I feel sorry for my friend.

I feel bad that she had a very traumatic first birth, with tearing so bad that she ended up with a colostomy bag. She did so well considering, and is an awesome mum.

but


I feel worse that she is pregnant again and is so unsupported by her family. She was told that she should go a Csect or risk another serious injury. She knew this before she got pregnant again. At the time her sister in law told her that she would be failing any other babies for choosing the 'easy option' of elective Csect. She and her husband have since made the decision to have this baby by Csect, but have not told any of their family. They are just going to go in it and have the bubs and 'deal with the concequences from the family' after.

I cannot believe that anyone would be so insensitive to make her feel bad about the way she chooses to birth. I also think it is terrible that she has to keep it secret because she knows how much her SIL will be at her if she knew.

Wishing her an awesome elective Csect. I am sure that she will do a wonderful job.

:o that is so rude of her SIL, what right does she have to comment on anything regarding your friend or her choice to birth whichever way! The poor poor thing, what a very traumatic experience she must have had, it sounds awful and I certainly do not blame her for choosing to birth the way she feels 'safer'. She is lucky that you are there to support her, maybe send her on over to BB and others can support her too. :)

:shakehead: that's terrible. and i can't imagine saying that having surgery is ever the 'easy' option. anyway, it's not her SIL's business. pfft to her & her judgemental ways. i'm glad she has you though :hug:

What an insensitive SIL!!! She would be failing the baby for not accepting the best health care possible and risking her own life when its not necessary. Obviously most women would love to have a natural birth, but if you cant it doesnt make you less of a woman. She has to put her health and that of the baby's first, not some silly SIL opinion!!

Poor thing!!! At least she has a good friend in you :)

WTF?????? I am just dumbfounded. Why are there any consequences from anyone with how you choose to birth?? It's no ones business but your own. I feel sorry for her too. She should just tell her SIL to shove it.

It's terrible isn't it?! She has been telling her things like if you have a csect you never establish breastfeeding properly!! My friend is cluey enough to know that it is not true.

She is only telling me and one other friend. She will also tell her mum on the day, as she will care for her DS. But she is gooing to make her mum promise not to let anyone else know.

Last time when she was in labour, her SIL was posting updates on FB. And the moment he was born they were all down there, and she was just so overwhelmed, and had to go off to surgery.

Then when I went to her house to visit, SIL brough over champagne to celebrate. Both friend and her DH were exhausted. Here's me, doing their washing and making them lunch etc, and SIL just sat there!

Wow, she sounds like a piece of work. Maybe you should suggest it's time your friend stood up to her and stop letting her be such a *****!

:

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She has been telling her things like if you have a csect you never establish breastfeeding properly

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:rofl: Yeah, ok, tell that to my DD1 who was a c/s baby and is still breastfeeding 3 years later.

Some people just need to shut up :).

Wow! What a SIL to have. And when you're tired, postnatal and vulnerable, it's just so hard to stand up to anybody, let alone a bully.
Not sure when your friend is due, but if she's got time, I'd recommend she see a counsellor just to work on assertiveness skills and how to handle the SIL and other family members. It's easy for outsiders to say 'why doesn't she just tell her SIL where to go?', but it's so hard in the moment to stand up to family when they're so opinionated etc.

She shouldn't be made to feel like her C.S is shameful or need to be kept a secret. I hope her partner is supportive and will stand up to family for her, when needed?
And breastfeeding after a C/S is possible -it just might take an extra day or so for the milk to come in (different for everybody, I suppose, but that was my experience).
Good luck to your friend and hopefully, she will have a much, much better birth experience this time around

People just open their mouths and ****e comes out... Doesn't anyone think it's polite to just nod your head and smile anymore? Regardless of whether they agree?
Your poor friend :(

I don't understand why people are so against c-sections. Alot of babies are born that way, it's 'the norm'.

I had an elective c/s with DD (it was called elective, but she would have died if we left it much longer) and it was the best decision. She was born healthy (as can be) and happy, had she gone through the trauma of a natural delivery I don't know that she would have survived her surgery.

I am supportive of planned c/s. Whenever I said I had a planned c/s I get told "I'm sorry, that must have been horrible". No, it's not.

I feel so sorry for your friend.
:hug:

that's awful! No one should be made to feel like that because of an infomred and completely justified judgement. Actually NO one should be made to feel like that at all ;-(

I hope your friend has a lovely Csection and enjoys her time with her baby xox

Oh your poor friend. Her sister in law is an idiot!!! My DS1 was a tough delivery (though not as bad as your friends), so much so we had an elective c sect for DS2 and it has been wonderful to not have to deal with the trauma this time!!! And breeast feeding has not been a problem at all, in fact easier than last time, as the rest of my body is not in agony.

Please tell your friend that no one will judge her, and the decision is her and her partners to make. It was the best decision of our lives, and i have no regrets (i was worried that i would).

Bless.

Oh that's terrible :(

I wish them all the very best for an empowering c/sect delivery!

That's so sad :( Wishing her all the very, very best.

(what a nasty SIL she is !!!)

That sucks.
It's not really about c-sections, though, is it? It's about these people thinking they have the right to criticise and judge - I doubt birth choices are the only things they have an unwelcome opinion on. Her SIL obviously has some serious eeesshews and it's a shame your friend is feeling bad about it. I'm sure your support will be very helpful to her. :)

Oh My Goodness! How is it any of their business?????

Best of luck to your friend, she will be great.

As My sister went through the same traumatic birth with her first DS she then decided to have a CS. If anyone EVER said that to her I would personally have a nice strong word to those people.
Your family is meant to be there for you and not to make you feel horrible!

How sad:(

Wishing your friend a wonderfully empowering CS!

That is just horrible, and from a family member who should support her. I think the SIL needs to walk in some one else's shoes for awhile, sounds like she living in her ivory castle and ignoring that fact that a) people don't have to make the same choices as she would, and b) it ain't always that black and white, the answer is not a blanket 'no c/s ever', that is just ridiculous.