Is your DH/SO good at buying you presents?

I need to hear I'm not the only one feeling a little jibbed this Christmas lol.

It has been planned for at least a month that we will be doing Christmas lunch this year with my mums side of the family on christmas eve. We have to be there at 10 and it's a bit of a hike to get there.

I mentioned just now to DF that I want him to just check what he's planning on wearing because I hate racing around in the mornings when we have to go.

So, he's just realised that he is out of time to do Christmas shopping for me lol and has decided that tonight is the only chance he's got so he's gone out late night shopping to 'just quickly grab something for me' - how romantic lol

Do you get awesomely thought out gifts from your special someone? Or not lol


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Not usually. This year I know what i'm getting. He even got it out the other night to show friends when they dropped around as they are looking at getting something similar. He's not bothered to wrap it. It's just propped against the wall in the study.

Still, on the plus side it is something i need and want and it's a nice version. He spent a couple of hours on google looking at them and it arrived a week ago.

I would like a surprise once in a while, but we've been together for 14 years - I know he finds it hard to buy gifts for me. I don't wear jewellery and lingerie is not something you can get someone every year.

We both suck so don't buy gifts unless we happen to think of something awesomely perfect. One year I bought DH a honey extractor. v.v.romantic

Whyever not? I'd love lingerie every year!

My DH is pretty good - although I know what I'm getting Christmas day, he did come home the other day (working abroad) with earrings he saw and thought I may like. Bless him, really not what I usually wear at all... but amazingly, matches the dress DS found for me while DH was away. He has been educated as to my tastes over the years - when we started dating, he would frequently get me presents his mother thought were great.

We don't really do gifts often (because we just tend to buy stuff when we want it and then say 'oh that can be for christmas/birthday etc') but when he does he is much better at getting gifts for me than I am for him - normally stuff I like but wouldn't buy myself, whereas I always struggle thinking of things for him.

Honestly..my DH is the worst gift buyer :lol:
I once saw him coming home from work with my birthday gift on the day it was my birthday. He can't even think of gifts to buy his family, it's just not his thing.
After 15yrs of marriage I am used to it :)

I write a list & DH has gotten a few things off that. I sort of guessed one b/c DD picked it (a pandora charm, but don't know which one). I just got DH some clothes and electric salt & pepper shakers (in house joke!) Usually DH needs a push or hint

The only thing I know that DF has got me this year is a few playstation games. I haven't played playstation in months, I'd like to play more but don't have time/energy. So I'm not sure that's so great. LOL but I appreciate the effort.

We write each other lists so we get something we'd like. I've been a bit difficult because I couldn't think of anything. He had to hassle me prior to both birthday & Christmas. So I sent DH an email with links to a website to buy my favourite hand cream and mascara. He then used my sign on to buy it. It was then delivered addressed to me, and I was told not to open the box :) I don't have a problem with this at all. For my birthday, most of my present were pre-bought (clothes) and he then bought me a surprise gift of earrings so I had something to open on the day.

None of the gifts he opens Christmas day will be a surprise either. They're all from his list.

We don't really want much stuff and I'd prefer to buy something someone will enjoy. Mind you, I prefer not to buy him books. He reads something once then sells it on eBay to get it out of the house. I collect books and have to have them prised from my dead, cold fingers.

My DH is usually pretty awesome when it comes to presents. I have no idea what he's gotten me this year, he said no to my suggestion of a nice saute pan because apparently frying pans are not suitable for pressies. Even if I want one - he told me to just go buy one.

Last year he got me a lovely pair of gothic dragon goblets, which sit next to the drinking horns on top of the liquor cabinet. But the best ever was the very first christmas present he ever got me - a fossilised megalodon tooth. I'd been eyeing it off for ages, but wouldn't dream of ever buying myself one as they're hideously expensive. I nearly fell over backwards when I saw it :) Other presents have indulged my penchant for unique or unusual pieces of jewellery as he knows I hate mass produced stuff.

