Are school events becoming family events?

A bit of a disastrous day at school athletics has really got me thinking whether families are taking over school events.

There was a bit of a disaster with small child and milk down my back, which has got me mulling over numerous things. Like

• Why was I there, if I was not there, it would not have happened.
• Why was a small child there and why were so many family members there. If the child was not there it would not have happened etc
• Why was the carpark overflowing 50+ cars when it is a small school (100 odd students, so 50 odd families)
• Why was the shaded area full (where the kids sit and eat) when most of the kids were on the oval.

Well, I was there, not because I wanted to be. There is a certain amount of expectation to be involved. I was just going up in my lunch break to check in.
No idea why most of the parents/grandparents/siblings were there. Only a small amount where actually helping (canteen, timekeeping, walking little ones to the toilet etc)

I find when I am at school events DD1 gets all clinging and whingy, she wants to be with us, not her school friends. To me, us being there affects her participation. She is old enough to get herself to and from the toilet, and ask for what she wants from the canteen. I wonder if it is the same for some others kids, their parents or another family member being there affected their participation adversely.

Does so many family members being there take away from it being a school event, does it just become a family event? Many families were eating lunch together, as opposed to the kids eating lunch in their house groups, which was meant to be a bonding exercise for the students).

Talking to another mum who has been involved in some other schools, she said some schools don't allow siblings etc events.

What are your thoughts? I really don't know, I just know I felt so overwhelmed and confused at the event today due to the sheet number of family members (and this was before the milk incident).

Sounds like a bit of chaos.

I would expect that parents come to support their kids in their races and help out. But I would expect the children to be with their class/house groups when they're not participating. If kids are old enough for school, they should be able to get themselves to the toilet.

But smaller siblings - they may be in the way, but why should those parents miss out on seeing an older child because they may not be able to get care for the younger one? Is that what you were meaning?

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But smaller siblings - they may be in the way, but why should those parents miss out on seeing an older child because they may not be able to get care for the younger one? Is that what you were meaning?

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Not meaning anything. I have a huge amount of thoughts in my head about the whole thing, some in conflict with each other, that is why I posted.

I see both sides of the bringing or not bringing younger siblings. I prefer not to take DD2 and it has just been fortunate for me that childcare and athletics day have been on the same day. I know my family situation and know that it is hard to support DD1 or help out with DD2 around.

I'm not sure about what it's like these days. But I think it's nice that family come. When I was little my Mum always came. Not everyone's did and the other kids would be hanging around her too showing her what they'd done and asking if she'd seen them do their events. I always enjoyed having her there cheering me on.

My mum was one who didn't go so I want to if I can, but for me I would need to bring her brother and sister to be able to attend. But if I thought it might effect her performance or behaviour I may not go, don't think I would invite grandparents though. When I had school sports days we always had to sit in our houses not with family.

I suppose my ponderings are, when does it cross the line from being nice to have family there, to it becoming a family fun day?

I am wondering if some of the issue today was that they were not enforcing the lunch in house groups, it was meant to work like that, but clearly was not.

I love sports days - when I was a child the oval would be filled with families cheering children on. I often look out on the oval (I work across from it) on sports day and feel sad for the lack of participation these days.
I personally would not have issue with younger siblings being at such an event, or even grandparents, I think that's what these days are all about.

I think that was what was lacking today. The cheering and encouragement whilst the students competed. It was more like a social picnic.

Sounds like it could be more poor management on the schools part than anything.

Tbh, you hear teachers complaining about lack of parental involvement. I would have thought having family there would have been positive. I can see your point about being a social gathering though. Does defeat the purpose.

I was super into athletics in school, we all had parents there cheering and supporting. In fact my grandfather would be doing my post race rub downs (former footy coach). For me having my family there was important. I knew they were cheering me on and proud of me. I always ate with them because mum had the right foods for me and its not like I ever ate with them normally at school...

I think the line could get crossed though if family detracts from the even instead of improving.

Fwiw I would be peeved about the milk down my back too ;)

My kids hate sport days. I go to support my children best I can, younger siblings come with me because I don't have family support to leave them with someone. I don't do day care. I have taken to just not sending them on major all day sport events. If its a single race like cross country then I am not going to go anymore. It does give them a reason to withdraw from their House group. But we have a whole heap of other issues going on that add to this so it gets complicated.

BUT in saying all that, Sport events at school should be something parents go along to & support their kids. If that means its a family event then thats what it is.

Firstly I'm sorry about your mishap with strawberry milk.

Our sports events are ALWAYS family events. Yes there are gaggles of socialising going on but the school makes sure this does NOT interfere with the kids and why they are there. Our kids aren't allowed to sit with us.

