Printable View
I'm trying to cut back on night feeds. I don't expect she'll sleep any better, but I just get so, so SOOOOOOOOOOOO Over being clamoured at all night (she still feeds 6+ times a night most of the time). DD is very resistant. She screams. She tantrums. She will do this for hours.
Anyone else's child do this? When did they grow out of it?
Mine don't, but I didn't want to read and not reply.
Not sure what would help, or when she might grow out of it ... but two things I've heard of which may or may not help, are:-
1) expressing and giving them a "glut feed" just before bed to help them sleep longer.
2) having your DH offer water overnight, so if they're thirsty they can have a drink (either you diving it, or even just leaving a pop top of water in their room) but if they're just wanting you, they will stop waking - and will just enjoy morning boobie snuggles.
I haven't had to try these, so cannot comment on their effectiveness or gentleness ...
Just didn't want to ignore your post!
Thanks for replying :)
She won't take anything else. Sometimes daddy steps in and listens to her scream and gets kicked etc while I get some sleep elsewhere.
I halfheartedly gave it a go a couple of times with ds because he was similar to your dd. In the end it worked at 20 months - that must have been when he was ready. All of his feeds by that stage were sleep-related so I stopped the pre-nap feed first. I was fairly drained after 20 months and needed to,start with daytime first when I wasnt desperately trying to get some sleep. I just continued to co sleep and cuddled him through the wake up
Sent from my GT-I9100 using Tapatalk 2
I've had this open all day to reply. I can so relate to feeling touched out over night. DS still fed 6ish times a night for a really long time.
I tried a few times with DS too. He was well over 18months, closer to 2 I think when he finally accepted a drink of water as a replacement. Catch 22 though because I gave him a bottle....now I can't get rid of it overnight. He was drinking 750ml+ of water overnight, so obviously he was thirsty. He's cut back to 300 now but he still wakes and asks for it.
Thank you
I'm going to start refusing during the day a bit - I guess that might be easier to start? She just finished 30 minutes of screaming for mooky. DH said he'll help out more if I want, too.
She probably does need a feed during the night still, as she hardly eats anything :wall: I don't even own a bottle, so no worries there :) One or two feeds I'd be fine with, if only I could get 3 hours of sleep. That'd be nice.
I'm on my phone so can't see - how old is your dd now? You could have a shot at the jay gordon method? I tried it but didn't keep going with it. But I think it has a lot of merit to it.
Sent from my GT-I9100 using Tapatalk 2
Yeah, I"ve read it. She's 19 months old. I'd have to skip the "feed then use other settling methods" bit, though, and go straight to screaming mess, as she does not like to be cuddled or rocked or anything like that. The only other viable option is to get up and wear her on my back, though she still wouldnt' be very happy about that.
With my dd, I remember being up in the night with her and walking around in the dark saying 'shhhh it's sleep time, everyones asleep...are you hungry? Or thirsty' and then offer food or drink. I then would take her to bed and cuddle her while she cried and I remember having to get up a few times that first night and then less and less. Basically I didn't try to comfort her to sleep so much as just comfort her and be there for her and she eventually went to sleep. :hug: it's hard. Ds is a real boobies addict at 16 months and I'm already fantasizing about night weaning. We're on three feeds a night, basically 2-3 hourly still and it's so draining....!
I just have to TAKE MY HAT off to all you mums that BF and still up 2-3 times a night ...how do you function the following day on a daily basis for up to 20 months wow... Then at 20 months asking to have up to 3 hours of straight sleep wow again!!
Now im not trying to bignote myself here as i honestly thought this was the norm but obviously all children are different:
I have a 20 month old and he is in bed (cot)at 7 pm now had 2 bottles yes 2 (he is a growing boy and no it isnt an every night thing with 2 bottles) and has fallen asleep and i can pretty well guarentee (sp?) he will either stir at 3 45am and go back to sleep or will wake and want a bottle.... but thats it . My 4 yr old can be the up down child all night long but again he hasnt done that for ages.
And if i get an odd unsettled night im cactus in the morning and am a grumpy mum so hense how to you survive ??
Oh mad, all mine are like this. They just somehow stretch eventually. Around their 2nd bday maybe 27months mine have all completely settled overnight. I stop feeding a bit before two so feed wise they must be much much better.
I think the less I feed through the day the better the food intake is but then that seems to take a few days to reduce the night feed. I also offer water after the feed at night.
