Raising kids. Acreage vs Suburbia

Im in a bit of a dellema. We currently live on 60 acres in a shed. We have no neighbours (that you can see anyway), we are half hour from the main town, a school is just down the rd, theres a servo about 3km up the rd. We have a horse, 2 dogs and a cat.

My dellema is. We had our property up for sale for 12 months with rediculous offers, so we decided to take it off the market because we looked at what we had to offer the kids here as opposed to a suburban block (thats what we would move to, not by choice).

We have all the room for more horses, in case DD wants a pony (which she is asking for now), DS will want a motorbike like dad im sure, we have room for chooks, room for a big cubby for the kids. Pretty much anything we want really.....whats the prob then i hear you ask????.
Well... we arent close to town, we dont have a house, we dont have lots of money so getting things takes a long time. Do you think our kids would be better in a suburban bloke thats close to everything or here where the lifestyle is great and they can bash around on whatever they chose.

What would you chose if you had the choice, Rat race or not.???????

Hi Kerrie. I live in the rate race of suburbia and would pick acreage any day, though I don't have kids yet so I'm not sure on what the differences would be. I think as long as your kids can go to school with other kids then they would be just fine. But if it's a financial decision as well then that's tough one.

I can think of nothing better than having all the privacy in the world and such a tranquil lifestyle. Sure it's great knowing that everything is close by in suburbia, but honestly I avoid shops when I can and do most day-to-day stuff over the net like paying bills/managing finances/chatting to you guys :)

my DH grew up in that situation, FireFly.

He loved it. Sure, it was rough living out of town so it was hard for friends to visit. It was rough living in a shed without walls, but his mother would rearrange the furniture that formed the walls occasionally so that not only were the rooms rearranged, the location of the rooms would change, too.

Eventually he kept fit by riding 16km into town on his push bike for work, TAFE, and anything he wanted to do. He loved being able to run around outside with the dog, and just generally having the space to do his own thing.

I don't think it's a lifestyle for everyone - I don't think I could handle it, but maybe you could wait a few years until your children are old enough to put forward an opinion before you move?

BW

My father lives on 40 acres in QLD and they have a fantastic lifestyle. He's a school teacher and it's taken them ages to fix up their house and stuff, but I think they have THE BEST lifetsyle/ They have a few horses and bikes, and they do lots of regional sports. I would pick an acreage any day of the week.

DH lived about 70k from the city on a property that was boat access only. A hike and a tin-boat ride to school......

He looks back on it with joy, and I know he and his siblings wouldn't have traded it for anything. We all love going to his parents: it is an idylic spot, totally inconvenient, huge steep hill, no roads, water access only, but blissfull.

Not sure if that helps?

My husband and I just recently had this discussion as we are on the move. Ideally we would like to have moved about 40 minutes from the city on a few acres but alas $$ prohibited it, so we are moving from our almost 800sqm block 10 minutes from the city to a 1.4 acre that is 15 minutes further out.

Guess living in a smaller city it is a little easier. Eventually we would like to move a bit further from the city or even better to a country town, but will wait till DH has his business sorted and the $$ will allow it (and have finished having kids because I love my hospital).

Krys

DH and I are hoping to move to somewhere with room for a pony in a few years. I grew up on a property and the memories I have of my childhood are wonderful. We had horses and chooks and swam in the creeek - I would love it if my children could have similar memories.
I don't think that suburbia offers any advantages over acerage. The only thing I would miss is having a cafe on my doorstep but a good coffee machine would make up for that.

I think is sounds wonderful and I think your kids will love it!! I would love to make a move like that but am hesistant to because I must say I like the convenience of having everything close by. But from a lifestyle perspective and for the kids I would love it. I think more kids these days need to connect more with nature... I think the only times kids wouldn't like it is when they're teenagers and want to see friends and get into mischief....

Enough of my rant...

Personally I like being in the city (even if it *is* Adelaide, which isn't a city to a lot of people ;) ) but I think it sounds like your place is great for the kids!

i live in a long skinny unit where you hear your neighbours air/con, their douff douff music and their barking dogs. (I desire noise cancelling headphones something chronic!!!!) The front yard is so close to the footpath and hoons that use our street as a race track. The back yard is tiny and not enough room to set up play equipment or kick a ball. We are 20mins walk from public transport. 10mins from city centre by car. It is good to be close to hospitals for the "just in case" scenarios.

