-
Divvy, you could probably tell me...I try not to watch the news but I do remember something a while ago about a 30-ish single woman trying to get access to donor sperm? Do you know what the current legal situation is in Victoria? Am I allowed access to donor sperm seeing as though I'm single but still technically 'fertile'? Some gay girlfriends of mine were talking recently about whether or not they can go to clinics in NSW cause they'd heard the laws were different there? If you can shed a little light that would be most helpful sweetness.
-
Chi-Chi, not allowed to access sperm bank/donor insemination in Vic if you are a single woman, you must be in a defacto relationship or married. And if you aren't then you must be technically infertile...
Google lawreform in Victoria, assisted reproduction and adoption - should the criteria be changed? Or email me and I will give you the link and info.
As far as I am aware, you can still use "non-traditional" methods in VIC ie turkey baster/syringe, but must be fresh sperm (not more than 2 hours old) and still warm. Best results are with syringe!
NSW law is different - many Victorian lesbian couples go to NSW to access IVF/ART.
Good luck! I did mention lending you my DH....
-
Is he cute/smart/the right number of fingers & toes?
Seriously, having had a rather rocky relationship I have considered at times what my options would be as a single woman. I don't know any males who I would ask to donate. That would be a really tricky thing. I wouldn't want to just shag anyone & cross my legs & fingers & hope for the best. But I wouldn't want to ask a friend & then be caught up in custody issues or something, I'd be wanting to protect my rights as sole parent. I guess I'll be doing some research. Pity the last one didn't knock me up before we went our separate ways.
-
Well... he does have the right number of fingers and toes... the others? Does "sometimes" count? Although he did just take me out to lunch...
If last partner did knock you up, then you'd still have custody issues... if he was interested!
Best wishes..
-
Nope, actually I wouldn't, he's not interested so it would've been a lot easier getting pg that way.
Anyhoo, I would be interested in the privacy issues involved with donor sperm. And also the issues of parental rights if it was someone known to me. Geez, it seems complicated & too daunting...but I guess the information is out there so thanks for suggesting where I should start Divvy, I'll be checking it out. You're so smart. What a woman!
-
i guess you could always have some kind of contract drawn up if it was a friend saying that he doesnt have any rights to the child etc. couldnt you?
-
Well you can, but it depends on whether or not the agreement is in the best interests of the child... too much legalese etc if you didn't know what you were doing it's easy to stuff it up.
-
Mmm, I don't think I'd go there, I agree Divvy it would be too complicated & could get really messy.
So, I guess my best bet is waiting til I "o" & then go get laid & hope for the best? Urgh.
-
Girls - I have separated your donor sperm discussion from the welcome message, so you can carry on chatting about it here :)
-
Thanks Kelly, sorry but it's pretty easy to go off on a tangent! (or maybe its just me?!)
As much as I've been joking about it, I am serious. But rather lost about how to proceed.
If anyone has any information at all, I'd appreciate it. At this stage I know nothing & am attempting to do some research but it's slow going. I'm trying to consider all my options as a single fertile woman, but don't know where to do from here. Any input would be wonderful.
-
I cant say I have really any idea about what you should do Chi Chi... Apparently if you were in NSW it wouldnt be a problem... maybe you could come here for a holiday and go home with a bun in your oven!
but seriously though keep researching and Im sure with the help of everyone on here you'll find a solution!
Keen
-
Chi-Chi
I did offer a "lend" of my DH.... (although I haven't actually talked him into it yet, I'm sure he'd be interested!!!)
Otherwise, seriously, there's not a lot you can do in Vic. It sucks, but that's just the way it is (until we get the law changed!)
Come and meet us at the Hofbrauhaus on 26 Feb! (you never know you might actually like him!)
-
Hey Chi Chi
I just read a newspaper article saying that Melbourne IVF has a way to get around the laws in Victoria. They do so by providing single women, or lesbians with a sample that they then take home and self-inseminate.
Maybe worth contacting to find out more details!
Keen
-
God, that sounds perfect. I wonder what it costs though? What if I go in there & offer to do their filing & make cups of tea?! Then take home my little vial of the good guys & gets me a turkey baster! Thanks so much Keen, seriously I will be looking into that for sure. What paper was the article in? Oh, there's hope for me yet.
-
My friend is single and recently had a baby through IVF. I will call her on the weekend and ask the details. She lives in country Victoria.
Gemma.
-
Wow Gemma, thanks heaps girl! Any information would be much appreciated.
-
If she was in Country Vic she might have gone to Albury...
I heard on the grapevine that Melbourne IVF do "give" out sperm if you qualify under certain criteria, but I don't think it's exactly "legal" IYKWIM!
And there are a few places that have spermies for single/lesbian women but often their samples aren't tested for the proper thingies.
-
the article I saw was in "the Age" Chi Chi, and Im pretty sure in it they say that they are not breaking any laws by doing it, simply using the loophole that the law has created by not being descriptive enough!
Dont know the costs involved, but cant hurt to give them a call and get some info!
If you want I can email you the link?
Keen
-
If you could that would be excellent! If I'm to be making calls & stuff it might help if I have some knowledge to start with. You're a gem, thanks
-
If you want just pm or email me your email address and I'll send it to you!
Keen
-
She actually lives in Albury. I always thought IVF was for couples that could not conceive. I will let you know details and ask about costs etc.
Gemma.
-
Gemma, Albury is subject to the NSW legislation which says that singles and infertiles can have donor sperm...
Vic says you're not allowed to do that unless you're in a hetero relationship or a defacto relationship, but we're trying to get that law changed (especially for Chi-Chi!!)
-
Damn pg brain!!
I forgot Albury was in NSW, DH just reminded me that Vic has Wodonga.
Gemma.
-
Hey Chi-Chi,
I am still trying to track down her number and will reply back ASAP. I haven't spoken to her since she moved away.
-
Hi Chi-Chi,
Finally I spoke with my friend about her IVF baby. She went through IVF at Albury because as you know it is illegal in Victoria. She had to do lots of counselling and it was very expensive. There is a lack of sperm ATM and couples are given the first priority. She said you have to be brave as there was a lot of opposition from people because she was single. Now no-one says anything since her son has been born. The hormone medicine is not much fun and harvesting the eggs is traumatic. She first tried straight sperm twice and that didn't work. They found out she had endometriosis and had to have surgery as she was never going to conceive. They then harvested eggs twice and was successful on the second attempt.
It was the best thing she ever did and she has a gorgeous healthy son.
Phone Ruth from the Reproductive Medicine section at the Albury hospital and she will send you the info including the costs.
HTH, sorry for the delay.
