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DH & I have had Oliver picked out since 18wks when we found out we were having a boy, Whilst I still really really LOVE the name, im starting to hear myself suggest other names "just in case" it doesnt seem to suit him, even though we have his name on the wall above his cot & a few personalized things for him!
Anyone else done all that and gone on to choose another name at birth?
I've never gone as far as you with the name thing as in actually buying stuff with her name on it, decorating etc (way too superstitious for that as well as a git DH), but DD1 was pretty definitely Sarah for months. When she was born there was just no way she was a Sarah, so she became something else.
I have a pang every now and then that I didn't push harder for a different name for one of my girls, so I would definitely say if your boy comes out and you're not feeling the Oliver (which I love by the way), then choose something else
We had DS's name picked out at 20 weeks. We didn't buy personalised stuff or anything. We didn't change our mind and his name suits him well. Even if I had of thought another name was better, once it was picked, DH was set and no way was he changing his mind. Even with DD, we were tossing up two names right up to 38 weeks when we settled on one. When I suggested that the other one suited her better, he looked at me like I was stupid. Decision was made and that was that. He can be very stubborn though. Even now, even though I love DD's name, I still sometimes think of the other one and I still think it would have suited her.
I didn't choose my names until later - except with DD3. She was always going to be Calliope Lotus - I didn't do anything on her wall, but I had an album on facebook filled with pregnancy pics and stuff that was labelled "C.L.D" - and there was no doubt that that was going to be her name.
However, we had doubts about it at 37 weeks when I had a scan and her face just didn't really look like I expected it to - she looked like DD1 - if she had looked like DD2 we would have probably gone with it. So we came up with another option and then when she was born nearly 5 weeks later, we pondered it for 3 days, and decided she was definitely not a Calliope. So we went with the other name.
I have had each of my girls names picked out early and when they were born I didn't even consider changing them. We have had a boys name chosen since we were pregnant with DD1 and we still plan to use it if this baby is a boy.
However, my brother has a newborn daughter and they had a name chosen which he had liked for years (he had 3 boys first) and it wasn't until his daughter was born that he changed his mind and she was named something else (a much nicer name to if you ask me:))
I love the name Oliver BTW. We don't have a boys middle name picked out yet but Oliver is on my list.
DD1 was Chloe til about 20/25 weeks. I'm glad I changed my mind, because she has way too many Chloe's as friends :lol:
DD2 was Shallae from 13 weeks. We told people the name we were thinking of & I loved it.
But at 37 weeks it just didn't sound the same. I don't know what happened, just got over it I think. We picked a name we agreed on at 38 weeks & I settled on it. I've always wished I had time to find something else, but her name more than suits her.
DD3 was also up in the air til she was a few hours old. She ended up being a name that was never even on our list! She was going to be Kayla, but we were never settled on that name.
DS's name was on our list from before DD1 was thought of. I had other suggestions, but it never changed.
I never bought things with the names on them before birth. I never told people we had a definate name, because they were never 100% to me until they were born & named.
BUT there's nothing wrong with changing your mind!
We had a couple of names picked for DS but when he was born neither fit, so we came up with a new name. i think it was about 12 hours before we finalised on a name.
We had a couple of names for DD, and when she was born, one fit straightaway and i still love her name and think it fits. DS, i sometimes wonder if we found the right name, but i haven't found another that fits better.
We had Nerida picked for DD2 but when she was born she just didn't fit the name. The one we went with really suits her and the shortened version even better.
TBH (hoping I don't offend anyone, it's not my intention), I don't know that a baby 'looks' like any name. It's just a baby. After a day or 2 you won't think of them as any other name.
We had our names picked from conception, even before conception.
I don't agree with this - I've often struggled with the names that I have given my children and wondered for at least the first year if its the right one for them.:
So you know, you may not think that their name totally suits them, but I believe they grow into it - sometimes it takes longer than a day or two.
I agree. I'm not sure they 'look' like a different name but I know it takes me awhile for a name to feel right.... I still struggle with a few of mine but DH named them.
Ok struggle might be A bit strong. Maybe I should have said 'I wonder ' if it's right. Day dream even???
Yeah, I knew from the minute DD2 was born the name we were thinking of first didn't suit her. She may've grown into it :dunno: She'd need a complete personality change to suit that name :lol:
DD2 was going to be April, picked out almost as soon as she was deemed a female. A few weeks before she was born, I revisited a name I had dismissed due to being too close to a relative and I could not get it off my mind. April suddenly felt completely wrong.
I think babies can suit or not suit a name. I know DD2 would have suited April but I think her actual name fits a lot better. Another name we were considering would not have worked at all; Allegra but it would have suited DD1 perfectly (although her actual name does also).
Well, I was shocked when we found out that we were having a boy. DH suggested we name DS2 after my father. It was agreed and he got my dad's first and second name.
Whenever I told someone his name when he was born, they would say, Oh, is he named after someone?
His name is Robert and well, personally I think it's a lovely name. Mind you, it took me ages to get used to calling him Robert - but he's grown into it perfectly! And heaven forbid he's even picked up a few of my dear old dads traits!!