I would choose acreage. But being a city girl, i would want hot water, reliable power. Not so sure i could live in a shed. I would also need a reliable car and good internet access. As long as we were healthy and getting our daily needs met, able to get kids to medical appointments, sport and school, i suppose you would "make" it work. I mean, bottom line, are you happy where you are? are the kids happy? would they have to give up their horses if you moved?

It does sound idyllic, to be able to send the kids outside to razz around, explore, make up their own games, swim in creeks, ride horses etc. Something i only read about in books.

I do have fantasies of moving up to northern NSW and building a strawbale home (just quietly).

A lot of people already know my thoughts about it, but I would not live in the city if you paid me. I cannot think of a better place to raise kids than in the country. We live 30 mins from the nearest big town where Lindsay travels to school each day, and we love it. Fair enough that this is all I have known, and if I had spent all my life in the city, I would probably say that is the best place.

I agree that having limited services at your finger tips is a hassle sometimes, but you get used to it. I honestly think that if you moved, your kids would feel stiffled because they have lost that space to move around and do their own thing IYKWIM?

Sure you may not live in a mansion, but if it is working and your family is happy, then why change?

I think its personal choice. We did both when I was a kid. I loved living on our block. I had so much space to do what i wanted (except the pony thing, my parents wouldn't let me). we lived there for 5 years and it was great. Before that we were in the suburbs and I loved that as well, as we had kids that lived next door that were the same age as us and we all got along great. Then when we moved back to suburbia i was a bit older, which was also good for me because i had more freedom. could walk to the the shops and do my own thing.

I will always remember when we were living in suburbia though one of my friends was living on a farm and for years they lived in a shed and I was jealous! I wanted to live in a shed! Its such a great story to tell when your older. not many people these days have that experience!

I lived in both. I was born in Auckland and we moved and lived in bris vegas for years before making the change to country life. My parents did it to give us a slower paced lifestyle. On the other hand Corey is a born and bred gold coast boy that is just drawn to the city. But we've decided for our kids that we are going to stay in the country as we're about to purchase some acreage out of the town. For us being able to make as much noise as you want, walk around nude if you want(LOL!) and for the kids to do whatever they want without worrying about people snatching them or like the latest scare, rat poison on playgrounds. To us country life sounds perfect, that is for now. When the kids are teenagers we may move to the city.

LOL Fletch, I'd still consider it the rat race because there is still traffic everywhere you go (even on my short drive to work each day), we live on top of one another on small blocks, the shops are absolutely packed, and there's no real privacy even in anyone's backyard :D I'd prefer somewhere like Silverdale - wide open spaces :)

It appears the majority of you would prefer acreage to suburbia, i dont know why but im a bit surprised with that.
Maybe the convenience of being near town would outway the lifestyle so to speak.

My kids are happy here, but this all they no so as far as their concerned this in home, kwim. I grew up on acreage but DH didnt. Our plan after buying our first home was always to end up on acreage so we are were we want to be. Its just the house issue that annoys us both now, and especially since now the kids are here i think we just want whats best for them. We have lived here for 6 years now and when we first bought it it had nothing on it at all. Now it has paddocks fenced, cleared areas, and a shed we built ourselves.
If we did decide to sell id be sad at leaving what we put together ourselves and also the kids have their hand prints drawn on the edge of the shower wall so that couldnt come with us and DD heights are on a door jam (bathroom, only door in the place, lol) so that couldnt come with us either.
I keep looking at things like that and imagine how hard it would be to leave that, as small as it is its something special to me.
The other thing that worries me a bit about selling it that we would NEVER get this back again, we would never be able to afford it. I dont even know that we would be able to afford acreage again and that scares me as thats what we have always wanted.

Being close to town though would be better for us financially as it takes DH 1hr 20 to get to work, the shops and everything else would be closer, just everything in general, family to would be closer. The cost of living is really takeing its toll on us, especially with only one wage comeing in. But in saying that, thats how we chose it to be because neither of us wants anyone else to look after our kids. Its hard. I will eventually go back to work when kids are at school but thats another 5 yrs away and DH said that he doesnt want me to go back fulltime again, which suits me.

MONEY.MONEY. MONEY, its always comes back to damn money! :mad:

We have recently bought timber to put walls up to make bedrooms for us all plus we plan on putting windows in so we can see out. Im looking forward to that.

I should add the advantages of living here apart from the serenity. Dd can play as many tea partys as she likes inside, she can play hopscotch inside because half is a workshop so she can draw on the floor with chalk, she can ride her bike around the whole shed so when its raining she can still ride around, doesnt matter if something is spilt on the floor because its crappy carpet anyway. Think thats it.

