When FF is looking more appealing than BF what did you do? BF problems

Hi everyone DD is 10 weeks old and exclusively BF, she feeds every 2-3 hrs through the day and was sleeping through 9-5ish She is now waking for 3 feeds in that 9-5 now and to be honest I feel like giving up, I am also having issues with feeding in public she hates being covered and I hate getting my boobs out for everyone to see. I do it anyway but It's not getting any easier which I thought it would by now.

I am a part of a mothers group who all had babies the same time and all 4 are FF babies ,much larger and sleeping through!
Everytime I feed her in the last week she tears on and off getting increasingly frustrated and crying until let down which is becoming longer and longer as I get upset. When she finally gets letdown she feeds for 2-4 minutes then is ready for the next side is that normal? I never feel full ever!!!! I havnt leaked in weeks and now that shes waking constantly overnight I feel like this may not be the best option for us. She is gaining weight, just incredibly demanding I cant hold her without her chucking a tantrum because she wants to feed.
I have bought some formula to try thinking about giving her a bottle before bed tommorrow night seeing If that helps with her sleeping.

Has anyone else been through this but still had a successful BF relationship? I know for us to succeed I have to change my views. What did you do to change your view of Breast feeding because I have read all the studies and breast is best and honestly FF is still looking more appeling? :redface:

well for starters, ff doesn't help them with their sleeping. why else does ff seem so appealing to you?

Luv. Do what you need to do :hug:

Maybe first, Can I suggest maybe talking to the ABA or your lactation consultant to see if they can give you some ideas and support.

FFing isnt always the easiest option. When I went back to work I stopped BFing DD and it went from 1-2 breastfeeds per night to 3-4 formulas :O

At the same time, you need to do what feels right for you....thats the most important thing.

Big :hug: I know how frustrating it can be

the twins are the only ones of mine we made it past 8 weeks we made it to almost 9 months.
the boys didnt sleep i was bf them BOTH 2 hourly day and night and not always together very tiring i tell you!
now they are ff since refusing to feed anymore and its solved nothing on average i get up 7-9 times a night and i really miss feeding them.


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I guess I feel more comfortable with the I can see what shes getting and Its not as upsetting for us waiting for let down and I wont have to stay in the house so much because I feel uncomfortable getting the boob out. Maybe even DP could help me

More appealing for you or for your baby? I got through thinking about my baby. I had a baby with tongue tie and he was lacerating my nipples for 4 weeks before the tie was snipped, and it took another good 6 weeks for his attachment to improve. I went through nipping mastitis in the bud a few times and nipple vasospasm (he was a winter baby, didn't help!). When he was in my belly I honestly had no idea how I would go feeding in public. When the time came (he was 2 weeks old and I was in a doctors surgery) I realised that as much as someone might 'see', they weren't going to 'look' and take out a video camera, and if they were going to get an issue about it it wasn't about me, but about their own issues. I wasn't going to NOT feed my child on the basis that a grown person had issues with something that was normal and biological, when my baby had a body that knew exactly what it needed to grow properly and knew exactly when he needed what amount. I couldn't argue with that or reason with that in order to satisfy someone's potential issue with my feeding. When you 'get your boobs out', you're really only getting one boob out, and it's not really 'out', it's in a baby's mouth, or aiming for it. Anyone who has a problem with it is old enough to know better and deal with it by themselves.
I co-slept with my babies (still sleeping with the 2yo) and my eldest fed every hour or 1.5hrs. If I'd had to get up to a cot or another room it would have done my head in, but he was right there and I barely woke for those feeds, so we both got great sleep.
Most of my MG was FF early on and I was most definitely the last one standing. I was grateful to have my ABA group that I met with more regularly anyway. Like-minded women, many with babies around the same age, too, so we could support each other through our issues and celebrate our successes (even if that meant just one more week resisting formula!).
You don't have to be a subscriber of ABA to go to the meetings (though subscribing helps send trainee counsellors in your area through the rest of their course) and get all the benefits of being in such a group. The ABA website has a group finder if you look for the Contact Us link.
So many of my friends got through their BF issues by going along to their local groups.
I also thought about it this way - these first years are such a blip on the timescale of my children's lives that I could put myself out for it and be able to look back and think "It felt like forever at the time and now look at my children, all independent and leaving home". And nothing beats the feeling of getting to six months exclusive BFing and high fiving yourself for getting through it.
My DS is still having a feed now and then and due to lose first teeth this year, when I expect his body's reflex will be to lose the sucking ability. That was not my BFing aim and now that I'm at this point it really feels like it was definitely worth the pain, the tears, the anguish. DD is showing no signs of weaning, and we've had our own share of BFing issues. Worth it :)

as long as shes gaining wet and has wet and dirty nappies shes getting enough.
can you try hand expressing before a feed to help with let down?

