How did you decide on the number of kids you have?

Not sure if this is the right spot so feel free to move....

For those who have been fortunate enough to actually be able to make the decision (as opposed to circumstances dictating it), how did you decide when to stop having babies?

I have 2 kids and part of me would love more, but part of me thinks I could never do pregnancy and breastfeeding again, not to mention the toll on my body (and the lack of sleep!).

Do you think you ever feel 'finished'? Do you still see newborns and tiny clothes and wish for another one?

Did you go back for another and regret it (although I'm sure you totally love them - you know what I mean)?

Did you stop and wish you'd had that extra one?

Trying to decide whether to get rid of the baby things....

When I had DS2 last year I desperately wanted a third for aaaages. DH was happy with two as we had previously agreed. Then maybe 4 months later I was holding a friends newborn and realised that I didn't have that yearning, as beautiful as she was I didn't want one, this was a first for me as I'm always the clucky one! I still feel the same now and my baby has just turned one. DH was always set on two children so don't know what we would've done if I hadn't changed my mind.

I have always wanted a heap of kids. I remember once my mums next door neighbour said "I could picture Kathryn with a soccer team of boys" I stopped after the 2nd boy because I had a rough birth and I didn't want to do it again. I then fell pregnant. So I stopped after our 3rd boy due to financial reasons, and now that he is 6 I could never go through the baby stage again as much as I love that newborn cry LOL.

We agreed on two pre-marriage. DH never budged from that number. After DS I was tossing up the idea of whether to have 2 or 3. Then we started to TTC DD. It was just too emotionally draining and we weren't even LTTTC (It took 7 months). I settled on just 2. We are perfectly happy with that decision. DH had the snip when DD was about 4mo. I can honestly say, I don't feel the slightest bit clucky. I spent Friday afternoon in the company of three little newbies. The eldest was about 3mo. I couldn't bring myself to do anything more than look at the littlest ones. I held the 3mo for a few minutes & just felt so awkward, like I was going to break her lol! I've been getting rid of the baby things as soon as DD outgrows them. I have a big box of stuff to either sell or giveaway in the new year as well as several nappy boxes full of clothes DD has outgrown. I've already got rid of all the 0000's, 000's & 00's, the bumbo, jolly jumper and various other baby things. I don't regret it in the slightest. As much as I love my bub's, I've never particularly been maternal in that way. Babies just aren't really my thing ITMS.

Now that I have my third I feel incredibly content and done. After my second I thought I never wanted another child, but it was a different feeling to what I have now. That feeling was more a "oh please don't make me go through that again", whereas now its that I can't imagine my family any way other than how it is ITMS.

I always wanted five. I'm from a family of four.

I left my XH when our second was 12 months old. So circumstances dictated how many children I have.

Would I have more? It would take a pretty special man to make me have more. There is at least one man out there that I would have more babies with, in the right circumstances. Otherwise, no.

My body made the decision for me. I always had 3 kids in my mind for some reason. But I'm not very good at being pregnant. Hyperemius Gravadarium and then high blood pressure / pre-eclampsia meant my pregnancies are pretty horrible. I couldn't do that again.

I also think having two so close together (18 months difference) has changed my mind. My youngest is now 18 months and I can't see myself caring for a baby again. I found having two babies very, very challenging. I see my boys playing together now and I know that I'm done.

I always wanted 3, Dh always said 2. The circumstances surrounding #2's entrance to the world were hard on me and i questioned if i could ever do that again, but there was something missing and and knew i wanted to have another one.
We now have no embryos left in storage and this seemed to put an end to TTC for us. I still wish for another one, however DH has fully and completely moved on from that stage and it would be a huge hurdle in our relationship if i were to insist on TTC again.

It's a slow process for me. I haven't yet lost the feeling of wanting more children. I don't believe you ever regret the ones you have - just the ones you don't.

