Just wondering.....
Now that I'm lucky enough to be home looking after the girls this year, I like to try and do as much as I can around the house so DH doesn't have to (just to let you know, he has NEVER said he expects this at all). Anyway, before he comes home I find myself doing a quick run around the house picking up toys to make it look a bit less chaotic (other cleaning jobs are generally done already).
Does anyone else feel the need to do this?
the only thing I do is stack the dishwasher and only if the plates have been more than a day. plus he rarely gets lunch at work so makes something when he gets hone so I have a clear spot on the bench for him (sometimes. we finishes at different times every day so often I do it for him while hevis alreasy hone)
Nope. Though because he gets home after the kids are in bed, I have usually done a little tidy to reset the house so to speak. If he happens to get home before this he joins in.
yes. most days I try. during the day the house gets so messy with 2 kids at home.
its just nicer I think. I would feel swamped if I came home to our mess
Yep :)
But its more for me than anything. I usually get my motivation-to-clean kick in the late afternoon/evenings anyways.
I do like to have a clean house with dinner on the way for him also. But like your DP, mine doesn't expect it at all (most days anyways ;)
No. But I expect him to have done some domestic chores by the time I get home.
Nope with five kids I'm picking their stuff up constantly so no special effort here lol
I always clean up when dd sleeps so its generally not bad when he gets home. I like the sink to be empty and I normally have dinner going. I love it when he's excited for dinner smells :)
Absolutely not! We share the cleaning. We both care fr kids while each other is at work. Generally we clean up together.
I think DH would think something was wrong if he came home to a clean house :lol:
I tend to start tidying as the kids wind down. My DH isn't home until 7 or 7.30pm so I like to have the bulk done so we can put the kids to bed together and then relax!
I tend to naturally get an urge to tidy a bit in the late arvo, I also prefer to get it done then, than later in the evening. So I do it for me, not for him (well on the days I am home before him)
Yep! I start packing up when kids eat dinner, then bath and bed. I like to walk into a clean house and Dh knows that so I extend him the same courtesy.
It's part of my end of day ritual and sometimes the only tidying I've done.
:rofl: If only you could see my house right now. It is an absolute disgrace (and it stinks!) and I cant move to clean it. Pre pregnancy I did if I had time/energy, but not so much for DF as for me. I hate mess it makes me depressed. DF doesnt seem to care at all.
No. It would set some pretty unrealistic expectations about standards.
We tidy up together after the girls are in bed.
I'm trying to learn not to. I need to put my kids first and lately I'm not very good at that.
I remember when I was home full time with DD, I'd sleep/relax through one of her naps and tidy in the other. It wasn't for DH, I don't like a messy house and this was when I had time. Unless we'd had a rough day or been out. DH didn't mind either way.
Now the shoe is on the other foot, DH finishes work before me and is home with DD at 3:30, whereas I get home at 5:30. I LOVE the days (like today) that I come home and the dishes are done and the floor is tidy. Certainly makes me appreciate him :)
i try to just pick up throughout the day. usually if it is before the kids are in bed then no, he sees the house warts and all, but if, like tonight he gets home after they are in bed, then yeah the house is tidy...i always do a quick clean up/sort of things before they go to bed...clean tidy room = better sleep in my thinking :)
I do. DH certainly doesn't expect it and we share a lot of the cleaning. Obviously I do more though because I'm a SAHM and he works. DH is usually the one who cooks dinner though so I just think it's nicer for him to come home to a tidy house, especially kitchen because he usually starts cooking soon after he gets home. And I don't like doing the cleaning after he's home. I'd rather sit and talk to him. So I will usually tidy everything up and then set up something to keep the girls interested so I can catch up with him while he's cooking.
Yes I do (what cleaning and tidying I do - I am fairly domestically challenged), but is more to do with timing than anything else - because there is little point doing all day long because just gets in a state again, but the only time I have the TV on is the hour before DH is home, while I am doing tea, doing other dishes and tidying bits and pieces (when I am not working that is). Once the kids are in bed I want to chill so don't want to leave it to do later. Also really I am a complete slob - and sometimes I don't want DH to see that (it isn't the kids always although I do blame them sometimes )- when I was at home job seeking the kids were in daycare all day and I would often still do a mad tidyup before picking them up and DH getting home. Each to their own I reckon, different things work for different families - all DH likes is the side in the kitchen to be free for him to put the groceries down on (as he often does shopping on the way home) and for him to be able to prepare his meal for lunch the next day (and often mine too now am working).
I tidy up, but it's not for DH. And on the days when he's home earlier than me, he also does the same.
