My glimmer of hope has gone

We had our second scan today, which was not good news I'm afraid.
Our first scan at 6w+5d showed we were 9 days behind on our dates with only a sac and fetal pole present.
I had so hoped our dates were off and I had ovulated later, but this was not the case.
Our scan today showed the sac had not increased in size and the fetal pole had disappeared.
We are just so devastated and heart broken.
I will be having a D&C on Monday so we can send away for genetic testing.

I had allowed myself to hope this time, I tried to trust my body. I told myself that my intuition was wrong that this was Lucy's gift to us... a surprise pregnancy, conceived without clomid. It was meant to be. How can this be happening?

I am so numb, I really thought this time might be different.

I still feel like I am so lost after the loss of Lucy, like I am drifting through each day. I have no control over what is happening to me.
This pregnancy gave me a glimmer of hope, some direction and now it is gone again.
Whether I like it or not I have to face what is being thrown at me.
People are saying to me they think I am so strong, but I am not sure that strength has anything to do with it because I am not strong and I didn't choose this.

Sorry for rambling, I think I am in a state of disbelief

:( :hug:

Just want to give you massive :hug: I have no words xx

I'm so sorry :hug:

Aww hunny *massive hugs*

Sent via my vortex manipulator!

So very sorry :hug::hug:

xoxo

You deserve not to have to go through this, which is why it makes it so much harder, the pain so much deeper. No words will make it better, but I hope knowing there are people you have never met thinking of you right now brings some small level of comfort.
:)

:hug: I am sorry this is happening to you tilygirl. It just isn't fair :(

oh :hug: :hug: :hug: Tilygirl!

Oh tilygirl, I am so, so sorry. :hug:

I'm so, so sorry for you, tilygirl. :hug:

I am so sorry for your loss. I know how much this meant to you :hug:

FWIW, I hate the "you're so strong" stuff too. Like you had a choice or it happens only to the strong. You deal with hand that is dealt and there is nothing fair about it at all.

Take time to grieve

oh sweets im so so sorry. Life is so unfair.
GBH xxx

Oh no.... I am so very sorry xxxxooo

No no no. This isn't fair. :crying:
I'm so sorry, honey.
You're in my thoughts and prayers.

Im so very sorry

So sorry tilygirl :hug:

I'm so sorry tilygirl :(


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I'm so very sorry, be kind to yourself :(

I am so sorry for your loss and the hope that was taken away from you.

Oh tilygirl, I'm so sorry :shakehead: It's so unfair that just when you think this might be it, your heart gets trampled all over. You're allowed to be heartbroken and don't let anyone stop you until you're ready. Thinking of you :hug:

Oh no :( I am so so so sorry tily :grouphug:

I'm so sorry hunni :hug::hug::hug:

Im so sorry for your loss, and that you are left to somehow pick up the pieces of your heart which has been shattered too many times. I am in tears just thinking of the pain you must be in.

Go easy on yourself beautiful TilyGirl:crying:

I'm so sorry for your loss. I really don't have any other words, but plenty of cyber hugs x

I'm so sorry for your loss and the pain you are going through. Hugs.

Oh sweetie I am so sorry x

so sorry tilygirl :hug: it is so unfair

:cry:

I really am sorry to hear this. I had hoped for you it would be good news this time :(

No words can express the sorrow...

sending you and you DH love and strength :comfort:

My heart goes out for you Tily, I'm so sorry for the heartbreak and pain you must be feeling, sending you lots of hugs :hug:

Oh darling.... :hug: My heart aches for you. Truly.
Don't be hard on yourself for getting your hopes up - it's what that baby needed for those precious weeks she was with you.

Oh tilygirl... I am so utterly sorry for your loss! So unfair.

I get what you mean about the strong stuff too. Go gently hun. :hug:

I'm so sorry :hug:

I'm so very sorry Tilygirl. Strength has nothing to do with this - its just so completely unfair that anyone has to get through it, however they can. Take care

Im so sorry Tilygirl.:hug:

Im so sorry Tilygirl :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: Take your time to grieve and process and be sad and mad and hurt and lost :hug: Im so sad for you :( :hug:

I have nothing that could possibly make u feel better. I'm just so very sorry

Tily - I am so sorry you have had to say good-bye again. it's just not fair.

:hug:

:(

Oh honey, you don't have to 'choose' something for it to make you strong. Strength is the feeling that rises within when faced with crisis after crisis. Strength is the reason you continue to strive for your much wanted baby. Strength is what helped you to reach out to us here. You are stronger than you know. :hug:

I'm so sorry you're walking this path, yet again. It's unfair. I want to scream, and yell, and punch. But who do I punch? :( Just know that all of BB will be with you in spirit, holding your hand on Monday.