any sleepovers yet. Potentially in the new year they will both have a sleepover at their aunty's and cousins but they will both be staying there when I go to hospital for this birth.
Neither of ours have had a sleepover without at least one parent staying over as well but if DS1 got invited to sleepover at a friends I would let him go. He is 7.
I wouldn't let my Mr5 have a sleepover with a friend because he still has an occasional wet bed especially after a late, exciting night.