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I guess I feel more comfortable with the I can see what shes getting and Its not as upsetting for us waiting for let down and I wont have to stay in the house so much because I feel uncomfortable getting the boob out. Maybe even DP could help me

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Yes, I understand what your saying about the knowing how much milk she is getting part. Are you concerned about your supply?
And I understand the breastfeeding in public part too- I couldnt get passed it

Hi,

I'd say pretty much all of us have been through it. Know this: Mothers lie about sleep. There is such enormous pressure to get your baby sleeping through that women feel that they have to lie about it. It is simply normal for babies to feed 2-3 hourly - kind of like what we do (count the times in 24 hours you put something into your mouth - they tell us to have 6-8 glasses of water a day, for starters don't they?)
It's normal that your breasts feel just soft and normal after the first few week. and larger babies? Why is that a good thing, with the epidemic of obesity we are facing. Hang out in places that breastfeeding is normal - you could do no better than to join the Australian Breastfeeding Association. Mothers seem more prepared to be honest there.
Formula fed babies get sick more often and for longer. Its an important consideration when thinking of turning to formula

I struggled with this for many months while I comp fed - my BF journey wasn't anything like I had wanted or expected. Eventually I moved to FF when DS was about 21 weeks. Although I wouldn't say I regret my decision exactly (because I really, really struggled with it and took months to make the change), I still grieve the end of our BF relationship and look back and wonder if there was more I could have done to save it.

I think it's important to follow your instincts on this one, and I guess the positives of FF were, for me, it was easier to establish a routhine for DS because I knew when he was tired vs hungry, and it eliminated the anxiety and stress I was feeling about my supply, the nipple damage and pain, and having an unsettled/unhappy baby. But even with all that, I still feel very sad that I didn't breastfeed for longer.

Thanks ladys the main thing here is Bub and I honestly want to whats best for her, its difficult when I start to second guess whats best. I guess I should just stop comparing others to my own.

try not to compare, as it's impossible to know what exact factors might be the ones impacting their bubs ... is it formula, or more feeds, or genetics, or something else altogether ...

try also not to beat yourself up - you've just had a baby, you're getting used to having two babies, recovering from the birth, and getting used (again!) to feeding, waking at night, millions of nappies, and all the rest of it ...

and then talk with your DH, and decide what is best for you and your daughter.

personally, as I only had a short time of maternity leave I expressed quite a bit and DH did one of DS's feeds from the day he was born - so I always, *always* had the option to get at least one decent few hours of sleep (as even if I got up to express, you can do that almost asleep...). it made a wonderful difference for us. it worked for us. that might not work for you.

if your DD is having a growth spurt and just needing extra milk for a few weeks, staying in a routine and keeping to breastmilk would obviously be the best option for her, for her digestive system and immune system etc. she will go back to sleeping through before you know it.

is expressing something you'd be willing to give a crack? that way your DD can keep having breastmilk, but you can get some reasonable rest, if your DH does either the last night or first morning feed ... ?

there are potential down sides with formula feeding, as I'm sure you'll already know. but it's understandable for it to be tempting when you're tired and sore and wanting to sleep etc. you're not a bad person or a bad mother if you comp feed.

have a good solid think about what you want, what you can do, how you'll feel about the different options, and how long you're prepared to try different things. talk with your DH. talk to the ABA to get some tips from them too. don't make ultimatums or hard and fast rules for yourself, but do have a flexible plan in place.

big hugs whatever you decide :hug:

just listen to others' ideas and opinions, then decide what works for your family.

Hi Mummabee sounds like you have been doing so well with your little one.

Even though i've bf my 3 i will leave the feeding advice to some well informed ladies who i'm sure you will hear from very soon.

