(Vent) "I bet the next one wont be such a good baby"

We are delightfully pregnant with #2, however I have now received 3 comments (from different people) of "I bet the next baby wont be so easy" or words to that effect

How Charming - bag my unborn baby before its born why don't you?

DS has been a pretty chilled out happy kid since he arrived in this world, however like all babies, its not all cuteness and perfection. In fairness compared to some I guess we've had no real issues with sleeping, eating, behaviour etc etc. However we've had massive issues with health and development - DS was diagnosed with Hip Dysplasia and spent 6 months in a brace (yeah that was REAL easy :wall: ), he has tone and feet issues so we have constantly had physio, pediatrician and podiatrist appointments so I really really begrudge these comments. Also, both our babies have been conceived via IVF after much heartbreak, so begrudging us any happiness or thinking we now should have a challenging child is just frankly mean!!

Everyone has their challenges and I find it quite insulting that because some small minded people feel that you only deserve one 'easy' child, that your next one will be/should be a nightmare - seriously? Bugger off!!

I also find this to be just a generally horrible thing to say to a happy expectant mother - way to go to burst my bubble of complete happiness.

The next person that says this is going to feel my wrath. I am completely prepared to say something along the lines of "That's a very mean and insensitive thing to say, we've had many challenges even getting pregnant and you feel my innocent unborn child will be difficult do you? I would have thought Congratulations was a more appropriate thing to say" (ok a bit long winded but you get the idea!!)

Vent over, I'm heading back to Happy-Expectant-My-Baby-Will-Be-Perfect Land now ;)

i had these comments too, so much so that i was convinced that baby number two was going to be a horrible beast with gnashing teeth....she is a pleasure..people are stupid and say the most ridiculous things! smile and nod....smile and nod! hugs.

I've also had these comments. People get ****ed off when you have a baby that generally eats, sleeps etc with ease. I never get why people have to feel jealous or *****y instead of saying 'oh, that's awesome!'. I feel sad I missed out on my homebirth, but I don't go around to everyone that tells me their hb story bringing it down and wishing difficulties on others. :hug: we can't control or manipulate our kids into being anything, they'll come out how they come out, perfect in their own way :)

You will have an awesome baby, a stunning-looking chubby-cheeked brilliant-smiling perfect feeder, and they will cry themselves to sleep with jealousy. I can almost guarantee it ;)

On the off chance that that doesn't happen, you'll be so well-equipped to handle it that you'll *still* have an awesome baby who smiles all the time, is bright and alert and chatters away and wins hearts everywhere you go. I can guarantee that :D

*have to go and cry myself to sleep with jealousy now*

hugs :)

my eldest dd has hip dysplasia, we had 4 months in a spica and 1.5 yr in a brace ( last year wasnt so bad as it was only night time wearing )
the amount of times people would want to say. Oh your lucky, it could be worse.... so i feel your pain on stupid comments.

Oh yeah, a hip baby is tough! DD has been in a brace for 3 months now, hopefully it will be off on Tuesday. But having a little baby that wants to get mobile is no walk in the park :hug:

i have had a lot of stupid comments about it all too.. i had three "perfect" babies (lol) that slept all night and stuff and now #4 is being a "normal" baby and waking up during the night ect i get told it is my punishment for having 3 perfect sleepers.. I dont think people actually think when they talk about un born/ newborn babies. I recently became the aunty too a little girl and the minute we found out it was a girl my sister had a - "thats great she is going to be a spoilt little biartch" comment ... she wasnt even an hour old. I think some people should just not even bother talking hey LOL

people's mouths are often not connected to their brains. and they see what they want to. i've never understood why people can't just say what a beautiful baby/child you have & stop there. and if they care about you/like you why wouldn't they just wish you another little person just the same?

People really can say the stupidest things can't they? I hate it when people things to me like "hopefully the next one will be as good as your daughter". Ummm, I have a son too! Are you saying he's a bad child? Ok, so maybe he wasn't quite as placid as my DD or sleep quite as well during the day, but he's still GOOD!

I hate when people ask "is he/she a good baby?". There's no such thing as a BAD baby. That just seems like the stupidest question ever to me.

