Missed Miscarriage

Hello, I have just found out that my baby died at approximately 9 weeks. I have to wait for it to come out or go for a D&C if not apparently, if nothing in 3 days then I have to see the doc for a referral to the hospital. Can anyone please tell me how long it took between finding out and the baby coming out? And does anyone know if the pain lasts long or if you can still do things like normal after a miscarriage or D&C? I have a big event coming up next weekend and don't want to miss it, I have already lost my baby, that's enough for now. :-( Wish I could cry but the kids are watching. I just want to bawl my eyes out. So sad!

So after reading online it sounds like a missed miscarriage always requires medical intervention. why would my doc tell me to wait a few days for it to come out? :(

Firstly Im so sorry for your loss.

I also had a missed miscarriage, on the 11/11 I went for my "dating scan" to be told to go to my DR, i knew something wasnt right I should have been 16w, Went to my Dr who read the letter stating there was no HB and bubs was only measuring 7w3d. He told me to wait a week, have another scan and take it from there as my dates might be out.
18/11 Internatal scan at hospital again showed no HB so I was referred to the Hospital for a D&C on the 19th i started bleeding went to the emergency dept, I didnt pass everything had to wait 3 days for a D&C I was only sore for 2 days after the D&C.
I dont mean to scare you with my story but this is my story.
I wish you all the best in the coming days and Weeks.

So sorry Cheezels :(

*hug*

I had a missed miscarriage 10 years ago. I should have been 14 weeks and my baby had died at about 11 weeks. There was no suggestion for me that I would wait to miscarry naturally. I had also just lost my fiance and TBH I wasn't in much of an emotional state to make any decisions for myself and maybe my OB (who was a friend who knew my personal circumstances) did what he thought best for me by not offering the chance to miscarry naturally. I had the D&C the next day and was pretty sore and crampy for 3 - 4 days but was able to get back to work in two days. Took some nurofen and that helped with the cramps.

I'm sure everyone is different, but I've had one D&C and five natural miscarriages and TBH I found the D&C easier to recover from physically and emotionally. Some of my natural miscarriages have resulted in me being close to bedridden for up to a week.

I'm so very sorry you have lost your baby. I hope whichever way you decide to go at least physically things are resolved for you quickly. I know emotionally things will take a lot longer. Go gently in the meantime, and lots of hugs for you.

I'm so sorry for your heartache right now, I too was incredibly upset when I had a missed m/c in 2009. It was highly recommended to me that I choose to have a d&c, and I did because it felt like the 'quickest' way for me to begin 'healing and recovering' and 'trying again'. I have never regretted my d&c decision, and as much as I still willed for THAT baby to be 'alive', I didn't want my 'womb to be its tomb'. Sounds weird I guess, but that was my thought process at the time....I was living minute by minute at that point, overcome by grief.

I truly hope Mother Nature is kind to you soon xx

I'm so sorry hunni :hug::hug::hug:

Im sorry for your loss. :hug: I had 3 missed miscarriages last year and a D&C with every one. Each time my body showed almost no sign of letting go so I unfortunately had to have the D&C. Its your body, you can choose to wait as long as you like before having the D&C, but be aware it could take weeks or even months to happen on its own. Your Dr has probably given you a couple of days to see if it happens on its own.

You said you dont want to cry in front of your kids, I understand that. Is there anywhere private you can go for a couple of minutes? Its really important to grieve because you are going through such an awful, traumatic experience. I know how hard this is. :hug:

Im so sorry for your loss Cheezels :hug: I also had a missed mc, at 11w, my baby had died at 9w and there were no signs my body was going to release the baby naturally and I was offered a d&c. I had my procedure the next day and I'm very grateful I didn't have to wait. Whilst it was very emotionally traumatic, physically I was up and about the next day with only mild cramping and regular period like bleeding. Some people do prefer the option to miscarry naturally and I assume this is why your dr gave you this option?

Thank you all. xo i am going to call in the morning for an appointment for a D&C. I cannot cope with this, its doing my head in. :-( i just want to move on. :-( so very sad.