Mine comes and goes - the last couple of birthdays I have gotten a Tiffany necklace and a KA but in the past have received a dust buster, a robot :o, nothing and I have no idea what to expect this year but it had better be good coz I got him an iPad with my MIL and my parents!! :rofl:

My DH is usually a last minute gift buyer. And it's usually something token. Having said that, he does buy me thoughtful gifts at odd times (I LOVE Christmas and he bought me Christmas Earrings when they were first released just so I'd have them for the season ahead). But this year he has outdone himself and I am very very very lucky.

Mine is awesome because he hands his wallet over and tells me to buy whatever I want. Problem is his wallet is full of my money lol.

DH is a last minute buyer and it still pees me off!!

Some years have been great but I have always known what getting for birthday, chrissy, anniversary as my suggestion and I love what I got tiffany bracelet, hot air balloon flight but would love a surprise with thought!!!!!!!!!

My birthday this year I got the social network dvd in paper bag shop put it in!!!!

So not holding my breath!

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Mine is awesome because he hands his wallet over and tells me to buy whatever I want. Problem is his wallet is full of my money lol.

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Nice problem :) I did once get a gift of a very tacky wallet with a wad of cash in it...that was very nice!

Mine never gets me anything so this year I bought myself a dress to wear on my birthday and will buy a DVD in the January sales for Christmas, and I will not feel a shred of guilt buying stuff for myself:)

DP surprised me with pink tickets once, a ring for our first x-mas.
He's pretty good, he took the girls shopping today and I have NO IDEA .


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My hubby only went and did mine tiday


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Mine is awesome. I don't know what it is this year but he's had it for at least a month. He had it delivered to work so I couldn't see and bought it home a few days ago. I can't wait to find out!

Mine is awesome. He always gets me something I never knew I always wanted, lol! Really he does.
Me on the other hand....I usually get him something which he says..."Oh....wow....thaaanks babe." And instantly I know he doesn't like it. No matter how much I try to think of something awesome, he usually thinks it sucks :(

We do a list for each other too so a lot of the time its things I know about like books, dvds etc but he is also brilliant at organising significant, surprise presents. I've got a few stunning pieces of jewellery that he has designed himself. The designs are always something significant to us, like the pendant he gave me when DD1 was born styled like the sculptures of a family that you find in Africa. Our first holiday together was to Africa.

Most of the time though we buy a joint present for each other that is for the house. This year we're buying each other another tivo.

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I write a list & DH has gotten a few things off that. I sort of guessed one b/c DD picked it (a pandora charm, but don't know which one). I just got DH some clothes and electric salt & pepper shakers (in house joke!) Usually DH needs a push or hint

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Lol Rhi!! Electric salt and pepper shakers are an in joke here too!

DP isn't too bad. I got diamond earrings one year!! I got an iPad 2 for my birthday. He's bought me books I wanted too. Other times he buys me what I ask for, or takes me shopping. I can't complain.

This year we decided no pressies between us.

DH can be very bad or very good. For ages he would either get me a bunch of flowers (I like as a surprise, but not for b'day, anniversaries etc) or a box of chocolates (which he would eat half). Cracked it in the lead up to my 30th and told him it was make or break time. Got an overlocker that year ;)

Now I pretty much tell him what I need/want (we don't have much money, so I we can't waste on wrong presents). For Christmas this year we have agreed on a combined present.

Mine DH is usually very thoughtful.

This Christmas he has come home with a Michael Hill gift box and has tried to give it to me early. I suspect it may be an eternity ring as we're expecting our first baby and when he tried to give it to me he had some beautiful words to say... Although I stopped him and told him to wait till Christmas morning *redface*


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my DH is a bit hit and miss, but he does make an effort - I'm just hard to buy for ;)

he's getting more hits than misses the longer we're together, though, and as long as I know there's been some genuine attempts, I normally don't get frustrated with the misses.

DH is shocking i just usually buy it myself and tell him its my xmas present
But since reading this i think we should write each other lists what a great idea!

Mine doesn't even try!

