Probably at the lowest point in my parenting journey

I have to drain my kids savings accounts. To feed them.

X has owed me $100 since christmas. He was working flat out til then, but needed to borrow $100 from me.

I haven't pushed it to get the money back. He hasn't been back to work til now (bull**** excuse, but anyway)

Now I need the money. I warned him on Thursday last week. I bought us a fridge & need that $100 to cover food for the kids. Sure, he would get the money to me on Monday. Not til the afternoon, but with the 3 hour time difference, still time for me to get my shopping done.

Then a message to say he can't. He knows we need food. He knows exactly where I'm at.

Of course I had a go at him. I get a message back telling me if I'd stop partying I'd have money, & that I wanted the single life, I need to deal with it.

What a joke! HE was out partying this weekend. According to facebook woke up not knowing where he was! So I can only imagine where the money went for the kids food :(

Anyway. I already borrowed money from the kids accounts for petrol to get the fridge. Now I have to borrow the rest just to feed them :( I only started them a few months ago. They just got over the $100 mark (Just the 2 older girls) & I have to take it, then somehow pay them back :(

I feel disgusting.

You are doing the very best you possibly can for them. You are not disgusting, you are strong and a great mother. Please know that.

Sending all my love and strength to you.

You are doing what you need to hun. Don't feel horrible. It isn't your fault. Your X needs to take the blame too. :hug:

There's nothing disgusting about your behaviour, and nothing to be ashamed of. You're doing a fantastic job looking after your kids solo. My mum was a single mum from very early on in my life and I have nothing but admiration for mums on their own.

Oh hun, I'm so sorry you are going through all this.

I don't really have any words of wisdom I'm sorry... I just think you should keep in your mind that you are doing this for them. It is temporary and one day you will pay them back. One day. :hug:

Read the title of your thread: "Probably at the lowest point". The only way is up.

Hang in there xxxx

:hug: you are not disguting. You are doing the best you can with what you have.
That money was for your kids, you spent it ON your kids. Sure, it would have been better if you didn't have to use it, but it it's more important that you feed your girls than have the money sitting in a bank account. And like you said you can pay it back later.

I agree with the others you are not disgusting. Having an account of thier own is a bonus not a given. If you need that money then you use it. This does not make you a bad mother, you are doing the best thing by them. My mum was also a single mum and I you are doing everything you can to keep your head above water. They need to eat, not have $$ in a bank :hug: :hug:

I to agree with everyone else. Your doing what you should as a mother which is....do what you need to to feed your children. Dont you ever feel bad for that xxx

There will be plenty of time to put it back before your kids need it. We had to do it over the Christmas holiday break. We drained all of our savings and DD's too because DH had no work coming in. For five weeks we had no income and somehow we needed to survive. It feels terrible, I know. But you do what you need to do. We will put it back in DD's account slowly but we will do it, even if it's $5 each week. Hang in there. You're doing a wonderful job getting going in your new beginning :hug:

:hug: You are doing an amazing job and there is nothing disguisting about a mum using the money to feed her kids - regardless of where it came from - but I do understand you feeling terrible about it :hug:

there are plenty of things you could have used that money for that i might have said was pretty low, but using it to feed them is in no way disgusting or something to be ashamed of. even moreso when you were driven to do it because their father did not provide the money he should have.

you are doing the absolute best you can for your kids & you know the move was the right one & better for you & the kids. you should be proud of yourself at the moment & not feeling bad. hang in there :hug:

I couldn't have said anything better than anyone else. You are doing a wonderful job.

There is a disgusting part of the equation - but rest assured honey - it's not YOU.

Big big hugs.

You're doing fantastic, honestly. Try not to be so hard on yourself. You're doing the best you possibly can.

:hug:

Clover - feeding and looking after your kids is the number one, you are doing that so please be kind to yourself. You have to do things sometimes to get through. xxxxxxxx

:-( Oh chick, this is so sad. YOu are not disgusting, far from it - you are doing what anyone would do, provide for their kids as best as you can. I hope their Dad pays you back soon, to take the pressure off.