My first pregnancy ended in a missed miscarriage, I was 13 weeks but the baby was only measuring around 9 weeks. I had my scan at a town about 2 hours away so drove back to my hometown to see my GP. He didn't even suggest for me to try and deliver naturally, and there was a gap the next day for a D&C to be completed (small country hospital). In a lot of ways I was relieved that I didn't have to wait to miscarry as I honestly don't know how long it would have taken. I too felt a bit crampy but was back at work within a few days....

I'm so sorry that you have had to go through this and my thoughts are with you.

Thankyou again everyone. I really appreciate your help. I'm so sorry for all your losses too. :-( I have an appointment today to request the D&C. I am so very scared but I need to do this and start to 'move on'. I just hope they can get me in this week.

did any of you have much pain for long after the D&C or where you able to do everything (sports included) like normal afterwards? how long does the bleeding last? I am one of those people who likes to know everythign in advance.

Cheezels, I am so incredably sorry for your loss.

I think it was three weeks from when i 'first' found out until I started bleeding. Ironically I started bleeding the day I was scheduled for my D&C.
I had minimal bleeding after my D&C (one or two days maybe) and not much pain at all (well not physical pain anyway).
The only things I got told not to do afterwards was no baths, no swimming (I guess cause of infections) and no tampons until your next period....It didnt actually stop me doing much and like you I just needed to do it to move on...

Hey hun,

I'm so sorry for your loss. :hug:

I had a blighted ovum in October last year. I had a small amount of spotting early one morning, then nothing for the rest of the day. I was scheduled for a D&C the following morning. Overnight, started bleeding, had a little cramping and experienced backache. By morning, the bleeding was a bit heavier and the pain was worsening. By 6am when I arrived at hospital, I was quite uncomfortable.

They will most likely give you misoprostol to administer vaginally - two small tablets that you insert yourself (they can do it if you don't want to do it yourself), that will begin to soften the cervix. The misoprostol needs a few hours to work so it may take a little while before they take you in.

About 30 mins after I inserted the misoprostol, I started bleeding quite heavily and ended up getting bumped up the O/R list and taken in really quickly. It wasn't the misoprostol, it was my body starting the natural miscarriage process. I lost quite a bit of blood but the procedure itself was quick and the relief afterwards that it was over was phenomenal. The pain had receded right down to a dull ache.

You'll have to stay in recovery a while - I think I was back in recovery by about 8am but slept til about 10am. Discharged around 12 noon, home by 1pm and into bed. I slept most of the afternoon, got up and had some tea and went back to bed. The bleeding was like a heavy period.

By morning (24hrs post op) I felt better but it took me a good three days to fully recover from the effects of the procedure. At the end of the second night, I felt shocking - splitting headache, nausea, diarrhoea, lethargic. Crashed in bed. That is most likely my own personal reaction to the GA, being pumped full of gas. By the next day I was starting to feel ok, physically.

I continued to bleed for maybe 5 days all up. Pretty much like a period - heavy to begin then slacking off. The physical pain was not really anything to worry about.

I really hope that helps hun. I was like you - I needed information. Let me know if there are any other questions you have. Please be gentle with yourself - I expected myself to be fine and then when I wasn't, it hit me really hard. We are all here for you :hug:

Hi Cheezles

I'm so sorry you find yourself in this predicament. It sucks and isn't fair in the slightest. :hugs:

I've had 2 Blighted ovums and both times I opted for a D&C rather than wait to MC naturally. I just wanted to get it over with so I could move on.

My first D&C I was 10 weeks 4 days along and I bled quite heavily and passed numerous clots. I bled for about 5-6 days and then spotted for almost a month.

This current D&C I was 7 weeks 1 day along and I had light bleeding for 4-5 days and I've spotted for 7 days give or take. I stopped spotting 2 days ago now and I'll be 3 weeks post D&C Friday.

Oh thank you so much ladies, yes that's what I was after, some detailed info. I neeed to know everything. Can anyone tell me if their husbands were their for the op (well not the surgery part but the rest of it) or if I'll be too 'busy' to have him there? I don't know what to expect.