Argh! People can be pathetic sometimes! I honestly don't know many humans have the nature to begrudge anyone who hasn't done it as hard as they did in a certain area. My sister is a classic example, just because my husband is really hands on and is just simply all round awesome she just can't stand it. She's annoyed that she didn't have any help with her kids so doesn't want to hear about how good things are for me in that regard. But DS has never slept through the night, he still wakes a few times. Some friends who have/had great sleepers just do not know the depth of sleep deprivation for an extended period of time (16 months and counting for us), It's impossible to comprehend if you haven't been there. So while they brag about how good their sleeper is a fleeting though can go through my head of 'you've got no friggin idea' but I'd NEVER wish it upon them!

:hug: Deal your wrath! It is very insensitive to say that, or as happened to me, the opposite (Dd had terrible reflux, screamed 12hours a day). At the time I was too exhausted and petrified that baby #2 *was* going to be a screamer like Dd to respond in a defensive way. Don't put up with it. :hug:

I understand totally!!
Except people are saying it the other way round: Your next one will be a "good baby" since E was so "BAD" Miss E was not "BAD" she had/has severe gastro reflux which in turn has caused the sleep problems etc.

Makes me so sad when people Label your lil ones!!

OMIGOD, I had to endure this AGAIN today - again from the MIL
Took all my patience not to tell her to take a flying leap.

Did growl at her though that my Little girl will "Perfectly FINE!!!" and then decided it was time to take my little family home!

I like to look at the flipside. Surely since I had the intense crying all the time style of baby... the next should be pure bliss. Right? Rainbows and lolipops? Maybe? :)

I hate those kinds of comments. For me it was the scoffing at my desire to have a natural birth. That hurt even more when I ended up in a bad way after a cascade of intervention and complications. I felt like people wanted me to suffer. Like they were all waiting for me to be discharged so they could say "I knew you couldn't do it". Of course they weren't, but it wasn't easy at the time.

:hug:

I get this from everyone and I'm not even pregnant with number 2 yet!

It sucks.

I always say I'm forever grateful that DS has given me a very smooth and relaxed introduction to motherhood, and if we are lucky enough to have child number 2, we certainly won't be judging them on how they sleep, feed etc and hope our family and friends won't either!

I'm getting this, too. :(

I had it too hun, i honestly think people just don't think about what they say.

SIL actually went as far as saying she hoiped i got one that didn't sleep - as a joke apparently because her kids were horrible sleepers at the start.... NOT MY PROBLEM.

But i am happy to say that even though DD2 was a little harder work at the sleep thing we figured out almost straight away what worked for us and it was never a massive problem, so :p to those people who say cr@ppy comments like that, it's none of their business.

Grrrrr, I hate that! I had it after DD was born and was a generally cruisy baby, then had DS who is possibly even cruisier!

I'd seriously contemplate asking if there is a problem with their mouth/brain interface because that sort of comment is exceptionally rude.

it is a silly thing to say so don't let it get to you. my dd was a reluctant sleeper, and so i got opposite comments "hope this one is a good one" etc but there are lots of benefits in having a child who doesn't need a strict routine and is happy to stay out at night (as long as mum or dad is there). i struggle more in having a child who needs sleep, and settles better in bed because it is a new set of requirements that i have to learn.

I also got the oh ur baby is going to be horrible just because I didnt get morning sickness and had quite an easy preg. I mean don't worry that I had a miscarriage so a symptom free pregnancy was actually very stressful for me(a little ms would have been reassuring!)
And now that he is here and has been quite a lovely little guy so far I now get ur next baby is going to be horrible just wait.... My first born is only four months old and I'm already supposed to be worrying about how "horrible" my next one is???

Grrr

We have a wonderfully easy going cruisey little bloke. Our last baby died at 41 weeks. I hate when people say "oh you are sooooo lucky to have such an easy baby". Yeah I am lucky but not in the big picture. Now my reply is "no I'm not lucky I am just a wonderful parent"
I also had one stupid person say the next one wouldn't be so good. I said there wasn't going to be a next one. The reply was "oh I guess you are too scared in case it's a nightmare baby". No actually we are too nervous to get pg again in case we lose another baby..........I didn't say this of course but what a tosser!