How often do you spend time with your DH/DP?

So I guess this is kind of a little vent too. I swapped a shift at work so both me and DH would have today off to spend together. DH works 6 days and I always work either a Saturday or Sunday. But as soon as he is awake this morning his phone starts going off as usual. Someone needs a lift, someone needs to borrow money, someone having issues about something, anything! DH's problem is he can't say no. So I am sitting here alone, on my day off.
It seems that every time I have an early finish at work, DH has to work late. When I am working late, DH finishes reasonably early. At first it was funny and we laughed, but now it's just gone beyond irony (correct word?) and it's really taking it's toll. I feel like we just pass each other by all the time. It's even got to the point where Dh can't sleep in our bed because he HAS to have the TV on to fall asleep and I can't stand ANY noise when I sleep. So he is usually on the couch.

So is this normal? How much do you see your DH/DP in between work?

Quite a lot, but DH studies during the day and his timetable is pretty flexible, and he works nights. We try to spend quality time together and I guess it's good in the way that we will both choose each other to spend time with given the choice. That being said, if it's not going to be good time spent together, we'll do our own thing (something our counsellor has emphasised).

Not much time at all. I go over to my mum's pretty much every day, whether he's home or not, and come home around 9 at night to go to bed. I don't really like spending time at home, I get so bored and stir crazy. At least at Mum's I have someone to talk to, and don't have to compete with the Xbox... Sometimes he joins me over here for dinner...

Yeah, we've got a pretty crappy relationship dynamic.

Every day. After the kids are in bed we stop what we are doing and spend at least an hr together in the lounge either watching a show or talking. It's bloody hard with 2 kids, I work pt and DH works full time plus weekends on our photography business but we make it work most of the time!
We also get a day away together once in a while when mum and dad have the kids so we will make the most of that.

Mon,Tue,Wed I hardly see DH at all as he works long days. Thur,Fri and Sunday though he has off and we try at least once a week to have some quality time together. He picked up some extra shifts this week though and I've been finding it hard


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My DH works 6days a week too and up until recently I worked full time 5days a week, each doing long hours. We tend to spend all our free time together, wether that is visiting people together, working around the house, or just chilling. We have the opposite problem though and feel we don't see other people enough.

I see DH after work anytime between 3.30pm & 6pm then depending if I have things on from about 8pm onwards then on the weekends half a day Saturday b/c atm DH plays cricket (last week though) and all day Sunday.

Quite a bit. DH works nights and goes to bed at 2:30pm, so we usually hang out between 7am and bed time unless one of us has something on.....we also have a date night once every 6 weeks and try go away for a weekend once a year. It is tricky with a disabled 4 year old and clingy 11 month old but it works for us lol

Dh and I are lucky to see each other for an hour a day, if we are really lucky we will get 20mins of alone time together. we are definately ships passing through the night. Although Im a sahm, his shifts are long so we dont see each other much. He gets up with the girls in the morning so I can get some sleep. We have brekky then his is off to work. I try and stay up until he gets home and most nights I do, but sometimes he will come home to me in bed.
DH has two nights at home, so that is our time after the girls go to bed. One night is our special dinner night and we have dinner late so we can have some alone time, and the night is ours.

Sometimes I worry we spend too much time together and we might get burnt out but at the moment it is great. Basically anytime it is physically possible we are together so outside of work hours or having to tag team with the kids (one needs settling, other needs a bath or something) or factilitating some sort of need (a sleep in or shower type thing). We cook together, game (mmorpg) together, do the shopping as a family, go to the park, do any of the tidying or errands that I haven't managed to get to during the day, watch TV, hang out at my parents or with friends, just sit and talk or goof around, stalkaly watch people from the balcony lol. Since we have lived together we have never missed a night of going to bed together, usually around 9 or 10ish and then fall asleep sometime around 11 after a cuddle and chat and (children permitting) other things haha.

He used to be able to come home for lunch everyday but then we moved too far for it to work, I really miss that!

A fair bit. Most evenings after the kids are in bed ( except for mondays when my mum is here), Saturday afternoons and generally all day Sunday.

Like Jellyfish, I sometimes worry that we have too much time together too. DH works from home and I'm home with the kids so we're always around each other. Otherwise, his outside interest is golf which he plays on Saturday mornings and I don't have anything regular outside the house for me so we're pretty much in each other's pockets 24/7.

Thanks for the replies ladies!

Dh and I used to live in each others laps (before work). But 10 years on, 3 years of marriage and full time jobs keep us so busy. And we don't even have kids yet! :lol: We spend every night together, but just eating dinner, showering and going to bed for work is not my idea of 'spending time' together.

Very rarely, DP works 6-7 days a week, generally up and out the door as we get up (or before) and generally home around dinner time.
Tuesday night we do invoices together but it's not really together time.
Otherwise we watch telly at night but both girls are night owls and we normally entertain them.
Every now and then MIL will take them for a few hrs and we've recently started taking the girls out on the boat if he happens to finish early.


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I work away for 15 days straight, then I'm home for 13 days. On the 13 days, our plan is to spend as much time together as possible (good, quality time) and when I'm away, skype and phone calls are our friend :)

We have to be intentional about it. Otherwise it ends up that Rhino goes to bed, and then we retreat to our respective computers... :redface: :lol:

So I think we try to have an hour together most nights; and then on the weekend we try to take advantage of Rhino's nap time. Or we will go out for a drive, and engage whilst being out and about. There's something comforting about just being in each others 'space'.

We spend time together but sometimes I feel like we're not actually together. So it's not just about being physically together but also connecting.

I don't feel like we're connecting very well ATM if I'm honest about it...

We spend a lot of time together but it's not 'us' time because we have the kids so our focus is on them. We have no family support or babysitters so I think we've been out once just the two of us in the last two years. It's definitely taking its toll.

Quite alot, DH is home at 5 unless has something on, so we hang out most evenings, kids are about till around 8, but I count that as together time as are chatting, laughing etc. Then he puts on TV shows and we both half watch, discuss, are on computer but we are next to each other so do are own thing but are chatting etc at same time. Weekends are always doing stuff altogether as family, he goes to watch quite a few sports things but AFL and NRL we normally go too, soccer is normally on his own but today we all went. We don't get out much on our own without the kids but don't feel missing out really. I don't really designate parent time, family time etc is just one big mish mash but I would say 75% of time he is not working we are together.