We made 2 years but...

I'm currently BF my two year old DD and my 7mth old DS. But lately DDs frequent feeding is driving me crazy I have really sensitive nipples at the moment (I did a pregnancy test but negative as this what happened last time) I've had one proper period since when DS was 5mths so could be due to have another one but its been a few weeks now with these symptoms just increased in the last week however.

Anyways as much as I'm happy to continue to feed DD her frequency of feeds is wearing me down, she feeds at least 6times a day and that is tha absolute minimum. She's had 8feeds already today and when I'm sitting she will want to rest her hand on my boob which also drives me nuts! During the afternoon she will want to feed every 5-10mins and while redirection works sometimes or telling her no other times she will have a major tantrum and or take it out on DS (she feeds more than him). And so i find i cant sit if i dont want her to feed but then she will follow me around saying booby booby booby...its cute but annoying also! So I don't even know what my question is because don't even know if there is a solution and whether its just my problem rather than hers. But the feelings I get are like I just want to rip her off and throw her across the room it's horrid! (Note I wouldn't actually it's just a feeling) I had these feelings pretty strong when I was pregnant last time as well...

I had those feelings very strongly when pregnant. I pushed through and I know you did too when you were pregnant with DS, but still, BF aversion is horrible :hug: So you're 100% not pregnant?

Honestly, if it's affecting you like this, I'd be slowing cutting the feeds down. I don't know how exactly, but I night weaned DD at 12 months because I couldn't handle the constant waking for milk (that wasn't even there by that stage). Maybe you could try cutting a feed every few days? Or only having feeds at certain times, or at certain intervals? I don't know. It's tough.

You have doe an amazing job to bf your dd form2 years and to feed both for the duration that you have.

I am not sure what to do about your Dd, but I agree she doesn't need to feed more than yournDS and that would be wearing on you. Do ou think she is competing for your attention with DS?

I wonder if there is something else that is special that just the two of you can do and your DS doesn't?

Maybe you can get her a special baby doll to pretend to breast feed while you're breast feeding your DS and make a big deal about her being like mummy?

Sorry I am not much help.

Thanks girls its hard to just cut one PZ lol because one day she might have 20 the next day ten!

Alibi by she already feeds her dolls (she has five) then she brings them to me to feed!!! She brought me a lion the other day lol! I said I not feeding your lion! She will pull my top down before I have a chance to stop her!

I've done two pregnancy tests PZ one a week or so ago and one yesterday! And have had symptoms of Af like period pain on and off in those weeks too!d

Have you tried giving her other drinks instead? It sometimes works for my DD. She's a frequent feeder too & likes to use my nipples as a comforter. It drives me nuts as she pinches & it hurts. I push her hands away and say no. I do get a lot of tantrums over it too. I'm hoping she'll get over it soon but it's been going on awhile now. I think she is getting a bit better now. She is usually (but not always) happy to have a water bottle or milk in a sippy cup now when I say no during the day. She prefers boobie at nap/bed times though.

Ugh, that'd drive me absolutely bonkers too! I have few practical suggestions but went through a similar stage with DS at around 9 months where his comfort sucking (as opposed to his drinking sucking) really felt vile and made me want to pull him off and hurl him away from me (again, never acted on it but definitely understand the feeling), something someone said to me really stuck with me - there are two of you in this relationship and your comfort is just as important. It's okay to respectfully set some boundaries if you need to.

For me, that meant ending the feed as soon as DS stopped actively drinking and just cuddling him instead. He protested for a couple of days, but soon came to accept the new status quo. Could you maybe have a particular location/chair you feed in, or certain times of day that she knows she can have a feed so that when she asks it's less "no" and more "you can have booby after lunch/before bed/before your nap"?

:o I'm not alone?! We're not at 2 years yet, but my DD is the exact same!

Congratulations on giving her two years of breastmilk!
:hug: It sounds like she's needing a lot from you right now and it's great that you're able to meet her needs, but it must also be very hard on you at times. Do you get much time out for yourself?
Is there a time of day when you think you could stretch her with distractions, food, water, outings? It's a hard age, too, as they will get very angry at change. Sometimes, though, the boundaries are necessary and you just have to stand firm and wait out the screaming. I hope you can find a way to make it work for you. The way you feel about it is important too, of course.

I found i had to cut down my DDs feeds, if i was still going to be able to continue feeding and it still be a positive experience for both of us.

Although we never had set times or circumstances for feeds, when i wanted to make changes, i thought about when i would be ok with breastfeeding her. So, it was something like after breakfast, after lunch/before a nap, after dinner. If she asked for a drink, i could say "Yep, you can have a drink after lunch" or "after your bath"... I found this easier than saying no or trying to distract constantly. i did this during pregnancy, but it really helps these days too (when i am also feeding he brother). It makes it more clear for DD too.

oh, good idea! Yes, this also worked for us. DD wanted to feed all the time but I started doing the when you nap, bedtime, when it's light, after x, etc

Thanks girls. I have tried the after lunch thing and she goes into major tantrum mode and then won't eat lunch so I give in lol and then she usually wants another after lunch so she will have a nap! But yes guess I will have to be more firm about it. It's just also the added thing with toilet training when she doesn't get her way she will wee on the floor! Or she will hit DS so that's why I have given in so much.

She sounds like a very strong, determined little thing. good for her. hard work for you!

Congrats on two years bfing your DD!

Have you tried going with her to buy a special cup that's just for her and using that to get her a drink if you're trying to distract her?

I'm sure she'll get through it, but how awful for you to feel like that in the meantime. I know sometimes when DD1 wants to sit close to me or cuddle I'm just not wanting it and I feel bad for not giving her as much of me physically as she wants (she is six though, so it's not like I can't do other things!). I think DD2 being attached to me physically so much has maxxed out my touch-o-meter.

Do you have much help or support at home? Sounds like you could use a bit of time to yourself. :hug:

Thanks

Nope it's just me...DH gets home generally after 6pm so I do a lot on my own. Dd does go
To family day care twice a week for a few hours as I have no family close by to help me out but the carer has been away so I think that's why I've been extra overwhelmed by it recently.

She has quite a few cups already but they lose there novelty rather quick lol
I found myself giving in today as nothing I tried to do worked and was easier then listen to her cry and cry! We did go I the park however this morning we walked so that gave me a break but not always possible to do every day. Even when DH is home one day a week she will still come to me frequently for breastfeeds do it's going to be quite hard to cut them down.

Note when she gets home from family day care (and sometimes even before we leave) she will be at me for a BF. I send her with EBM in a sippy cup even and feed her a few times before she leaves. She goes from 10am-4pm and on those day she still has 6+ feeds a day! Haha I'm just imagining the major oversupply I'll have once she stops!

Another trick i used was to offer a feed first before DD asked. This meant i could do it when i was ready, and not in the middle of something, and by offering i could also set some rules. "let's have a quick drink, and then we will put the clothes away" (or have a dance, go outside, ....) I then felt more control over it (less 'used' maybe?), and DD also wasn't always the asker, so maybe she realised that we both had a say, but in a positive way rather than just me saying no. does that make sense at all?

Yep HotI it does and I do ask her at times but then thats just added on to her usual feeds...I suck!

Just want to offer my support and understanding. I'm breastfeeding 3 kids at the moment and it's my middle one that wants to breastfeed all the time. She's just turned 2 and feeds more than my baby, lol. My son only feeds once every few days now though. DD1 wants her mummamilk when she wakes from her sleep/nap, when she's going to bed/nap, as soon as I sit at the computer, when I sit on the couch, when she gets hurt, when she gets upset etc etc...

If it's getting close to bed/nap time I am often able to put off feeding her by telling her that she can have her mummamilk in her bedroom, then go to bed. Sometimes she gives up the idea of the milk, other times she runs to her room, lol. Other times distraction works, but a lot of the time I find it easier to just give in. I tend to have a side for each DD now, so if DD1 hops on her side too quickly since her last feed, then she just doesn't get much. She then pops off and exclaims "Finished mummamilk. Yay! Mummy make some more". Lol.

Mylitta: good on you! How did your eldest go with continuing to feed while you were pregnant with your last?
I tried the bedroom once and then when I went into her at night she expected me to feed when we had been night weaned for awhile. I'm feeding her now as I will after 4.30 and my 7mth old Is currently crawling around in bed!!

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Mylitta: good on you! How did your eldest go with continuing to feed while you were pregnant with your last?
I tried the bedroom once and then when I went into her at night she expected me to feed when we had been night weaned for awhile. I'm feeding her now as I will after 4.30 and my 7mth old Is currently crawling around in bed!!

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What a shame the bedroom trick didn't work. I'm really lucky that my older two are really good sleepers now. My son was shocking as a baby, and even DD1 fed every 2-3 hours at least over night until 12 months. Now they both sleep through the night consistently which is extremely helpful (and lucky!). Because of that I don't have to worry so much about DD1 wanting mummamilk if she wakes at night, because it's so infrequent.

When I was pregnant with DD2 I thought that DS would wean in honesty. I thought that the lack of milk towards the end would make it seem not worth the effort for him. But once again he just persisted through lol. I think his feeds are mostly for the comfort and snuggles with Mummy more than anything else. He gets the last go at the breast, so by the time he gets there both his sisters have pretty much drained them, so he doesn't get much. The look on his face is priceless if I get letdown again and he gets a good amount of milk. He gets rather excited about it haha.