I'm in way over my head [VENT]

Before i start i would like to say that if you have nothing positive or anything helpful to say please don't comment. Last time i posted about this i was left feeling pretty lousy.

Here goes...

Back in 2009 i took out a personal loan of just over $15k to move into a house with my DP. It paid for our bond, furniture, white goods and i bought a car. All was good until a short time later i was made redundant at work. I went into my bank and explained i couldn't pay my loan repayments for possibly up to a month. They said they understood and would freeze my account. Well, they didn't. The repayments came out every week for about 6 weeks until i got another job, i wasnt paid enough to get my bank account back into +$ so they stopped the direct debit and i had to pay manually. I fell behind, i tried to catch up and then eventually i was just so far behind they sent my debt to a debt agency.

I lost my job again, then fell pregnant and because my pregnancy was really bad i couldnt work very much so just kept falling behind. I then started ignoring them when they called. I did try and work out a payment plan a few times but they wanted more than i could afford. I applied for hardship and was knocked as they believed based off my DP's salary and our expenses we could easily afford the debt, how they came up with that i have no idea as literally we had no money.

Over time i just avoided all calls, hung up, screened my calls but recieved letters every fortnight.

Today i recieved another call, saying i owed close to $25k from all the interest and they needed a lump payment of $17,500 by this friday or court officials, the sheriff... im not sure i went into shock and couldnt hear her properly... would come to my house and put lovely red stickers on any belonging i have worth money to put to auction to pay the debt. I explained i don't have that kind of money, neither do my friends or family but she said they didn't care... which to be honest i dont blame them.

I was offered the option of bankruptcy which is looking like what i will be doing.. now i am just so upset and angry i let it get this far. But having spoken to family about it they turned their backs saying its my mess i have to clean it up.

DP is printing off the forms today and tonight we will be filling them out. I feel like such a failure, i look at DD and want to burst into tears as ive let her down. This will go down as by far the worst thing i have ever done...

So yes please don't kick me when i am down. Also i can't work out any kind of payment, live off 2 min noodles as its heading right for legal actions and i really don't have $17,500.... even if i sold all my stuff it wouldnt come close..

Now to go off and cry my eyes out.. :crying: :crying:

My brother got into a lot of financial debt and ended up going to fox symes and associates (sp?) and they took over all his debts and so far he has not had any troubles and they really help him out. While with them he has a zero credit rating so can not even get a new phone contract so all temptation is stopped. His debts were a lot more then yours so maybe they could help you?

We had a bad run in with fox symes a few years back. DP got himself in debt before i met him and they were supposed to help him but they didnt. Hes all out of the woods now. But seems im in them now..

Thats is a run of bad luck for you both. That is my only suggestion. Your in a very unfortunate situation, I hope you find some light at the end of the tunnel, are then any free financial aid places you can contact, maybe centerlink has a contact, or even a legal aid?

Oh hun :( I'm constantly juggling finances to make ends meet and when we miss mortgage repayments I live in fear of those phone calls... I feel a smidgen of your pain... :hug:

What about My Budget? Can they help?

What about a debt consolidation loan?

Just wondering if there are any other options before bankruptcy. It is a pretty final thing... but if that is the road you have to walk, then we will all be here to support you.

You are not a failure. Is your daughter happy? Fed? Clean nappies? I'm sure the answers to those are yes. Then you are not a failure. You might be struggling to handle money, but that is so common it isn't anything to feel like a failure about.

:comfort:

I'd recommend making some calls before submitting the bankruptcy claim.

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... are then any free financial aid places you can contact, maybe centerlink has a contact, or even a legal aid?

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Or the Salvos? Smith Family? I'm going to do some googling for you.

The Salvos offer emergency relief, material aid, advocacy, referral and support to people in personal and financial crisis. This is The Salvation Army Community Services Centre in Canberra:

Canberra Community Services Centre
4 Hawdon Place ****SON ACT 2602
PO Box 1038 ****SON ACT 2602
Ph 02 6247 3635
Fax 02 6257 2791

I'd start with them.

Call a company callled Credit repair Australia or my budget. I have a contract with them and they contact your creditors and they freeze all the interest. Plus it stops the harassing calls and letters. PM me if u wanna ask q

STAY AWAY FROM FOX. My agreement was with them and of the $7k I paid back it went to them for fees and the creditor got $300 in 2 years

Not sure if the laws are different over east than here, but a little-known loophole is that the bailiff does not actually have the right to enter your house without your permission. He can knock on the door and you can just ignore him. Also, do you have proof of who bought what of value within your house? ie if your DP bought the tv, does he have a receipt from his credit card or whatever? It can be very difficult for bailiffs to execute warrants when a couple isn't married, and when a debt isn't in joint names.