I'd say it was poor planning. And I think family and sports days can work.

I'm the opposite, I think it's a real shame that more families can't get to sports days. When I was a kid it was a huge thing at our school and yes, you'd have families and grandparents and younger kids all there cheering on. It was a real social day with lots of competition between sporting houses etc. At the school my DS1 goes to for high school, school sport is a HUGE thing, and I mean HUGE. when socialising with other parents the second thing they ask you after your name is what sporting house is your child in and I think that's fantastic. It creates a wonderful community and friendly rivalry at the school. Parents and extended family are always encouraged to attend and wear the appropriate house colours. At his swimming carnival it was like being at an international soccer match for all the crowds and cheering and it was a great atmosphere. I'm really looking forward to their beach carnival next friday as that is apparently a sight to behold - they have a formal march past in their house colours and everything. I can't wait.

BUT, it does sound like the overall day was a bit poorly run and I get what you mean about your presence interfering with your child. DS2 is like that - as soon as he knows I'm watching him do something, he stops what he's doing and just stands there. so I tend to hang back and not let him see me.

Our school is about the entire community, not just the teachers and the children attending school. I don't believe a child has the opportunity to reach their full potential without collaboration between the school and the home. I also believe that it is very valuable for children to see their school community function effectively on a social level - that is, parents, siblings grandparents, uncles, aunts... all getting along and enjoying each other's company.

I'm a little confused at your post. I read it to indicate that you question why so many families were present at the school sports day and that you found it inappropriate for pre school aged children to be present? I wholeheartedly disagree with this sentiment, I think it is wonderful that so many families came to be a part of the day. Perhaps the school staff should have encouraged more participation from those attending, such as cheering and so on, but ultimately there is a great deal for children to learn in seeing families from their community enjoying spending time together. As for the pre schoolers... are you serious? Schools are places for children and people who have children, how could it be inappropriate for those future students to be present?

I'm sorry you had milk spilled on you, but... there's no use crying over spilled milk! Honestly, it may have been uncomfortable or inconvenient if you had to go back to work, but it's just spilled milk!

Your title is, 'Are school events becoming family events?', my response would be 'I bloody well hope so!'.

Our sports carnival, more so the R-6 side of the school, is a big family affair. Having said that though we have 400 students in that section and definitely don't have 400 parents turn up ;) We (parents and friends committee) put on a huge BBQ that runs until after the last lunch bell has sounded and we start the BBQ of with bacon and eggs for the parents.

Now on a personal level I do find Lachlan suddenly "feels sick" so wants to come to the sausage sizzle stand. Therefore no longer competes in the days activities. That annoys me, but his teacher (last years anyway) just lets him go. Will see what happens this year later in the year.

We have 220 children at our school. It is considered a "small" school... In events like a school athletics carnival we have a huge contingent of family members who turn up to support the children. We cheer, we laugh, we shout, we socialise, we wear team colours and yes it is fun. Would I want to be excluded from coming along because I have a younger child who is not in daycare/babysat etc - bloody oath not. Would I want to be excluded because other people's children are clingy and don't want to participate as soon as they see their parents - no way!

At our carnivals the children are only allowed to be with their family members at lunch times - at all other times they sit in their faction groups where they "bond" together. We are not responsible for taking them to the toilet etc and are not allowed to visit them during the events. I would hazard a guess that your carnival was quite poorly managed.

And in relation to other family members coming along - I don't see the harm in it at all. It helps to create more of an atmosphere and more of a community feel. For the past 2 years my sister has managed to make it along to the athletics carnival and the children loved the fact that their aunty was there cheering them on.

My dd's school encourage it to be a family even, there are about 70 students and they included a teacher parent relay and a race for preschoolers. Kids were encouraged to eat with families at lunch or sit with their friends. The volunteers did some work but the school arranged for the Local Lions club to cook the BBQ (school supplied the food)

I think making these things family events is great and create a sense of community done well but if poorly organised I can understand how it could quickly turn to chaos

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Our school is about the entire community, not just the teachers and the children attending school. I don't believe a child has the opportunity to reach their full potential without collaboration between the school and the home. I also believe that it is very valuable for children to see their school community function effectively on a social level - that is, parents, siblings grandparents, uncles, aunts... all getting along and enjoying each other's company.

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This is exactly what I wanted to say! To me, being part of the community and participating in community events is a big part of learning as well. At our school (a smallish rural school), younger siblings are encouraged to come in to the classroom and explore, they're encouraged to go and sit on the mat with the children at the end of the day etc.

Sure it can get a little chaotic, and perhaps your school could of managed things a little better, but I really think it is extremely important to have family input, not just from parents, but from siblings of all ages, and extended family too!

