Questions about siblings cosleeping

DD (almost 4) and DS (19 months) are desperate to sleep in the same bed. I'd love to encourage this -great for their relationship and super cute, but we've had a couple of trial runs with naps and it's left me unsure.

After some opinions:

- how old do you think the youngest has to be to cosleep unsupervised? He's a pretty robust little guy, but I still wonder about risks to him if DD is sleeping heavily. They'd be in a king single mattress on the floor.

- if your kids co sleep or room share, how the heck to you get them to stop playing and actually go to sleep??!

Interested in this thread, as our plan (if the girls oblige lol!) is for DD2 to move into DD1's room at about 14 months, and into the same bed at 18 months.

I have a 4 1/2 and 2 1/2 yr old in same room different beds (cot still for youngest one)..... i seperate them if they dont settle i move the oldest into my bed and i move him back when i go to bed...

even for day sleeps like today the oldest is in my room with the fan going like mad and the little one in his room with the fan on .... and it works :)

Over the years DS has regularly slept with us or DD1. Now we have all 3 sleeping in the same bedroom - king single bunk beds and a king single bed. We still find him sleeping with a sibling regularly.

They don't seem to disturb each other once they are sleep, usually they become all tangled up arms and legs but they don't mind. Occasionally now as they get better one may complain of being squashed but it is very rare. They are so used to sleeping with each other that it isn't a novelty ie there is no mucking around or giggling at night.

In the morning whoever wakes first knows to exit the room and close the door. They don't wake each other and they don't make noise. Only issue is when one is slightly unwell or has a cough (annoys the s@%t out of the others!!)

DS & DD3 both often sleep with me & I considered getting them a double bed, but I was more thinking about the space in their room when I got bunks. They've slept together, with me but next to each other since DD was small. DS can be a bit rough sometimes, but DD deals with it now.

I'm actually glad I didn't go the double bed & do it full time. DD has decided to turn into an angry sleeper & she lashes out at him during sleep cycles. Pushing, kicking & pinching him in her sleep. It makes for interesting wake ups...

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Over the years DS has regularly slept with us or DD1. Now we have all 3 sleeping in the same bedroom - king single bunk beds and a king single bed. We still find him sleeping with a sibling regularly.

They don't seem to disturb each other once they are sleep, usually they become all tangled up arms and legs but they don't mind. Occasionally now as they get better one may complain of being squashed but it is very rare. They are so used to sleeping with each other that it isn't a novelty ie there is no mucking around or giggling at night.

In the morning whoever wakes first knows to exit the room and close the door. They don't wake each other and they don't make noise. Only issue is when one is slightly unwell or has a cough (annoys the s@%t out of the others!!)

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How did you train you kids to not wake the others ???

They just do - I suppose it is more of an incentive - if your siblings aren't awake then you get to have quiet time to yourself with no-one else bothering you;)

as im always grabbing my 4 yr old as he doesnt think to come out if the Ds2 is still asleep .....

We have co slept then co sibling slept with all 5 of our kids. Started with DS1 in our bed till he was 4, when DS 2 came along he was also in our bed. When their pair were 2 & 4 we moved them to their own room with bunks with a double on the bottom. They wanted to sleep together & did so for about 18 months, we then moved & the bunks did not fit in the new house so they had two singles in the same room which they eventually pushed together. Eventually though DS1 became agitated at night & when the 2 where about 5 & 7 I took DS2 out & put him with DD. DD also slept with us then shared a room with DS2 (I don't recall them sleeping in the same bed though). Once DS3 came he also coslept with us then moved in with DD at around 18 mths. When we moved up here though DS1 & DS3 shared a room with bunks & DS2 & DD shared the other room with bunks. After about a year DS1 & DS2 wanted to be in the same room again. DS1's issues seemed more undercontrol so we trialed that. They are doing ok together, get a bit silly but mostly ok. DD & Ds3 now share with DS4 now sharing the double bottom bunk with DS3 from time to time. I make the bed up so they sleep across it side by side & it looks very cute.

As for going to sleep & not playing, DD is pretty good, she is up the top, plays with her toys for a bit but is quiet & lays down when she is ready. DS3 & DS4 are not at the stage of leave to just fall asleep so I either lay with them while DS4 BF's to sleep OR I take DS4 in once he asleep. With the big boys, DS1 needs melatonin to sleep & DS2 is content to read most nights for a little bit.

All in all they are generally good & makes room sharing seem easy. But my kids have never been the sort to really fight with each other etc.

Thanks for your input ladies. Sounds like there's quite a bit of variation and I'm still unsure...

Does anyone think 19 months is too young to cosleep with a 4yo over night?

Also still interested in how people handle sibling monkey business at bed time?

i wouldn't have a problem with that age gap. Its about the same as I was doing with my youngest two. I tend to put a pillow between them though as They move around a lot.

Can I ask why they co sleep?

I get parents co sleeping with their children. But why siblings?

Can't comment from personal experience but read something online today that said don't let siblings co sleep if one was under 12 months.