I do however want to say that it's only natural for bub to go backwards and forwards with the lengths between feeds day and night. 9-5ish was pretty awsome!! Each baby is different and with my DS1 he slept really well, but DS2 was a little more demanding and DD even more so. I promise you it is so much easier to relax and go with what your bub wants than it is to fight it. Try not to compare your bub to other bubs whether they are bf, ff, waking, sleeping through or anything else. Your DD is an individual and doing what she is doing for a reason. She might just want a hug from mum and yes you are probably exhausted but enjoy those hugs while you can because before you know it they'll be fewer and further between. My DD is 14 months old and only just now starting to sleep 7-8 hours a night :dance:

With the feeding in public yes it's tricky, it may get easier. It did for me now with #3 i have no problem with it :lol:. I have always done my best to be discreet, i stick to clothing that is easy access. I tend to wear the breastfeeding singlets under whatever it is i'm wearing so when i lift my top up to be able to feed my belly is still covered by the singlet. I wonder if this may help you? Mine never liked to be covered either, they were way too interested in knowing what was going on around them :)

Definately speak to ABA about the let down, the lenghts of feeds and knowing DD is getting enough. I'm sure they'll be able to reasure you it is all pretty much to be expected.

If you would like help from your DH maybe express some feeds and then he can feed your DD with EBM in a bottle?

For me with bfing DS1 i had a goal of making it to 3 months and then when we got there i thought, ok maybe we can now make it to 6 months and we did and once we got to 6 months bfing was second nature and all the difficult times in those early mothers were long gone. We fed through till 13 months. DS2 was 14 months and DD we are almost at 15 months.

As you have said yourself if bfing is what you want to do you do need to change for feelings/attitude towards it. For me i love breastfeeding, it has been tough but something i always wanted to fight for during those tough times.

Only you know what you want, what you're comfortable with and you DD will be telling you exactly what she wants. She is still so young, this being out in the big wide world is so new to her as is you being a mum.

Listen to yourself and your DD
:hug:

In the time it's taken me to write this there are many more posts, i hope i'm not repeating too much of what everyone else has said :lol:

I had never thought of the singlet idea I love it and am doing it tommoz lol I have one but i will buy more

You've had some fabulous advice so I will just add with a couple of tips that helped me feel less exposed when feeding in public. I would wear one singlet on top of the other so I could pull one up and one down. This was only the tiniest bit of breast was exposed, and that was covered by baby. The other thing I used was a maternity belly belt which covered my post baby belly, as I was more worried about that than breast.

Also, have a look for parenting rooms when you are out. There are lots, especially in shopping centres, that have nice feeding areas not in toilets. In other places if you ask they will often offer you a quiet place to feed so you feel less exposed. But remember, every time you are feeding in public and a young woman sees you, you have helped normalise it for her so that she feels less concerned about feeding her own children when they arrive. Small thing but it helped me if I was anxious about feeding in public.

Hugs hun. Breastfeeding has been one of the hardest experiences of my life, and I certainly understand where you're coming from. I remember lying in the emergency department with mastitis that needed iv antibiotics begging for a drug that would dry my milk up. Fortunately i had a wise nurse who was very evasive in her reply and went on to express for a year.

Honestly, one of the things that kept me going when things got really hard was looking at the ingredients on the tin of formula in the cupboard (ds needed a special formula so I had a tin in case of emergency). It was so processed and artificial that i couldn't bring myself to use it. I don't say this as a crticism of those who use it- i'm just telling you the rhing that got me through.

Lots of other women here will give you BFing advice - I'm still a newbie so I wont!

I just wanted to say that your bub sounds lots like mine. From 7 weeks, he was sleeping from 9pm - 5am...10 weeks hit and he started waking twice through the night, coming off crying multiple times during a feed, only feeding for a few minutes etc etc. After about 2 weeks of really struggling he turned a corner - is now feeding better, stirring once at night at around 3am for a quick feed (we cosleep and I feed him as soon as he stirs so he doesn't even wake and I can attach him and doze).

From all accounts the first few months can be tough - they have lots of growth spurts. I've found the Wonder Weeks iPhone app really helpful - it reminds me that 'this too shall pass'.

Good luck regardless of what you decide - sleepless nights are so hard :(

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Thanks ladys the main thing here is Bub and I honestly want to whats best for her, its difficult when I start to second guess whats best. I guess I should just stop comparing others to my own.

