Baby's Sleep - I've decided its 10% what you do and 90% Luck

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October 31st, 2012, 10:43 AM
MummyNaomi

Baby's Sleep - I've decided its 10% what you do and 90% Luck

Now that I am a parent of 2 - I've decided that a baby's sleep (or lack there-of) is pretty much out of a parents control. I've had one average sleeper and one great sleeper and done exactly the same with both. So why are they different? I think the babies personality, metabolism and gestation at birth are the bigger factors

While I am a firm believer that setting routines - eg a bath before bedtime, feeding quietly all night etc all HELP, as long as a baby is healthy, fed and comfortable and in a relaxing environment then you've probably done the most you can. The rest is kinda up to chance!

My observation with my two is that the gestation at birth and metabolism seem to be the difference - DS was a month early and has a fast metabolism so burns energy quickly, so he needed more feeds overnight. DD however seems to be like me, super slow metabolism, was born full term and is a sleeper. Both were wrapped from birth, fed to sleep, slept in our room in the basinett, breastfed, followed the same bedtime routine, the only other difference between them is that DS had a dummy.

Interested to hear what others think. I'm super stoked that DD is spoiling me with her sleeping, but in reality its nothing I'm doing as her mother, its just the way she is...... (I get up to DS at 3.5yrs more than I do to DD at 3 months!! She could teach him a thing or two :rofl: )
October 31st, 2012, 11:23 AM
Razzberry

I totally agree!!

I parent both my kids the same. I know lots of people think Im soft on my daughter and thats why she never slept and still doesn't sleep well (3 years old now). She takes hours to go to sleep and wakes often.
My son (7 months) has always been an awesome sleeper!

I thought I was a bad mother that must have been doing all the wrong things with my daughter, but now I KNOW it wasn't me, its just that its how my children are.

Sometimes I wish (and I know this sounds awful) that parents who say "My DD slept through the night and is in an awesome routine because I followed this book or I did this, or I put in alot of hard work". Well guess what I put in alot of hard work, read everybook on sleep and routines and it did NOTHNG to help my daughter!!
October 31st, 2012, 11:43 AM
wysiwyg

Re: Baby's Sleep - I've decided its 10% what you do and 90% Luck

I agree, although for the first six months my two were the same both great but since then they have completely diverged.
October 31st, 2012, 12:06 PM
Novella

Agree although my two earlybirds slept through from 8 and 9 weeks and I made it to 37+4with dd3 and she still wakes multiple times a night!
October 31st, 2012, 12:15 PM
willow5

I totally agree!! I have 3 and they were all soooo different. You'd be in trouble with my DS3 if you were strict on routine because just will not play along lol DS1 was always hard to get down but once he was he was out. DS2 would sleep at the drop of a hat. Anywhere any time and nothing would wake him until he was ready, and he couldn't stay awake past about 6.30-7pm until he was about 3, he'd just drop off at the dinner table or wherever he was and that was it out for the night. Slept through from about 4 weeks. :D DS3 however didn't sleep more than 2 hrs 2 1/2 if I was lucky, day or night until he was 2. Nearly killed me with sleep deprivation.
October 31st, 2012, 12:35 PM
MummyNaomi

Baby's Sleep - I've decided its 10% what you do and 90% Luck

Actually there is one thing that I do think affects my DD. I am caffeine free as it does seem to affect her sleeping if I drink coffee or cola
October 31st, 2012, 12:46 PM
Rowellen

I was caffeine free for DS but not DD and they have both been shockers with sleep.
October 31st, 2012, 01:00 PM
Bloom

You know, I think I disagree to some extent with this. Yes, all children are different and they require different amount of sleep and food.

But I've got to say when people say to me "Ooh aren't you lucky that both your boys do/don't do xyz", I often feel like saying - "it's not luck, it is what we are doing!". If I have a third who turns out to be similar to both my boys, then I will feel more confident in this. (I should say that I'm not restricting this to newborn sleep habits, but other things as well).
October 31st, 2012, 01:04 PM
Sagres

I agree totally! I think it is true for a lot of things with babies really....you can do what ever till your blue in the face but I reckon on many fronts we can only influence things like 10 or 20%, but ultimately we just have the hand we are dealt. At some point you
(by you I mean you, me, everyone, not specifically you!) need to just realise this is the way things will be and it is less effort working with it that against it!
October 31st, 2012, 02:00 PM
willow5

:

I agree totally! I think it is true for a lot of things with babies really....you can do what ever till your blue in the face but I reckon on many fronts we can only influence things like 10 or 20%, but ultimately we just have the hand we are dealt. At some point you
(by you I mean you, me, everyone, not specifically you!) need to just realise this is the way things will be and it is less effort working with it that against it!

Absolutely! Much easier to go with it than to struggle trying to change it. You can only control things to a certain point.
October 31st, 2012, 02:00 PM
RhiChiChi

Having spoken to many second & third time parents I'd say it is probably fairly accurate. My cousing swears by this. Her DD is not a great sleeper, constantly waking at night whereas her DS is a much better sleeper, I think he may sleep through?? Perhaps she was a little more relaxed with her DS and that has contributed to him being a better sleeper but they were both term babies, good feeders etc...
October 31st, 2012, 04:45 PM
onthefly

99% paternal DNA.
October 31st, 2012, 04:47 PM
Rowellen

:

99% paternal DNA.

:rofl: I think you've got it in one!
October 31st, 2012, 05:56 PM
HotI

:

99% paternal DNA.

:rofl: ha ha
October 31st, 2012, 06:49 PM
peanutter

I will come back and respond when I've had some sleep.

So different from DS1 ... so very different ...
October 31st, 2012, 07:33 PM
chody47

Noooooo! Don't tell me this lol! I like to think that DD sleeps so well due to something I've done and our next DD will be exactly the same. Don't let me lose hope lol.
October 31st, 2012, 07:42 PM
onthefly

it's a nice thought.... except for those whose babies don't sleep 'well', who must then be terrible parents :rofl: There are a LOT of dreadful parents around, I must say
October 31st, 2012, 07:46 PM
PumpkinZulu

Baby's Sleep - I've decided its 10% what you do and 90% Luck

DD slept amazingly for the first 6 months, and pretty woefully for the next 6 months, and then sometimes okay for the next 4. So either our parenting style is really erratic or it's her :lol:
October 31st, 2012, 08:56 PM
Jakabella

I dont agree with Gestation - both mine were 42 weeks and DD slept through from 3 months old and DD is only just sleeping through now at 18 months!
October 31st, 2012, 09:23 PM
Taurean

Baby's Sleep - I've decided its 10% what you do and 90% Luck

Totally different sleepers here to but my girls were practically identical gestation. DD1 was 38+5 and DD2 was 38+4 so that theory doesn't apply to my two.

As for tricks, I tried the same with both and both had a dummy. DD1 comp fed but always started with the breast before her night sleep. DD2 is 100% BF.

DD1 was an awesome night sleeper from early on and slept through consistently from 9 weeks. She was a super crappy day sleeper (unless in the sling) from 5 weeks til 6 months though!

DD2 was a good night sleeper but it went to poo from 5-8.5 months :o She has only slept through (11-12 hours) two or three times and she's 10.5 months. She's usually only waking once now though, phew! On the flip side, she's been a brilliant day sleeper from day dot. Rarely do we have a day where she doesn't have her sleeps and decent ones at that.

So yup, I think the personality really is the key