The year before last he didn't get me anything and when I asked him why not, he said he was going to buy me a new pillow but I got in first and bought new ones so he didn't bother. Then last year he left it until xmas eve and then said he needed help. He was going to buy me a coffee machine...only problem is I do not and never have drunk coffee and neither does he :wall: I ended up buying my own present this year, threw it at him and told him to wrap it...at least I got something I wanted

My H isn't too crash hot at the whole thing. I write a list but I don't find I get much of a surprise. This year I told him I want a bottle of champagne. And my shopping tips were think local and/or organic. Means I get a sort of surprise and he gets clear directions which he seems to need! :lol:

After many years of epic fail at Christmas, DP got me a camera that I actually wanted last year. I think he thinks it makes up for every fail before that at Christmas AND my birthday and every Christmas and birthday forward, because I got nothing for my birthday and he hasn't made ANY effort for Christmas this year. Unless you count complaints about me spending all our money because he left ALL the Christmas shopping to me and had ZERO input into the presents for the kids. He asked what I wanted and the things I mentioned he acted like I was asking for diamonds, then said he wasn't going to get me those things.
In his guilt he gets angry at me and puts out red herrings like that. So, falling for it, this year I said he could consider the bike trailer (which is actually a gift to the whole family because both of us have used it for the kids who absolutely love it) my Christmas present and instead write me a heartfelt card telling me how he feels about me. Well, I'll be surprised if even that happens.
There are times I think "I'd like to get x, but I won't because what if DP is thinking of getting it for me?", then I laugh and remember that that is so highly unlikely, so I get things for myself. And I'm not exactly Ms Extravagance...especially when the bulk of my shopping comes from op shops...
I wanted something to mark the end of my degree and I got nothing, not even a "I'm proud of you", just a "thank goodness that's over" (because he'd had to pick up so much slack while I had exams on). So, his mum has given me some Christmas money and I'm going to the hot springs with it! Also, I won half a surfboard of my choice from a distributor and he was complaining that we couldn't afford the other half (as if I was going to waste my first prize in a random draw on a board I need!), so I said I would ask my parents to foot the rest, with some chipped in from us so that I would feel everyone was contributing to my graduation present. Then DP had the nerve to complain that I wanted him to chip in even $80...it's not just that he's a tightar$e, it's that he won't extend himself to even thinking about what anyone else would like.
So, to answer the OP, no, he's crap, and he sounds even crappier than any of the DP's here in the thread. It's not like Christmas and birthdays just pop up last minute. And it's not like I give a bad example for timely gift-thinking.

DH and I don't really do xmas presents. Sometimes we will but it is more the exception rather than the rule. We do birthdays though but often like last year I get a bit of time to myself for my birthday and get to choose something. I actually really value that time to myself to have some quiet shopping and buy something that I just really like other than what I really need.

I believe presents are not important. I don't like how people are made to feel like they have to buy me something just because of a certain day.. but if someone really wants to buy something then I think a lot of thought needs to go into buying something personal, and not just because they feel obligated.

DH bought me the best present. A coffee table style book of our dd. I almost cried. He put so much effort into selecting the pics and compiling them

:loveshower: This year DH and the kids got me a gorgeous sparkly black KitchenAid :)

I know I have already replied, but I have just been thinking about this a bit more.

So your DH feels like he 'has' to buy you something, but he left it too late and went out to do some last minute shopping to buy something in a hurry? To me that would mean he would end up buying something impersonal, just something that looked good on the shelf at the time with not much thought gone into it, because he felt like it was something he had to do. Why not just tell him not to worry about it? I don't know about you, but I would like to teach my son it is better to give than to receive, and to feel good by the act of giving without expecting anything in return. Kids learn so much by our behaviour, so I would never want to show that I am feeling upset or even slightly disappointed over receiving any kind of gift, or even not to receive one at all.

