Can any mother breastfeed?

I'm about to have my baby in a couple of weeks but have been told by an expert that my nipples may not allow me to breastfeed because they were too flat/inverted on occasion?? I used nipple shields with my first born and found them annoying and they frustrated my bub to no end. Also, she got used to them and it was difficult to revert back to not using them.

I'd love any advice on the subject. Is it merely perseverance?

Hello! I'm not experienced with shields or inverted nipples but I know a lot of mothers and babies have struggled with BF early on for all sorts of reasons, myself included, and it can be SO hard but it is not insurmountable.

i also know a few people who have had to use shields- there are lots of different sorts out there so if you have to use them again, maybe try a few, get some personal recs. and if you and baby do have to use shields for a long while who cares? You're breastfeeding and that's the most important thing.

Plus you may not even need them- good to be prepared but you never know ;)

A cousin of mine had to use shields with her first son because of inverted nipples but with her second, was able to feed without them.

Good luck. Use the ABA for support if needed too.

It is extremely possible to bf with inverted nipples. My advice is get in touch with your local ABA and get some support now before bubs is here.

Thanks. The thing is the lactation nurse said sometimes my nipples are fine and other times they are slightly inverted.

The ABA article of the week is on Inverted nipples https://www.breastfeeding.asn.au/bfi...d-flat-nipples

Also have a look at Reverse Pressure Softening, that can help baby attach when the breast is full http://www.salactationconsultants.co...0Softening.pdf

Not every woman can breastfeed - but nearly all can. For most women these days it is like setting off from Melbourne to Sydney without having once looked at the map, and without being able to read the signposts. Most people have an “I will if I can” philosophy and “it’s supposed to be natural isn’t it” They don’t use the information around them (ABA, Breastfeeding Education classes, Lactation consultants) And unfortunately the one person you asked sounds to have given you the wrong directions! (sigh) Then people arrive in Adelaide and not Sydney and wonder where they took the wrong turn. You haven’t got long to go, but educate yourself as much as possible. Have your baby skin to skin with you, and help her to feed early. Get a good LC and join your local ABA group. It all makes such a difference

I think almost all mothers can feed, so long as they get good information and support. Perhaps you could try getting in touch with another LC for a second opinion, that might be reassuring for you. Joining the ABA and connecting with other breastfeeding mums around you, as well as accessing counsellors in your area, might also be really helpful.

I had very flat nipples with one slightly inverted. Breastfeeding dd took some getting used to because of the way she had to stretch my nipple out. After the first five weeks or so I was breastfeeding in all different situations and positions. It takes perseverance and time. I haven't stopped breastfeeding since then, although dd weaned at 2.5. At 2 ds is feeding lots still and was easy to feed from day one. Good luck.

I got such a hard time from my DH's family when trying to feed BD. They all but accused me of starving her. My DH restricted their contact with me and the baby because of it.

I really want to breastfeed my new baby. I'm feeling determined. DH supports me in this.

Will my baby get enough milk if it takes weeks for me to get it right? Will I be depriving them? I don't want to start top-ups or pumping prematurely. How will I know when to give up?

You're going to look at things like how many wet nappies they get in a 24 hour period (if you use disposables, this is about 5 wet nappies, cloth nappies about 6-8), things like weight gain (steady, gradual, consistent), things like skin tone & alertness, and a baby that at least for some parts of the day is contented. As you're about to find out, even when they have the same parents, no two babies are the same, so until your new bubs is in your arms it's all a bit speculative, but there are good general guidelines to telling whether or no he/she is getting enough. You're also going to do skin-to-skin like nothing else, and to do baby-led-attachment, because this is brilliant for stimulating supply, and getting bubs to get attachment sorted very early on. Worthwhile googling baby-led-attachment videos, because it's ah-maz-ing stuff. If you join ABA, then you get sent a really good book on Bfing, it's a brilliant resource, loaded with information, and then anytime you've got a BF question or concern, you can call them - even at 3am in the morning (even if you don't join, you can call them). The ABA website is loaded with info too. You're also going to put aside the fears about inverted nipples, because really, it's just one person's opinion. Deal with your actual reality, not someone's speculation, if that makes sense. If you have to use nipple shields to get started, then that's okay too, but just because you used them last time, doesn't mean you'll need them this time around (again BLA can really really help with this). If you do need to use them make sure they're the correct size for your nipples, this can make things much easier.