What everyone else said is what I want to say to. If your girls were old enough to understand I bet they would be giving you the money with a big smile on their face and a hug for you:)

Don't feel bad. You have put food in their mouths. You shouldn't feel bad for meeting that most basic need. *hugs*

:hug: Everyone has said it so beautifully, you're an excellent mum Clover, don't doubt yourself hun x

Hunny I would just be thankful that I had some money that I could take from somewhere. You can always put it back later. I have been in this position and while it might not feel great at least you can provide food for the kids. Tell X to pull his finger out and give back the money he owes you. No excuses. If he still doesn't then tell his family and they can make him pay it back :)

I know how bad as a parent you feel for taking from them, but you've done it for survival and to avoid the manipulation (small and large) that can accompany an un-mutual seperation. There's a HUGE difference between that and being selfish.....keep doing what your doing, because it is right for you, and only you has the right to judge-not anyone else. xx

Hun that does not make you a bad mum it means you are resourceful and thinking of ways around things. You and your kids need to eat so you found money.

Don't feel bad you are a wonderful mum and your kids will thank you when they are older xoxo

I'm not feeling so bad now. Long as I don't look at the bank :(

If he ever does give me money, I'll be paying them back & buying myself that bottle of Jimmy I can't afford. May as well enjoy these accusations!

I'll drink a Jimmy for you AND with you if you stop by Mindarie in Perth!! There's always a bottle saved for emergency-mate situations!!! And a couple of spare kids to keep us busy!! :)

I've raided my DSs money boxes for 5c pieces to buy milk. DH didn't give a *****.

You do what you need to do to get by.

Hugs.

Sorry things are so tough :( Are you claiming child support from him?

I'm sorry things are so tough for you. :hug:
But isn't that money there to look after your kids? It's not like you've taken food from their mouths to live it up yourself...

Yeah, I'm claiming cs, but he doesn't care. I 'chose the single life'.

They can't collect either, coz I don't know who he's working for. He works for different contractors year round.

Sunny09- next time I'm up that way ;)

Clover, I'm with everyone else. You have done the best possible thing by your kids in relocating them. Your ex is the issue, not you. You will have time to rebuild their accounts, some day - in the mean time they will have food in their tummies and an awesome Mummy who loves them and is doing an incredible job. Hugs love.

bilby got given $10 for xmas, it was assumed i banked it for her, but when i saw that $10 in the envelope, my first thought was "now i can buy bread, milk, butter etc", i felt very low doing that, so i now where you're coming from.

there seem to be alot of loopholes, to get out of playing Child Support (your ex is a case in point), the system sure needs sorting out.

i don't know your situation, but i'm reading between the lines, you might have just relocated, getting set up, buying a fridge etc. If my guess is right, setting up a new address is always an expensive thing to do, always messy. If you can survive the anxiety of a big move AND you're keeping your kids fed, clothed and safe in their beds, you're doing well Clover. Anything else is gravy.

i know, it still sucks. You would have loved NOT to ahve touched their bank accounts, i know hon.

Sometimes, you have to make choices that are not ideal. You could have chosen not to buy food. I think you made a good choice, out of the choices you had.

hugs.

I know Gigi. SIL gave me a Myer gift card for my birthday recently... I was kinda disappointed I couldn't use it for bread & milk :doh:

I've done that. Serially. And I've always paid it back. Abundance comes in waves so when the next wave comes in you'll be able to pay it back, and even add some. Don't feel bad. The hardships you're experiencing at this time are because you're laying the foundation for a better future for your kids. That is something to be proud of. :hug:

:hug: I know where you're coming from. I've been there too, and it feels horrible, but sometimes that's just the way things are. Money sux. You're doing the right thing by your kids. It will get better. Hang in there. :hug:

:hug: Hope today is a better day for you Clover x