WWYD, DH wants to get rid of our cat

So our cat is 10yrs old and is lives 100% in the house. He is pretty good at staying away from the kids but today he scratched DD in the eye area (this would be the 3rd time in 3yrs he has done this) and now DH is insisting that he needs to go as there is the chance that DD will lose an eye if he does it again.

The scratch didn't occur unprovoced (sp??) DD told me that she was pushing him on his back to laydown and was screaming at him that he was a scary monster. Unfortunately this happened just after dinner when I was cleaning up and she was in a different room with him.

He probably would spend about 90% of the day asleep on our bed or in another part of the house that the kids are blocked off from (via baby gates) so it is not as if he attacks the kids all day, every day. Now I know that he would fret if DH took him to the pound (he clings to me when he goes to the vet), so would only be comfortable going to another home where he could be inside and the centre of attention.

So apart from reinforcing to DD about leaving the cat alone (which we do numerous times a day) and trimming his claws so they are blunt, what else can I do as he only lashes out when he is retaliating to something being done to him that he doesn't like.

I told DH that if we get rid of the cat then there is no way we could get a dog as to me a dog has much more chance of biting or hurt either DD or DS's if they do something , but he seems to think a dog would be fine.

What would you do if you were in my position as when he has scratched DH always blames me for it happening so I'm made to feel bad as if I'm putting the cat over the kids safety, but I know the cat is only reacting once DD has really pushed him past his limits and yes I know the scratching is bad but how will DD learn not to hurt the cat without the cat hurting back.

I don't know if any of this makes sense, but hopefully you get what I'm trying to say.

Stand your ground. The cat is fine. I'm too tired to go more into detail.... but your DH doesn't have the right to make you feel as if it's your fault the cat scratched. Where was HE at the time it happened hmm?? How come it's not his fault?

:hug:

No way would I get rid of one my cats for the odd scratch and certainly would not be getting a dog instead. My girls carry on more about our dog scratching them, which happens almost daily when she jumps up in excitement.

It sounds like your DH doesnt know or love cats. Is he more of a dog person?

i agree with you completely, btw. It would break my heart to give my furbaby away. At 10 years old, being put in a pound or being rehomed would be incredibly distressing for him. Tbh, I wonder if it wouldnt be kinder to put him to sleep rather thsn do that to him.

Although I would love to get rid of one of our cats (she has many crimes against her going a long way back and both cats are 12yrs now) I never will. They are ours and its our duty to take care of them.

There are so many other ways that this issue could be dealt with. Talk to your kids, let them only play with the cats whilst you are supervising etc. But getting rid of a kid for a scratch which the cat probably didnt actually mean to hurt her, is not right.

At 10yrs of age if you put the cat up for adoption or pound it is more than likely going to be killed. Sorry but the kill rate with cats that are in those places is upwards of 80%, if not more. Most people will not adopt a cat, they only want kittens, and a 10yr old cat is very unlikely of having a happy future.

Thanks for your replies.

DD hurts her brothers she almost broke DS2 nose the other week and DS1 is a biter but he doesn't talk about rehoming them ;), so because the cat has done this 3 times in 3 years - which I think shows a very tolerant cat in my opinion - he needs to be rehomed.

Oh and it's my fault because he is my cat, I had him from a kitten and met DH when he was 1 so even though he has been part of my life for 10yrs and DH's for 9yr's the risk is too high. I'll just have to tell him that I will do a weekly ritual of clipping his claws and he has to help with teaching DD about being more gentle or to leave the cat alone.

Just an observation so don't shoot me....

When we were in Canada years ago many of the cats were declawed as they were inside all the time due to the weather. The people we were staying with said it was common and the cat was quite happy so not sure if it's a bad thing or not.

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Just an observation so don't shoot me....

When we were in Canada years ago many of the cats were declawed as they were inside all the time due to the weather. The people we were staying with said it was common and the cat was quite happy so not sure if it's a bad thing or not.

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I've read up on declawing and it seems to be very painful for the cats as the claw is actually attached to bone so basically they are breaking the bone to remove the claw, and for the sake of me keeping his claws clipped and teaching DD to be more gentle I wouldn't want to put him through that.

I have friends who clip their nails, they use a animal nail clipper and their cats never seem to even notice that they are been clipped. I know that you only cut to a particular point, like with humans, but their cats dont seem to mind it. Actually our boy was clipped when he had to have a visit with the vet for a few days. He went crazy on them, so when they knocked him out they clipped his claws so he was less likely to harm them when getting him out of the cage, which they were never able to do, they had to call us for that job.


edit, whoops I thought you meant clipping not declawing.. Declawing sounds harsh. Wonder if they meant clipping but called it declawing, cause that sounds like the equilavent to docking tails. imo

I have two cats that we got before having kids. They have scratched the kids a few times but nothing serious. I certainly wouldn't be getting rid of the cat, it teaches kids that they aren't toys - they will retaliate when they have had enough of toddler treatment.

My kids hurt each other more than the cats do but I'm not looking to rehome them ;)

The others have pretty much said it but please don't get rid of your cat. Pets should be members of the family and there are always other options than getting rid of them. As you said you wouldn't get rid of one of the kids!

I don't see how it's your fault though, just because it's your cat.

I think it's totally unreasonable to get rid of the cat (who has been in the household for much longer than the child) because it scratched when provoked. It's an animal and that's it's natural instinct to protect itself. It would be very unkind to try and rehome a cat of that age (or any age really), part of having pets is learning responsibility about caring for them well and treating them kindly which your DD will eventually learn.

Nope, I'm with you, I wouldn't get rid of the cat. Ok, the cat scratched her and it was unfortunate it was near her eye but it was just scratching after being pushed and wasn't deliberately thinking 'I'll scratch her eyes out, that will have the most impact' ROFL.