Our school is also big on Community involvement in school events and when it's well organised it's absolutely fantastic for the kids and for everyone else. Do you know any parents on the School Council? I'd bring it up with them so that further events can be better managed.

Regards,
Dianne

Our school population is a little bit different than most city schools. Here the emphasis is on attendance first, then participation and community.
Our sports days are family events, and families are encouraged to dress in team colours and cheer, but the kids have to sit with their house until lunch time. However, there is a core group of parents only at every event. All the kids know us at least lol. Even my little kids are encouraged to join in the carnival events that the infants school do.
I also have trouble with DD1 participating when I'm there but the school is small, and her teachers are great. I want her to see that we can both have a great time.

PS I hope your DD still enjoyed the day :hug:

I think parents and siblings should definitely be encouraged to attend. I attended my first sports carnival yesterday when DD1 was in pre primary. There were lots of parents and younger siblings there, but the school kids all stayed together for the running races. Then they were divided into groups for other activities like tunnel ball etc and the parents/siblings all followed around their own kids. It was great - I got to talk to my DD but there was great organisation so everything kept moving. She was thrilled that her mum, dad, younger sisters and grandparents were there to watch her - she's a bit of a show pony though so maybe not all kids would feel that way!

My kids go to a Christian college, so I think that in itself means that families are always going to be a big part of any school event, and its something I really love about the school.

It's a shame that the families weren't getting involved in the event as such (ie the kids were competing on the oval and the families were enjoying their picnics without paying attention to what was going on). I think its reasonable for families to be there though and would feel a bit miffed if we were asked not to attend.
I must admit, the cross country carnival I attended last year felt a bit like this at times. We made sure we watched DD's race & cheered her and her peers on, took lots of photos. But the rest of the day was a bit of mayhem. The athletics carnival was a bit better I felt, with the space (and event) more conducive to spectatorship.
It's really tough for some kids to sit in their house groups when their parents are present though. At the athletics carnival DD got very upset when I told her she couldn't sit with us & I ended up relenting and sitting down with her in her house! I couldn't have done that though if DH hadn't have been there to mind DD2.
It's a hard balance to reach, but primary school is all about finding that school/family balance I think, especially infants/early primary. I think overall it's beneficial to the kids to have family involvement in carnivals though.

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In a previous work place, our whole team used to go along to school sports day to cheer the kids on. We would turn up, cheer for the races and then leave. The kids were expected to keep in their house groups. Sometimes we would stick around to cheer for the kids friends, who we knew didn't have parents available to be there. This was primary school.

My mother would make an effort to be at all the kids sports events in primary school, including extended family (friends of the family & grandkids/cousins). She would also go to all our extra-curricular sporting events (hockey & netball for the girls, union, soccer & cricket for the boys). My dad used to take time off work to come to mine, he was lucky to work for a company that was very family friendly.

One of my fondest memories is of my mum running alongside me in the sack race cheering me on and almost knocking over other people. That's so out of character for her (very placid person, antithesis of the 'pushy parent) that it's comical. It was also the only athletic event I ever won so I peaked at five :)

So yep, I'm all for family going to sports days and for younger siblings going (I'll have to take DD2). Agree with others about it being poorly organised.

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One of my fondest memories is of my mum running alongside me in the sack race cheering me on and almost knocking over other people. That's so out of character for her (very placid person, antithesis of the 'pushy parent) that it's comical. It was also the only athletic event I ever won so I peaked at five :)

So yep, I'm all for family going to sports days and for younger siblings going (I'll have to take DD2). Agree with others about it being poorly organised.

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I have similar memories. But I sucked at sack race lol. I fell over and was coming last. I was going to give up, but when I looked up there was Dad at the finish line, telling me I could do it and cheering me on. Even though I cried and came dead last, and sucked the whole way, he was there to give me a hug and tell me he was proud and I'd done a good job. It made me so glad I didn't give up, and I was only 5.

Later that year we had cross country, and when we came out of the woods part onto the oval, I was running with a friend when I saw Mum and Dad. Of course I stopped to say hello! My friend kept going and another went past, meanwhile Mum & Dad were screaming for me to keep going lol. Turns out my friend and I had been winning but stopping meant I came third lol.

I also remember having my grandparents come to watch sports days, and even though I'd only go see family quickly between events it felt great that they were all there for me. One of the best memories is when they'd do the last team events, the tunnel ball in a circle game with teachers versus parents versus last years seniors. Dad always went in it and I was always so proud of him :)

To be honest if sports day wasn't a family day I wouldn't have enjoyed it nearly as much!