Do you send your kids to school (kindy, preprimary) when they're sick but feeling ok?

DD2 is at kindy 3 days per week and DD1 at preprimary 5 days. Obviously kids together means that colds and bugs go around and around (and around and around!), but just wondering what everyone's thoughts are on when a child is sick.

There is a girl in my DD1's class who has the flu - the actual flu, not just a cold - and also hand, foot and mouth is in their household. Her mother put all of this on facebook over the weekend and Monday morning, adding on Monday that she was sending her daughter to school because she (the mother) couldn't cope with three sick children all home at the one time. It makes my blood boil that that is the attitude she takes when my kids have only just got over the last round of colds - in no small part due to the fact that I keep them home when they're sick - and then today both my big girls have woken up with temps of 40. I'm so cross. Not only do I have them but I have a tiny baby as well and plenty of other mums are in the same boat. I'm now the idiot at home dealing with sick kids.

So, what's the etiquette here? For my part, I figure (A) if a kid is sick they should be home and (B) when its just kindy and preprimary its not like its earth shattering if they miss a few days. I also would have thought that if you have a child with a diagnosed contagious condition then the moral thing to do is keep that child quarantined as much as possible.

I guess it depends on what the illness is.

If it's something like you've mentioned above, flu and possible hand, foot and mouth I would definitely be keeping them home.

I keep my kids home if they have a fever as well, even if it's mild, as that's often an indication that something's not right.

With regard to normal colds, I play it by ear. If they're continually coughing and nose running like a tap I keep them home. If it's mild I'll send them. If I kept them home for every sniffle they'd never go to kindy/childcare :)

I agree with you, luluHB

If she has the actual flu and not just a cold, the school will probably send her home very quickly. Not only is it not good etiquette to send her, but she will be too weak and feverish too participate in class so it's just cruel. I would never send my kids to school with the flu.

If it's a bad cold I would probably keep my kids off too, but a mild cold or runny nose I send them because mild illness happens for such a massive part of the year that my kids would fall so far behind if I kept them at home every time they were feeling well but had a bit of a cough or runny nose.

Our kindy does temp checks on all kids when they come in the front door. In a kindy of 700 its an interesting task. But everybody waits.
If kid has snotty nose or cough- they will be sent home. Its only kindy, no stress if they miss a few days. And if everybody does this, then sickness doesnt spread as fast- so we are told.

I'd be very tempted to ring the school/daycare. Seems a bit petty to say "oh I saw on fb these kids are sick", but at the same time if she thinks they shouldn't be there but sent them anyway, that's really poor form.

Dt a kinder of 700 - wow! That's amazing. Do you live in Australia? Great idea to do fever checks though. Do you feel like the policies actually result in less sickness?

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Our kindy does temp checks on all kids when they come in the front door. In a kindy of 700 its an interesting task. But everybody waits.
If kid has snotty nose or cough- they will be sent home. Its only kindy, no stress if they miss a few days. And if everybody does this, then sickness doesnt spread as fast- so we are told.

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Do they really do temp checks?? To be honest, this doesn't sit well with me. I find this a little over the top and a little invasive and undermining to the parent.

temperature is only one sign of illness. Many kids can be overheated or just running a high temperature but not be infectious or feeling unwell at all. On the other end of the scale kids could be ill and in no way ok to attend school or kinder but have no temperature at all. I really dislike the concept of mass temperature taking at kinder and much prefer the concept of treating each child holistically and determining if they are ill by behaviour as much as temperature.

If it's contagious and it's more than a cold they stay home.
I expect the same courtesy from other parents.

I think it's bad manners and can really put a crimp in your social life :)

I send DS to school (prep) if he has a bit of a cold, but I kept him home the other day because he said he had a headache. Fever = stay home too.

If its just either the beginning of a cold, or the end, I will send him. Simply because its not just kindy, it is school, and he would fall behind, they learn so much at his school. I'm not sure if every prep class is the same, but they MUST be able to read at the end of prep, so I don't like him skipping any days.

If she really had the flu I doubt that she would be feeling well. The school would notice and send her home. I would expect any child with an infectious disease not to attend school.

A cold or runny nose I would send if they felt ok. Just as I go to work with a cold. If it was really bad and they were not feeling well they would stay home.

If you have reason to believe the child had an infectious disease, I would advise the teacher.

ETA if I didn't send them every time they had a cold, they would only be in school about a quater of the time!

