Printable View
Ok, with the big day rapidly approaching, I was wondering if anyone had any advice or suggestions on things to prepare, or do etc before #2 comes along.
I'm thinking things such as ways to prepare DD (as much as you can prepare a 2 year old), and ways to prepare us. Is there some thing you wished you did or didn't do before #2 arrived?
I have no answers, I'm in the same boat as you. Interested to hear others replies though!
What I have already been told is that the transition from 0 to 1 child is much harder than from 1-2 and so on. You've done the learning, you're already a seasoned mama. :) This is what I tell myself anyway!
I think it's very individual and depends on the age gap. My boys are 18 months apart and I found the first 15 odd months really hard going until they were kinda able to play together.
My only advice would be line up every support mechanism that you have and lock them in. Let go of any desire you have for a clean house / put away clothes / 3 course meals.
I find good the monthly meal planner in super food ideas mag. It sets out the week as well as what can be prepared on Sunday to get organised.
I also wouldn't be without my slow cooker.
But the support networks are the most important. I would have gone a bit batty without my parenting village.
I found having two was easier than just having DD. age gap is 17mths 1day lol
Main thing is having meals organised because unlike when you have your first the other child can't wait to eat.
Thanks for the advice! I'll definitely try to plan ahead meals as you are right - if DD is hungry she is hungry! She doesn't like to wait and I don't want to get caught in a trap of feeding her snacks because they're 'easy' whilst feeding the baby instead of proper meals. Would you recommend preparing lunch in advance then too? (Even something simple like a sandwich) so it's easy to grab if feeding bubs.
Keep the suggestions coming - I'm sure there are lots of us that could benefit from the experience of all of you Mum's with more than one kiddie!
Cut up fruit, veg, crackers, cold meat... whatever your DD likes to eat and put it in tupperware for easy grab and serve.
If there's anything she's 'almost there' with in terms of independence - getting up onto her car seat, getting shoes on... try to teac her now. All those little skills are a real help when you've got your arms full!
Put a stash of bibs, wipes, cloth nappies etc where she can reach them so she can be your little helper and go get stuff for you.
Fill your freezer, fill your neighbour's freezer, fill your Mum's freezer and then put the local take-away on speed dial.
... when baby is here: let it go. Whatever it is - dirty dishes, messy laundry, running late, 15 minute naps, greasy hair, 10 foot weeds in the garden, unanswered emails... Let it go. You'll get on top of it again eventually. Just be with your kids, rest when you can and take care of your physical and mental health. I wish so much that I'd just let go for a while. 15 months on and with perspective, there's so much that I didn't need to worry about. I just now wish that I'd sat on my lounge room floor with them both more and soaked it all up.
Thanks for the tips! I'll get to work filling the freezer in a few weeks when I stop working!
I try and do all kids food the night before each day, then set it up kinda like a lunch box. Means I'm not scrambling for crap snacks because someone is hungry and needs food NOW.
Same for dinner. If they aren't already, move your toddler to eating the same dinner as you. The days of cooking different meals for everyone are over. I try and prep some dinner the night before or make it during their nap during the day.
My other big thing is don't think of the toddlers nap time as time to get lots of stuff done. It's rest time for you too! Baby might not be asleep but I made sure I sat and rested during that time. The washing or whatever could wait.
I had a rough time with number two as she had reflux. Things that I did that helped or wish I'd done!
• slow cooker was great
• online Coles shopping, wish we'd done that earlier! Mainly to save time so DH could take out DS or let me have a nap
• be very organised as much as you can in advance to avoid stress. Eg lay out clothes night before, make preschool lunch night before, have snacks already prepared
• don't put unnecessary pressure on yourself. I had a few play dates for DS with quite a few preschool friends. It exhausted me and no one else did one!
• don't feel guilty for spending less time with no 1. It's a phase and it gets better.
• accept all help or ask for it
• freezer meals would have been very helpful
• buy all presents for birthdays coming up as you might not have time or feel like shopping
• I didn't have enough clothes to cover unpredictable cool weather. I had to buy extras and wish I'd done that earlier even though I thought I had enough!
• encourage dd to wash her hands a lot and not cough on baby.
• some new toys or DVDs might be a good investment to help keep her busy, you can even say they are from the baby as a gift
• a sling was a godsend for me as I had to use it a lot
• go to bed as early as you can!
Best wishes!!! However it goes by the end of the first year (like we are now) it will be a wonderful adventure and a privilege to see your two kids bond and to feel so much love :)
Great thread Chody :) Reading and taking mental notes. Actually, with this pregnancy brain what I'm more likely to do is revisit thread in a few weeks and get some things done!