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Can I ask why they co sleep?

I get parents co sleeping with their children. But why siblings?

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They want to. Helps them feel secure and safe in their own room, can help transition them from the parents bed to their beds, they may sleep more soundly with someone else in bed with them, there is limited space in the family home for numerous beds or bedding arrangements....... How long is a piece of string? ;)

I don't think too young - DD is on floor with us at moment while trying to night-wean DS (with reasonable success) and the other night I woke up to see DS had wandered in and they were both asleep on a little cot mattress. I worry more about safety of DD than DS as she will just sleep but he likes clambering all over people (all the time, even in daytime if you sit down etc he just wants to climb over you).

If DS ever sorts out his act about going to sleep and they wanted to I would let them - but currently when they are in same room she is in top bunk and him on bottom - we can't leave room until he is asleep really as he will climb up onto top bunk - but is a danger about getting down. So that limits any monkey business, I can't see them being able to just settle and go to sleep on their own in same room for a while - she would be fine but he is another story.

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Can I ask why they co sleep?

I get parents co sleeping with their children. But why siblings?

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Someone to cuddle :) Both my babes are cosleeping girls, they're not used to being all alone at night, they're used to snuggles and body heat. I figure I like sleeping with someone better than alone, they might too :)

I co slept as a preteen with my two younger (2 & 4 yrs younger than me) sisters, sideways in a double bed (it may have been a queen bed) Can't remember how old I was (i know i was older than 7) or how old the youngest sister was. I have a vague idea it was done as my parents couldn't afford single beds for us at the time and my brothers. We just accepted that it was bedtime & went to sleep. I have vague memories if the occasional disagreement as to who was sleep in the middle and who had which end but nothing else stands out as unusual from that time.

ETA this was in the mid-late 80s

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They want to. Helps them feel secure and safe in their own room, can help transition them from the parents bed to their beds, they may sleep more soundly with someone else in bed with them, there is limited space in the family home for numerous beds or bedding arrangements....... How long is a piece of string? ;)

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Yup, what she said. Mostly in our case because they want to. They've both loved co-sleepin with DH and I. Admittedly, more than I love it. I love the cuddles but have huge difficulties actually sleeping with anyone touching me. It would also make life a fair bit easier if it works for them as it's about to get a whole lot squishier with #3's arrival.

Vic, that's so cute about DS coming in for a cuddle! That's the other untested aspect of this scenario too... what DS will get up to if he wakes up and wanders at night as he's usually in a cot.

Fair enough. thanks for answering :-D

we are planning on this too, when DS is a bit older

My eldest two have shared a room and/or bed since DD1 was 2 and DD2 1. They originally each had a single bed in the same room. Then we moved house and at the age of 19months for DD2 and 2.5 odd for DD1 they began sharing a queen size bed. It started becuase they wanted to share a room. The bed sharing started because we were doing renos and it was convenient for them to share a bed, then they loved it and they stayed that way. About 6 months ago they wanted their own bed, but to still share a room. They each have a queen size bed and on weekends (ie non school nights) they will still bed share.

How to stop the games at bed time? That's a tricky one. Sharing a room started when they were just babies so I was in there with them until they went to sleep anyway - I would lie in one bed with one and DH in the other. Now they're at school they're usually pretty tired on school nights anyway and we have a pretty good routine so they're usually good. Some nights are a problem so usually that just means either DH or I have to go in there a few times to get them to calm down. Non-school nights we give them a bit more leeway, and that can get out of hand but we let them go for a bit and then start going in again. It is a downside to room and/or bed sharing, but I think the positives outweigh the negatives.

They don't wake each other up during the night but they are both really deep sleepers - not sure if that is partly due to them sharing or not.

My 3 oldest share a double bed. They are 6, 4.5 and nearly 3.5.

They share because they want to.

There is no monkey business because either dh or I sit in there until they all fall asleep.

My two middle kids have been sharing a double bed since dd2 was about 12 months old, we've not had any issues.

My sister and I shared a double bed up until my parents bought their first home which had 3 bedrooms so we got our own rooms. I was 9 and she was 12.5 :) when we shared there were no issues as they staggard our bedtimes by 30mins so I was always asleep by the time she came to bed.

We have a family bedroom, but my two older kids sleep in a double bed together. I put them all to bed at the same time, and I stay in the room with them until they're asleep, so there are no shenanigans!
They don't really wake each other or bother each other. DS1 was sick and vomiting over the weekend, and even that didn't wake DD. I think they just get used to being together. DD has woken a few times, accusing DS1 of sleeping on her side of the bed and snuggling with her, but it's usually her encroaching on him and sleeping on him, lol! That has only happened a few times when they first starter co sleeping though, now they're used to being together.

Our two sleep in the same room, separate beds. DS2 goes to bed at 7pm and DS1 goes to bed at 8pm. When DS1 goes to bed DS2 is asleep. Only time we have problems is if DS1 is playing up, then he goes into the spare bed until he's asleep.