XDH and I decided we would have 4, but then I miscarried #4. Things went bad and it all ended in divorce. I was content with 3. I then met my DF and knew I'd never have anymore kids due to male infertility. That obviously isn't the case as we are expecting our first, even if it's not bio his. He has said there's a want for more, but I'm feeling good with the idea of my 4th being my last baby

I always wanted heaps of kids after coming fRom a large family myself.
After two close in age, the second with special needs I swore off anymore kids.
Then met hubby and he wanted one of his own... so I gave in and did it for him. He was an amazing help compared to my ex and combined with an easy baby I was set on having more again lol hubby was happy with what we had.
So we decided after many discussions to have one more. Turns out someone had other plans and the twins make 2 more.
I imagine I will feel very done after these bubs

I always wanted more than one and after my second was born I was happy to just have the two of them. They weren't good sleepers and I didn't want to extend my years of non-sleep. We decided to have a third when that second line appeared. But she has fit in beautifully and I wouldn't have it any other way.

I really don't think I have it in me to do the baby thing again and three kids is very busy. I am looking forward to the next stage now and the things you can do with bigger children.

I always wanted 4 and now have 3. I'm not sure if I'll have a 4th due to finances and the fact I dont get pregnant easily, DH isn't as helpful as I wish he was, family circumstances (my sister lost her little boy and I know it would hurt her terrible for me to have another baby) and the fact I'm of to uni again got another 18months and have a new job. I just don't know. I don't have the finished feeling although no great desire to get pregnant just now (although it can hurt when others do) unfortunately my fertility issues get worse with age so time probably isn't on my side. I'm undecided a BFP would bring us a lot of joy but I don't have that desperate desire like I have in the past. After my last birth I also am scared to do it again but not so much I wouldn't. I also am isolated from the hospital as I'm on s property and that scares me if something went wrong I'm an hr away

I always wanted more than one, I thought we would have 2 or 3. After my second was born I felt like that was enough for me (and luckily DH felt the same). I thought I would get clucky again but I can honestly say that I haven't (even though I've had two nieces arrive since DS and lots of friends have had babies too). Now I can't imagine going back to the baby stage! We are really enjoying having slightly bigger kids and I don't feel any desire to mix that up with a pregnancy and another newborn. I think you just 'know' when you are done and if you have any doubts then you probably aren't done!!

When I was pregnant with my first, we went on a holiday and were talking about 'how many kids do you think we'll have?' I was saying 2 as DH was saying 3. How come we never had this conversation earlier??? I couldn't fathom having 3 kids. I was working full time still and felt that 3 kids would just take forever. Anyway, when I was pregnant with DS2 (they're 18 months apart) I just knew that it wasn't my last pregnancy. I was even talking about having a third while I was still pregnant with number 2. Now that we've got 3, I feel like our little family is complete. I'm giving away some baby stuff to my SIL who is having her first. Part of me questioned whether we could keep going and both DH and I said no, that's enough for us. I just feel like i'm going to be stuck in playgroup for the next 10 years if we kept having more kids. All of my mum's group have finished and most have returned to work, so I'm feeling a little left behind, still stuck in the night wakening and settling and breastfeeding etc. I wouldn't change it for the world though and the boys just love their baby sister. It's so lovely watching them all interact and get excited when she smiles or giggles at them. I'm guess I'm lucky that my DH is really supportive and an awesome, hands on dad. I would have been really sad if he wanted to stop at 2.

I went from never wanting any, do changing my mind when I was 31. When we decided to ttc, we agreed to two. After DD1 I really felt like another (despite the birth and how hard she was), so did DH, in fact he wanted heaps. Took a bit to concieve DD2, in fact we almost stopped as I was hitting my self imposed age limit.

When pregnant with DD2 I was feeling fairly complete. There were only a couple of times we toyed with the idea of a 3rd, same when DD2 was about 8 months. That died pretty quickly. I just do not feel clucky, I have no desire to hold other babies, I am just so glad to be out of the baby toddler stage. DH has had the snip. We do not even want to contemplate having another!