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I think it's bad manners and can really put a crimp in your social life :)

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Exactly!!!

Copious amounts of snot and coughing, lethargy and/or if showing any other signs of being unwell I will keep them home.

I was asked to keep DS at home a few months back as there was a case of measles in the centre, and he had a rash (not that I was sending him with a rash, just someone saw it on FB and brought my attention to the case of measles before his daycare day). Turns out it wasn't measles, and a random rash. I did ask what the go was with my DD if it was the measles, being a contagious disease, but she wasn't showing any signs.. They said whilever she is showing no symptoms, there is no reason for exlusion (this was also verified by QLD Health).

So, no I wouldn't necessarily keep a sibling home if the other was sick with a contagious disease, but definately the sick child. I will send with a slight cold, however if they ask to stay at home, they stay at home.

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Do they really do temp checks?? To be honest, this doesn't sit well with me. I find this a little over the top and a little invasive and undermining to the parent.

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Totally agree with you on that one!

Our childcare centre is far too free and easy with the thermometer.

DS2 runs "hot". He's perpetually hot and sweaty with a red face because he's a two year old boy who constantly runs around, climbs and just generally acts like a two year old. When he's asleep he's "normal".

As a consequence we have been banished from the childcare centre on several occasions. A couple of times I called them on it and asked them to recheck his temp. Surprise, surprise it was normal! One such incident his temperature was taken when he woke from a sleep. He was swaddled and in a small room with three other babies. Naturally his temperature was high. Fast-forward to when I got there, my poor little mite was laying on the rug in nothing but a nappy and singlet and shivering. I immediately wrapped him back up and took his temperature ... he didn't have a fever!

Sending kids home with a snotty nose is, in my opinion, over the top.

Most of these children are in childcare because their parents work. I have felt completely guilty because I've sent my LO to childcare knowing full well that he has a bit of a cold. Face it, childcare centres are actually snot factories. It's tough when you get called to come and pick your child up because they have had to wipe his nose three times and he has "fever". Then to have to take another day off work because we have a "must stay away" period. A week ago I had that call and took him (and his so called fever) home. He spent that afternoon and the next day tearing around the house. Yes, his nose was snotty. Did he have a fever - NO. I even took him to the doctor who looked at me like an idiot and said:

Yes, we both agree that he has a bit of a cold. BUT, you can shove as much antibiotic down his neck and he won't get better quicker. Why is he sick? Because you (and I) chose to live in a cold hole. He will continue to catch a cold every winter until you move to Cairns. I prescribe him cuddles and plenty of fluids.

I asked if he was okay to go back to childcare. He said I could take the next three months off if I wanted to wait until his nose stopped running....

Would I send him to childcare if he was sick? No, absolutely not.

Shows some pretty inconsiderate parenting on several levels - not only to the other children and staff, but to her poor child. If she has the flu, the poor darling should be at home in bed resting - an adult can barely cope with the flu, let alone expecting a child to particpate in school while suffering from it.

I enrolled my 3yo in kindy and spent the next 6 months nursing him and his baby sister through constant illness. He missed more days than he attended. I took him out of kindy to travel around the USA for 5 weeks and haven't enrolled him again. Despite all the plane travel, change in seasons, new country new bugs, lack of sleep etc both kids have been in perfect health since.

As a SAHM I just don't think it's worth it to subject my kids to the diseases of other kids whose parents are too inconsiderate to keep their sick kids at home. I thought it would be good for him socially, but being sick all the time is no way to spend your childhood.

Now I'm trying to figure out the logistics of unschooling my kids.

DD is currently in childcare and if I have any inkling that she is sick I'll keep her home.

When she is kindy/school age I will definitely keep her home for any sort of infectious illness or bad cold, but if it's just a runny nose and she is feeling ok then I'd probably send her in (and as a teacher I don't mind having slightly runny nosed kids in the class - if they're obviously unwell I ring parents!)

The constant runny nose/cold thing can't be 'normal' though - surely it's because kids are in together with other kids with runny noses that they all stay sick all the time? I appreciate it's a tough situation to be in when you're working and there are no other options. It's not good, though. :(

Its not all about spreading germs either. They need to stay home & rest to get better. Running around at school won't help.

DS is in kindy 3 days too. He loves it so much he hates missing a day. I kept him home yesterday, after he slept all day Sunday & had fevers of 38.8 Monday. Yesterday he seemed fine, no fever etc, but today he has an earache.