I do, DS and I do a tidy up together so we can spend time with Dad when he gets home. He doesn't expect it, but I know he appreciates it. On the days the place is a bit of a mess, DH will pitch in when he gets home
One of the reasons that a) I don't have a DP and b) I have a cleaner.
When I was married, no I didn't.
I like to have the house clean when dh comes home. I know he hates mess, as do I, and hed honestly rather the house tidy than dinner nearly ready. Most times I have both done, because hes home at about 8-8.30pm, midnight, or 8am (shift worker) all of which generally give me enough time to get dd to help clean her mess, I clean the rest, have dinner fixed up and be relaxing on the couch waiting for him (either that or sleeping :lol:) and when he's on day shift most of the time dd is asleep by the time he gets homeso its given me a chance to clean and keep the house clean too.
Having said that, dh does not EXPECT it, but tbh, I kind of do of myself. We only have a little house and one child so its not too hard to make the place look tidy and have most things done. If it stays messy for ages usually dh will mention something, but if I'm busy or working he will either not mind, or clean the house himself, depending where he is on his work days.
Yep. Im off work at the moment and although DP doesn't really say so, he does expect it. Just as I would of him if he were off work for a while.
I guess like some of you have mentioned, when I was working and DH got home before me I loved coming home to a (fairly) clean house and dinner cooking. It would make me feel so happy when walking in the door so maybe why that's why I like to do it where possible. Also, near the end of my pregnancy I was not allowed to do much so I hated the mess. Maybe I'm making up for it?
Expect? No. But I like to do it because it's our love language. He also does it for me when he's at home. But he also helps out the second he walks in the door, or when I'm not able to do my share. I got a keeper ;) And so did he! :D
DH is exactly the same. I was feeding DD2 when he got home today so he came straight in and continued cleaning up from where I left off cleaning up from DD1s dinner. We cook probably 50/50 too.:
DH is exactly the same. I was feeding DD2 when he got home today so he came straight in and continued cleaning up from where I left off cleaning up from DD1s dinner. We cook probably 50/50 too.:
I have a whole routine.....I think I'm weird after reading this.
Hubby usually leaves home to ride his bike at about 6 am so After DS has his morning feed I pack him into the pram and we go muck out stables down the paddock and turn the horses out (feed up change rugs, lunge who needs a move etc). Then come back in for brekky. While he eats I eat on the run, unpack dishwasher, put on a load of washing, do some dusting and clean kitchen from hubbys brekky and ours. I then make the bed, tidy the washing away from the day before as DS plays and "helps" (he's getting really good at putting undies away). We usually then have a play or he gets in his swing while I hang out washing. We then walk dogs about 2-3 km (him in pram).....
After lunch I usually vacuum, shop, tidy or clean a bit with the little fellow tagging along.Sometimes a spot of fencing, a swim in his pool, some weeding or another outside thing Yesterday he "helped" the farrier. We stop for heaps of games in the arvo. This tends to reduce the playroom to a warzone!
He eats dinner about 5 when I usually organise the rest of dinner if needed or do more in the kitchen. Then we go and put the horses up for the night and feed up. We water the vegies then get back in about 5.45.
We put away toys and stuff and dance to music and his dad usually gets home about 6 and joins in. Then we do bath and bed together and hubby and I generally sit down to dinner a little after 7.
I think perhaps I am a control freak............
I think I should work as hubby is working so I treat things a bit like a job. When I work on the week-end hubby doesn't get as much done but then we let it slide a bit on week-ends and I don't work full days ...........
I have a whole routine.....I think I'm weird after reading this.
Hubby usually leaves home to ride his bike at about 6 am so After DS has his morning feed I pack him into the pram and we go muck out stables down the paddock and turn the horses out (feed up change rugs, lunge who needs a move etc). Then come back in for brekky. While he eats I eat on the run, unpack dishwasher, put on a load of washing, do some dusting and clean kitchen from hubbys brekky and ours. I then make the bed, tidy the washing away from the day before as DS plays and "helps" (he's getting really good at putting undies away). We usually then have a play or he gets in his swing while I hang out washing. We then walk dogs about 2-3 km (him in pram).....
After lunch I usually vacuum, shop, tidy or clean a bit with the little fellow tagging along.Sometimes a spot of fencing, a swim in his pool, some weeding or another outside thing Yesterday he "helped" the farrier. We stop for heaps of games in the arvo. This tends to reduce the playroom to a warzone!
He eats dinner about 5 when I usually organise the rest of dinner if needed or do more in the kitchen. Then we go and put the horses up for the night and feed up. We water the vegies then get back in about 5.45.