It doesn't solve your problem by any means, but could mean that you don't end up all sitting on the floor staring at four walls.

I was in a pretty tough position lots of years ago too and the feeling of dread every time the phone rings is just awful. Bankruptcy is not the worst of all possible options but it does impact significantly on your future lending capacity so try to think of that when you and your DP are discussing where to go from here. You're very young, and have a long life of potential lending in front of you so make sure you've exhausted all other options before you go down that road.

Good luck.

Just googled My Budget. They might be able to help - give them a call.

Was just popping back to post the exact same thing OP posted:) I agree, exhaust every avenue before you file for bankruptcy.

I agree with the other posts, while bankruptcy is certainly an option it should be a last resort, please explore the other options first. Even if you don't proceed at least you are making an informed decision about bankruptcy rather than finding out in a few years time that you could have and would have preferred to do things a different way. While bankruptcy does help make the situation go away in entirety, it's also something you have to live with - potentially for the next 7 years. That means very limited availability for credit and if you do get a job in the future, potential garnishing of wages etc.

Whatever you choose, please seek help for your future finances. There is a positive in this situation. You are in the worst spot now because you are trying to back pay for old debts and also live your life now. I totally understand why your funds don't stretch this far. To make sure you don't get back into this position and feel the way you do right now, I recommend getting help from my budget or even handing your finances over to your DP or a family member. This makes you accountable for the way you spend your money and can help you to get back on track and even get ahead.

Big hugs hun, I know you are trying so hard to do the right thing for you and your family. These debts are from the past, you can't change the situation now. All you can do is make sure you deal with it the best way, make an informed decision and then make sure you are never back here again.

Sh*t hun :( I'm so sorry. :hug:

Do not go into bankruptcy unless you really really have to. Trust me. I am a bankrupt through a business failure and DP and myself owed hundreds of thousands. We lost our house. Do not fill out those forms without good financial advice first, it is not something you can back out of and will have lasting financial ramifications for years and years. You could still end up losing your car as well, and lose any credit cards or post paid mobile accounts as well. Try for a section 8 i(I think it is called) instead. You will still have to repay the debt but at a more manageable rate.

Please, please get qualified financial advice before doing anything.

I just want to crawl up in a hole and die to be really honest... cant believe ive let it get this bad.

Ill be back later to read through everything properly..

No advice, just wanted to give you a :hug: Hope you can work something out. :hug:

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I just want to crawl up in a hole and die to be really honest... cant believe ive let it get this bad.

Ill be back later to read through everything properly..

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I know exactly how you feel. It was one of the most stressful times of my life. But now is the time to go out and get help. If the sheriff is already coming around, it probably means the debt company has been to court and got an order to seize property. One of our creditors was going to sell our house to recover a $25,000 debt. The bank can force you into bankruptcy but do try every other option first. Have you kept all the letters? Open them and go through them to find out what your bank plans to do. Call the salvo's and make an appointment ASAP, and get proactive. Don't let your DP file as well unless he really has to.

I don't really have any advice other than what other people have suggested but wanted to send :hug: anyway. I know how overwhelming being a few hundred dollars in debt is so I can't even begin to imagine how you must be feeling. Try to relax (easier said than done) and look at things from a calm and open perspective.

Come on LMS, you can do this, don't let them just do what they want. You can no longer ignore the situation, the ladies have all given you some great leads to try and help so start fighting. Stand strong and show them that while you have made a big mistake you are going to do whatever it takes to make things right.

Oh hun your still young and you've made mistakes, we've all been there.
DP & I looked at bankruptcy at one stage, it's something i DID NOT want to do without exhausting all other options first so PLEASE look at what the girls are telling you and call my budget or another debt consolidation place, talk it out with them.

It's so hard these days, but try and stay positive and work through it as best you can.

LMS - get on up out of that hole. You are not going to die and the ground will not swallow you.

Make some calls. Decide who to call first. I would start with My Budget. Here's the number:
1300 300 922

If they say "No, too much, sorry can't help" then call the Salvos. Immediately.

Don't delay. Please hun. Find some strength - for your DD and your bump.

A friend works at debt assist in Melb not sure if they are in ACT but I know you can file another type of agreement before bankruptcy that as others have said it freezes the debt and they work out payments that you can afford.

Get off ya bum and make the calls, you have two children to provide for. Bankruptcy is major stuff and should be the last option when there is no other option.

You've made a mistake, we all do at some stage but learn from that mistake and do something about it, this isn't just going to go away.

You've been giving all the numbers you need to call by previous posters so now call them, or it will get worse.