Dd3 has just gone some 5 hr stretches three times this last week. Woohoo.
Oh and another thing, definitely eat better if I'm not lazy and give a big bf before getting up in the morning. If I get her up and give breakfast we have a much less 'bob' day :)
Maybe it's the star sign. Dd can have a whopper of a tanty for ' bob'. :)
DS was the same. I found teeth to be the main culprit. It felt like just as one came through another would start. Hence lack of interest in food and wanting to drink more (which I could understand but seriously I would have like 3 hrs straight of sleep).
I think by 2 it did slow down as he had most of his teeth. I did wean him at 2 and 3/4 as he was still night feeding a couple of times a night and I had enough by then. It took over a month for him not to cry at that time of night every night. Looking back on it I do regret it :dunno: but you do whatever you have too.
Ah MadB, that's tough. You are doing an awesome job of meeting her needs when it's you she wants. Nights are not a good time to be trying to come up with a solution!
Are you getting a break and time to yourself during the day/weekend?
I try when I can. But she wants me all the time during the day too! Unless very, very well distracted by something super exciting.
Obviously your DH needs to work on being more super exciting then!
Sorry, no advice but lots of these.... :hug:
Super exciting activities usually take place somewhere where Mummy can't go. ;) That bit does get easier, as she gets older and more used to doing things with him, she will want to do it more ITMS.
I don't have the night time experience, but I now have two DDs who are absolute Mummy's girls. Neither of them want to be away from me if they have a choice, even at six years old. But Daddy is good at coming up with activities that will grab DD1's interest and I just don't go. We've been doing this since she was 18 mths. I need that break so that I don't resent her wanting me other times.
School has changed things too, so I'm thinking back a bit.
Yep. DS was like this too, but not so much :dunno: DD is much more willful. It's a wonderful attribute and will serve her well later in life, I'm sure. Only a few years till school starts...
Daddy did take them on a super exciting walk this afternoon so I could have a super exciting shower and time to myself.
It would all be much easier if I had a few hours sleep.
Dd was like this and when I was pregnant it was getting too much and she was literally on the breast all night and if I took her off she'd wake screaming!!! In the end I had to make DH take her and it did result in a b it of crying for awhile and she was always comforted during these times mostly by DH as she would claw at my chest lol but she is a smart kid so picked up on things quickly and all DH had to say to her was cuddles and no booby or cot and if she didn't seem to listen we would put her in the cot that was next to our bed for literally a couple of second and get her out and repeat cuddles or cot and shed then just cuddle in bed with us. And soon enough she stopped feeding overnight! She still feeds a lot during the day but I have to limit her to make sure DS gets it first. Good luck and hope you are getting more sleep soon.
I found that DD was really 'all or nothing' in terms of night feeds. Attempting to reduce just confused her - she didn't understand why sometimes I obliged and others I said no, and ultimately it just prolonged the stress for both of us. I introduced a dream feed (would only give if I could pick he up completely asleep, feed and pop her back so there was no experience of waking for a feed) and then refused until 5am. She really screamed the first 2 nights but cottoned on pretty quickly and by night 4, was sleeping through till 5, waking for the one feed then going back to sleep till 6 or 7.
Good luck Hun. Sleep deprivation is the worst.
ETA. Night weaned at about 15 months I think. It did mean she ended up feeding slightly more often through the day and ate much more in terms of solids.
Another one here who had all or nothing feeders at night. Managed to feed them both well beyond 2 1/2. DD1 was a lot of screaming, DD2 not so much. DD2 was the heartbreaker with it though, as she would still ask once weaned and could articulate it very well. With DD1, once she was weaned it was she forgot she ever breastfed.
I so wish I had some answers for you, but sadly I don't. The clingness takes time and the feeding at night is sometimes about comfort not actual feeding. I remember one night with DD2, she pulled off as "boobie empty" then a few minutes later went to latch on again. I told her "but you said boobie empty", to which she replied "Boobie my lollipop".
well, DD slept quite well last night. I did not - I think I have a tummy bug of some sort. And perhaps this is why she's been so difficult of late...? She's certainly bright and cheerful today.
The good news is that although I can't stomach much, I'm not missing out on anything nice at the moment.
How are you Mad? Been thinking of this post a lot!
On the mend, thanks :)
Urgh. Hope your tum is better soon!