Murphys Law hey. You always want what you cant have.[/

Kerrie - It sounds like you have heaps of really great reasons to stay. I'm sure the kids won't be bothered and by the time they're old enough you may be in a very different situation.

Remember, what kids need most is love, a full tummy and a roof over the heads. It sounds like your kids have this and a whole heap more!!!

Heaps of kids have way too much stuff these days and your kids will grow up knowing about the outdoors and the environment and have a whole lot of life experience.

Good luck!

Kerrie, I mentioned earlier DH's situation......I should add that his families situation was down to $$ too. They had lived on a surbarban block, and their rural block had been bought for a "weekender" but when $$ got tight, one property had to go........and they ended up, after much soul searching, on the rural /water access only block, in a one roomed shack (MIL, FIL, DH and his 2 siblings, he was the eldest at age 4!). They lived like this for YEARS as FIL gradually, very gradually, built a house around the shack.

I have seen photos of the 30 years that they have all lived there, and without question, they all look so happy, and DH (and his siblings, who I am quite close to) all reflect on what a perfect, different, but fantastic childhood they had.

They now, as adults, all look back on it all, including the chaos and the relative inconveniece, with beautiful memories, and talk about it with so much joy. They all also comment that their lifestyle made them very self sufficient........

Not sure if that helps any?

Thanks Lucy, its food for thought as they say. I know my kids dont know any different at the moment and will love whatever surroundings we put them in, it plays on my mind that we dont have a proper house to give them with proper bedrooms. The shed is certainly not glamarous, even though we have carpet on the section that we live in it still is quiet dirty because of the dirt driveway. And the roof isnt insulated so its damn noisy when it rains or if its windy.
We still have all the mod cons though like Foxtel and Internet, hot water etc etc. They do have full tummys and a warm bed to get into every night but there parents are at a loss as to whats good for them.

I was so stressed and i had to get out of here when it was on the market, but now that we are giving it a break Dd and I have been out makeing gardens and putting vegie seeds in. When we do that together i think how lucky we are to have what we have, i know DD loves it here. She will one day get that pony when she can look after it herself and im sure DS will appreciate having his own bike track down the back.

Theres just always the what if senario.

But is is still something to think about for when they are a lot older. I worry about Lindsay and the girls being excluded in some things because we are out of town, but on the whole, we've decided that we have to make that extra bit of effort to get them involed in town activities like sport and socialising.

V.true. I asked DH about this last night, as a result of this thread......he explained how his parents made a "committment" early on to be totally open & happy about doing a LOT of ferrying at weekends for sport and social stuff......it sounds like they had a fair amount of co-ordinating to do between them all for cricket, swimming, music classes etc, but was one of the things that his parents KNEW they would have to accomodate due to their choice of location.......

Kerrie i think you know in your heart were you want to live and that is were you are now.

I always said i would love to live near the beach but if someone said here's a house with lots of land to go with it I'd move tomorrow. It's safe for the kids and you have room for a pony. I would love to have a horse and the kids to have a pony.

Maybe when they are older move closer to the city.
If it's about the money can you not sell abit of the land to get some extra $$$.

GL with what ever you end up doing.

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Kerrie i think you know in your heart were you want to live and that is were you are now.

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Yeah i think your right about that. The running around has already begun. We do swimming and kindergym. She hasnt even started school yet, lol.

The issue of subdividing has come up but unfortunatly we arent able to yet, who knows whats done the track though. Might come just as we want to build hey.

Hi Firefly, it's a toughie isn't it? What's best for us, what's best for our kids?

Like Fletch, I love suburbia, I grew up in suburbia (although nowhere near as big as Sydney is, more of a country town than here!), I plan on raising our kids here, but when I retire I'm going to have 6 mths a year up in Coffs Harbour on a couple of acres! We would also love to buy a holiday house in the country somewhere so that some part of each year we are spending there.

I think you can create the environment you want for your kids no matter where you live. Although I don't think I'd cope very well in a unit block!

We have friends who have horses on properties only about 10-15 mins away (not their homes), so plenty of offers on that front. My MIL keeps chooks in her backyard only 20 mins from the city. We have two dogs in our backyard and lots of parks nearby. We go to the beach in summer and do bushwalks in the national parks around here all year round. We also take the dogs for walks just around the block and there is plenty of wildlife in our area. Picnics all year round when the weather is good, plenty of different locations for those. BBQs with friends at our place, theirs or in a park or reserve somewhere. We won't be able to let our kids roam around as freely as we would in the country, but I think we can make up for it with team activities when they're old enough (not too many, I don't want to overschedule my kids!). They'll also have plenty of friends nearby, probably like I did, across the road, so they can visit often.