Double post

i think the PPs have given some fantastic advice, i hope you can find the strength to make some calls :hug:

you know what - crap happens. we all make mistakes. it can feel overwhelming & sometimes easier just to ignore it & hope it goes away. but i really think you can do this - you can face up to it, make some calls & get things happening. if you do end up having to declare bankruptcy - life will go on. sure it'll make things a bit tougher but it's not the end of the world. absolutely exhaust those other options first - and please don't feel bad making the calls or asking for help. the people you'll be speaking with hear similar stories every day. they're not going to think badly of you or anything like that.

:hug:

Hun, Crawling into a hole isnt going to help.

It is good that you realise that you have behaved irrisponsibly but the next step to that is standing up and facing the music. It is going to hurt but you are an adult and have adult responsibilities.

Because you have not been cooperating with them until now I think that you are going to find it almost impossible to get any allowances from them now. They don't care that you are 20 week pregnant and they don't care that you have a medical condition. They just want their money (which I think on some level you understand). So what you have to do now is work out the best way to get through what is happening.

Firstly, deal with the Sherrif - declaring bankruptcy isn't going to stop the Sherrif coming - it will just be the Sherrif on behalf of someone else in a few weeks so why not let that happen now and start dealing with the consequences now rather than in 10 or 15 weeks time when you really won't want to.

The Sherrif can come and take most things from you except the essentials for day to day living - and what you think are day to day living and what they think is different. They think that a fridge and washing machine are essential so you can keep them, televisions, cars, jewellery, computers and gaming machine aren't and are fair game as far as they are concerned. Having said that, Sherrifs tend not to be unreasonable people, but they have a job to do. So if you cooperate and are helpful and can put forward a reasonable case as to why they shouldn't take something then you are more likely to keep it than if you are screaming like a banshee or threatening (or being) physically threatening [not that I am saying that you would - just trying to illustrate a point].

But, once the Sherrif has been your debt doesn't disappear, it is just cut down by the amount that they can sell your stuff for. But then you have to get on with repaying it.

There are many ways that you can save money in your everyday living so that you can pay off your debt. Even if you declare bankruptcy (which I don't recommend - at least until you have seen a financial counselor) you are still going to be left without heaps of "stuff" that many people feel is almost essential to everyday life so you are going to have to work towards buying all those things again. If you are keen I would be happy to come around one day and go through the ways that you can do it. You are really lucky that you like in one of the cities best set up to assist people when they hit on hard times - there are an amazing number of resources available.

Just a personal opinion: My parents had to declare bankruptcy when I was a kid (it was a LOT of money, failed businesses) and it sucked. Really sucked. It was hard even setting up a phone account, everything cost loads more because you were automatically put onto the highest interest rate. They've bounced back now, but it was tough. Bankruptcy isn't going to make it go away, I still remember the people coming into our house and taking our stuff away. It was scary.

Call the numbers, get some help. What's good for you doesn't always feel good.

good luck hun! no advice but sending you hugs. Just try to focus on the future if you can... if you get on the phone, sort it out with the numbers/people pps have given then the weight off your shoulders will be tremendous.

i was i a world of hurt with credit card debt about your age, fortunately I met my dp and with his very frugal ways, he was able to help me dig myself out. it took a few years to pay off all my debts and if we take loans etc I never have my name on them. But i tell you, once we had a plan in place and i could clearly see a way out, things just started looking up.

definitely go get some free financial advice first. lots of places offer help.

hugs! and hope things start to look a bit clearer for you guys soon. ox

Just letting you all know im not ignoring you, ive read every response i just need to process it all and work out where to go from here.

DP wants to sit down and chat tonight, we'll write up our budget and see what we can do.

I have never been so terrified in my life.

:grouphug: Thanks everyone.

You can do this.

Contact the bank and talk to them about drawing on your superannuation. In certain circumstances, you can claim it in times of financial hardship. It takes some time to get it sorted (for us it took six months) as an independent company from the bank and the super company has to approve it. Our bank was good because they gave us the time to get it sorted and we didn't miss a repayment in that time. Try not to speak to the person who answers the phone, climb higher. We were speaking to supervisors and managers who were in a position to make the decisions. There are a lot of fees that come out of your super doing it this way, but it meant for us we could keep our house.

Be strong. I've noticed that the last few times the banks have called, the people are getting quite aggressive which suggests to me that times are tough and they're calling a lot of people. Last week we missed a car repayment (didn't get to the bank) and I got a call from someone in the bank's head office telling me that he was going to repossess the car - over a $90 missed repayment :shakehead: I just said no worries. Nothing else I could say really. I knew it was pretty extreme from him.

Stop worrying and call them and see if you have any options before you go down the bankruptcy path.

First of all I want to give you a big :hug:. This situation totally sucks. From what you've told us, I think this has gone far beyond the point where you are your DP can solve it. And it is now time critical. Every day, that you don't act is going to hurt more, and that includes today.