Having said all that, it's really normal to be anxious & worried about what's to come. It's a huge change, and worries about breastfeeding just add to it all. But your DH sounds like a keeper, and maybe he could do some reading up as well, which can also be enormously helpful. Maybe get him to watch some of the Baby-led-attachment videos ;) Your health nurse may have some recommendations for lactation consultants in your area, so that if you need some direct hands-on help (maybe not literally, but you know what I mean hopefully) you can get that help quickly, before your in-laws really get into your head.

Good luck :)

PS Did I mention skin-to-skin and BLA? They're really awesome :)

Thank you so much, BG. Wish you were going to be at my side with that kind of support. Lol! I've since googled BLA and feel a bit more in the know about it. I'm on maternity leave now so I'll take some time to watch some videos too.

I didn't like using the nipple shields at all with BD. I did it because I thought I had to but now I know I should have tried harder or sought further advice. I think I was a deer in the headlights with my first baby. I want to be informed and supported. I am feeling far more determined this time around.

I just hope I can. DH has promised to kick visitors out again if I feel stressed or uncomfortable. He still feels bad that he wasn't reading my signs as well as he should of (he's a gem).

I like the sound of your DH!! You're determined and that is a lot of the battle. I swear that's what got me to stick with it after a very rough start with DS3, determination and much more education than I had with DS1&2. I'm sure you can do it too :)

Just remember though (going on from what BG said) Babies only get a very small amount of colostrum in the first days - and that is normal. In the first 5 days you would only expect one wet nappy per day of life - eg one wet nappy on the first day, 2 on the second day etc. You would expect a baby to lose 10% of their birthweight and regain in by 2-3 weeks. That would be completely normal. You baby only know’s *your nipples* - it doesn’t know what everyone else’s nipples are like. Those first early feeds will imprint how to feed from “your” nipples
Call your local aBA group and see if you can get into a Breastfeeding class before the baby is born

I just want to second what Barb says about the wet nappies over the first few days. My DD # 2 didn't harldy have any wetness in her nappies (hard to tell too b/c of the hospital using disposables, so I put cotton balls in her nappies) but she still was doing well, so don't go off that solely.

My DD lost close to nearly over 10% of her birth weight & I started to feel some pressure from the midwives about top ups etc...but I put my foot down & engaged the hospitals lactation consultant and put in place a 'plan' with her. (three hourly feeds amongst other things) If I ever felt a little under pressure about comp feeding etc... I'd tell them that I was following the plan set out by the LC & they left me alone. On discharge from the hospital DD # 2 hadn't gained much weight back (20 gms from memory) but I told them I was following up with the LC (which I was) and they didn't say anything more.

If you can, engage a LC upfront for reassurance and support.

I had inverted nipples most the time before DS1 and he breastfed like a bloody champ. I rarely got inverted nipples once he was done with me but I still have flat nipples. DS2 had attachment issuesbut I think that was also due to PND so I didn't want to feed him. I expressed heaps and topped him up with that and got the swing of things as time went on and bf till 18mo. I'm hoping to make it till 2 this time. dDS1 only bf till 10.5mo but that was on his own accord. Definitely possible to feed with different nipples, we are all different

Going to suggest ABA again, as well. The book is a great resource, as BG has said, and you may still be able to squeeze into a breastfeeding class if you call now and find out. Though the local support groups and counsellors you can get loads of support and access to accurate information that will help you to know whether your baby is getting enough and what you can do if things are not going so well.
Good luck!

I'm like Rhichichi- my DD lost about 11% of her birth weight (not sure if you remember with your first one but the hospital usually does the official weigh in on damn day three when most mothers get the baby blues- stupid timing) and I was told by one midwife to express get hurry up my milk (it hadn't come in yet) but then in the same sentence she said I needed to top up with formula. DDwas very unsettled in the hospy too, she was one of only two or three babies on my floor that cried on and off all night! So I felt like I was being pressured and judged, but we stick to our guns and as others here have recommended we put DD on the boob all the time. I gave up on the idea of timing feeds or trying to feed three hourly or whatever and just fed whenever she cried basically. I had nipple damage and pain on one side and eventually decided to rest that side for four or so days by feeding off one side then pumping off the other. This was the perfect solution for me as it allowed time and space to heal the nipple but pumping isn't for everyone.

