WWYD? People want to touch my baby

I was out at a local cafe having a drink while feeding my 7 week old DD her afternoon bottle when one of the waitresses came up and started admiring DD and touching her on her head, tummy, arm and hand.
Im happy for people to chat with DD and I (I'm very social) but I don't like people touching her. Her immune system is still immature and I know it will strengthen with exposure (firstly to family and friends etc) but I'm still not comfortable with strangers touching her.

How would you tell someone not to touch your baby without being rude?

I'll PM you a link to a store. It is American, but it doesn't take too long to come over.
It's profits go to the Gastroschisis Foundation which is lovely, too. Our kids have a very comprimised immunity.
It has all sorts, bibs, shirts, onesies with different slogans on them such as "No Germs allowed" "Warning! Hands Off! Immune Comprimised" "Respect my Space! Dont touch" "Look but don't touch" "Wash your hands before touching mine" "I know I'm cute but please don't touch"

You could always put up your own sign using one of those slogans.

Charlotte- can you pm me the store as well please. I am forever having this issue with Charlie and it peeves me.

I even had a bloke lining up ahead of me in a store with black, filthy hands. Obviously a gardener or something. He was buying potting mix and started talking to Charlie in my arms and then grabbed one of Charlie's hands. Charlie was only about three months and still had the feeding tube down his nose, so obviously not a well baby. I couldn't believe this guy!! Just stepped back and very obviously rubbed Charlie's hands with antibiotic gel. So infuriating!!!

I would just tell people 'please do not touch my baby', to me it is more rude them doing it than you telling them not to.

We get this a lot. I just smile and say please dont touch the kids dont like it- they hate it!
I have also gotten very good at seeing hands coming for us and moving kids out of the way.
I hate it when people try to take DD dummy out of her mouth and tell me she shouldnt have it. It helps her reflux so dont judge!

This happened a lot when DS was tiny. At 6 days old, an old lady stopped us in the shopping centre and asked how old he was. I said 6 days, and she reached out and touched his face. I instinctively jerked away from her and stepped backwards. I simply said "Ok, have a lovely day, bye" and off we went.

When out with him in the pram, I would drape a light cloth over the pram to deter strangers hands from entering. Worked a charm!

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I hate it when people try to take DD dummy out of her mouth and tell me she shouldnt have it. It helps her reflux so dont judge!

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This really annoyed me too. We had the same thing all the time and, like your DD, it helped her reflux. Why can't people just mind their own business?

I carry mine - then I could always control who did and didn't touch them, because they would have to first invade 'my' personal space to get close enough and that limits most people by itemself. ;)

I wear her too sometimes Misty and people still try to touch her!

I just put up my hand, and say, "Please don't touch him."

No explanation, no excuses, no apology.

Don't touch my kid.

No different than if someone tried to touch me, if I didn't want to be seen.


When pregnant, I've had plenty of people touch my stomach. If I don't stop them in time, I pat *their* stomach in return.

It speaks volumes.

I did that too when people tried to touch my stomach when I was pg Peanutter. I think they 'got it' fast when they realized they hadn't asked if it was ok to touch me.

Ill be the odd one out and say it never really bothered me. As long as they weren't picking up or kissing my baby I didn't mind touching. They have just as much chance of catching something air born in my (expert ;)) opinion.

I'm with helle, never minded people touching my kids - as long as they didn't stick their grotty fingers in their mouths... :rolleyes: But that was usually my FIL, so I sorted that out pretty quickly! It's ok to simply not like it, but seriously, there is really nothing that your kids will catch from a simple touch of someone's hand to their arm or even cheek.

If you don't like it, I would simply say 'please don't touch him/her' and leave it at that.

Originially I hated people touching my kids but one day an old lady stopped me and asked about DD who was a few months old at the time and she just touched her hand. It only took a few minutes of my time and the old lady smiled at me and thanked me for letting her say hello to her baby as she never gets to talk to anyone, is very lonely and she loved it so much when her children where babies and it brings back so many lovely memories for her.
That conversation changed me completely. I now always stop for a quick chat and let them touch my kids on the hand/arm (within reason eg no kissing, holding, cuddling) and as long as it doesn't distress/put my kids in harm as you never know what it could mean to that person and it only takes a minute of my time.
I also thinks it teaches my kids a valuable lesson about having time for other people, not being so busy as not to take the time to say hello to someone.
If my kids had a serioud illiness I would be completely hands off my kid if it could endanger their life.

No one means any harm by it. Most of us love babies and wanting to touch them seems natural. But if you don't like it, please say.