And I'm sure in the country, even though it might be a slightly longer drive to everything (although, you don't have traffic to contend with, if it makes you feel any better we're probably in our cars for the same amount of time not getting as far!) you can do most, if not all, of the things we do here. Without the hassle of finding parking!! LOL

Yeah i hear ya Jennifer. Your lifestlye sounds great to me actually but im sure living in suburbia would eventually get to me. And like you say, we just step outside and its all there where you have to drive to it.
Not sure how things will go when they start getting friends as im not sending them to the local school so the mates they will have wont be close by. Then theres the fact that we do live away from things so when they get there license..... oh man when does it end. I suppose that fear is there whether you live close or not hey.

I think our concerns were, if we sold we wouldnt get acreage again (couldnt afford it), we would be out every weekend doing stuff if we moved to a small block, the agistment for the horse would send us broke, the kids walking the streets at night scare me.

I think we will just stay. No regrets then.

I would like the best of both worlds. I like being close to things. I would go batty if I lived up near you Kerrie. It was bad enough when we lived up north in the "burbs" but still needed to drive 40 mins to Cairns to go shopping etc.
I think if given the choice of Suburbs of sydney or suburbs of Nth QLD or Acreage, teh size & location you have. I would chose the suburbs of Nth QLD. Your still close to things but not in the hussle & bussle of it all KWIM.
When we look at places when we have moved, we avoid places that you have to weave down the street around cars that are parked on the rd. Houses that are so close together you could jump from roof to roof with ease. Places like Glenmore park, Bligh Park for example.
I like Nth Richmond because I can walk to 3 different parks, I can walk to the shops including, video ezy, Bilo, post office, fruit & vege etc. It has everythign I need in walking distance. I woud like a different street as I am on a busy one. But I don't think I would live anywhere in sydney other then the Hawkesbury. if we moved away from the Hawkesbury to would be to th QLD.

Well just thought I'd add that we've just decided to move to the country!!! Probably in about 12m when we can afford too but we will buy a bit of land and build so will be in the same situation!! We're really excited about it as dh's parents are up there and so he'll have work organised with them before we go and the most important thing - I won't have to work! So I can just enjoy the time and the fresh country air and my beautiful bubbas!!!!!

I've grown up on farms & a long way out of town As a kid I sometimes complained about it, but really it was great!!!

We are now on 2.5 acres, 5km from town so to me it's like the best of both worlds.

I get the feeling from your post that you really want to stay in the country - so that's what I think you should do. :)

I sort of know where you're coming from, Kerrie. We live on 40 acres with a half finished strawbale house that we've built ourselves. It is nice and warm, but the ceilings not finished and it only has 2 rooms (plus the laundry). But we love it here and would NEVER want to go back to the city. I think the country is a great place to raise kids. And besides, there are many families around the world who would think what we live in is a mansion.

Anyway, crunch time came for us, too, and John is leaving his job in a couple of weeks to work on the house. :)

But, as you say, money is always in the picture! We are learning to cut down. As long as you are happy, healthy, and have most of the creature comforts...

Good luck with it all!

And good luck with finding a place, Krisvee. That's exciting news! What sort of house are you looking to build?

Julie

Hi!

Julie, you're strawbale house sounds fantastic!! I would love to build one but I think we'll go for a plain old brick veneer.....Dh has decided he wants to look at what existing houses are already up for sale but I'm pretty sure we'll end up building as what we'd want would be out of our price range.....

I'm just so excited - we'll have boating, motorbikes, Mt buller in winter, some animals a big veggie garden and of course just the general lifestyle!

Yep, we'll have to travel about 20-30min for the shops and schools and things but I think if you go into it open to that then it won't be a problem. I'm also open to travelling back to Melb regularly to get anything we need (and to visit my family) I think it will be so exciting for Louis as he grows up!!!!

Oh Julie a strawbale house sounds fab! I've seen a few of those built on some reno shows and always thought they looked fab!

They are great because the walls are so thick and keep in the heat in winter and the heat out in summer. And they have that old sort of look because the walls are not completely straight. (Well, you can render them straight if you want to, but we've put the render on so that it is still a bit curvy).