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Breastfeeding IS what's best for her (a long as its also working for you) Some reasons (IMO) to keep BF - (as long as that is what YOU want)
* Babies sleep patterns change so frequently as they grow and become more aware and awake. BF or FF won't change this.
* Most of my mothers group are also FF - but lots of those babies are not regularly sleeping through the night and they are dealing with other issues such as constipation etc.
* Those babies are having growth spurts/wonderweeks the same as my BF baby - but they can't just breastfeed for comfort like I can ;)
* There are also lots of colds and flu type bugs around at the moment- my milk is making antibodies that protect my gorgeous boy - FF doesn't do that either!
* We have also just had issues with eColi in the water - made me VERY grateful to be BF!

I LOVE BF (most of the time) but understand not everyone does.

YOU are doing an awesome job! Have faith in your body and its ability to give your baby all it needs - BUT if FF is what is best for you and your health (mental and/or physical) - then its OK to make that decision - and only you can make it :hug:

I read an interesting thing the other week (some of you will recognise where it's from), that breastfeeding is not just a biological reality - in humans it is very much a learned skill. In the past women knew about breastfeeding and how to do it, because they saw it. They saw their mothers BF, their older sisters, aunts, neighbours. Part of the reason we have lost that ability to start breastfeeding and stick to it is because it's been taken from our sight - into parenting rooms, under covers and into private spaces (especially since the glorification of the 'nuclear family', which is not a natural phenomenon at all in human history). No-one I know (and I know introverts and extroverts of all persuasions!) who breastfeeds ever does it to get some gratification from exposure. Therefore, I can't believe in the concept of 'discreet breastfeeding' because I don't know anyone who is INdiscreet about it - they are just feeding their babies, and any other concept overlaid on it is done by other people. You can never control what other people are going to think. People will think things even when you are covering up as much as possible - the very fact that you are breastfeeding, or breastfeeding outside of the home will be enough to send judgment flying your way. Are you going to alter your plans for setting up your baby's biological protections and emotional wellbeing based on things people MIGHT and DO think that you have no control over? That, if explained to your baby, would be met with a quizzical look, followed by a "just feed me" look? Judgment comes from small minds and what you are doing is much, much bigger than they are :)

Here's my two cents. In my mothers group I was only one of two that formula fed. I felt the odd one out and yearned to be able to breast feed.

Also, my son was one of the worst sleepers by a country mile. Multiple night wakings which didn't really settle down until he was 15 months.

You do what's best for you. However please don't rush any decision to give up breast feeding. One done its very hard to go back. I regretted giving up with my first son and I don't want you to do the same.

Well said Mayness.

I feel the need to be 'discreet' (or to at least try to be) for the sake of others not so much for me. I will feed my baby and i will not be made to feel uncomfortable about doing it in public. Like i said by #3 i'll do it wherever may need be if she decideds she's hungry. What makes me feel like i 'should' do this is the stories i've read/heard about breastfeeding mothers being targeted for doing so. Thankfuly i've never come across this myself. My one off 'bad expereince' was more so with the 'mother/baby' rooms themselves. I was feeding DS1 in my little cubicle one day minding my own business when all of a sudden a young girl came in crying and was followed by her mother who was screaming at her. She then quite forcefully hit the wall of the cubicle i was sitting in. I was in shock and slight fear, for the child for me and my baby. I was too scared to move, i'm pretty sure the mother thought she was alone in there, so i didn't know if making myself known could put me or DS1 in a dangerous position. I have never again used those cubicles to feed.

So why i try not to flaunt what i'm doing for my own self as well as others i will not be made to sit in a corner hidden away like it's something i should be ashamed of.

Some of the best moments of my day and looking down at my DD while she feeds, wondering what she's thinking and how she's feeling. I wouldn't miss this for anything.

How would you feel if you did give up breastfeeding and your baby still woke just as often overnight or even more? I think that is the most important thing to ask yourself as FF is not a magic cure for sleep problems so I would take that aspect right off the table. I personally think 3 night feeds are 10w old is pretty brilliant. Not many babies would be sleeping through at that age, in fact the average is a lot closer to 2 or 3. Being a mother is quite the competitive business and I wouldn't be surprised if people were stretching the truth on their childs sleep.

