Un-Domestic Goddess-like vents (free for everyone!)

I am so SICK of the following housewifely duties -

* Washing the clothes: I believe in the marriage contract, I would do the dishes if Professor would do the clothes, so neither of us had to do the job we hated. Now I'm doing BOTH.

* Mum's freaking cat: It's fed. It's brushed. It's played with. Now it's just whinging for no reason, and I swear, next time it whinges, it's going through a window.

* Mum's puppy: I know you're housetrained - I've seen you go outside to do your stuff. So why do I step in a nice warm puddle every freaking morning on the way to the kitchen? And why do you choose one bowel movement per day to do inside?

* Everyone who touches the kitchen: I cleaned that sucker out 4 days ago. It was spotless. It was a thing of BEAUTY. Now if y'all could be bothered washing up your own stuff after you've used it, or putting the bread in the damn bread bin, or throwing out empty packets, IT WOULD STILL BE SPOTLESS!

All I wanna do is have a shower and hide for the day. But I can't have a shower because I have literally NO clean clothes. I have enough clothes to go an entire MONTH without washing. That shows how long I've held out for Professor to do his part. So now I have a MONTHS worth of washing to do, and iron and put away (or that won't get done either!) before I can have a damn shower and get on with my own stuff.

Please, join me in a vent :)

Why is it so hard to put stuff in dishwasher rather than stacking in dam sink.
Why is it so hard to put clothes in laundry basket that is next to ensuite door!
Why is it so hard to clean up kids toys so that we have somewhere to walk rather than stand on stuff when you have been home all day with kids!
Why whinge that you have no clean work pants, you can take them to dry cleaners just as easy as me!
Why put kids in clean PJ's every night after bath/shower as you are to slack to go get the ones they had on the night before from rooms! Not like I don't have enough washing!
Is it that hard to put away the container of dog biscuits after you feed them so kids don't empty them all over the floor to feed dogs!
Is it that hard to put a sandwich on a plate so youa re not dropping crumbs all over floor why you walk around eating it!

Hmm I better stop or you will think he never does anything right LOL he does

Why am I the only one who cleans without procrastinating for 4 hours and copious amounts of nagging to get up?

I'm with you. DH thinks cause he works all day he doesn't new to help feed the baby or bath him.

We came home to a spotless house and now it looks like a bomb hit it again :( its not that fing hard to rinse your stuff when I have finished with it and stack it not just fling it on the freaking bench and wait for the fairies to come.

I attempted to do it yesterday and got so overwhelmed that I sat and cried.

If you empty the bin, put a new bin liner back in!!!

There are FOUR bins in the house, not just two! No you do not get a medal for emptying TWO and leaving them bagless, see point above, plus empty ALL OF THEM!

Dishes go IN the dishwasher - it isn't hard!!!!

Clothes go IN the basket - or they won't get washed!!!!

PLEASE - hang the tea towel and hand towel back up after you've used them!!!

Why is it that lots of men seem to have difficulties putting things where they belong?!

I'll join in here too.
We have a cupboard full of glasses which was empty yesterday, how hard is it to wash your glass and use it again?
Put your dirty clothes in the washing basket and they will get washed.
When you use something put it back where you got it from, not hard.
The kids have told me that today I'm not allowed to do anything :lol: because it's my birthday, lets see how long that lasts.

Regards,
Dianne

stop making watery mountains of dishes in the sink! Rinse and stack beside the sink so I don't have to spend half an hour cleaning out the sink before doing the dishes.
when wiping down the bench, please cup your hand at the edge to catch the crumbs...I am not a chef's apprentice/kitchen hand who is there to sweep up after you when you cook.

need a quick whinge....

DH , i know you work all day, every day. i know you work HARD and havnt had a day off for months while i have been away. but seriously, if i ask you a question, mainly just to start a conversation, i find it really rude when you tell me to 'work it out myself' and then launch into a full on argument about it, it would have been easier to just answer my question! . *makes raspberry noise with mouth*

I'm with everyone else on: Don't stack dishes IN the sink - stack the BESIDE the sink. How am I supposed to use the sink to wash the dirty dishes, if it is full of dirty dishes???