My husband was there for there for the 'lead up', but not allowed to come in for surgery. He was also able to see me when I was in recovery. He was a great support for me the first time because I didnt know what to expect, and it was really great to have him hold my hand and hold me as I cried. He was only there with me for my first D&C though. I had decided it was torture to watch him cry and see him so upset before I went into sugery so I decided to do it alone for D&C number 2 and 3. Its a personal choice.

Im sorry you have to go through this:hug:

Me again, I know this sounds silly but does anyone have sny ideas of what i could use as a excuse for my surgery tomorrow? Something common/simple that no one will ask questions about? I cant bear the thought of others knowing what I'm going thru and dont want to lie but when i get asked i dint want to tell the fill truth. :-(

:hug: DG

Cheezels - I was alone for the procedure and afterwards. I took a taxi home. That was what I needed at the time for the headspace I was in.

I hope it goes well. You could always tell others that you had food poisoning. That is a good excuse that works well for you feeling yuch for two or three days. Will be thinking of you.

Cheezles you are under no obligation to tell them why you need time off. it's none of their beez wax. Ask to get a medical certificate to cover you. The medical cert will only say you are recieving treatment. If they push for a reason tell them it's personal and leave it at that.

My DH was there to drop me off so to speak but he wasn't allowed to wait with me. My first D&C he went to work and when I was 1/2 hour away from being released they rang him and he left work to pick me up. That D&C was really hard because I had a really insensitive nurse chatting with her fellow workers about her 10 week pregnancy and how much amniotic fluid the baby was in etc... lots of deatil I'm lying in recovery after having my 10 week old baby sucked out of me and I had to listen to that.

Anyway my second D&C was pretty much the same but DH didn't go to work he hung around the hospital until it was time to get up and have something to eat.

Cheezels, as Porsche said you are under no obligation at all. Have you told them you won't be in? Or do you need to call in the morning?

If you call in, just say you are unwell and will be getting a certificate.

Just a word of warning - emotionally, I was a complete mess for two weeks after the procedure. I was fortunate (???!!??!?!) in that I was actually on annual leave for a week when I miscarried but I ended up needing an extra week off - so I told my manager what had happened.

She was great and said take as much time as I needed.

But you do not have to tell them.

As for your DH - mine stayed at home with our kids, to give them as "normal" a day as possible. Mum came in with me - you will not be able to drive yourself home nor take public transport due to the GA. Nor will you want to, I'd say.

Anyway mum waited in the reception area with me, but then I was taken in by myself, and told mum would come in when I was in my gown and ready to go. But when I started bleeding heavily, they rushed me in and mum just had to wait. She didn't get to come in to recovery, but came into the day procedure area where you go once you are out of recovery but not ready to go home yet. So she sat with me there and got me to call DH, who'd been anxiously texting her, until I was ready to go home.

Hope that helps. I'll be thinking of you tomorrow. :hug:

Cheezels, I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. We went through a similar experience a month ago. I was given the option to wait to m/c naturally or go for the d&c. Since the u/s indicated the baby had stopped growing over 2 weeks earlier, I was told it could be a long wait and then still need the d&c anyway. Like you, I wanted it over so I could start to move on, so we went straight for the d&c, but we did wait 4 days to get the Dr I wanted. I told my employer I needed time off for a surgical procedure. With my history (multiple IVF and lap for endo) they thankfully didn't ask any questions.

As suggested above, I got a certificate from the OB to cover the time off work. The thing is, it had "**** Obstetric Group" written in huge letters in the letterhead. Thankfully my manager said he didn't need any supporting documentation for my leave application because that one wouldn't have left much to the imagination even though the letter itself just said I was unfit for work. I could just see someone reading the letterhead and blurting out "are you pg?". That would have gone down well... not.

Physically, I recovered very quickly from the d&c. I actually felt perfectly fine when I left the hospital that night (about 6 hours after the procedure because I fell asleep after returning to the ward) and my bleeding was manageable, although it lasted 2.5 weeks. Emotionally, I'm only just starting to get my head above water (today is exactly 1 month after the d&c). I cancelled all my obligations for the week of the d&c because I didn't know what to expect, but physically I would have been fine for all of them. I was just a basket case, so I only went to one that would have caused bigger problems if I missed it (my mum's birthday was 3 days after the d&c and we hadn't - and still haven't - told anyone about the pg or mm/c, so she would have been hurt and not understood why I hadn't gone).