MB, it might be helpful for you to know that 10 - 12 weeks is a very common time for babies, no matter how they're fed, to start waking more often. Others have mentioned wonder weeks which is a great term. What we know about these times now is that they're periods of rapid brain development ahead of major milestones. So this extra waking is fuelling your baby's brain development ready for the exciting things ahead - sitting, crawling, babbling etc. Knowing the reason for it can help you to get through it. It might also help to know that the contents of your breast milk are exactly what is needed by your baby's brain and body at this time - so many complex things including live cells (some of which are stem cells that science is spending a fortune on trying to make available). There is absolutely nothing else that you can give your baby that will meet her biological needs as well.

These wonder weeks are a very difficult and tiring time for mums. I often think that the one around 3 months is the hardest, because this the time when we, and those around us, are expecting things to settle down. We've just started getting more sleep and there seems to be a lot of pressure for mums to "get on with things". This is where we really fail as a society. This the time when babies get less sleepy and more alert and demanding, and mums need just as much rest and support as they do in the early days. Many mums find it helps to keep grabbing rests during the day whenever they can, and to stop putting unrealistic expectations on themselves. It is ok to ask for help - meals can be a life saver, or some baby sitting while you rest. Having some washing done for you can really take a load off (pardon the pun).

It also comes as a surprise to many mums that babies can feed so quickly at this time. I reckon all mums at some stage convince themselves that they don't have enough milk. To quote Barb, giving a bottle allows you to see how much they take, but still tells you nothing about how much they want or need. Your little one's nappies show you that she is getting enough milk - what goes in must come out. We measure, time, weigh everything in our lives, but sometimes it's ok to just trust and know that every thing's ok because baby is weeing and pooing and happy.

You are doing such a great job and are on the cusp of being through the hardest time as a new parent. Pat yourself on the back hun.

How is it all going MummaBee?

I just wanted to say, that a lot of what you are saying sounded just like the thoughts rolling around in my head when DD was about 3 months old. I'd just started going to my mothers group and TBH, I envied how 'easy' FF seemed. I was always worried about whether DD was getting enough milk and I hated BF in public. TBH, I often wished for an excuse not to BF (e.g. I was hoping someone would tell me DD wasn't putting on enough weight). I will add that my husband had an extremely big accident when DD was 9 weeks old, and could literally do nothing for himself, so I'm sure some of my feelings (especially with how 'easy' it seemed) had something to do with the added stress of this. Anyway, I gave DD her first bottle of formula one night when DD was in hospital (again) at about 18 weeks (I was sooo tired and DD was screaming when I was offering boob, I literally felt at my wits end and I was all alone with no one to help :(). I felt so guilty, yet also relieved. By 6 months she was fully weaned (I didn't plan for this to happen, DD just started to prefer the bottle). Whilst I felt a relief at the time, I now look back on it and wish I tried harder. I'm really hoping that next time I am able to BF for longer. DD started childcare at 6 months (when I went back to work) and has had so many colds since. I often wonder if I could have prevented that by BF for longer....
Anyway, I think you need to do whatever feels right for you and your baby at the time. You have been given lots of excellent advice above if you want to continue BF. I'm sure you will also find lots of support if you decide not to.

Hi everyone so I gave in that night and tried to give her a bottle which she refused anyway pretended I was feeding her poison. The next morning she has little red cheeks I checked her mouth and there it was her first tooth at ten weeks thinking this is why she has been so fussy and pulling on and off so I have just continued as per normal its not getting any easier yet shes very unsettled but it helps knowing she wasnt hungry it was something else if that makes sense lol
So the plan is take it one day at a time and try as hard as I can to make it to 6mnths wish me luck ladys your support has helped me continue so thankyou

Good work! You are doing an awesome job. You should be proud. I'm sure you can make your goal. Like you said, take it one day at a time :)

Sounds like you're doing really well. Taking it one day at a time seems like a really good plan. GL with reaching 6 months.

Good on you MB.
I can understand your frustrations with BF. It's not easy for everyone early on. My dd had trouble latching, she would scream for 8 hrs non stop and we had six weeks of 1.5hrly feeds day and night. I was so close to giving up but the benefits of BF for my dd outweighed the struggles for me and we pushed through and survived it. She is now nearly 15 months and Monday was the last time she had a bf. She is rarely ever sick and I feel so proud of our achievements and giving her the very best start in life. You're doing a great job. It's hard if noone around you is BF and can understand your struggles but You will get loads of support from women on BB who have been through similar experiences. Keep up the great work :)

Just quickly, every one has given you brilliant advice and support already. If you are worried about how much she is getting, i used to weigh DS naked, feed him then weigh him again (because he wasnt putting on weight) and he was heavier.