I found DS coped well with the change, however I must admit I have let him watch ALOT more TV since DD arrived. When DD was a newborn for the first 2-3 weeks it was easier, once she woke up a bit and started madly feeding from 4-8pm most evenings we struggled for a couple of months.
From a Mummy perspective - I've found that my own time has simply disappeared, having 20 mins to myself to sit down with a coffee and jump on the computer is a sheer luxury these days. I tend to do everything else (online banking, FB, emails etc) on the iphone while BF.
Get dinner sorted as early in the day as possible
Always have a snack/drink available for the toddler before you start breastfeeding (even if they say they dont want one)
Get the toddler to help you as much as possible
Try not to fob the toddler off when they need you, I found that DD was most happy to lay on the floor with us while we play and everyone is happy this way.
Once the baby is big enough and assuming you have one, sit them in the reclined high chair to join the family at meal time. We found DS would fuss and not eat his dinner if I was BF on the couch, so once able, we returned to family dinners at the table to restore some evening sanity.
Oh evenings, try to be as organised as possible, I find this the most challenging time of the day - dinner, bath, bed, constantly feeding baby in the early days. I bath the baby and toddler together (teach the toddler not to splash while the baby is in the bath)
Be prepared that your partner will feel very neglected. We are struggling a bit with this at the moment. Two kids takes up most of my waking hours and as soon as they are in bed I just want to go to bed, but I know DH wants to spend time with me too. So we are trying to have an 'at home' date once a week, eg movie night with nibbles etc where I am totally spending time with him (phones, computers off etc)
My GF threw me a mothers blessing before Bubs #2 arrived and filled my freezer with cooked meals (I bought an extra chest freezer for the garage). I still have some in there months later, a total life saver many times over.
Also, I shop online (Groceries from coles online) and have a cleaner once a fortnight to give my house a big clean (bathrooms, floors, all the dusting etc), and one of the first things I do each morning is put a load of washing on.
Sounds hard, but its totally worth it, just try to be organised where possible. If only I could get them to have a daily nap at the same time, I'd be totally on top of everything, however, this has happened twice since DD was born :rofl:
Having two is lovely, the sibling love is divine, and having a house full of baby/toddler laughter is the best thing ever :)
I went from 1 to 3 (dd was 18mths old when the twins were born).
Plenty of pre prepared activites for when you are feeding. Also every morning I would make DD's lunch and snacks pretty much liks a lunch box as if she was going to school or daycare and then have that ready so when the twins feed time coincided with DD's lunch or snack time I would set up a little picnic on the floor for her so she would be near me to have food.
Also if your DD is still having afternoon sleeps, try and get her sleep to match at least one of the babies sleeps so you can have a couple of hours to prepare dinner, have a shower etc.
Once you get a routine established you will find that the baby is much more able to fit into your toddlers routine, don't try and make the toddler fit into the babies routine.
It will seem hard to start with but to be honest I wouldn't have it any other way :)
Thank you so much everyone for all the advice - it is wonderful. As the time gets closer and closer I'm sure I will look in here even more.
Right now I think I'm going to:
Start exploring more slow cooker recipes (we use ours occasionally, but I'm anticipating much more on the early months) - a slow cooker book may even be a good Christmas idea!
See how I go teaching DD to sleep in a 'big girl' bed and see how she responds to toilet training (I figure if it hasn't happened once bubs arrives it will be quite some time til I have the chance to try again).
In a month or so I'll start stocking up the freezer (MummyNaomi - I love your friends idea of the mummy blessing to help stock the freezer!)
Thanks again for all the tips. They are extremely helpful!
All the suggestions given are great. I try and make sure I give DD1 time with me on her own atleast once a week. I also thought I prepared her well for DD2 but I forget to discuss the fact I was going to be in hospital for a night or two which she didn't like. Good luck.
I found having a "safe" place that my baby could lie on playmat/play/ sit in rocker etc a life saver. My DS1 would have killed DS2 with kindness without it. I have a gated/fenced off area attached to my living room but a playpen would have worked as well. It allowed and still allows me to go to the toilet etc without worrying what DS1 is doing to DS2
Great idea Amaunet! We have a portacot, might just have to set that up and use it when bub arrives.
Its easy peezy lemon squeazy going from one to two, if you get the first born/s on board helping you with little achiveable tasks (passing nappies/ fetching toys/giving them their own baby to wrap).....its when they feel the need to compete for your undivided attention that it gets harder some days.