If you empty the entire cupboard/wardrobe/drawer in order to get access to what you need, please put everything back in the cupboard/wardrobe/drawer afterwards...

Rubbish goes in the bin, not on the floor.
Dirty laundry goes in the basked, not on the floor.
Clean laundry needs to get folded and put away, not put back in the basket with the dirty laundry...

DH and DD are so un-house trained...

There are coasters on the coffee table for a reason - USE THEM!!!!!!!!!!

Dear house,

Please stop vomiting up everything around you. Oh, hang on.... maybe that's the kids making that mess.
Either way... can someone please pick it up that isn't called Mum?

Crumbs. Everywhere. Right after I have swept or vacuumed. It's like they breed the minute I have finished. Ugh.

I don't fold laundry for fun. When looking for work pants, DO NOT unfold every pair, then throw them in a pile for me to re-do. Not gonna happen.
You know how many pairs of socks you have. When you're low, tell me so I can take care of it BEFORE you have a meltdown about no clean socks.
On your days off, I'd appreciate it if you were more hands on with the baby. You know when he eats, feed him. Why do I have to ask, then receive eye rolling and huffing?
If you don't want to do dishes, fine. But don't whinge about the way I choose to do them. ie- not rinsing. It doesn't affect you, because you haven't touched a dirty dish in a month. No wait, there was one time.
I can't cook dinner AND put the baby to bed at the same time. Work it out. You have to do one.
Drinking directly from the bottle is a great way to save glasses. :)
Put your coffee cup next to the sink, instead of leaving it on the coffee table. There were 3 there this morning. wtf?
I am not the only one capable of sterilising bottles. We have 15. There are plenty. It only needs to be done every second day, yet you don't seem to notice them lined up on the bench.

*sigh*

No. The dish cloth should NOT be used to wipe something off the floor. Although maybe I should just be happy that you are in fact wiping something up that has been spilt!?!

DD2 - No sweetheart. You do not need a clean pair of knickers after you get out of bed in the morning, then after you get dressed for the day, then after you go and do a wee, the after you have a swim and get dressed again, then after you do another wee. You can have clean knickers when you've had a bath/shower each day and that's probably enough. Please.

DH - it really doesn't matter how many times you tell me that I don't need to iron your shirts and question if I really need to iron the girls' clothes. The answer will always be yes. I don't like my family looking like street urchins. Maybe you could lessen the load on me by doing something like wash a dish or empty the dishwasher. Also, please don't ask me if there is anything you can do when the kids have crap everywhere, the dishwasher needs to be emptied, there are dishes to be handwashed, the bins are overflowing and the dog needs feeding. Just use that genius IQ of yours and open your #*&)@#@*&&%()%#(* eyes!! Thank you.

DP - no it is not possible to clean and tidy as you go so that the house is always pristine. Nice theory, doesn't work in practice with two girls following me around from room to room. Or messing up another room while I'm tidying another.

Guess what? I like a clean/tidy house but it's not my mission in life. I should not have to spend all my time doing it.

This housework lark would work a lot better if you actually took care of the girls for half an hour here and there so I could clean/tidy. Or for a few hours every now and again, rather than huffing and puffing.

You want a clean house, give me the time to do it. Ain't rocket science.

Ohh boy where to start?! DH, dont whine about all the things around the house i ask you to do that need doing and how little time you have to yourself. You have more you time than I ever get & you would spend les time doing things when you didn't stop to check your email every 5 seconds!! If there's wet clothes in the washing machine when you go to put your gym stuff in, dont just put the smelly clothes in on top of the clean stuff!! Get a basket and take it out of the machine or shock horror hang it out!!!

Ohh and cleaning fairies where the hell are you??