If your child is immune compromised, or unwell then obviously it is necessary to say something. No one would find it rude - it may mean they have a bit of a think about it and perhaps are more careful next time. Not all of us immediately 'think' before we act!

If you have an issue with people touching your child - just gently ask them not to. It's ok. It's not rude. But then neither should you assume that they are rude by wanting to share a small moment with your little blessing. You never know their history, as Liviam said.

I don't just randomly touch other peoples babies - but i rarely take the time to read their 'slogan' t-shirts either.

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It's ok to simply not like it, but seriously, there is really nothing that your kids will catch from a simple touch of someone's hand to their arm or even cheek.

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Actually they are a few thing you can catch from a simple touch. Especially an immune compromised baby.
When I didn't want people touching my prem baby I would cover the pram with a blanket or sun-cover.

I'm going to go all high&mighty and say that it makes me feel phyically sick when I see people touching babies.
Who gives you the right to invade a babies' space? Just because they can't talk and object doesn't mean that they want you there? Do you go up to a random old lady you've never seen before and start rubbing her cheek and gooing over her?? No. So, why do it to a baby? They are human beings. Not pets.
People need to learn to keep their hands to themselves. I didn't let peopel touch my prem and I don't let people touch my full termer.
Friggin hacks me off.

I think babies are ppl too and most of them don't want a stranger's touch. By the time my babies could object they rarely wanted anyone except close family touching them. Even MIL would get a cry!

I say simply and politely, "please don't touch my baby". And I don't pass her around for cuddles either. Intimacy is not something I encourage with strangers.

I am more than happy to talk and smile and encourage my kids to do the same. But I personally would never physically handle another person without their express permission.

Thanks guys. I actually had the opportunity to put this into practice at the park with Teni Bear today when a woman approached, Asked how old DD is and began to touch her feet. I said "please don't touch her, your welcome to talk with her but please don't touch her" the woman said "oh" and just stayed squatting too close to me for a few minutes. Awkward!!

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Actually they are a few thing you can catch from a simple touch. Especially an immune compromised baby.

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Chrispe, what do you think your baby might catch from another person touching his her her arm?

MRSA and scabies are a couple of things. In fact the common cold. Person touches you baby's arm leaving germs, you then touch the arm, then spread the germs else where that way. Have done some small study on infection spread and prevention (at uni).

I've never had a stranger touch my baby! I think that's a bit forward. You should ask first.

But Chrispe, you can spread those diseases by touching the trolley in the supermarket and then picking up your baby to put them in the car. Or by sitting in a cafe and then picking your baby up to feed. Germs are everywhere, we are exposed to them all day every day. A person who appears healthy, with no skin open skin lesions, is no more likely to give your child a disease than general life is.

I don't have a problem with people simply not liking a stranger touching their baby, but I think it must be awful to wander round seeing every stranger as a possible disease threat.

FL, Is your baby immune compromised?

I never had many strangers trying to touch my babies but on the whole it didn't worry me. Babies are such a treasure - they spread joy just by being so if someone wants a tiny bit of that happiness then I don't see harm in it.

Onyx, no, she's not immune compromised.
Happy to spread the joy- DD definitely lights up people's faces :-)

This thread now has me worried that I"ll catch scabies or something when I'm out.

I think you should keep your baby home tbh.

The OP is just asking for ways to stop people touching her baby. I don't think she should have to justify why, and there's certainly no need for sarcasm.

Charlotte, I honestly think that if she fears her baby is in danger of getting sick, she should keep her baby home. There is no need for you to put your 2 cents worth in. If you don't like my response, don't read it.

It's a personal thing and if you are not comfortable with people touching her, you need to stand up for her. Great that you started practising already!!! I usually pop my hand in front of theirs to signal don't touch. My last baby did in fact get scabies from one small touch from a visitor when she was two weeks old. This experience was horrific as it was not diagnosed for many weeks. Not one other member in our family got it, just my little newborn baby.

Another person I know had her baby in hospital, the cleaner came up and rubbed the baby's face with his rubber gloves on and she ended up with a staph infection and very sick.

It can and does happen, and your mummy alert is finely tuned for you to listen to that, I would rather upset a stranger then not listen to the prompts to protect my baby!

Thanks everyone for your ideas and opinions. The topic is certainly much hotter than I'd imagined.
We will continue to go out and socialize with many groups of people... Mothers group, ABA meetings, at the local shops, cafe's and restaurants. After all DD, my partner and I are very social. I believe it's respectful to the child and to the parents to ask if you want to touch the baby. I think that the right thing for US is for me to continue to ask strangers not to touch DD. I think the exposure of being social and having close contact with family and friends is enough for now and that we can continue to light up people's days without them touching her.

Wonderful.
:hug:
:)