Make your own rules, and keep them flexible. You'll be right :)
XX
Fantastic thread! I'm due in April when DS will be about 2&1/2 & I can't wait to see them together but do worry how chaotic it will be! Great advice from all you wonderful mums! It's made me even more excited & I can't wait!!!
Oops - sorry all - didn't mean to post this - was using my iPhone for BB for first time - bit unfamiliar. Mods please delete this if you can/want to :-)
I haven't found it easy at all. DD2 skipped the whole sleepy cruisey newborn thing, and has been a feisty screamer. But we're still going ok. The best things have been:
Freezer meals
Slow cooker/pressure cooker meals, starting dinner early.
Getting my DD1 used to games we can play while I'm feeding. We play shops, and animal races (she runs up and down like. Frog/zebra/kangaroo) and do puzzles on the couch.
I loved going from one to two kids. kinda cemented the whole 'family' feel for me ITMS...
things that i found useful were:
my sling. My DD2 was by most descriptions a non-sleeper. 2 x 40 minute naps a day from day 3 and up every few hours overnight for a long time. i remember trying to do a routine at one point, but realised that i was spending so much time in the bedroom putting her to sleep and missing out on so much with DD1. so, in the end, i just decided to feed on demand, wear her in a sling and simply enjoy my kids and try to relax all through it all and take away all expectations of what it meant to have a 'good' baby. I had a fun baby and a happy toddler! it was liberating!
I also dedicated the bottom of the pantry to toddler friendly and accessible snacks. and got a big ol' fruit bowl full of her fave fruits and popped it on a table that DD1 could access at will.
Before DD2 was born I also got DH really on board to take over the bed time rituals of bath, pj's and story. that way the pressure was off me to do it (as I would be busy with DD2 going to bed ITMS).
it can be a bit chaotic...but it's so worth it!
I prepare a lunch box for DD first thing in the morning most days. It has her sandwich, fruit, cheese, cucumber, tomato slices, dip, crackers etc and a water bottle in it ready to go in case I get stuck with the bub and she needs to eat. I also make extra of meals and freeze small portions for her for lunches or dinners on days that we might be running late, at least I have dinner for her that can be ready in a few mins if all goes pear shaped.
Double post
I struggled for the first 4-6 months. 2 high needs, low sleep requirement babies. A toddler who so wanted interaction from the baby, and got a reaction (cry) if she hit him.
Around 4 months, i thought 'nah, this is going to be ok', and then by 6 months i was starting to enjoy having 2. We are almost at 1 year now, and it is still hard work, i don't get much of a break, but it is awesome to see them playing together.
Freezer meals from visitors were awesome.
I needed a safe spot for baby so that i could pee without taking one of them with me.
Toddler-proof anything you have been putting off. Make it safe so you can feed baby, and toddler will be ok and not escaping or destroying important stuff.
Check out local parks etc that are fenced. I found it hard to feed baby if i was out, and the toddler wasn't contained.
Getting fresh air and sunlight is great for everybody!
I put baby on my back early (when i was at home) so i could do cooking etc.
Have some easy meals in the cupboard. Soup and toast is ok for dinner.
Do toddler activities at an adult sized table, if baby is on the move.
If it is a bad day, all jump in the bath. It makes everything better. bubbles, or ballons filled with food colouring + water (which you pop after awhile) can entertain toddler and baby. we learn colours, numbers, letters, songs etc in the bath.
Lots of great advice here! I definitely struggled the first four months or so, but it's getting easier now DS2 is starting to sleep a bit better.
Frozen meals are a must! I find too that if we stick to a meal plan on days when DS1 is in care I can cook a couple of dinners so on days when he's home and I know we'll be busy I don't have to worry about cooking dinner.
I bought a few new toys/activities I'd pull out when I was on the couch feeding the baby so DS1 had something exciting to entertain him. Although he doesn't necessarily watch more tv now he does watch it (or a DVD) during busy times so I know he's happy while I'm trying to get the baby to sleep.
Definitely toddler proof the house, even if you think you have look again! After changing the baby I've discovered DS1 standing in the sink washing the kitchen windows!
Some special time every day with your toddler. It's easy to suddenly think of them as the big one and get frustrated when they act like a normal two year old, but they're still little really so a little understanding goes a long way :) Having said that, definitely a safe space for the baby so you can pee etc in peace.
I hired a cleaner so the house was clean and tidy at least once a fortnight!
Most importantly, be kind to yourself. A Toddler and a newborn is hard work. Take advantage of any help offered, sleep and sanity is very important during this time!! But it will get easier! Good luck xx