I'm pregnant with #2. DH has always been quite firm in wanting two. I'd probably say I'm 75% sure I would be ok with stopping at two. But I reserve judgement til this ones born! Like many BB Mums, I'm an IVF mum so having to pay so much emotionally and financially for your kids is also a big factor. Having said that, we still have four frozen embryos and so that needs to be considered too.

DH and I always said we would only have the one. DS is now 5 and at school. About a year ago I started thinking about the what ifs, and should we? But really we feel very happy and lucky with just our son and our family of three (plus the dog :) ) and won't be having any more.

Thanks so much for sharing your stories. Although, I can't say I'm any closer to a decision! :s

Heart says yes but the head says "run for the hills"!!

I have always only wanted 2, DP has said the same. I am the oldest of 5, its turned me off wanting a large family lol. But then we were talking tonight about when we have #2, and DP mentions he now will likely want a 3rd!!!!!!! Mind, is, BLOWN! Not sure I can do 3 lol. Its tempting to just stay with 1 honestly, things have been such a rough ride with huge sleep issues, but things are finally starting to get easier and routines are slowly falling into place I dont want to throw it all out of whack lol. But I dont feel complete, I definitely want a 2nd. But a 3rd?!!! Hahahaha its really spun me out. Its good the ball is in my court though lol

I'm pg with #2 right now. I don't know if I'm done yet! A part of me feels sad when I think that this could be the last time I get to experience this. Actually, a lot of me feels sad when I think about that!

DP always said no children, ever. I set a mental deadline of 12 months to call it a day if he didn't change his mind. I wanted children. I needed children, and if he couldn't give me that then I wasn't going to be unhappy for the rest of my life. 4 months into my deadline, he suddenly changed his mind (without any badgering! what a surprise that was.) When DS was born, it was awfully traumatic, and we both said never ever again. He was a challenging baby, very restless and just difficult in general to learn to be a parent with such a tenacious little guy. We decided that we weren't going to let our first experience with birth rob us of another child, or DS the joy of a sibling. So here we are pg with #2.

DP again says no more, 2 is it. We'll see.... haha. I still like to play with the 'full sedan' rule. A third wouldn't mean needing a new car. So is feasible, right? lol

I was always wanted three, and we had DS3 in August. Admittedly, I look at DS3 now (he's in that chubby, gorgeous and chirpy stage of infancy) and definitely have pangs of "I'll never have another sweet little baby again", but realistically I know three is our limit - financially as well as emotionally, as some days having three kids aged 4 and under is damn hard. And while I sometimes think "a little girl would be lovely" I'm content and honestly feel blessed to have my three healthy, happy boys.

I've always wanted lots of kids. When I was in my early 20s I always wanted 4. By the time we started trying I was liking the idea of 3. DH is dead set on 2. I have times when I contemplate trying to convince him for a 3rd once bubs is born, but other times I kinda like the idea of this being the last (probably because this pregnancy has had it's fair share of dramas). Not sure how I'll feel once bubs actually arrives...... I really would like to have another attempt at a boy....not that I'm unhappy with just girls, and DH is fine with it, but a part of me would really like to see him with a son....

Both DP and I both said we wanted two children from our first date. After we had DD1 I was completely in love with her and motherhood and wasn't sure I wanted to stop after two. But we had issues in our relationship and then it took me 12 mths to convince him to TTC #2.

DD2's birth and introduction into our family was so perfect and we've loved her babyhood so much that I def want one more. DP says no, so I'll have to start talking him into it in a couple of years. ;)

Dh and I always said just 2. he getting snip after next healthy baby arrives.

DH and I always wanted 2, we had our two boys and we both felt our family was complete. We decided to sell all of the baby items we had left because we wouldn't be needing them again ( our family was complete) then much to our delight not 5 weeks after we sold the last of our things we got the biggest yet most amazing surprise of our lives..... i was pregnant! I gave birth to our third little boy and life couldnt be better, i instantly felt complete. DH has since had the snip so there will be no more bubba's for us