If it was a dog that bit your child or a cat that was going psycho and attacking them every day then yeah, get rid of it. But 3 scratches in 3 years is no big deal IMO. Every time we visit my Aunty my kids get cat scratches because they are annoying the cat, I assume they will learn soon, we still visit.

Nope, keep your cat. Kids have to learn to be nice to animals and having one at home is the best option. The kids will learn as they get older.

There's something that you can put on their claws, so that they're not so sharp. The resident cat at our old vet had them - hot pink, soft plastic covers that stayed on, as this cat used to sit on the reception desk and swipe at dogs and owners too. I'm sure you can choose a different colour. Much better option than de-clawing or getting rid of your pet of 10 years. Which would only teach your children than pets are dispensable when you get sick of them, rather than teaching them to treat them gently, with respect etc.

So your DD was pushing your cat down and screaming at it? And your cat only scratched her? I would say give the cat a medal.

Any animal (including humans) will only take so much antagonism before they will defend themselves. In all probability the cat was giving lots of warning signals before lashing out. Many cats would have bitten in that situation. Children need to be taught about pet safety and it is absolutely unfair to expect a cat or dog to just take whatever it is given by children. This is a very predictable outcome to the situation and can easily be managed by giving the cat areas it can go to get away from the kids, and by training the children what is and isn't appropriate behaviour around animals. And if you find your children just aren't old enough to know what is and isn't appropriate behaviour then to only allow access to the pets when supervised. Good luck with your DH!

It might be easier to re-home your DH than the cat especially if he doesn't bite and always uses the litter box.

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I think it's totally unreasonable to get rid of the cat (who has been in the household for much longer than the child) because it scratched when provoked. It's an animal and that's it's natural instinct to protect itself. It would be very unkind to try and rehome a cat of that age (or any age really), part of having pets is learning responsibility about caring for them well and treating them kindly which your DD will eventually learn.

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Yep that. I'd be telling your DH to take a Long walk off a short pier., and not to overreact to something so insignificant. It's a cat. Your Child needs to learn to be gentle if only for self preservation. It sounds like he just doesn't like the cat in general and this is as good excuse as any to get rid of it.

BTW - I've heard of lots of kids dying in dog attacks, when is the last time you heard the same of a cat attack.

ETA - sorry for typos, iPhone autocorrect. Gggrrr.

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It might be easier to re-home your DH than the cat especially if he doesn't bite and always uses the litter box.

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^^^^
my thoughts exactly.

we have cats who came into the picture after the kids
Vics been clawed alot. star takes it. elle, eh not so much but he's gotta learn that cats/dogs/chickens ect are animals and that they need to be treated "gental" not roughly. your DH needs a slap upside the head. she "may lose an eye" yep and he might get hit by a bus too -.-"

Um, how bad was the scratch?

Just a thought, but if your DH's not particularly fond of kitty anyway it (the scratching) may seem to be a little more sinister than it is....

What if you re-homed the kids and DH?

We will see how DH is when he gets home from work today but DD will say when asked that the cat scratched her but she will also tell you why the cat scratched her, so she knows it's because of her behaviour that it happened.

This morning when I asked how her scratch was, she told me "It's all better now mummy". I then discussed that because she hurt the cat and he scratched her daddy has said that the cat needs to go and live somewhere else and not be able to come back to our house, DD's response "No Mummy, Apollo (that's the cat) is our cat and he has to stay at our house". So that's from a 3yr old who has now fear towards the cat, just DH has overreacted severely.

Oh, and I agree in DD's life so many other things could happen to her. It is all what if's....

If DH keeps pushing it, I'll tell him he is NOT taking the cat to the pound where he will fret and then more than likely be put to sleep - which is just downright cruel to make him stress to then be killed - he can take him to the vet and explain to the vet that he is paying to have a perfectly healthy cat put to sleep because he scratched to defend himself. Easy to tell me what he plans to do but go tell someone who's profession it is to help sick and injured animals is a completely different matter.

Lol, as a cat lover I am with everyone else. I'd rehome the husband ;)

I agree with many points made above. Rehoming a 10 year old cat would be extremely distressing.

Declawing in Australia is illegal. It is an act of animal cruelty. The only time a cat will be declawed in Aus is if it's deemed medically necessary.

And yes I wouldn't be getting rid of my cat. I've got a 15 year old cat who has survived two children. Not without a few "mind your p's & q's tap" from the cat to a child once or twice. Kids should be taught to respect animals. Getting rid of the animal doesn't teach anybody anything. And at 10 the chances of the cat being rehoused is very unlikely, more than anything the cat would most likely be put to sleep. And that's IMO a little drastic due to a few scratches.

If it becomes an ongoing problem I would consider getting claw tips (google soft paws) so your DH would have no reason to get rid of the cat. They are like false nails in that you trim the cats claw and then apply glue to the cap then slide the cap over the claw. They are meant to last 4-6 weeks Three scratches in as many years is a pretty good record though, particularly when you consider the cat was certainly provoked in this instance

good luck

Personally I'd get rid of the husband not the cat.

But then my husband was told when we met that if he had a problem with my then cat, sleeping IN the bed with us, he's not the man for me and he should carry on walking.

You can't blame the cat when it was provoked. It was only doing what comes naturally to it and defending itself.

What happened with this? Were you able to calm him down about the cat?

He hasn't mentioned it since the night it all happened. Hopefully he had a day to realise how much he overreacted.

The scratch is almost healed completey but the night after the scratch DD was playing a being rough with the cat again - in front of DD and he had to keep telling her to leave the cat alone or she would get scratched again.