Anyone know about consent orders?

I need to make some sort of legal arrangement for custody when Jett gets out of hospital.. I was reading up about consent orders which from what I understand, parents make an agreement of access sign it, have it witnessed, then register it with the court. So it's a legal document but we wouldn't actually had to go to court..

Has anyone done this? It recommends seeing a lawyer before signing it, but I don't think you have to.. Any advice? (He probably wont sign it anyway and we may end up going to court but I'll give this a go first..)

Im not sure about how to get one- but I do know you need one- or else he can just come and take J and then YOU would have to go through courts etc to get him back. :(

:hug: It sux hun that your having to worry about this right now xoxox Taking J home should be the happiest time in your life :hug:

Yeah exactly.. I know he wouldn't, but still. I don't want to take the chance.. I have watched for the last 5 years how his ex and him have never been clear about access, child support etc.. I want it to be clear cut.. You have him this day for x amount of hours.. Jett will be on the boob and probably on oxygen so wont be overnight to start.., will have to re assess regularly I'd say.. I came across a site to get one, but I'm not good with legal stuff so just wanted a bit more info...

Oh hun this is the last thing you need to worry about.

Hope you can find the answer to your question. Sorry I can't help. Just wanted to let you know that my friend has gone through similar and her girl didn't get overnight access to Dad until she was over one. But she had to go to mediation and it went through family court.

Either way sweetheart its good to have a plan in place and do it from when Jett comes out so there's no confusion.

Given his medical needs at the time, you may be given custody and supervised visits for Jetts dad.

I hope it works out the way you want it to and I hope it doesn't take too much time away from your precious Jettski x

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Hon, I'm shocked as I had no idea you were separated. This is such a huge time with so much going on with little darling Jett, you don't need this extra stress.

Just FYI, I have a friend whose XH tried to push overnight custody at 12 months and she was able to push it to 24 months given the WHO recommendations for BFing till 2 years old.

I'm sorry you have to go through this on top of everything else, can you get legal aid and talk to them about it?

I would definitely be seeking information from other sources before making your decision on how to handle it. My DD has just turned 6 and still doesn't have overnight visits on the regular basis (only 3 ever!) - we have a private mediation in place.

I would suggest legal aid also, find out your rights and how to best handle the situation - also, there are places that run the mediation sessions if that's what you chose to do (like relationships australia) and they know how to cover all areas and have it written our correctly.

I'm sorry you are dealing with this as well as being such a great support to Jett - I hope it's all sorted out easily for you.


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for accurate info i'd contact the Family Relationships Advice Line - and if there is a potential that you'll need legal representation, you're probably best to get on to legal aid asap as only one of you can be represented by them

the advice line is a government resource and referral line - they will give you the info you need about going through mediation, getting parenting plans drawn up, then having them sent through the courts to become consent orders (i think this is the process - as i said, best to call them). i believe there is a cost associated with sending them through the courts but can't say what it is.

I strongly recommend that you get legal advice. I believe it is important to be aware of your legal rights.

Legal Aid QLD web site Legal Aid Queensland
Their phone number is 1300 65 11 88

Regarding legal representation (if it becomes necessary), you can be represented by a Legal Aid family lawyer or you can be allocated a grant of Legal Aid with a private family lawyer (ie. Legal Aid foots the bill).
All the best.

Thanks for all your advice.. I'll call legal aid today. Oh joy! I hope this is going to be easy lol..

you'll likely have to wait til tomorrow for legal aid hun - not sure if they'll be available on a public holiday

Sorry you are having to deal with this! I much prefer the carseat thread ;)

BAL, I am on my iPad so can't write much, but I just wanted to say my understanding/experience is if your ex has had any legal advice/representation from legal aid previously in any matter, you will not be eligible for assistance from them and vice versa, as it is considered a conflict of interest. So get in quick and make that call before he does...

There is also a cap on the amount of assistance you can get via legal aid for family court. It used to be $10,000 here in Vic which is absolutely nothing. My advice...do all you can to stay out of court, but still get court orders (if that makes sense).

Good luck!

Sorry you're going through this. I tried to get consent orders when DD was 7months. It was a long, painful and costly journey for me and I finally got something in writing when she was nearly 4.

Definitely start by seeking legal advice. I'm not sure if every state is the sane but we had to go to mediation first, and because that don't work we were able to go to court.

We wrote our own orders, which he contravened first weekend, went back for more and that's where it got hard.

