What age did you/will you let your children get FB?
Do you let them use your account?
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What age did you/will you let your children get FB?
Do you let them use your account?
Wouldn't let them use my account.
Depending on behaviour and attitude of them, DDs won't be allowed that sort of thing until they are 15+...if I can help it when we get there. FB may not even be around... ;)
My eldest had to wait until his 13th birthday. My DD1 got it when she started high school, she was 12 and my DD2 has had it since DD1 had it. I used to let my DD2 play a game or 2 on my account but then she got her own.
Zazou????!!!!!!! :o I feel too discombobulated to answer your question!
me too! I thought it was a spammer :rofl::
Umm to be honest, it's not something I've really had to think about yet. DS1 thinks that the small handful of kids at school who have an account on FB are dumb - he just can't see the point in it. He will play the occasional game on my page though because he does like the games. At the school he is going to they have FB blocked and the only way to get internet access there is through the DET portal and he doesn't own anything else with an internet connection that will give him access outside of that network. But then he will be living with anyone he needs to speak to anyway LOL so it will be a non issue I think for a little while longer. For the other kids, I think when they have shown that they are mature enough to know exactly what having a FB account means, then they can have one I guess.
13-15. My BIL has had one since he was 9. I think that's way too young! Kids should at least have to wait until the arbitrary age that FB gives you to join, I don't like the idea of kids entering fake birthdays to use the site. BIL had permission from MIL to have it, he had a fake birthday (much older than he was) no pictures, no info, couldn't do anything really. I never saw the point until they get to high school.
If I could do it all over again, my kids wouldn't get Facebook until they were at least 16. My eldest kids have it. Ds1 has one and he got it when he was 13 or 14, but he is 18 now so I obviously don't keep an eye on his anymore. My DD1 has a FB and got it at 13. I have the password and monitor her use of it because she's already had a few older men try to add her - men who were unknown to us and some from other countries.
She is only allowed to add family, friends from previous schools and close friends from her current school. I will not allow her to be the kid that adds 5000 random people just to get their friend numbers up. She has family photos etc on there that we don't want seen by just anyone. I also check her security all the time to make sure it is very private.
High school. I'll also be monitoring it til they are much older as well. DD1 wanted an account about 2 years ago when some of her friends got accounts (they were 7!!!!!) and we refused. But now she doesn't really want one any more so no issues there. thank goodness.
I told my oldest two boys when they asked for one (then aged 14 and 12) that they needed to write me a proposal outlining why they wanted a FB account and what they saw as their responsibilities should they get one.
That was too much hard work so I managed to put it off for another 6 months at cause they are lazy buggars :p
Master C was the first to crack and wrote up his proposal which we then added rules to, to make it into a contract. Rules such as, had to be friends with parents, parents have passwords, only one account to be had - stops having the secret naughty one that Mum and Dad wouldnt like, no adding random people, be mindful of what you are posting, comments etc.
Master K has since done his too with the same rules. We did have a few issues with not logging out properly at friends houses so been hacked which resulted in losing access for a week. I dont appreciate having how much my son loves penis plastered all over my news feed as im sure his grandmother doesnt either :shakehead:
All in all I dont have a problem with it except for the amount of time they are consumed by it (I have been known to lose a fair bit of time to it myself though) but it is also a fantastic bribing and blackmail tool. Nothing gets a teenager out of bed faster than threatening to take unflattering morning photos and tagging him in them :clap:
Not until they are like 16 or something. I don't see the need for it. And I see what my young cousins get up to on there. No thanks! Not happening!
My oldest isn't quite 5 yet so it's not something I've had to think about. I'd rather not until they are old enough to use the it responsibly, have an understanding of the dangers of it etc. maybe 30? Obviously time changes things though ;)
I'll be waiting till high school too. 13yrs at least, preferably older. We'll see when the time comes I guess.
Probably 13 - with supervision.
I know someone who has made an account each for her 4 and 2 year old :o
I don't know. Not until they are responsible enough to understand it properly. Just being their friends on there doesn't help you keep an eye on their account, you'd have to have their login. There's too many ways to hide stuff on your feeds, like lists and private groups. It's in the too hard basket for me... will think about it when they reach teenage years I guess! I don't think we're the types to ban it tho, we're all for educating our kids how to use the internet and do it safely.
I know someone who checks their son's phone bills and asks about numbers they don't recognise. I said to them 'you do realise that most people text each other over IM apps, so the phone bill isn't a reliable way of seeing who they're texting'. She obviously hadn't thought of that, and looked a bit freaked out!
Prob 13 unless things change depends on their level of understanding and what they want it for - they have their own accounts now at 3.5 and 16 months but they are just our way of keeping in touch with overseas relations - they don't use them and it stops my feed being overloaded with kids stuff and also helps with privacy as theirs are more locked down than mine.
They also form like a journal/memories book which are interesting for me to look back on and for them to read in future.
I suspect as they get older they will use them prior to 13 as a way of interacting with grandparents etc. but currently envisage 'handover' at around 13 mainly because that is FB policy. I remember being really into pen pals and I can see them using FB to interact with friends cousins etc elsewhere in the world.
