1 year old not sleeping, im at my wits end HELP

My 1 year old has been sleeping in her cot since six months old when i stopped breast feeding her through the night.....she is over 1 now and can be up anywhere from 1-8 times a night. I have taken her to the dr numerous amounts of times and had tests etc and nothing.

At the moment she is waking through the night for 1-1/2 at a time and i cant get her back to sleep. I have tried EVERYTHING, and recently took her to a sleep dr. I have tried, controlled comforting, controlled crying, patting, rocking, hot/cold, more clothes, less clothes, light on, dimmer light, dark, noise, no noise, different quilts, different sheets, different position of cot, in my bed, putting her fast to sleep, sleepy, awake..tried panadol, nurophen, teeth stuff when she is teething, tried a teething necklace, tried changing nappy, not changing nappy, full length suit, tried giving her a bottle, normal PJ, bag, i have tried playing with her in there, settling her in there, staying with her in there, tried toys, tried the smell of my clothes, tried someone else settling her and resettling her, tried more contact, less contact, tried talking to her, tried coming in and out..........i have tried everything i can think of except just letting her cry herself completely to sleep for days.......the sleep dr basically just told me what i already new from the books about sleep etc, except i tried a night light and a dummy thing that clips to her...and so far its not much better. i work a couple of days so eventually after being up that much patting her and resettling her i give in for a couple hours sleep.

I seriously feel like im going mad and im not being the person i want to be..because im so tired and getting so angry and beside myself

Anyone got any ideas that i havent tried already??? the last option is letting her cry it out but i dont know how comfortable i am doing that....my dr said not to do it when she is sick so i have held off, and they say its ok with teething and she has been teething for ages

i just dont know what to do

:wall:

No advice, I am in the same boat. Subscribing in case someone has a magic cure.

I don't have any ideas but all my girls have done this between 14 months and 2 years for some reason. For some time we thought it was a developmental thing, and my DD1's legs were sore because she was learning to walk, so we used to massage her before she went to bed. Of course that didn't really help, but at least we were doing something.

DH used to camp out next to her bed and get as much sleep as he could while she was playing.

Now DD3 is going through it, and we just lay down and try to doze while she plays around us. Not the best solution but it stops me getting angry at her. Occasionally, I will lie her down and tell her its sleep time, sometimes it works, mostly not, so we just make the best out of a bad situation.

Similar here.
We now have her cot as a side car on our bed. That gives her a chance to decide what she wants. Sounds silly but some nights she is all cuddles and other nights she takes her toy rabbit and sleeps on the otherside of the cot.
She has always been a light sleeper except when I wear her.
Having her side car allows me to work out what's going on fast and I ignore most of it. She has a midnight ish bottle and occasionally a 4am.

What time does your lo go to bed? is it a set routine or is she really tired when she goes?

------------------------
unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. its not.
Dr Seuss

Similar here too. I thought it was just what some babies do, so I try to not worry too much about it.

From all the replies so far I reckon its a girl thing :lol:

My world as well at that age :hug:
Teeth took forever and my kids sleep didn't improve much till 18+ months. My daughter has been a bit better in recent weeks, only waking 2-3 times most nights.
Do you bed-share at all? That's the only way I've been able to survive. I stopped trying to 'fix' them and just found ways to make it easier on me. Sleep ins on the weekend, time out during the week and sleeping together.

The only other thing I can suggest is maybe diet?

Hang in there

ETA - did you just call my son a girl!? ;)

hahahaha!! no :redface:

But DS never did it lol

My DD1 did it as well. I just ended up laying on the lounge and dozing whilst she played with her toys. Eventually she would lay down to go back to sleep. It took anywhere from 1-3 hours and I was working three days a week then.... It's very tiring!

I take comfort in knowing others are going through the same, but not that you're having the same issues tho....

I dont think i would worry so much but Im so sleep deprived my personalty is changed....i have also lossed a love one 8 months ago so thats not helping either...but im getting very angry when she doesnt sleep because im so tired and not myself.......after patting up and down for hrs it gets too me...

I have tried to just let her play in the bed with me but she cries and jumps on my face, and pulls my hair and nose and lays on me :) ....she hated sleeping with me but has got a little better. i normally bring her in after 12pm -6 ...

Yes we have a routine, dinner, bath, dressed, cuddle or book or something like that, bottle then bed....she goes about 7.30...but between 7-8pm.....she sleeps ok during the day anywhere from 45-1/30 morning and afternoon....

I dont know what it is with my children or if its me!!!!!!!!!!! but my 4 year old always wants to sleep with me...she has no problems actually sleeping or putting herself to sleep, it just has to be with me...thats why i have tried to keep the 1yr old in the cot..wasnt going to make the same mistake...

Im going to keep trying the self settling and keep at it at see how i go.....she hasnt quiet worked it out yet so maybe that will help

fingers crossed

and what about a 3rd child...im not sure i could do it again after two bad sleepers

any other info or advise let me know

thanks so much

I have 4 bad sleepers. None of them fall asleep by themselves, and NONE of them sleep through the night.