I clearly remember counting and examining wet nappies! It did my head in. I do remember someone telling me, when I was madly trying to see how much urine was in a dirty nappy, that poo counts as a wet nappy- something that just stuck in my mind!

Breastfeeding takes time to establish.
It's a skill, so takes time to learn/adjust.
Plus you have the memory of how it was to feed your first.

Before new bub arrives, get your "cheer squad" in place.Get your dh to work out the type of contact, you will have with visitors and esp the non-supportive inlaws. You have the rigth to say "no visitors for first month, we're bonding" or whatever. And they might be snippy, but in the longterm, if this helps you establish bf-ing with your bub, that's what reallly counts. Let dh be the buffer. IT's hard to establish bf-ing with visitors coming and going. You need SUPPORTIVE people around you, the rest can go jump.


* Join the ABA, you;ll get their bi-monthly publication "Essence" in your mail box, jampacked with supportive info.


* Buy their calendar, so you see postive bf-ing images around you each day.


* If you are able, go along to a local group, ask if there are any other mums there that have gone thru the nipple issue you describe. I learnt so much, listening to the ABA meetings going on, while i was pregnant.

* my dh and i went along to a COuples Info session, put on by ABA, for couples, late in their pregnancy. The info covered that afternoon, helped my dh be VERY supportive, when i went thru bf-ing ups and downs. His support was so important to the bf-ing continuing, when things were not easy.


*Look up the ABA online (google it) and bookmark the homepage.


* Have the ABA helpline phone number magnet on your fridge


*Find out the contact details for Lactation consultants in your local area, have those in your mobile phone, somewhere easy to find.


* These things will enable you to get help in a timely fashion. When things go pearshaped for bf-ing, it means pain, and you need TIMELY help, not next week, not next fortnight, but RIGHT NOW. Hard to think when you're in pain, sleep deprived etc, so have those numbers EASILY available to you, so you don' thave to go searching.


If you don't end up needing any of this - great - but if you do - you have done the research work BEFORE you need it.


Barb is giving you great advice, like you, i wish i had lived near Barb when i needed the bf-ing help! Our first four months was full of challenges.


bf-ing "experts". I discovered, that GP's, many hospital staff in the labour ward, were woefully untrained in breastfeeding knowledge. A big shock to me. Even Child Youth Health staff gave me out of date, incorrect info. And they were all the first people i reached out to for help. I cannot stress enough, ABA counsellors, lactation consultants.

Misinformation, by people you EXPECT to know about bf-ing, i think, is the biggest cause of women stopping breastfeeding, it's such a shame.

In the labour ward, (i was there for six days), every shift, a NEW midwife would give me DIFFERENT bf-ing advice, so confusing. I only thru it, as i had had my own midwife throughout my pregnancy (and for first six weeks of my baby's life), so as she visited me each day in the hospy, i had the CONSISTENCY of what she told me, to rely on. THis was a public hospital midwife, who was also an independent midwife. Without this consistency, i don't know that i would have coped with bf-ing.

And whatever goes down, this is not a competion btw. If you feed your bub for three hours, three weeks, three months, three years, it's all the same, you HAVE breastfed your child.


Set yourself up to succeed, ask for help WHEN you need it, don't "hold on" and hope it will get better. All you can do is give it your best shot. I don't believe bf-ing is possible for 100% of women or babies, but it is possible for many - IF they get TIMELY and ACCURATE bf-ing info.

all the best hon, i know you want this for your bub, i felt similar (but without the nipple thing, i had different challenges).

we live in a anti-bfing society, there are so many haters, if we want to bf our children, we have to actively seek out the pro-bfing people and the people with bf-ing knowledge. Because anti-bf-ing people (the majority of society) will blame every single normal baby thing on bf-ing. X doesn't sleep thru the night? you HAVE to put them on FF. etc etc.


