At breaking point.

We need help or I think my family may just fall apart.
DD who is 3 is going through a terrible sleep issue. She wakes 2-3 times on a good night - on a bad it's 5-6. She will not go back to sleep in her own room, she will only go back to sleep on the couch. I would have spent a good portion of every night for the last 3 months sleeping on the couch.

DS who is 9 months wakes frequently over night , you can get him back to sleep with his dummy most times, he does still have a bottle at 2am-ish. He domes times has 3 sleeps a day but mostly 2 at lunch then in the arvo but we are lucky to get an hr for each sleep.

DH and I are exhausted being up at least 4 times each a night.. We are st each others throats all the time and I'm really scared we will just fall apart under the pressure.

DD is so cranky and throws tantrums at the drop of a hat because she doesn't sleep properly. She doesn't eat properly either and it's a bad cycle.

Not really sure what to do... Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

So sorry to hear it. Do you think you would consider sleep school for DD? If she is 3 I think she is old enough to handle it. I don't think I'd cope with two up at night either, but just DS might be managable.

I would consider sleep school, but I don't think I could do CIO. I know that it's going to get harder before it gets better but I would like to do it as gently as possible. I am putting a mattress in her room tonight and wham she wakes I will try to keep her in bed and lay beside her till she sleeps...
We have a very small house so we have to try to stop one waking up the other...

I think that is a very good start :grouphug: let us know how it goes.

Have you worked out why she is waking? Noise? Hungry or thirsty? It just because?
Our DD 17 months would wake 2-3 times and only go back to sleep if she was with us.
We started playing music to her and when she would wake we would put the cd on and sit next to her. We persisted in not letting her sleep with us.
At themoment she may wake once per night at I just go in and put the cd on. The cd is also handy when my 2 month old wakes up because it masks the sounds.
Unfortunately I think once a pattern is established you have to work at breaking it so I think persistence with her is the key. Believe me I know how tiring it is but you and your DH need to work as a team.
I'm not saying this will work for yiu but hey- anything is work a go
Big :hug: luv. Xxx


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Dd1 was like that, here is what we did for her. We gave her a torch, it's a rechargeable one which she can use as a nightlight or as a torch if she woke up, she had toys and books she could use if she woke up and a soother which played music, all of which helped her self settle.

Make sure your dd has had enough to eat during the day and that she is not having pains in her tummy to anything she has eaten either - dairy or gluten etc.

It's normal for them to wake up but what you want to encourage is for her to be able to go back to sleep herself. It will take a while but once you decide what you want the routine to be stick to it so it becomes her new habit.

Both my daughters have queen size beds. I know a lot of people think that is completely nuts for the 2 and 3 year olds they were at the time they got them, but they are our lifesavers. When they have each gone through stages like your little DD is going through either DH or I (always me when its DD2) simply get in with her the first time she wakes during the night and stay there. So long as they weren't waking for a reason that needs to be resolved, they got in the habit of night waking, so a few nights of waking to find mum or dad right next to her resulted in her just going back to sleep. It took varying lengths of time, but the cycle of night waking was broken and then DH and I suddenly found ourselves waking up in our own beds.

I'm really sorry for you. Sleep deprivation is just awful and can take a huge toll on other parts of your life. I hope something changes for both you and your DH soon.

:hug: hope you get some answers.

Thanks ladies - great advice and I have taken it all on board. Trying the mattress beside the bed tonight and for the next week. We are looking into a bigger bed for her this week too... Just have to find some spare $$!
I appreciate all your responses and it feels better to know I'm not alone.
Xox

One of the sleep schools have vodcasts you can watch online, njust cant remember which one it is...will go look for you xxxx
It's the queen Elizabeth centre that do them

Big hugs.....sounds so rOugh. Hopefully the cycle can be broken and you get some more rest soon.

Thinking of you :hug:

We have a queen size with a single bed pushed up against it in our room so we all sleep together. I hope you find a solution that works soon.

That's really rough!
For your DD I'd seriously consider looking into other issues that may be affecting her sleep. Illness, allergies, sensitivities, anxieties.... and so on. In the mean time bunking in might be one way to get a bit more sleep. Hope you can get some rest

DS was going through a really ****ty phase recntly and not sleeping well. had us flummoxed till we realised he was scratching his bum all the time - he had worms! eep. not saying that's what it is, but sometimes it's something really unexpected.

DD1 had horrible sleep between 2 and 3 years old. What worked in the end was a strict bed time routine, same bed time each night, same parent puts her to bed each night,not going in her room until right before bedtime,sleep cue (projector plays 10 mins with a bit of light then turns off,same toy with her every night). We also got her a double bed, which I think really helped as she hated being caged in the cot or toddler bed, and she sleeps sideways every night! Now its established we can be a bit more flexible (bedtime can vary, doesn't matter who puts her to bed) but if we mix it up too much she goes feral and we start all over again. DH works overnight and dd2 is a shocking sleeper so I Definately feel your pain! Sometimes though dd1,dd2 and I all end up in dd1s bed as its the safest lol (one side on the wall other has a bed rail. We didn't have to do CIO at all, but it did take a few nights to see improvement, but within a few weeks she was a changed person! Day sleep for my dd is important too-sleep Definately promotes sleep in her case. We follow the exact same routine during the day too. Xx

Oh forgot to say we also started giving her dinner earlier, I think she was eating too late and getting indegestion or a tummy ache....also got her an amber necklace.....still don't really know if any of this helped, haven't been game to stop lol.

oh yeah, early dinner or big lunch instead is a good one for when they're too tired to eat properly. How big is the spare mattress? I slept with DS on a queens size on teh floor for ages. once he settled better I was able to leave him there and he slept alone finally.

I was going to suggest getting her tonsils checked out (may be reason for bad eating?) My ds has had really bad sleep habits for ages, and only until recently have we realised it was probably his tonsils all this time. They're coming out next week.

I hope it's something you can change. It must be rough. Hang in there.

Thanks ladies.
Well wouldnt you know it - both kids only awake once last night! DD awake @ 5 had a drink and back in bed and DS @ 1.30 had a big bottle and both still snoozing in bed!

Oh well - If I can still use the suggestions that you have all given and try and get DD out of this habbit it will be great! One step at a time!

I feel great for getting 7 hrs sleep that I have even been out for my walk nice and early to beat the heat!

Thanks again xo

That is fantastic! So happy for you :) FX it continues. I guess at this point it is all about perseverance though that is hard when you are sooo tired.

sorry your going through such a rough patch, we had the same issue with DD1 with waking and wanting to sleep on the couch, in the end for our own sanity we just let her get up and sleep on the couch, she stopped after about 2 months on her own, we just left a blanket and a pillow on the lounge for when she got up. I felt bad about it at first but looking back it worked and everyone including DD1 was a lot less upset

I dint know if that would work for you but I hope you get some answers

That's great news that you got a decent night's sleep. Fx for you that you get a few in a row so you and your DH can start to catch up too.