It is possible to live with bad sleepers - you just go a little loopy and lose your mind from time to time.....

My DD is in her cot by herself - but she's in our room, and she puts herself to sleep, but either DH or I are still in the room lying on our bed where she can see us - and she's been doing this for abit. Generally if shes really unsettled i bring her into bed with us, and she'll settle for awhile, but i find she can't sleep.
So when she's had cuddles but is getting fidgety because she can't sleep but wants to, or is getting sleepy again, i put her back in her cot and she's happy to sleep.
I have no idea whats causing my DD to wake in the first place, my only thoughts are perhaps she's having bad dreams as sometimes she cries in her sleep, or she's teething as her eye teeth have recently popped through... could it possibly be something like that with your DD?

Have you tried magnesium spray?

Otherwise google dr jay Gordan, it's more about stopping feeding to sleep, but can be modified to get kids to sleep in cot, that's what I used.

My dd went from a sleep through the nighter to waking up every 2 hours or so at about 15months old. We moved her into a bed and tried everything you have listed.
I was co sleeping with my newborn so the only option was to put my dd in a double bed so dh could sleep with her. It was a good move as we are now getting bit of sleep.

Wow! Sounds like you've tried absolutely everything! I'm trying to think of what I do that makes my DD such a good sleeper that you haven't already tried....I'm clutching at straws here, but if your DD uses a dummy (which i think i saw mentioned), then is it likely that she might stir, realise she doesn't have it anymore, not be able to find it and then wake more because she's upset? If possible, we counteract this by giving DD 3 dummies when going to sleep (she has one in each hand and mouth and swaps and swaps til she falls asleep) and then spread numerous dummies around the cot once she's asleep so she can always find one when she wakes.... Apart from that...does she eat much during the day? She wouldn't be waking due to hunger would she?

Good luck! It sounds like a very tough situation.

Big hugs hunny, my DS is the same. He is sleeping a bit better now at 18months, but is still waking on average 3-4 times a night with a few nights worse (never better lol). From about 6 months he was a 2 hourly waker, teething had him waking every hour. At about 12 months he woke every 45mins for nights on end. I tried everything (except cc/cio as I wont do it), I even tried cutting dairy out. It helped a little, in the sense that he seemed less restless when sleeping and was a bit easier to settle. But not a magic cure. Teething was what really really threw him around, he would teeth weeks/months on end. Its only now he has cut 16 teeth (all except the 2yo molars), that his sleep is now very slowly improving. Its very slow progress though, 2 steps forward then 10 steps back. He was down to 2-3 wake ups a few weeks ago, got sick so went back to basically hourly, and this last week has woken for 2 hours every night and screamed so i just have to wait it out with lots of cuddles.
Oh and we do co-sleep, what I found saved my sanity was to stop trying to keep him in his cot in his own room (he ended up in our bed at some point every night anyway), and put his cot beside our bed when he was 12months. While he didnt improve his sleep much, it was easier for me to get him back to sleep. He only ever settles with a breastfeed at night, so all settling fell on my shoulders (we tried with DP but he got so worked up he would projectile vomit within minutes). So having him right beside me all night meant I just rolled over to feed. I was still so so tired and sleep deprived, but it was just the *little* bit easier itms.

I know that isnt much help, but as by the posts here you can see you are definitely not alone :hug:

Just trying to reply your PM and your inbox is full. Be sure to empty the sent box as well....

Olive what's that spray?

Wow it's amazing how many children have sleeping problems. It's not that I thought I was the only one but I thought maybe my kids were pretty bad and I was doing something wrong. I have read heaps of books and different opinions and seen nurses and tried heaps but I think I have confused myself lol

Yep have tried putting a few different dummies in bed and glow in the dark ones and now I have put one attached to her top but she isn't overly Impressed with the dummy

I think it's trying to get her to be able to self settle. Tonight I put her down awake again. Think I just have to keep persisting.

I cant believe how much it can effect you with no sleep. It's probably a bit of grief as well

Thanks so much. I really appreciate you're posts

Rescue remedy has a spray with a sleep aid in it. Might help you both?
------------------------
unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. its not.
Dr Seuss

My son was rubbish at sleeping until about 4-6 months ago. He is 3.

Not trying to get you down, but wanted to let you know I know exactly what its like. DS used to wake frequently, sometimes 2 hrly. He also stayed awake 1-2 hours at a time from 12 months through to over 2 yrs. I tried everything too. The only way I got more sleep was to co-sleep from the first wake up. I didn't do that until after he turned 2 though so was sitting up for long periods, 2 to 3 times a night for 12 months and working 3 days a week.

The tiredness does change your personality. Try to remember its fatigue induced and temporary. As soon as I got more sleep, I coped better. Persevere with co-sleeping. She will get it eventually and settle and you'll get more sleep/feel more rested.