Good luck and I hope it's an easy journey for you and Jett

:hug: I'm sorry you're in this position BAL, lots of love to you and Jett x

BG - Yes I did forget about today being a public hol.. How inconvenient!! My Mum had to remind me also when I tried to book a removalist lol..

N2L - He wont have any representation yet. He would only get it if his mum or dad do it for him.. I think he thinks I'll just be like his other son's Mum and just spend the next lifetime arguing.. Not going to happen. I think he'll get a shock.

I called legal aid when we first broke up and it was explained to me that consent orders were first port of call, but if we couldn't come to an agreement mediation would be the next step.. I'm hoping once he realises I am serious about getting sorted legally he'll just agree to what I want. He wont actually WANT to have J.ett, it will be his parents that'll encourage him to fight legally. Hopefully he wont though, he never did with his ex. They still have no formal arrangement and still fight between themselves and the child is 7.... That's what I DON'T want!

ETA: I was just thinking how ridiculous this is.. He would have to know that no court would give him full custody. He wouldn't want it anyway, so all this money and fighting would be a waste when the end result would be no different to what I'm prepared to agree to. I hope we don't have to go down this path...

Really hope everything goes smoothly hun, just wish you weren't having to deal with this though :hug:.

Regards,
Dianne

Consent orders aren't actually very difficult. I would suggest that you write down what you want as far as custody and access (and try to be reasonable to him) then contact him and say that this is what you want to have in place legally with consent orders lodged in court. Explain to him that it protects him as much as you in that his access to Jett will be guaranteed. He won't have to fight you to see his son.

Make sure you make clear what days he's supposed to have his son, what time pickup would be and when drop off would be. Detail information about who will have him for birthdays and Christmas and big events like that. And perhaps put in there that he may see his son at other times 'by agreement between both parents' or something similar.

If he agrees, then you can contact the Family Law Courts and they can give you information that will allow you lodge the orders yourself. It's not impossible for you to do it yourself, though it can be fiddly. But if you wish to see a lawyer (and it can be faster because they know what sort of terminology to use), you'll have all the details that you've already agreed to, and it'll be a pretty fast process because you've done the agreements ahead of time.

Now if he argues with what you're proposing, and you don't find his counter proposal agreeable to you, seek mediation immediately. The Family Law Court process should be a last resort because it's not the place to work out your differences.

Just a thought - is it a bit early to be thinking consent orders given Jett's long term medical needs are unknown? Jett might not actually be able to leave your presence for some time so visits might need to be with you there. Also, Jett might become a booby monster and want nothing to do with bottles.

Has he or his family come to the hospital at all? You haven't mentioned in your blog.

I think it's an excellent idea to have things in writing but just a few things I thought of.

Hope you are both well.

I'm sorry you're going through all this.

Consent orders are fairly straight forward if you can both agree. These days there's a fair bit of guidance and support through family relationships organizations and the like. Alternatively, you can attempt legal aid. In some circumstances people can qualify for legal aid assistance.

There's also the option of checking out local legal advice organizations that have free legal advice nights or by appt. if you're not sure what's around, google 'community legal centre' and your suburb or area.

If things get difficult or you anticipate things becoming difficult, I recommend you get a private lawyer if you can afford to.

It's so important to know your legal rights when it comes to these things and there are a few ways to learn about them that aren't too hard on the bank balance as a starting point, at least.

I hope this helps. Good luck. :-)

Fabfiona - J's dad see's him for an hour on a Sunday when his parents bring him up.. He doesn't drive and can't be bothred catching the train or asking his mates to drive him. He can't cope in a hospital environment either so contact is limited.. His choice.. While DS is in hospital he can see him whenever he wants because there is no order to say he can't.. I wouldn't stop him from visiting anytime in hospital.. I will stop him from having him overnight.. I have so many reasons for this but number 1 being DS will be breastfeeding. 2 DS will be on oxygen so will be unable to spend long periods of time away from my house.

I am happy to agree to XP having him for an hour a week on his own. That's all he wants now, I don't understand why he would want more once he's out. If he wants to see him more, I'll have to be there. Breastfeeding is extremely important to me and nothing will come between that. EBM in a bottle? Maybe. But I still wouldn't allow him to have him overnight.. I don't trust him not to smoke while he has him.. DS has chronic lung disease, no smokers allowed unless they take proper precautions like stay away, wash hands, change clothes etc.. I know for a fact XP wouldn't and he would think I was just being difficult making these demands.

Sorry I'm busy atm so can't go into details but you are welcome to have a look at mine with my ex husband.

just email me at melissaandmario@ hotmail.com