I'm not sure what to do tomorrow. He's on antibiotics for the ear, & isn't in any pain. But that could all change tomorrow.

I'm a bit over this doctor thinking though that because DD is still running around, she can't be too sick. Fever today of 39.1 & still active, she must be fine :rolleyes:

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The constant runny nose/cold thing can't be 'normal' though - surely it's because kids are in together with other kids with runny noses that they all stay sick all the time? I appreciate it's a tough situation to be in when you're working and there are no other options. It's not good, though. :(

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My kids get runny noses with hayfever.. I have had this diagnosed by both GP, and allergy specialist. I think this is where others need to be trusting the parent of that child. I am sure some people think my kids are constantly sick cause they have cold like symptoms a lot, but unless I go through the unpleasantness of making them immune to the grass pollens (which is a long stage of injecting the pollen into them, which I will not do at this age), I can't stop it.

Last time I took a day off it cost me in excess of $200 (loss of casual work hrs, daycare, and drs visit), and if my kids are genuinely sick (not just because someone assumes they are cause they have a runny nose) I will give through that money away again.

I actually get really cross when people with the flu go out and about. If someone with a compromised immunity catches the flu, it could be life threatening.

If my DD has a mild cold, she will be sent to school. But anything else, she's home. I know there's a couple of kids at school with seriously compromised immunity and so I don't risk it for them. I got really annoyed when a child was sent to holiday program when they were very sick and of course DD got it and then I got it. Some common courtesy would be nice.

I think runny noses are a long way from green/yellow mucus. I wouldn't expect anyone to keep a child home just because of a runny nose - my kids would never go to school in winter!

i understand it would be really hard for working mums - my mum was a working single mum - but this particular woman is a SAHM so I can't give her any leeway for that.

DD1 has been up and down all day - temp 30 minutes ago was 40.8! DD2's was 39 and DD3's 38 (I'm hoping hers is more to do with having had her vax on Tuesday). Fortunately panadol is controlling it so far for all of them and we'll not be needing a late night trip to emergency

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I actually get really cross when people with the flu go out and about. If someone with a compromised immunity catches the flu, it could be life threatening.

If my DD has a mild cold, she will be sent to school. But anything else, she's home. I know there's a couple of kids at school with seriously compromised immunity and so I don't risk it for them. I got really annoyed when a child was sent to holiday program when they were very sick and of course DD got it and then I got it. Some common courtesy would be nice.

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Ditto this. If DD is sick (actually properly sick, not just a runny nose with nothing else) I keep her home. A) it's not fair on her to send her to childcare when she just wants cuddles and rest at home, and B) it's not fair on other kids who then catch what she has. Sure, it's hard juggling days at home with work but her health is worth it. A couple of weeks ago DD had the flu and had the whole week off childcare, DH and I just swapped days at home and work.

There's this one guy at DH's work who makes me mad. He sends his twins to childcare unless they have gastro. Anything else and they'll be there, spreading it around. The centre called him once to pick up the little boy - he'd been crying all afternoon and wasn't well. His dad said no, we don't come get them unless it's gastro. That really annoys me, because there are so many things other than gastro that I don't want DD getting!

Ah, I hadn't thought of hayfever - lucky me I guess!
I'm ok with runny noses if it's the tail-end of something and they're better. But runny noses often auger something much worse to come... I guess I associate runny noses with being sick because that's the only time my kids get them :dunno:

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Ah, I hadn't thought of hayfever - lucky me I guess!
I'm ok with runny noses if it's the tail-end of something and they're better. But runny noses often auger something much worse to come... I guess I associate runny noses with being sick because that's the only time my kids get them :dunno:

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A lot of people do. I used to as well.. Got so tired of my kids always being 'sick', and was kind of relieved when the gp sent us to allergy specialist to confirm his diagnosis.. And sometimes it is hard for me to tell if they have hayfever or a cold.. If I have doubts, I give a dose of zyrtec. If the symptoms go away, then we go about our lives, if not, I watch for something else brewing.. And while I get frustrated about people assuming they are sick, I have learnt not to voice it negatively since I know what I used to think..

ETA - we don't actually give zyrtec regularly to control the hayfever, only when they are really struggling with the symptoms (I don't like it cause it makes me drowsy, so not going to give it the children often)..