Surname Advice

Im just wondering if anyone can offer some advice or know what i can/should do.

A bit of back ground. I have children to a previous marriage and they all have my ex husbands surname. I now have a new DF and we are expecting our first child. He is not the bio father however (long story, dont wish to go into it to much).

We are both wanting our baby to have his surname, is this possible?

If not, then bub will carry my maiden name until such time as we get married (when ever that may be, IF we ever do), Then bub and i will change our names to DF's surname.

You can give bub what ever surname you like :) Totally your choice :)

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You can give bub what ever surname you like :) Totally your choice :)

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Yep that.

Even if DF doesnt appear on bubs birth certificate it wont be questioned by anyone (eg Centrelink)?
Due to him not being bio dad, he doesnt wish to be named on certificate

You can still give the baby his name. You can see a social worker & explain the circumstances to c'link if it comes up, I think they'd just assume its his child. Will you be claiming CSA from the bio father? If so his name will need to be on the birth cert, or a paternity test done. If not, & they know your DP isn't the father, you will have issues with your FTB.

Someone else will know more & explain it better though.

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Even if DF doesnt appear on bubs birth certificate it wont be questioned by anyone (eg Centrelink)?
Due to him not being bio dad, he doesnt wish to be named on certificate

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I'm confused.... he wants to give the baby his name, just not officially? Are you going to be claiming child support from the baby's biological father?

According to the law (from CSA website):

... a person is the child’s biological father if:
-the person is named as the father on the birth certificate or adoption certificate
-the person signs a statutory declaration (a legal document) saying he is the father
-the children were born during the marriage
-the children were born within 44 to 20 weeks of a period of living together [emphasis added]
-the court makes an order or finding that a person is the children’s father or a person who is liable to pay child support.

Yes want to use his surname. Won't be claiming Support from bio. Have our own private agreement.
Think I'll stick with my maiden name, has to be easier and from what I've read, changing it later on seems simple enough to do.

Thanks for the replies :)

I think you'll still have difficulty with centrelink & CSA. If the child isn't your partners, you'll need to claim CSA officially from the bio father, or you will only be entitled to minimum FTB payments. I really don't think the name will have much to do with anything.
C'link will assume the baby is your partners, I guess, but if he doesn't want his name on the birth cert, will he be ok with that?

Like I said, you'll need to speak someone who knows a bit more about that side of things.

Do it now, because changing it later is a PITA and you will have to go through deed poll I think and you will have to pay for everything twice - two lots of birth certificate. There is no law saying you can't do it now, so why go through the hassle of doing it one way and then having to change it all - especially with centerlink etc.

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I think you'll still have difficulty with centrelink & CSA. If the child isn't your partners, you'll need to claim CSA officially from the bio father, or you will only be entitled to minimum FTB payments. I really don't think the name will have much to do with anything.
C'link will assume the baby is your partners, I guess, but if he doesn't want his name on the birth cert, will he be ok with that?

Like I said, you'll need to speak someone who knows a bit more about that side of things.

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I agree.
I am going through something similar ATM in relation to DS. He had my last name which I recently changed (and we're different from DD)

Best to speak to someone at both CSA and centrelink to get advice in regards to their protocols

Personally I would never give a child a name of someone who was not their biological parent. What happens if you break up with this guy? Then your child has a name of someone you may never see again. All very well to say you'd change it but a name is part of a child's identity. You can't just change it on a whim.

My advice? Give the child your surname.

I totally agree N2L!

I'm with N2L.

I hope you've had independent legal advice. If you haven't - go get it. Now.

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Personally I would never give a child a name of someone who was not their biological parent. What happens if you break up with this guy? Then your child has a name of someone you may never see again. All very well to say you'd change it but a name is part of a child's identity. You can't just change it on a whim.

My advice? Give the child your surname.

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I totally agree N2L!

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I'm with N2L.

I hope you've had independent legal advice. If you haven't - go get it. Now.