I'm sorry I don't have more answers. I think its brain wave related for some kids (the length of awake time between sleep cycles). Is her sleep ok/average during the day? Cause if she's all over the place with daysleeps too you could have her melatonin checked but I think that as a causal factor is quite rare.

It will pass. :hug:

Sent from my phone.

Could you alternate night with her daddy, so she sleeps with him 1night and you the next? so that you can get some sleep.
there was a thread on here about sleep remedys not too long ago but Im on my phone and can't find it.
There are herbal sleeping aids and medical 1s too of course, but you would need check with a Dr or natrapath about suitability for her age.
We had a good herbal1 we used on ds2 who is 4 to break his bad sleep cycle

------------------------
unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. its not.
Dr Seuss

Hey

well i have been persisting putting her down awake...last night wasnt too bad, she woke around 12 ish i think so i just resettled her, then i think she woke at 3 so this time i kept her in there, got her some milk and resettled her a couple times..then she woke around 5 and i brought her in with me until i had to get up for work just after 6......least its better than being up for hour and half or so...because then im awake awake..she seems to be sleeping in longer periods......ill just keep the putting her down awake and during her day sleeps and see if it slowly improves...

She seems to be ok during her day sleeps and we have a routine...

Yeah she could, just a bit worried because he is big and sleeps heavily...

She wakes same times roughly as dd does for milk. the rest of our wakes are normal grumbles and dummy hunts.
Not many people actually sleep solidly with no wake ups- we just don't remember them, a plunket nurse told me

------------------------
unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. its not.
Dr Seuss

Hiya, sounds like you are having a tough time with the sleeping. I'm so impressed with everything that you have tried.

My son is a good sleeper and I was also trying to think what do I do to get him to sleep so easily but the thing is I think they either sleep well or they don't. I don't think the parents really have too much control over it.

The only thing I would suggest is for a daytime sleep just put her down with a 'special' book or soft toy. One that she doesn't ever have at any other time. If she just has quiet time for a while that's fine, it doesn't matter if she isn't sleeping. If she does go off to sleep then don't let her sleep for more than 2.5hrs. If she does go to sleep don't let her have an afternoon nap, hold her out until 7pm and put her down for her night sleep then. If she just lay in her cot and had quiet time then get her up when she is ready and put her down again at 3pm for another try. If she falls asleep then don't let her sleep past 5pm and still put her down for her night sleep around 7/7.30pm.

This is just what I do with my DS. Like I said I don't think it's really what I'm doing as much as that I just got lucky with a natural good sleeper.

Oh....any when he is teething he wakes through the night.

Hope you get a good nights sleep soon.

Hi,

My 1 year old son wakes multiple times at night since birth as well. What we are currently doing which is helping is stretching his day nap to 1 nap only. previously he would have 2 naps of 45mins to 1 1/2 hours each. But I have since forego his morning nap and made it around midday which he would often sleep for 2 to 2 1/2 hrs. His bed time is earlier at 7:00 pm but he usually sleep through the night and only wakes at around 5 am to fall back asleep most of the time with minimal re-settling. He now generally sleeps longer at time, approximately 11 to 11 1/2 hrs. There are times when he wakes too early (ie 5 am and won't go back to sleep). I would give him 2 naps just to make up to a total of 13 hrs of the recommended time (and also because he would be too sleepy by 10:30 am anyway.)

Not sure if this helps but in my experience my son is more wakeful at night if he sleeps too late (or too much) in the afternoon.

Kahlan

I don't see it as so many kids here having sleep problems, but more showing the broad range of what is sleep in the age group ;)

Have you looked at diet? Honestly, some foods and additives can keep kids ups. DD1 was terrible for it, thankfully DD2 not so much so. For some kids it can be something as simple as tomato dish two nights in a row. For my girls, it was a food colouring common in yoghurts, icecream etc

Another thing, is you could be trying too much, different techniques can take some time to settle in. Also some main stream technique just do not work for every kid. With us, DD1 needed music (could be techno some night), even lights, whilst DD2 needed it much darker and quieter (if anything too quiet and dark would have DD1 going hysterical).

:

---

I don't see it as so many kids here having sleep problems, but more showing the broad range of what is sleep in the age group ;)

---

Actually you are quite right. Most parents aren't told that it's normal for babies and toddlers to wake in the night until they are 3 or 4 years old.

DS1 slept 12hrs most nights, but not more than 20 min during the day. DD woke every 3 hours every night until she was 3 or so. DS2 does something in the middle- sleeping well some nights, waking all night others.

Currently I'm studying paediatric and community nursing and the fact that young children have so many development changes in their first 3 years that can disturb their sleep.
While I know this may not be comforting at the moment it does mean for the majority of kids their sleep patterns settle down after 3 or 4 years old. It doesn't last for ever :)

It is 3.30am and I have beeen awake since 1.20am with my almost-3-year old. :)
I will now stay awake until she goes to bed tonight, probably around 8pm.
Off to buy my WonderWoman suit in the morning :)

No help, except to say you will be ok because the other alternative is to lose your mind xx