SO choose your battles. Be around, or surround yourself with the positive.

the only way i could find that, was online, the calendar on the wall, the supportive dh, was not well enough to drive/get to the aba meetings. i found my "cheer squad" where i could. And it worked.


You won't talk around the inlaws, don't waste your energy. People who love you and love the baby will SUPPORT you with your bf-ing journey, others are not worth your time. Reconnect with the inlaws AFTER bf-ing is established and working well. Your baby is more important than the inlaws bringing you down. DOn't even get into conversastions with them about feeding, change the subject, anything to avoid it.

Practical things for actually bf-ing:
- ideally, get yourself a recliner so you will be comfy and not experiencingn back ache while you feed (i so wish i had done this). Bf-ing happens easier, if you are comfy, back supported.

- have a bf-ing basket right next to you, when you feed, so you will have, at arm's reach, whatever you need e.g lipbalm, breastpads, spare t for you, mop up nappy, babywipes, bottle of water for you, basic fruit you can eat while feeding, crackers etc, cordless phone, toy/book to entertain your toddler, (insert the things you know you get up for) - so you don't have to get up un-necessarily, when you are settled and concentrating on bf-ing.
-

all the best hon.

I had expectations of difficulties establishing bf too, though for different reasons to you - I had a breast reduction. But I read, asked, spoke with the hospital LC and got a bf plan, went to the ABA's education session with DP, read the APA book 'Breastfeeding....Naturally' and otherwise educated myself as much as I possibly could before DS came along. I decided to structure my Birth Preferences so as to give us the best chance of establishing bf - ie, everything I could to have a vaginal delivery, no pethidine, skin-to-skin with me, or if not me, with DP, immediately post-birth, I included in the Plan that I wanted to do Baby Led Attachment at least for for the first few feeds, etc. There is a sample ABA birth plan on their website which discusses all the different options which are thought to influence breastfeeding hormones and success, and gives the reasons and research for them as well.

All of this planning and educating and research worked for me - I was expected to be unable to bf at all, and now, DS is 6 1/2 months and he's been bfing from the start, though from 2 weeks we realised that we need to top up with formula as my supply is not enough for him. But he is still breastfed! And i'm really proud of that.

All of the advice people have given above, I totally agree with. The only other thing I can add, is that, if you are concerned with being pushed to give top-ups, as I was, in the early days of colostrum, before your milk comes in, then one thing you might consider is to start expressing colostrum now, and freezing it. That will give you a supply of colostrum top-ups which might keep the staff at bay while you give your body time for your milk to come is. Not all women produce colostrum before baby comes, and it is not an indication of breastfeeding success if you can or can't express a few drops, but if you want to know more about this, there are other threads which discuss the ins and outs in detail.

And come back on here and ask away, any time. There is so much support, and from women who have been through some, most or all of what you are going through.

Pholi - that is a fabulously amazing story - well done!
Such good support on these pages! Just wanted to reiterate. 10% weightloss is normal. If it’s “nearly over 10%” then it’s NOT over 10% and no-one should blink an eye. To be honest, 11% still looks pretty much like just a bit more than 10% and still no need for stress. You CERTAINLY wouldn’t expect to be back at birthweight by hospital discharge. If not back at birthweight you might need to re-evaluate the plan - (but the plan would not include formula at this stage, usually)

All this talk about breastfeeding and I started leaking tonight. Lol. I haven't had anything for about 3-4 weeks.

I've received some brochures and looked at the website. Very helpful. At least this time I can confidently dismiss my husbands family's underhanded remarks about depriving my baby in the first few days. Knowledge is power!

I started with flat nipples (one slightly inverted) and am currently breastfeeding my 11 week old son who comes complete with Down syndrome (tiny palate and broad tongue) and a nasal cannula from his home oxygen. He has laryngomalacia (floppy airways) so we stop for breaks when he gets gaspy, which only happens during the day when he's thinking too hard about it instead of going with the flow.

It's not always hard.. My daughter I found it difficult, but I was younger, had personal space and aversion issues, and only lasted 4 months. This time around is so much easier. I still can't pump as it hurts too much, but because of that I have a tin of formula in the cupboard in case of an emergency and I can't breastfeed. (Emergency babysitter, etc). I haven't had to use it yet but it's a reassuring backup when you don't have a freezerful of EBM.