Waiting for your DP to get home tonight so you can try and nut out a budget, is just going to be another day lost. If you call My Budget and the Salvo's and start getting the professiona helpl you so desperately need TODAY, you and your DP can sit down tonight and begin making real progress. They will be able to give you a host information that we can't, information that will let you and your DP start taking action and making decisions TONIGHT.

Please call now. Don't let another day of doing nothing make this situation harder for you and your family. :hug:

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Decide who to call first. I would start with My Budget. Here's the number:
1300 300 922

If they say "No, too much, sorry can't help" then call the Salvos. Immediately.

Don't delay. Please hun. Find some strength - for your DD and your bump.

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*hug* I know how scary it can be to be in debt and not be able to repay it. It's an awful feeling. But, you CAN fix it and move forward.

If you receive any payments from
Centre link (not including FTB) eg parenting payment and have been for 6 months you may be able get a letter from them that may help you to withdraw from your superannuation under financial hardship grounds. Centrelin k can also give you details of local financial planning/budgeting services, as well as material aid (food vouchers/parcels, vouchers for clothes, nappies etc)

You have options. Good luck xx

Hun, I have to agree with Miss E. This sounds like a dire situation - waiting until DP gets home is another day lost.

Call the Salvos or My Budget NOW. Call them and at least find out if they can help. Then when DP gets home you can be armed with info and say "I called My Budget. They can do XYZ. I want us to go see them tomorrow." or "I called the Salvos. Someone is coming to see us tomorrow." or something.

Please don't wait.

I agree with everyone else, even if you don't ask for paperwork or agree to them helping you atleast call and ask IF they cna help you.
No point nutting out a budget and stressing yourself to the max if someone can give you a little more information first.

I know it all seems so hard and you want his help but arm yourself with as much info as you can NOW so THEN you can work out the best way, don't let it go another day hun...

I know it seems all very overwhelming at the moment and like its all f&^%en hopeless (I have been there so I really know what you are feeling at the moment) but at the end of the day its only money. And again so much easier to say than do but try not to stress too much.

They cant take blood from a stone babe and for all their threats they cant actually "DO" anything.
I only found this out, after been so scared of debt collectors and believing what they were saying but thats their job. They intimidate you into agreeing to something you cant afford. They dont care about you just getting their money. I bet if you started talking about bankruptcy with them they would change their tunes quick smart and start working with you instead of against you.

There are many many avenues for you too look at and yes bankruptcy is one of them. There is a huge taboo around it still but its something I looked into very closely and had I not just one more option to try first then I would have chosen bankruptcy.
Yes it stays on your credit rating but you have a bad credit rating now, so what are the chances of you getting another loan anyway???

STAY THE HELL AWAY from FOX SYMES though. They are all about the fees and even if your agreement is not accepted you still have to pay their fees. They are not there to help you either. There is one place that offers the same service as Fox does but if they cant help you then you dont have to pay.
It is a sucky place to be but with a few phone calls to the right people and you will have it all sorted im sure. :hug::hug::hug:
There is lots and lots of places that are in place to help people like you (and me and many others) out of these seemingly hopeless situations so get googling and hit the phone hun! :)

Just on the phone now to my budget. Hopefully i can work out something.

Just wanted to wish you all the very best LMS. Some incredible advice from PP.

I remember getting a call from the bank last week because there wasn't enough in my account to pay my car loan by $10 even though they could SEE that I get paid on a fortnightly basis and my next pay was going in the very next day!! They then charged me a $30 dishonor fee for not having the correct amount of money in there. I was livid. They are RUTHLESS.

:hug:

Its looking like they cant help me. 45% of our income goes on rent and they can usually only help those less than 40% but im having a further consultation in an hour but working out our budget myself we only have $140 a month spare which over 4 weeks is nothing. Thats what we would spend on buying more milk, bread etc.

Bah humbug.

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Its looking like they cant help me. 45% of our income goes on rent and they can usually only help those less than 40% but im having a further consultation in an hour but working out our budget myself we only have $140 a month spare which over 4 weeks is nothing. Thats what we would spend on buying more milk, bread etc.

Bah humbug.

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I would consider that before going bankrupt.. It will buy you some time to sell some things to make things a little easier.. Go to the charity places for food vouchers. I myself am not much of a cook, but learnt how to make stuff from 'nothing'.. If there is a will, there is a way

I mean this in a nice way (from someone who has been very close to the position you are now), you made the mistake, and you now must try and fix it. Is going bankrupt really worth it without even attempting to live off the smell of any oily rag? Can DP get extra hrs, even in a different division?

Are you sure you're claiming all you entitled to from Centrelink? I agree $140 spare per month is nothing.