When to buy her first bra???

DD is almost 11 and is starting to develop breasts. She is a little way off needing a bra, but, to be honest, I am not really sure when she should get her first one.

Is there a specific size or stage in development that I should be guided by? Or should I just wait until it "looks" like she needs one????

TIA :)

Generally it's when they start to be noticeable through shirts. DD wears those tankini things to cover up. But I daresay she'll need a training bra within the next few months. Nothing more embarrassing than having those cones happening and no bra.

My daughter is 11, she has been wearing those tankini tops underneath clothes for a few months. They have a built in crop which gives the fabric a few layers. She has some cotton crop tops as well, but she is not ready for them (her words). She doesn't like that you can see the crop top, she likes the tankini as it goes all the way down not drawing attention to it. Big W have a great section in the bonds wear with all sorts of options I would take her there and talk about it together. I didn't want to bring too much awareness to it all before she was ready, so I just said things like, let's just buy them and put them in the cupboard for when you are 'ready' it was great for opening up the conversation, as she was not even aware that I could see through her shirts or dresses so I didn't want to make her too self conscious.

Yup my daughter is at the same age (11 in April) and I have been buying her bonds sets of undies and crop top type of things (has straps over top rather than just fabric). They come in white and mixed cool colours. She has taken to wearing them a great deal which is great, but wont be long for her needing something more I am sure. This last year she's really developed. I think I was in year 5-6 when I got my first training bra. She's in year 5 this year.

My mum bought me training bras for Christmas when I was about 12 or 13. I was horrified when I opened them in front of everyone.

So don't do that lol

Oh dear!!! You poor thing!!!! I'd never do that! I leave the clothes I buy her on her bed.

I hated that my personal development seemed to be a conversation point with grown ups. One of the first thing I said to mum when I got my period was don't tell grandma!

I bought DSD crop tops a few months ago because I noticed she was startif to develop and I didn't want it to become a big deal. She wears them most of the time at our place now. I didn't want bras to become a big deal. My mum waited until I was 13 and needed them and I hated going to the shop to buy my first bra. It was so embarrassing. I wanted dsd to get used to the idea slowly. Plus under some of her tops she show more than others and the extra layer really helps to smooth things over. At her age she will probably think its pretty cool and that's a nice moment to share. The you can just change the tops. Look more bra like and change to a bra certaimwhen it's needed without it becoming a big deal.

I know it's my issue and worry which has made me behave that way. But hopefully she feels okay about herself and her body. I know she hasnt asked her mother to buy her any yet, although we have suggested it. Her mother obviously hasn't noticed or suggested it. Certain materials they make some clothes with these days really seem to cling and make it more noticeable.

My 10yo DD has been wearing the bonds crop tops for a while. She doesn't need an actual bra at this point, but just something to give her a bit of cover and stop the chaffing from her shirts. They are pretty sensitive and get sore. She was just wearing singlets, some with a shelf thing and others didn't but it just got too hot towards the end of the last year for her to wear them

My DD was just shy of 12 when I took her in for a bra fitting. Before that she wore crop tops. You will know when she's ready to move on from a crop top to a bra.

Can totally understand that Efjay. I bet that would have been embarassing :( I try not to talk about her in front of others at all anyway, because she is particularly upset by anything that puts her in the spotlight - she was diagnosed with Selective Mutism at around 3, which is a social phobia, so it really makes her anxious. Shes grown out of most of it now as they do about this age, but I can see she's still very sensitive with it.

Thanks everyone. I bought her some crop tops last year to stop chafing. I may suggest (gently) that she might like to wear them more often.

At the moment her nipples (inc areola) are more prominent than actual breast tissue. It is noticeable when wearing a t-shirt. I guess a training bra may be on the cards before year's end.

I can remember being mortified being taken to Myer to be fitted for my first bra. It was an issue for family discussion too :( I can remember someone saying "they are not pimples on a pumpkin anymore" :o I will definitely be more discreet and sensitive.


My baby is growing up :(

All I remember *I think* was relatives being told I was all grown up now and had a bra. Maybe they were proud of me but damn I was so embarrassed! Shame it doesnt stay something private with younger girls these days!!!

I remember sitting around a family friends table and the women mum was talking to was saying she could tell by my eyes ( iridology) that I would get my period soon. I was ten! I didn't get them till I was 14!


One would think that our mothers would have also experienced the same embarrassing times and would have known not to do it to us!

I am very well endowed and I started really developing in grade 5 when I was 10. I was so self conscious about my boobs for years. I wouldn't take my baggy windcheater off no matter how stinking hot it was because I thought it hid my bumps. I was sweating like a pig but at least my boobs didn't show as much :lol:

It wasn't until the end of year 8 that I would go jumper-less.

Now I just let 'em flop out all over the place ;)

*cringe* *cringe* *cringe*!!! (Efjay!)

It's different these days, rolls have changed. I had to buy my own training bra and everything personal growing up with money I had earned. My Mum never talked about or discussed at all.