We put away toys and stuff and dance to music and his dad usually gets home about 6 and joins in. Then we do bath and bed together and hubby and I generally sit down to dinner a little after 7.
I think perhaps I am a control freak............
I think I should work as hubby is working so I treat things a bit like a job. When I work on the week-end hubby doesn't get as much done but then we let it slide a bit on week-ends and I don't work full days ...........
your days sound great - we wanna come live with you :D
Kateo - your day sounds great! I guess I think of it a bit as my 'job' too on weekdays. By the way, I'm slightly jealous you live on a farm (or at least a large amount of land), reminds me of growing up. I'm determined to have more land again someday.
Nope but I do have things in order by the time DP gets home mostly becauae I would rather not spend our evening time together cleaning. My general routine is make as much mess as possible in the morning, have lunch then everyone pitches in to tidy up before spending the afternoon outside. Works great.
We have a pretty even distribution of home duties considering DP works. I do breakfast and lunch dishes (no dishwasher), we do dinner prep (or one does and the other entertains the kids) and cleaning together (after the kids are in bed), we settle one girl each to bed, every few days DP puts on washing on his way out then I hang it when I take the girls outside, the girls and I pack up our daily mess then on the weekend DP vacuums and I do the bathroom.
Yes I do. I know how annoying it can be when you walk in the door, after being out, to be confronted by chaos - I only do what I would expect to be done back if that makes sense?
When DH or I come home we park our cars in the garage and then access the house via a door that leads from the garage into the kitchen. From there you can see our dining and lounge area. I always try to have that area looking tidy, doesn't necessarily have to be spick and span, but at least it looks "calm". Like someone else mentioned, my DH works long hours and I treat being a SAHM as a job and I have no problems with that.
DH does not expect anything at all, I do it because I want to do it and also it means that when he comes home we can actually spend more quality time together instead of having to clean up everything.
Yes, but mine only comes home every few weeks, so I have to look like I do something lol.
When he lives here, possibly, but I like everything tidy, and our standards are different, so if that coincides with him arriving home, then that's the only reason.
I don't feel the NEED to but I definitely have the desire to at least try. I think its respectful and is a way to show that I care about him, what he comes home to and what he is able to provide for us because of how hard he works. I am able to stay home because of what he does and neither of us would want to change that as it means I am able to spend my time teaching and nurturing our children and hopefully keeping wherever we happen to be somewhat homely. I like to be in a clean and preferably tidy environment and feel I should endeavor to make it that way for those around me (not just dh!). I attempt to train my children to be self motivated and disciplined so they 'help' with things also, and hopefully as they grow they will be more diligent and capable so that one day when they are grown and living away from home or raising their own families they won't struggle too much or see house 'work' as a deplorable chore but instead an opportunity to show love and hospitality to whoever happens to enter their homes. Don't get me wrong I am FAR from a domestic wonder or perfectionist but if I can keep my mind and heart focused right I can at least keep things fairly tidy and clean- which makes everyone happier :D
ETA dh also does a lot of helping when he is here which I appreciate heaps but as he works very long physically hard hours I don't actually want him to feel he has to do much work when he's home.
Nope. I never have time after I've fetched his slippers and made him a martini . . .
Seriously though, no. He works from home anyway so there's no such thing as him "getting home". Even if he worked out of the house, there is not a snowball's chance that I would have any time to clean/tidy at that time of day - DDs 1 and 2 get picked up from school around 3pm and from then until all the girls go to bed I barely have time to get done what I need to get done - homework, dinner, baths etc - let alone anything else.
TBH I think I have a very different view to a lot of people. I don't see myself being at home as being "off work". I would have maybe 2 hours to myself every day when I don't have a little person who is actually awake. During that time I will do some domestic stuff - dishes, washing, ironing, cleaning etc - but I'm getting seriously crap sleep and have done for months and having had pretty severe PND in the past I am making a really big effort to take some of that two hours for myself, even if that just means sitting down and spending time on BB, watching bad tv or whatever. The rest of the time I'm spending time with my kids. I used to drive myself literally nuts trying to do it all. Now I've changed my thinking and priorities. Left to my DH, I would do a whole lot less than I do which is very sweet of him, but there's only so far I'm prepared to let my standards slip :p
Yep I agree time to yourself is really important lulu, I generally don't 'do' anything when kids are in bed either! Maybe put a load if washing on or a quick sweep of the floor. But I manage to get stuff done with the kids not around them most of the time, or when they are outside playing together nicely works well.