My husband & DD came to the hospital with me, but left when they came to take me to pre-op. There was a reasonable wait between admission and going down to pre-op, so I was glad they were there. The hard part was waiting on my own in pre-op for what seemed like an eternity, but was probably about half an hour. DH only came back to pick me up after I was discharged because we couldn't have DD sitting around for hours waiting.

I hope everything goes smoothly tomorrow. Take care and be kind to yourself.

I'm so sorry for everyone in here's losses. Life sucks sometimes. :-(

Thanks so much! Op is today (I'm starving already and it's only 8 am). DD will come with DH and we will just see how it goes, we have lined up someone to look after her if need be. Hopefully it all goes well and is over quickly with not too many problems. I really need to move on.

Thinking of you today Cheezles. I hope everything goes well. Take Care. :hug:

Sorry for your loss, will be thinking of you today :hug:

Thinking of you today:hug:

Just wanted to send you some love and hugs. Will be thinking of you today. :hug:

Thinking of you today Cheezels...

Thank you everyone, I love this website! I had the surgery yesterday and already feel a lot betee about things. So sad still but just better to know it wont happen 'naturally' whilevi'm at a party or grocery shopping etc. side effects of the GA arent fun but otherwise good. Thank you all again. xx

:hug::hug: Lots of hugs hun xx

Glad to hear it all went ok. :hug: look after yourself

Oh honey, I am so sorry. I have no experience or advice. Just massive :hug: and all the support in the world.

Glad the procedure went well Cheezels. Rest up and take care of yourself while you start to heal emotionally too.

Hello. Not sure if anyone's still reading this. When you went through your loss chezels, I was celebrating confirmation of my first pregnancy. We thought we'd been lucky and conceived quickly.

Just over a week ago, our first ultrasound showed a very small baby, with heart beating.

Last Friday I had my routine dating scan for the twelfth week and insensitively been told that my baby had no heartbeat. We were gutted. Speaking to my gp and obs, I wanted to wait for things to happen naturally, but by sunday I had cried so much and felt in limbo, we decided to go in for a medical miscarriage (misoprostal).

After 3 hours I passed my tiny little baby, after 2 hours of light contractions. 1 hour later I was beginning to pass the placenta and was bleeding heavily which was scary. The pain was mild. We went to the local emergency department and was left bleeding all over their chairs until I was last. I continued to pass the placenta which horrified me, there was so much more tissue than I had expected. I just wanted someone to tell me that I was ok. The nurses knew nothing about gaenocology (i wouldn't go back there). Finally the doctor came (not a gaeno or obs..) and she decided to remove whatever she could. I was still bleeding heavily and passing tissue. It was an awful experience. I've been tender ever since.

My bleeding is light now, but I am concerned that if I have not passed all the tissue I will have to have another round of tablets or may eventually need to have a d&c. I want to avoid it as there is a risk of puncturing my uterus.

My husband and I are having a burial tomorrow. Still dealing with the emotional side, though my body has recovered well, better than a d&c by the sounds of it. We are both home for the week, hubby has been with me every step of the way.

Well thank you for hearing my story so far, if anyone is there.

Mrs Holmes I am so sorry for your loss :(. Hugs

I'm so sorry for your loss hun. So sorry. It really hurts, it sucks, it isn't fair. We are all here for you... :hug:

Cheezels, I'm really sorry for your loss hun. I hope you're travelling OK and I hope you've had good support around you :hug:

Mrs.holmes, I am so sad to hear news, my heart breaks you. It's such a dark place to be in. Will be thinking of you, your hubby and your precious angel tomorrow. Many hugs and I'm so sorry your little one couldn't stay :hug:

Im so sorry for your loss Mrs Holmes. Its really an awful thing to go through.

So many of these to you :hug::hug: