Does anyone regret holding their child back a year?

So DD3 is 5 in march

so i had the choice of starting her in march where she will be in reception/prep for only 3 terms then head up to year one or holding her back a term and starting halfway through the year but meaning she wont go up to year 1 the following year and will still do a full year of prep/reception, as minimum is 3 terms maximum is 6 terms of prep. We chose option 2 so DD wont be starting school til term 3 and will do 6 full terms of prep/reception.


We chose this because DD is very clingy, emotional youngest child who still sometimes gets upset at day care drops offs but is slowly gaining confidence. the big factor for me to hold her back is I am due for a baby exactly when she would be starting full time school in term 2 if I send her so I worry that with new baby arriving and her emotional issues as well she may see it mummy sending her off cause the baby is here... I have talked to her about school and she couldnt care less if she goes or not, much prefer to stay home with mum (hence the huge worry of sending her right when new baby arrives) arghh just wish SA did the once a year entry starting this year rather then next because then she would be starting school in two weeks and the baby wouldnt be a issue.

but now with school starting soon I am beginning to doubt my decision. DD will be older then some of the kids in the grade above her plus SA has decided to come in line with all other states by doing the one entry a year so the first year she does a full year of reception the kids who will be in her class will be up to and just over a year younger then her. So this cause cause issues down the track, she will more then likely go through or start puberty before her friends, will get her drivers license before then etc but I am also worried about the teasing? whether they will give her a hard time because they assume she has been held back?
Do you think the age difference between her and her friends could be a huge issue?

My younger brother was born on 1 March and went to school at 5 turning 6 - 33 years ago. It was the best thing for him. Some of the kids in his class were up to 16 months younger than him, as the cut off at that time was 30 June. He is the third child - similar to your daughter, and just wasn't ready for school. If he had gone early, it potentially would have affected him academically and socially. As it was - he didn't learn to read properly until Grade 3 anyway.

My older brother was born on 30 April and started school at 5 turning 6 - 36 years ago. Again, it worked really well.

I'm a May baby and also was 5 turning six. My DS1 is a May baby - I could have applied for special early entry for him, due to his academic ability - but it would have been disastrous socially for him.

I don't think the new baby timing is something that can't be managed. If she prefers to stay home - do it!

My DS1 plays with kids older and younger than him at school, as does DS2. Kids find their own friends regardless of age discrepancy. My bestest girlfriend from school is over a year younger than me. Academically she struggled, but socially was fine. She would have been far better off staying home for that extra year, but her parents sent her anyway. Another girlfriend (March baby) did Year 6 twice, and says it was the best thing she did, academically and socially.

I think you have definitely made the right decision xx

Slightly different situation, but my birthday is in September which means I did 5 terms of reception. I always thought it was the best thing ever as I do feel that that first term (in your DDs case first two terms) helped me to settle in and learn the routines of school and then I was more than ready for the academic side by the following year (if not before). School was always easy for me and I loved it. I don't think your DD will be teased. By the time the other kids really notice she is older they won't care - she will just be one of their friends!

I think there will be others on the same situation so she won't be the only one that is older :)
I was sent early and lots of my very good friends at school were a year older than me!

Chody- my eldest two DD's are June and Sept babies and i really believe that extra term or two they got was a huge benefit to them. Which is why I believe 3 terms just can not be enough...

Divvy- some days she wants to go to school and some days she doesnt depends what mood she is in and when things change for her, she can get thrown for a 6 so thats why the babies timing is going to affect her alot. She had a melt down going back to day care/kindy after two weeks off for her surgery because her fav teacher wasnt there who is usually there... took me and the other teachers ages to calm her down

Thanks for the replies

My DD is now 11 and she did pre-school and then prep in QLD, which means she's a year older than most of the children in her grade. She's fine socially, but really struggles academically.

Kids develop and mature at really different rates. There are girls much younger than my DD who started wearing training bras last year, and some who look like they won't need them for some years to come :)

I know it's hard, but don't put too much on weight on worrying if she'll get picked on etc. It's really important that she gets a solid circle of friends around her by the time she reaches upper primary, and so if you think she needs a little extra time now to develop her social and emotional and other relational skills, then now is the time to do it. She'll make friends who'll be her allies and helpers and supporters and cheer squad all through school, and that's one of the "make your child bully-proof" strategies the experts are talking about these days. A child who is isolated socially can be a bigger, easier target unfortunately.

From a Mum who worried her way through a decision about whether or not to keep her DD back -- it was the best decision for my DD and I do not regret it at all.

All the best.

You have to look at each child individually and decide what is best at the time. This feels right for her so go with it. My dd1 is a feb baby and turned 5 at the start of her first year at school, some kids in her class are over a year older than her, some the year below her are older than her so there is a big spread. The older grades are composites at our school anyway so she always has kids older and younger than her in her classes.

Nope not at all. DD's bday is april. She would have coped going to school last year. But dh and I didn't want her to just cope, we want her to excel. Now being a year older and more mentally and emotionall mature, realise what a really great decision it was. Not just for now, but also for when she's older. I also wanted to give her that extra year free from responsibility, and to be a 'baby' a little longer.

DD2 will be 6 in the Feb of the year she starts prep!
She's about to turn 4 and is doing 3 yr old kinder this year

From a professional point of view... I think you have made a very wise decision, especially because of your DD's nature and because you have a new baby due at the same time.
I think it's always better to be that little bit older and be able to manage socially and emotionally and get a positive start to formal schooling. I think you are giving your DD a huge advantage :-)
If your still feeling unsure, perhaps talk to the school.

It's a tricky one but i think you may have made the right decision, that extra time with you at home could prove to help immensely especially if you feel she is still a little clingy.

I'm struggling to figure out what i'll do with DD also, i held my two boys back and i know it's been the best thing for them, i can see my evidence with both of them. DD is a confident little one who is really quite clever even still i thought i wanted to do as i did for the boys with her too. But speaking to a teacher friend she suggests not to in my particular case. This would mean DD would turn 5 in the Dec and begin Prep (Vic) the year later in Jan. Meaning she'll be more than likely one of the last ones to have a birthday in amongst the friends she makes. I'm not sure if what she is showing us now has a lot to do with her brothers being around and if things would change in her own space. I want her to be socially and emotionally strong, i wasnt and i want her experience to be different.

The challenge is trying to figure this out probably way before we need to be and with the ture signs maybe not showing as yet, but with waiting lists and times lines of when to enrol you have to be well organised.

Can i just sneak in a question too?? Olive would you say your DD who will begin at 6 is a confident little one or a little more on the quieter side?

I've held my eldest back, he is now 16 and it's the best thing I have ever did. He is much more mature than his friends.

cathie :)

I have never regretted holding Kameron back. It was on the kindy's (Veronica) advice at the time that he stay an extra 6mths in Kindy to do a full 18mths of reception. He is now 11 and moving into Year 5 (technically should be year 6). He is still really bad at spelling so I am glad we've got another 2 years of primary school to try and sort it out. At our school they graduate in year 6 and move to middle school (7,8,9) I would hate to think of him moving into middle school with his spelling like it is.

EJ DD certainly isn't quiet lol, socially she just wasn't ready 12 months ago as an almost 3 year old to start kinder, she defiantly ready now and don't regret holding her back at the age.
DD1 is 6 (nov 06 baby) and ha just completed prep, she is one of the younger ones age else but not maturity/social/academic wise, she has excelled. There were 3 kids tht turned 7 at the end of the year, when most were jousting turning 6, they don't look out of place.

Thanks Olive, DS1 is quite outgoing but i still feel it's been great for him to have that extra year at home, DS2 is a little more timid and is about to begin 3yr old kinder and will turn 4 in March and i definately feel that's worked out best for him but i'm just a little stuck with DD. Late last year i put in a form for her to go into 3yr old in 2015 but i'm now wondering if i should make it 2014, if i do and decide that she's not ready i could get her to do it again maybe!?

I hope we've helped you with your hesitations Beatrix, i didn't mean to hijack in any way :)

We held DS back. It has been the right decision for us. His teachers advised me to keep him back and as I trusted them,I did. But I always had my doubts. Seeing what other kids were doing confirmed it for me. He lacked interest this year at preschool and we took him to occupational therapy for his fine motor (he's left handed and its caused difficulty). I feel like while it was a really tough year having him home, he is better equipped for school.

Holding our daughter back was the best decision for her i believe, she is just about to turn 7 and is heading into first class this year, when she started kindy she was a few weeks off 6 and there was one boy in her class who was still 4 (he turned 5 a few weeks later, he struggled so much and he was pulled out 2 terms in).

My DD excelled last year, she was the top reader and one of the top few in the class, she doesn't like to not be able to do things so i think if she had of gone the year before things would have been hard for her and she would have given up trying but because she went when she was that bit older things were easier for her and she loved doing it because she was good at it

Our DS is turning 5 in march but we are also holding him back, he is a real mummies boy and doesn't want to go to school at all, hopefully the extra year at home really helps him too

I struggled with the same decision. Up here DD1 did 6 terms of preschool. During the first half of the second year I thought I'd made a huge mistake. She was bored and under stimulated.

Now she's going into year one and I couldn't be more pleased. As a little person she's been so much more well equipped within herself.

I should have said DD wasn't emotionally ready not socially, socially she's fine.

EJ I'd send your DD in 2014, you can always repeat kinder

That's what i'm thinking Olive :) As it was said earlier as part of someone elses reasoning, i want her (my boys also) to excell, i want her to be confident to be herself in all that she's presented with in life.

An extra year at home may be challenging for both parent and child but the benefits could be so worth it in the long run.

My sister faced this with my nephew who was born in Feb, difference being in NSW we do the once a year intake, so it was a matter of whether to hold him back an entire year or not.
She held him back, and honestly, it was the best thing she could have done. He really wasn't ready for school at 4 turning 5 and would have really struggled. When she sent him the following year, he has really shined, and is doing really well in school. From what my sister said, he hasn't had any problems with kids noticing he's that bit older as the cut off is the beginning of July.
On the flip side, my mother had this decision with my brother when he was starting school, (he's 34) back then the cut off age was different, and his birthday is the beginning of July. My mum sent him to school when he was 4.5, and he ended up struggling through most of his school life and needing constant tuition, as well as having to repeat a year, and she says she regrets not holding him back.

If you think it's best for her, then go with it, you know your children better than others :)

My Ds2 is starting school this year and will turn 6 a few days later. I do not, for one second regret holding him back. He definitely needed the extra year of maturity and social skills as he seemed so much younger than the kids that started last year. He is more than excited to be starting school now and is looking forward to it but last year he would have been like your LO, clingy etc as we still had teary moments at pre school.

From a teacher's perspective I think you have made a great decision for your child. You know your child best of all! Go with your first gut reaction.... I would choose the same option as you. My ds is going to be 5 years and 6 months before starting school due to new ruling, I'm really happy with that because I think a bit older is better than a bit younger iykwim? Goodluck with it all!Rach xx

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Holding our daughter back was the best decision for her i believe, she is just about to turn 7 and is heading into first class this year, when she started kindy she was a few weeks off 6 and there was one boy in her class who was still 4 (he turned 5 a few weeks later, he struggled so much and he was pulled out 2 terms in).

My DD excelled last year, she was the top reader and one of the top few in the class, she doesn't like to not be able to do things so i think if she had of gone the year before things would have been hard for her and she would have given up trying but because she went when she was that bit older things were easier for her and she loved doing it because she was good at it

Our DS is turning 5 in march but we are also holding him back, he is a real mummies boy and doesn't want to go to school at all, hopefully the extra year at home really helps him too

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Im so glad to see this thread. My DS will be 5 in March too and I have decided to hold him back, so another year of kindy but he only goes twice a week as I also work. I wasnt sure what to do so I thought Id hold him back. He doesnt even mention school. I did have him enrolled for school this year and last year he had his interview. He knew most things but not the alphabet, that didnt worry me, more like the not being interested in school kind of thing yet. I wonder if he will get totally bored at kindy this year. On the other hand was sad cos his bestie is starting school this year and they would have been in the same school/class so Im hoping he will make new mates in kindy this year! I have noticed though he has slightly matured on the school hols so I hope I dont regret things. But then like some of you have said Im hopeful the school work will be easier on him a year later. I also noticed last year the kids who had turned 5 towards the end of the year they seemed so much more advanced, e.g. had interest in learning activities, whereas my DS just wanted to play with toys, muck around..