Oh and I think Oliver is a lovely name.
I don't know if Liebling "suits" his name, but the hassle we had of picking names meant that he has his name and it WILL fit. Having said that, if we'd gone with Matthias I reckon it would suit him just as much. And I have had people think his name is Daniel or William too, so call him that (much to our confusion - although both of those were also on my shortlist). Because I associate him with his name, rather than picking what I think his name is associated with and think he needs a certain look/characteristic to "be" that name.
TBH, if I were picking a name based on looks and character, it would probably be Bilbo. But just because he is short, eats 3 breakfasts a day and I cut his hair so he looks like a hobbit (sorry Liebs, but that's what you said you wanted when I had scissors in my hand!) doesn't mean he's less precious cos another name would suit better.
So I say go with Oliver if you like the name. You can always give him the name he "looks like" (I don't understand that either!) as a middle name and call him that if you like. I know an Oliver who gets called his middle name because it suits him more.
(eta - Liebs would like to be called Kit, for preference. So even though his name isn't Christopher, we call him Kit when he wants to be. Nothing to stop you just using a name you like without it being your son's actual name.)
We picked both our kids' names right from the start of each pregnancy, before we had even confirmed them. I worried we'd been too hasty and chosen names way too easily, we didn't even need a shortlist, it just happened. Picked a name out of thin air and liked it.
I guess when each child was born it took a little adjustment to get to know them, they were new entities in our world regardless of any name we had selected for them. They were loved, deeply, but we didn't know them. Some people say a baby shows their personality from the moment they're born, but I don't see it.
I agree with those few who said your child will grow into their name. You could call your boy "rock" and he could be a hardcore skater punk, a softly spoken artist, a hardball lawyer, a mad scientist, a brain surgeon, an electrician, a maths teacher... The name is flexible and will bend to suit your child, not the other way around.
We had a name picked before we even fell pregnant (while TTC) and we were totally set on that.....then I think about halfway through the pregnancy another name was mentioned and the more I thought about it, the more I started to prefer this other name. So did DF. We're still not sure what she'll be called because we like both names and both middle names have special meaning, but we'll decide once she's here.
I haven't had the joy of picking a name for a baby...yet, but did for my fur babies, and their names are soo very them!
IMHO I think a name defines and identifies you, not you look like a such and such.
If that were the case, I'd be giving people lots of names they should really be called!
And in some countries, the order of birth determines your name, no room for originality there!
I love the name Oliver, but too similar (for my use) to a cousins DD name - Olivia, so no way I can use either!
So I'll advocate anyone else who can use it :smile:
I went to high school with an Ollie, he wasn't named Oliver just Ollie. But more recently I have heard that for a girl.
I worry more about how the name would sound and they would look, being 80 and introducing themselves - imagine 'Destiny' when she's 80!
(not wanting offend by the random pick of name)
Good Luck!
DD had her name as soon as we knew she was going to be a girl, I did have a list of girls names and DH and I would go through them but always went back to the original name.
With the twins we had 2 names picked out but then after about 6 weeks after we had settled on the names (around 23weeks) DH decided he wasn't too keen on one name chosen so I frantically started searching for a new name as I didn't want 1 twin with a name and 1 without. Saying that when I was carrying them it was always the baby on the right had the R name and the one on the left the L name.
My left sided baby was always coming first but when they were delivered my Ob told me it was the baby on the right born first, so hence he got the R name. It wasn't until they were 5 days old and both had kidney ultrasounds (my right side baby had a genetic kidney problem picked up before birth) that we found out the my left sided baby was in fact born first (he had no kidney issue) and therefore got his brothers name.
It must have been fate though as there is no way my boys suited each others names at all, so the names they have (even though they were swapped at birth) suit the little men they have become :)
DS2's first name was going to be his middle name, and the name that was going to be his first name was demoted to middle name, and then turfed altogether ...
The replacement middle name was then turned about a week before he arrived, and we went with a completely different middle name.
:)
We chose both our boys names well before we even knew they were boys! But for the last 20 weeks after we knew the sex I was constantly searching for a name I just might like better, turns out I didn't and they both suit their names!
A friend of mine had indi@nn@h picked out for their little lady and even a few hours after she was born that was her name, needless to say she is now ch@rllote :)
Another friend had a name chosen for her little man well before he was born but didn't tell anyone then her SIL had a bub 3 days before she did and the name they chose was nearly the same so her bub went without a name for like 2 weeks
I think we will keep the 2 names in mind, although Im leaning more towards the 2nd one and using Oliver as a middle name, which will mean he will have 2 middle names as i really want to use my granda's name in there, DS1 has 2 middle names as well so it will be kind of keeping up with that too if that makes sense!
Im not sure ive ever really gotten the whole looks like a name thing either, im pretty keen on the new name which i wont mention unless we actually use it, I want it to be a surprise and I know a couple of people IRL on here!
Thanks for all your thoughts, stories an opinions :)
xx