I would rather let them have it earlier and talk about it with them and monitor than ban until they get to 16 or 18. There are so many other things, chat rooms, messenger services, multi player online gaming and no doubt new things too I would rather they discover all these things with me rather than later when my influence will have waned. In my experience the more technologically aware the more likely people are of privacy issues and is more often people who are new to things who struggle with privacy concepts.
I suppose I don't see the online world as any more dangerous than the real world and by earlier than 13 I will be letting them do things on their own - so just as will teach them how to behave and be safe in real world will do same for online world.
You're so right Wsiwyg. I have a friend whose daughter isn't allowed fb but she's allowed to use Instagram and KIK. We've had many issues with DD1 using KIk that I've actually banned it.
After high school and not a second before. And they already know and are ok with it.
I know people who have been fired for their facebook/twitter accounts. Screen dumps that were saved even after stuff that could cause problems was deleted. I don't want to compromise my children's school lives by opening them up to bullying. Part of my job in IT training is to teach internet safety and social networking safety.
I don't believe children should have facebook. And I think more schools should be teaching about texting/messaging/social media and the dangers of bullying and how to stop yourself from being a target. Let alone stranger danger and how it could impact your future careers.
Being a member here is a perfect example. If you've ever seen screen dumps, or security breaches as we've seen here before why would teenagers be any better? Scary to think what they would be like given what adults are capable of. It's not the same as when we were kids, so someone would write about you on the toilet wall. You get a marker and it's gone. The internet is forever and this is why it is VERY different. People forget that, and are sucked into a false sense of security.
Do they not ask if your 18 or older?
I'm thinking 16+ for my kids. So that's like 10-12 years away.
Tech will probably be into other stuff by then.
Totally agree with you Rouge. The bullying things really worries me. There is just no escaping it for the poor kids these days :(
Each to their own - but the writing on wall analogy confuses me as not having a FB account doesn't stop others from writing about you online?
My DD got hers when she was 14, but I supervise it pretty carefully. This means I have her login details, I periodically check her privacy settings, and have been known to do unannounced spot checks. She's a pretty sensible kid though, and we talk about the risks etc. however, we have also taken the precaution of using an alias.
@lisa, it sounds like your dd could tighten up her privacy settings. There's one in there re who can request to friend you.
ETA - re bullying, it can happen on any platform, including mobile phones, SMSing, email, anything. IMO it's better to teach our kids how to respond to something they will need to deal with as young adults anyway.
No it doesn't stop it. But like DD and I talk about all the time. People are going to talk about you. It's what they do. But you don't have to fuel it or add to it.
And yes I did say it can happen on any platform which is why we've discussed phone safety. I'm sorry if I've given the impression I'm a head in the sand kind of person about this. Actually quite the opposite. And we talk about how to "use these things" all the time. She is fully aware.
And it's not just the bullying. I've seen people comment on photos of aborted babies and as a result it's come up in my feed. Or the comments about girls who have commuted suicide and trolls saying things like "good riddance" and worse. I know grown women who can't help themselves when they see stuff like this and get involved. Why would a teenager be any different? And as for privacy she and I actually have an agreement about photos of her, comments about her etc. I will not post or say anything without her permission. And she gets very offended on behalf of other kids who's parents don't show them the same courtesy.
So yes each to their own. But please don't infer that I am turning a blind eye to this or anything else because I don't see I it as a necessity in my child's life. Because that is highly inaccurate. She knows more about how social media works than some adults. Just because she doesn't use it doesn't mean she's ignorant.
The friend requests were when she first joined up and we had it set to Friends of Friends and some of her sillier friends were adding random people who would then try to add my daughter.:
Actually, just yesterday I was reminded to change her settings for who can message her as a boy she doesn't like from school has been messaging her trying to get her to add him.
No inference intended - I just thought a strange analogy. I certainly didn't think your comments meant you were a head in the sand or turning a blind eye - more the opposite if anything - I am sure being a mod on this site can highlight some of the more unpleasant/difficult aspects of the online world.:
Ahhh ok. What I meant was when I was at school there would be nasty things written on walls. Then it would be covered over and after a few weeks people would forget that "Susie is frigid" and move on. These days it's more than that its nastier it's more permanent because even if you delete it there are screen shots. I read an interesting article on school yard cyber bullying and do you know what was the scariest part? It's often friends that turn on friends who are the worst.
I asked DD how she would feel if in high school people use Facebook to communicate party dates and share photos etc. how will you deal with that? She said if people want me to know they'll tell me. If not then I probably don't want to know anyway. She also reminded me that in our circle that half of the kids parents feel equally and they don't have any problems socialising.
As for messaging. I personally prefer monitored outsourced apps because you can block content and apps. You can't block iMessages to an iDevice if your apple ID is known by others.
But at the end of the day the best way to keep your kids safe is to have an open relationship and good communication. And that needs to begin when they are little so it grows into something beautiful by the time they need you the most.