I had sweet FA to unwrap this morning. No, not even the piece of paper with some thoughtful words about how DP feels about me - and that wasn't going to cost any money :( Zip, nada, niente. He apologised, in a half-arsed way and then said "you're probably used to it", so I nodded. No more to say, really.
My son knows all about giving - he thought birthdays were occasions to buy someone else something until this year, when the kinder kids wised him up a bit. There is no shortage in this household of being a gracious giver. Thankfully, he didn't notice that I had nothing under the tree.
As I was wrapping the final gifts last night I mentioned to DP that the kids have gifts because I did all the work, the kids have a tree because I brought it in (I wasn't supposed to because of my pelvis, but requests weren't successful) etc.
So, yes, it's usually a bit of a personal let-down every Christmas, birthday, birth (I rock at birth and I don't deserve, apparently, any kind of token for my efforts and intense preparations :rolleyes:).
bec293 - I don't want him to buy me something last minute. Christmas is on at the same time every year. I want to be thought about. Most people I know do. To put zero thought into someone who raises your children, keeps the fridge and pantry full, keeps you clothed and keeps the house from descending into a hazardous waste land is not exactly a good example to give to a son, either. Though I hold out lots more hope for DS, because I AM damn good example of how to be gracious, not ask for too much and get by on very little. I had been living in a caravan until September, and with very, very basic facilities all year - a last minute hair clip would have been a nice gesture, at this point! I keep second-guessing myself, thinking maybe I'm getting about with a sense of undue entitlement. Then I think of how we've been living all year...and I know it would have KO'd many stronger relationships by now!
Anyhow, vent over - the kids are super happy with their few offerings, a day with cousins and huge feastings. I'd rather spend Christmas in Kiribati, and one day I'll get my wish!

Mayaness - sorry you have such a crappy situation, sounds much more involved than mere gift giving. I didn't read your previous post until now, only the original post by Ash. Hope you get your Kiribati holiday one day :)

Bek293 - I did tell him not to worry about it, he insisted on going to get one though. I didn't mention anything about it once he'd been shopping and I was very grateful when I opened it - but I did explain to him before the last minute shopping spree that him going out that night was for his sake not mine, that I already knew he'd forgotten and a last minute random present under the tree wasn't a big deal to me. I think he wanted to buy me something but maybe the day just snuck up on him a bit - letting him get me something did make him a lot happier - he would have been feeling really guilty if there was nothing there from him.


Mayaness - I'm so sorry that your DP was slack this christmas. That really sucks and you definitely deserve something! I hope there's some way you can talk to him about it without it blowing up :hug:


It was a nice present in the end - he got me one of those willowbark (I think that's what they are called??) statues and it is just lovely. :loveshower:


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I think it's important to remember that presents aren't nothing ... some people give gifts to show their love - and they feel loved by getting gifts. This isn't necessarily superficial.

I really like the "five love languages" book, which talks about five different ways people give/receive love: words of affirmation, touch, acts of service, quality time, and gifts.

gifts is definitely one of mine. so if my DH forgets to get me a gift, that is hurtful. if he gets me something where he clearly hasn't thought about it, it's hurtful. not because I haven't got a new *whatever* but because he hasn't remembered, planned and executed a gift giving.

personally, I think it's actually very important in a relationship to know how people need to be loved. my DH's are touch (surprise surprise ... a man who likes to be touched...) and quality time. for him, just sitting together doing independent activities is a way he feels loved - just by being together. personally, I don't get it. but as it makes him feel loved, I will make sure there's time in my week to just sit with him - whether it's reading, or watching some show he wants to watch, or whatever. and to just snuggle, or hold his hand, or scratch his back or whatever.

but on the gifts front, it's the thought and the effort that's the main thing: taking the time to do something nice for me, in a way that really makes me feel loved.

some of the nicest gifts I can remember getting have been things like DH getting up really early one Monday morning when I was at home sick to get me a TV Week (long story short, I used to get it on the way to uni every Monday morning and read what happened in all the shows, because I never had time to actually watch them ... but I'd read the storylines, so I knew what was happening, and could join in on conversations...) - I was really over the moon, and very touched! Best $2.70 (or whatever it was at the time) I think he'd spent on me up to that point in time ... and another time, he bought me just the most beautiful necklace ... it was probably about $300 and I don't know how he saved up the money, but it was beautiful and it was exactly my style ... and the feeling I got was the same as the feeling I got from the TV week - my wonderful loved one thought of something I would really like, had made a plan at a cost for him (whether it was getting up at the crack of dawn, or saving up $300 when earning $9 an hour...).

and there have been some real misses - a dolphin statue, earrings that I never would have bought for myself, etc ... the misses don't bother me when I can see that he's thought about it and tried - they only bother me when he's clearly just bought me something from the supermarket on the way to my birthday or whatever ... because they show he wasn't thinking about it in advance...

anyway, this is all a bit of a tangent ...