Fast forward to now, my brother is the SAHD while his wife works shifts. He takes his daughters to get pads, tampons and took her to get her first training bras just the other week. She has just turned 12.

The younger of his girls wear the crop tops while his older have just started on the training bras, it could be a good bonding experience for you to make a day of it. Go out, get fitted for a training bra, lunch, movies and maybe even get your nails done together. The more you make it a normal part of growing up the easier it may be (hopefully) for your DD not too mortified by it all :lol:

I know I don't have to worry about it anytime soon, well hopefully anyways, but what is a "training bra"???

A training bra usually does up at the front rather than back are smaller in cup size than AA.

I was 11 when I got my first bra but I also got my period at 11. By the time I finished primary school I was in a C cup so bras were a must for me. I developed very quickly and young which was a spin out because I was the shortest and skinniest in my class!

DD is one of the skinniest in her class too JB. I wouldn't be surprised if she gets her period pretty soon though because she is moody as all get out lately and she is getting a few pimples.

Eta - I like the idea of making a day of it H! Thanks for the suggestion :)

My mum got my brother's girlfriend to buy my first bras - totally embarrassing!

Grade 6 I was wearing a training bra. My mum was very matter of a fact about it. I remember wearing a white t-shirt and my mum said you have to wear a bra because it was a little see through. I was still embarrassed and fairly sure nobody else was wearing bras plus the fact I went to a catholic school, that sort of thing wasnt really discussed.

I love the idea of making a day of it. I'll have to keep that one in my memory bank

I'm the sil who bought the first training bras. Being a Tom boy exs sister was in denial & looked up to me. It worked & she started wearing them.
Dd. 1 is 11 in April also & wears crop tops to stop the rubbing. She wears them religiously, so should be easy when needing a bra.

Rhichichi - I think I might have been the first in my catholic year 6 class. It was the girl who developed way before anyone else who came up & asked me in shock if I was wearing one. I didn't even think they'd notice!

I can remember changing schools in year 7 and overheard some girls say, 'Ooooh she's got some!' As if it were a status thing lol.

Highly recommend the book 'Puberty Girl' too - bought it for my daughter and she is excited about becoming a woman, loved the book. There is 'Puberty Boy' as well.

My DD has been wearing them for a few months now (she's 11 in feb) my plan was a MYER fitting however, the lack of service sent us to target where the lady in the change rooms was more than happy to fit her. We didn't need her measured as I figured what size she would need & just got the lady to double check her. Good luck finding a bra that's not heavily padded too!!! We had to scramble through the 'granny' section. Very bottom row, hidden from eye view. She's currently wearing a 10 AA.

Sometimes I want to hide her from the world. Physically shoes looking mature but tome a baby!

i remember seeing "bras" for little girls (no shape, no wiring) when looking for undies for bilby when she was a toddler, not croptops, not a singlet with a bra-shelf, an actual bra with triangle shapes. Just in cotton. So they were being made in tiny sizes.

So unlike when i was young, and literally when from singlets to training bra (at 15, hand me downs from my cousin, embarrassment plus), today's young girls probably will be seeing helper bra type undies, from a very young age.

Plus there is so much "outerwear" that is just like a singlet, with spaghetti straps and a shelf bra built in - very popular with young girls (i mean teenagers).

i look at my dd6's primary school and the year 4/5/6/7 girls, so many of them look like they're in real bras already. Many are taller and bigger than me (i'm short, but not small).

Taking until 15 to even need a trainer bra, was pretty embarrassing. And the teasing that happened, once i DID have a trainer! the twanging of the strap by the boys, mortifying.

i will make it much nicer for my own DD.

Reading this thread just made me remember that i didnt have training bras etc. I remember my mum putting the pressure on about wearing singlets all the time and now i realise why. Wish she had been a bit more upfront about it tbh.

I remember cringing reading the embarrassing stories when this thread began last year, and reading it again, I still cringe! The things our family do to us!

I know what you mean Kelly, the whole bra, period, adult critique development thing was so traumatic for me.
My mum handled it so badly.
I am so happy I had a boy. Lol
I am sure it's not without it's own set of issues, but man, boobs and periods are such a minefield.

Oh my. I had the opposite problem. I repeatedly badgered mum for a bra, after I started getting hassled at school about my 'boobs'. I was 11. In the end, my sister gave me her training bras and showed me how to put it on.

When I got my period 6 months later, I asked my sister for advice. She gave me tampons and explained what to do.

Ok so just realizing my sister is awesome sometimes... lol

Livinthedream - If its not too traumatic for you to re-live, do you have any 'what not to do' tips?! I'm feeling bad for you already and I haven't even heard your story yet!!!

Interesting forshelby! Maybe she didn't have the confidence to tackle it? Was she stand-offish with all those sorts of issues? I'm going to have to put together a 'how to' document on BellyBelly, LOL!

My friends & I all have girls just getting their period now. We do discuss it :/ (by discuss, we mention weather or not it's happened & if there are issues or advice needed). My dd is the only one we're waiting on... lol.

Never in front of them though...