Sent from my HTC Desire using Tapatalk

Do cars count?

DH, I am happy for you to use my car, but DO NOT bring it home with only 20kms left of fuel on it and leave the money on the bench so I can fill it. Do it yourself! Especially since it had over 200kms in it the last time I drove it.

Considering I do everything else around here from all household tasks to everything to do with DD (although I know I should be grateful for you changing one nappy every two months or so), I don't think I'm asking a lot.

Dear DH, please don't leave your stinky sweaty socks that you wore to work all day in a physical job on the kitchen bench/coffee table/couch or anywhere other than the dirty clothes basket! ewww it is gross

"that's not where it goes."



this can apply to almost anything: rubbish on the bench, dishes on the bench, clothes on the bed, towells hung over doors, newspapers on the coffee table, basically anything on the buffet, empty boxes in the pantry, empty bags in the fridge, empty bottles on the bench ...

you know where it freaking goes, so PUT IT THERE.



that is all.

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PLEASE - hang the tea towel and hand towel back up after you've used them!!!

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YES!!!

Sent via my vortex manipulator!

Dear DH :

Please don't tell me that you can't do any housework during the week cause you're looking after 2 kids - and expect me to do it on the weekend while I look after 2 kids! MEH

When I clear a walkway through your garage / shed / carport, it does NOT mean that it's there for you to dump stuff in. Really. NO.

Finishing the job, any job, includes actually completing it, and putting tools away. Don't nick my tools cause you can't find your own ones! Oh, and can you also finish all those little jobs that you start - like nailing on the other half of the skirting boards, putting locks on doors etc.

Washing up : Just don't do the easy ones! I put my travel mug there so it's clean for the morning, you could actually do it with all the other dishes!

DH - you get 5 days off for working 4 12hr days, so I don't expect much of you for those 4 days, but is it THAT hard to empty the bins if they're over flowing, and I'm clearly busy doing other things??
Also, PUT A NEW DAMN BAG IN!!! We have ONE bin that requires a bag... ONE! Next time there's no bag, and there's stuff in there, you're cleaning it - regardless!

Is it that hard to get some help folding clothes?? You know I HATE doing it, but it's always left for me, and you procrastinate helping me all the time til I am forced to do it because we have no clothes left.

Also, I keep asking you if you want a clothes basket in the spare room where you get dressed, every single time, you say "no, I'll put the clothes out/in the basket in our room" THEN DO IT!!! Don't leave clothes lying everywhere all over the room and bathroom!! The basket is like 3 feet away!!!!!

Rant over.


Sent from the mobile world of iPhones - while no doubt i should be elsewhere!

Dear children,
If your so worried about toys you can't find please actually put them back.

DP - I know you work your butt off 7 days a week for us and I know our house is not spotless but I can't do everything with 2 kids, while I don't expect you to do it PLEASE cut me some slack or atleast put your clothes in a basket or remember where YOU put that jumper your missing rather than 'joking' ive lost it along with all your white socks.

Oh and our girls are sick, NOTHING is getting do e today.


Sent from my iPhone, more than likely while I should be doing something else!

... and I'm back!

Dear husband I love having a clean house but need your assistance seeing as the 4 kids, 2 ducks, 2 chooks and 3 cats don't clean up after themselves, maybe the adults could do it together?
Thanks disgruntled wife

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... and I'm back!

Dear husband I love having a clean house but need your assistance seeing as the 4 kids, 2 ducks, 2 chooks and 3 cats don't clean up after themselves, maybe the adults could do it together?
Thanks disgruntled wife

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Ohh thats a good point hun, maybe our 8 fish, 5 chickens, 2 dogs & 1 cat can attach brooms and dustpans to their legs / fins and clean up after themselves :)

Dear Husband,

I love you dearly, but I do not like bashing my shins on the kitchen drawers you seem to be incapable of closing. Shut the damn drawer!

Your bruised wife.