Katters - thanks for your post. That's so reassuring.

I don't think my nipples are flat or inverted anymore. I think the problem with feeding my first baby was my DH's family being so opinionated and making me feel so bad because I couldn't get it right the first few days. As if becoming a Mum for the first time wasn't emotional enough!?! They gave me a hard time everytime DH wasn't in earshot. If he had heard he would've gone off at them. I didn't want him getting upset so I didn't tell him what they were saying initially. He is completely onto them this time.

I think the question you need to ask is- why do you have an audience in the first few days/weeks of life? :( Things are hard enough! Especially some so unsupportive and critical. I can hear your frustration coming through in your writing loud and clear. It's fantastic your husband is on board. A preventative word in their ear from him may go a long way. He needs to advocate for YOU while you bond with new bubba. You have way more important things to be doing. Gigi was so on the money with everything- tell them what YOU want and how things will be. It IS hard to establish BFing with people around and all up in your face.

I had to deal with ***** nurses in special care telling me I 'can't breastfeed my baby because he has Downs'. 'Will have feeding issues.' "Failure to thrive." All ridiculous statements as the only thing wrong with him is his floppy airways which he will grow out of. Thank god for my sister in law being by my side in the early days and telling them to shove it. I watched and learned and pretty soon I was telling them all to shove it, too. P is now 3 kilos over his birth weight (now almost 7kg), and turned 3 months a few days ago. He's in 90th percentile on regular growth charts and isn't even on the DS charts. He's healthy and happy and that is in no small part to our fantastic bond. Exclusively breastfeeding him in special care for almost 2 months (with EBM for night feeds) is the only thing that kept me sane at the time. And happily, spending all that 'slow-down' quality time with your bubba while you get to know each other will help you reset your perspectives. It will remind you of the true value of people's throwaway words and opinions, and what's really important to you.

I spoke again with my husband after reading your last post. He said he will say no visitors at all if that's what the baby and I need and that I just need to say the word. I feel good with that.

I breastfed my first for two years
Then I had a pituitary tumor make me very sick
The tumor and my pituitary gland was removed
Pituitary gland makes prolactin
Prolactin makes breast milk

I am now in the 3% of women who truly cannot breastfeed.
I can give my baby colostrum it comes from the placenta.
But no milk will come.
My second got five days colostrum then formula and donor EBM

Good luck! Get varied help, get second opinions
Find what works for you and bub

That's an amazing story, Duchess.

After a lot of reading I feel better prepared this time around. I really thought the hospital would have been more helpful.

Hope you have a wonderful labour :) I get the feeling you won't be replying for a day or two ;)

I wish, Katters. Still no baby for me. I'm 4 days overdue and desperate to meet my new son or daughter. They are way too comfy in there. My last pregnancy so I am trying to enjoy the last moments before this chapter of my life is over and I focus on raising two beautiful children. Now, if I could just do it in more comfort... lol. I am having trouble walking the baby is so low.

Update:

I am so pleased. My son is three weeks old and is breast feeding well. I am feeding him exclusively. I've found that I just need to express a little first and he manages to work the rest out.

We had some latching problems but they are sorted now. Almost anyway.

Thanks for all of your advice. You've all been wonderful.

Yay for you! Sounds like you've got your confidence back now - I'm so pleased for you. :)

Thanks Pholi. I regret not trying harder with my daughter. The pressure to ff was enormous but I should have sought out better help. She is thriving and absolutely wonderful so I'm sure she is fine.

Awesome to hear! Well done!

Thanks. It's true when people say 'It gets easier'. I'm so much more relaxed about it now. In the first two weeks I was checking if my son had neonatal teeth because he used to munch down so hard!

Hi All. Just a quick update. Even though bf-ing was hard early on I persevered and have fed my boy exclusively. He's now 4 months and growing very fast.

Thanks for your support.

Yay! That is excellent, happy news.

You are awesome! You should feel very proud of yourself for dealing with the fears and the obstacles and acheiving this milestone! :)

Thanks for the support. Next goal - 6 months. My boy isn't showing any signs of quitting anytime soon. BF-ing is such a breeze for us both now. That first month or two was very difficult.