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Angelpants - did you have specific baby scales, or how did you weigh him?

Formula feeding has always been more appealing to me. I struggle with breastfeeding so much. I have a sensory processing disorder and I find breastfeeding very confronting, and I feel a lot closer to bub when bottle feeding than attached to my breast. So both my boys ended up bottle fed. But that being said I wanted to breastfeed so bad, I felt I had let my boys down with my problem so when my baby girl came along I was determined to breastfeed her even though everything in my body screamed not too.

And it was tough. She's had a bad latch right from the get go, and had a click until about 7 months of age. She fed hourly until 6 months which was so demanding and exhausting not to mention so stressful as I wanted to throw her across the room many times. But we stuck at it and we recently got to 12 months. And I am so glad I stuck at it through all the complete crap.

I didn't manage it alone though I had a lot of support, friends, forums, ABA meetings. I moaned and cried constantly and found support (especially from women here) to help me make it through another day. And I must admit, I didn't do it exclusively. She had some formula and bottles at times when it all got to much for me. I think support at breastfeeding is imperative because it's not easy.

Fwiw I have had two bottle fed kids and 1 breastfed and the breastfed baby was the best sleeper. And whilst I hated breastfeeding my baby I am loving breastfeeding my toddler so I am very glad I stuck to it. I am all about choosing to feed the way you want. I still believe my choice to bottlefeed my boys was the right one at the time, but I have also learnt (the hardest way possible) that the breastfeeding journey is worth it if you want it to be. Hth a lot. I have been standing on that line so many times looking between breast and bottle so I know how you are feeling.

hey love,
just wanted to mention that Jacquie E had cross over tops recently. while not strictly bf tops, they are very discreet... particularly if you get a good bra or a feeding single that only exposes the nipple part.

My first bub was just one of those babies that didn't like to be distracted while feeding, it was inconvenient and frustrating always having to find a quite, dark room to feed in. I stopped feeding him at 7.5 mnths to go on medication (ivf stuffs) to get DD .... felt horribly guilty in the lead up, beat myself up terribly about how awful I was but within a week I changed my tune. FOr us, at that time, it was absolutely the right decision and life became a little easier.

In saying that, going from bm to ff can be difficult and clog them up a bit. so do it slowly if you can, if you do it at all.

I find that babies ebb and flow with feeding. When teething or sick or gonig through a wonder week they become difficult, chomp down, reject the boob, want to feed like a demon regularly... argh! not the nice calm predictable usual feeds! but as suddenly as the difficult behaviour came, it goes !!! I also find when AF is due, bub becomes fussy.

oh, and if it helps. my dd fed every 2 hours for about 3 months with only a 4 to 6 hr sleep overnight. She didn't really 'sleep through' or settle iinto a more predictable feeding pattern til 4 months.

I'm sure someone else mentioned it, but another good option for the night feeding demon is to have bub in bed with you (kick partner out if you need to) and just let bubba have free reign. It's amazing how you get soooo much more sleep like this and it's good for bub to be so close and good for your supply. IF it's cold weather where you are, just make sure you are both dressed snugly so you don't have to worry about blankets over bub (if that's a concern).

And whatever decision you make IS THE RIGHT ONE. you are doing a fab job and you are a great mum. there is no right or wrong in this game, just what works for you. keep up the great work and if you feel like you guys will handle life better on formula, then don't feel guilty for choosing that path. I hope things settle soon and you get your feeding mojo soon.

good luck hun! :)

We have ones that show grams and kilos so I would put the scale on the table, pop something for him to lie on, put it back to zero and weigh him naked. I think I used a baby bath with a blanket?

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Guess what I have made it to three months woohoo

Yay MummaBee


xoxoxoxox

Woo hoo!!! You've done so well, 3 months is a really big milestone!! Hopefully you may feel you have done the hard yards now and it will be a little easier from here on in. It was for me so i hope it may be for you too. Good luck xoox

well done!! :confetti:

that's great :D

Well done! :clap: you should be proud of yourself. What would you like to make it to next? You should reward yourself for your effort!