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I'm assuming based on her post, that the OP and her DP may have used a donor situation to conceive this child. I think anyone who uses a donor would find what you've all said a bit rude TBH.

I think that most men who were expecting a child via donor sperm would want to be legally recognised as a parent, either by being named on birth certificate or through a formal adoption process.

How does the bio dad feel about the child having the name of someone else? Unless df intends to legally adopt the baby, I would go with your maiden name.

Yes it was a donor situation, in which he wants nothing to do with the child, nor know I am preg so he has not been told.

If this is a much longed-for baby for the both of you why not put your DF down as the father when you submit your paperwork after the birth? For all intents and purposes CSA and centrelink will both "assume" the child is his anyway. Won't he have to adopt the baby once it is born for the birth certificate to be changed?

If you do not name a father on the birth certificate you will most likely have to provide an affidavit explaining why the father is unknown....In the case of AI or IVF through a registered fertility clinic, the mother's affidavit must be accompanied by a letter from the clinic, confirming the circumstances of the child's conception and the anonymity of the sperm donation.

Legislation has changed in many states and the donor is, for all purposes, not considered to be the father - you should really get legal advice on this.

We were looking at DH adopting my son (who, by the way, doesn't have his bio father's details recorded on his birth certificate - only mine). TBH it's
all too difficult for a piece of paper. DH is his father and DS1 is happy - actually he will be "adopting" DH on his 18th birthday.

Oh, and congratulations on your pregnancy!!

If thats the case, I really think your DP should reconsider putting his name on the birth certificate. He won't need to adopt the baby officially for you to change the name (my ex's name was changed at 10), again, your child can have any name you want, but it would make life easier in every way if you were to put your DP down as the father.

Also, you can just leave the name of the father blank on the birth certificate. Women do fall pregnant unexpectedly without really knowing the father to be able to put details on it. You don't need an affidavit for those situations.

If you did it now, nothing would need to be explained to centrelink, CSA wouldn't need to get involved & you won't have to do all that paperwork later on.

Does your DP still consider this his baby, even though he's not the bio father? Maybe you need to talk to him about this. If you two were to seperate down the track, would he still have a relationship with the baby? It seems because you guys went through other measures to conceive, that he really doesn't feel as though its his child & I think you really need to address that now. He needs to commit in full now, before the baby comes. A father is the person who loves & raises a child, not the person who supplied the DNA.

I have a friend who has just gotten pregnant via a donor (through an IVF clinic) and her husband is being named as the father on the Birth Certificate as to her husband he is and forever will be the father of this child. She told me that there will then be an addendum (spell??) to the birth certificate with a donor number so if the child wishes to make contact at a later stage then it is recorded but to all intents and purposes her husband is seen in all circumstances as being the father of the child not the donor.

If your partner sees himself as being the 'father' of this baby and is going to be there for the rest of it's life, then I think he should be on the birth certificate. If however he views the child as being 'yours' and will only be in it's life as a father figure while you are together (this could be forever or shorter) then you may want to omit him from the birth certificate and use your name.

Say the baby had been conceived with a donor egg, would you put yourself as the mother on the birth certificate or the donor? We dont need to know all the details, but if your DF wants to be this child's father, then why wouldnt he put his name on the birth certificate? Will the child have another father? If not, then I think it would be best for the child to have the man who raises him/her named as the father.

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Personally I would never give a child a name of someone who was not their biological parent. What happens if you break up with this guy? Then your child has a name of someone you may never see again. All very well to say you'd change it but a name is part of a child's identity. You can't just change it on a whim.

My advice? Give the child your surname.

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Agree with this

I'd forgotten about this thread.

Ive since spOken with BDM about the situation and have been told that when I register bub, I need to include a stat dec and where bubs surname comes from (should we use DF's).

After a lot of discussion, bub will have my name. Once we get married then we will consider changing his/her surname, just like I'll change my own.

Just on a side note, whilst DF knows its not his child, he will raise bub as his own and be known as dad