Would you feed the child?

My son has been at a friends house since school finished. 3pm.
He was invited to a "bring a friend" scouts night and was meant to be picked up from our place at 6pm. So I had planned on doing and early tea (roast chicken) and put in extra legs because there was a chance I might have had 2 extra kids for tea anyway.

So come end of school my sons asks the girls mum (a friend of mine too) if he can go to their place straight after school instead. I said "mate I have roast chicken on cooking, cause the plan was for you to have tea early" the Mum says "that's okay he can come now, but he'll be bored for a while as I have to take xxx to music lessons first" So I asked my boy what he wanted to do. Come home, where you have 2 extra kids to play with for a while or be bored at music lessons. He chose the latter.

Anyway fast forward to 7.45pm tonight when he gets home. He comes in and says "I'm starving I haven't had tea yet" I am thinking thank gosh I put extra tea on to cook. The Mum says "yeah we better go cause we haven't had ours either"

Would you try to provide something for the child to eat? Okay him going there straight after school was sprung on her, but I had 2 extra's sprung on me with not much more notice and I managed. I am really annoyed that he has not eaten since 1pm when he had lunch at school.

If I had known he was not going to get fed, I would have insisted he came home with me.

Hell to the yes. The after school snack is pretty much the most important meal of the day in this house. It's the only thing that stands between me and being eaten alive by feral children.

Yes, your poor son! he would have been starving!

Um YES! Of corse. I still need an afternoon snack to function. I don't think it's wrong to flat out expect your child to be fed not only in the few hours after school, but especially if they're going to be at a friend's house around dinner time.

Absolutely. My kids come home ravenous so there's no way they would even get past 3.30 pm without having had a decent snack of fruit and something else. I can perhaps understand not having actual dinner depending on what sort of time the other family usually has dinner - if your DS was originally going to be collected from your house at 6pm that's possibly a lot earlier than the other family eats - but no way would a child in my care be allowed to go hungry.

Totally yes. But people can be weird. My mother refused to feed other children (one of her many problems!) so if they asked for food she would offer them marmalade on bread! Knowing full well most kids hate the taste of marmalade I'm sure.

When kids come to my house I make sure there is fresh fruit, something baked and something to drink. Now I don't expect other's to go out of their way when my kids come to visit and if it was a drop in like that I'm sure it would be anything I could find. But if my friends came to visit I would want to make sure they were comfortable, why would I not do that for my children's friends?

Absolutely! Your poor DS :(

For sure poor thing must be starving, how strange to not offer anything. Not that hard or $ to make a sandwich or some fruit or cheese and crackers.

How odd. Same as Onyx in this house too.

Yep. When I was 9-15, anytime I was at my bestie's house I was even allowed to act like I was at home and just raid the fridge/pantry whenever :lol: Never really took them up on it, but the offer was there :) My mum thinks my brother's bestie is strange because he always turns down dinner at her place and waits to go home to eat, even when he's come over after school and is staying the night.

I have never seen chicken disappear so fast in my life. He is now in the bath as his belly was a bit sore from eating quickly, and probably from starving. I really don't understand it at all. As the mum said they were going home and sitting on their butt till music lessons, so it wasn't like they were on the go all the time from 3pm either.

I am the same Teni. If I have kids here they know they can help themselves to anything from our snack cupboard or fruit bowl.

Yes I would expect my child to be offered something to eat, even if it was some bikkies & milk. BUT Saying that, I am use to my kids helping themselves. So I would quite possibly forget if the kids where busy playing. Had they been home to the other parents place or where they out the whole time?

So YES I 100% agree that he should have been offered something.. Maybe its a good time to teach him how to politely ask (he shouldnt have too, but you know...)

I don't know how many times I got home from school, that afternoon tea ended up being for more than the 5 of us. There were friends that usually ended up having dinner with us too.

Your poor little man :(

Maybe ask your DS whether a snack was offered? Maybe the other kid didn't want to eat and your DS felt awkward about having something when no his friend didn't? Might he have politely refused a snack if he didn't understand how long it would be until tea? I'm just searching for explanations because I can't fathom that she didn't offer food?!

I would expect them to be offered afternoon tea, but not nessecarily assume dinner.

Yes I am going to ask him again in the morning about the snack situation. He will usually ask for something to eat if he is hungry at someone else's house. No flies on that kid LOL.

Yeah i was just going to say, i find it unbelievable that he didn't ask for something... no kids is usually backwards in coming forwards when it's about food!
maybe he had a snack... if he's anything like my brother, a snack isn't a meal so it doesn't count :)

I would offer something - but I would have asked the mother "does he need food?" if a child were coming over to my house and the mother was planning an early dinner too, just so I knew what was expected (or say, "oh, we don't eat until later" if I knew you were doing food). I do worry about allergies when feeding another child, but most school-age children know if they are allergic to beans on toast and fruit/coq au vin with garfield potatoes, roast asparagus and steamed petit pois followed by vanilla poached pears with ginger creme fraiche, so would just check with the child if I'd forgotten to ask the parent.

I have quiet a few friends that don't eat dinner until 8pm or so. So while I'd be upset they werent given dinner before going out I wouldn't say anything cause their house their rules. But I'd be really upset at NO food. That's insane. My kids would be beside themselves.
Your poor little man.

I would have thought at least a snack would have been offered. Considering most kids last meal at school would be around 1pm, that is a long time not to eat food! (well for me anyway)

Yeah I would check about the afternoon snack. Especially if he just said that he hadn't had tea/dinner. He could have eaten an elephant for afternoon tea and it still wouldn't have counted as dinner.

I would get them afternoon tea and if they were there at dinner time, which is about 5.30, I would give them dinner too
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Considering the fact that you mentioned in front of the mum that you were doing an early dinner so he could eat beforehand, I would've thought she would have offered something. But maybe they're a no snack, late dinner family and she didn't think of it...

Quick response, snack - yes definitely, dinner - no

My kids would have been chewing the legs off furniture if they hadn't eaten anything by that time.
They have a light snack when they get home, dinner around 5-5:30, and sometimes they still need something else before bed at 7:00.
In our house, if people are here when we usually eat, I assume they will eat with us.