Kids birthdays

My kids just attended a friends birthday. Which is fine (of course!), it was a themed party, pretty big with about 20( +) kids there, face painting, a tonne of games and a pretty extravagant cake and very generous (aka- expensive) take home lolly/toy bag.

The thing is, DD just told me that they had cake at school yesterday for this child's birthday, with a lolly bag each too.
And tomorrow is her actual birthday, and her mum said they will be having a celebration almost as big as today with family tomorrow. This child is only 6.

DH and I are being pretty stingy with birthday for our kids. It's our opinion that they don't need a party every year. They all had a pretty big first party, they will all get a 5th party, and then we will see how we go for the rest. DH and I have said, maybe a 10th, 12th, 15th and 18th for each of them. That means something fairly big, generous, fun, and out of the ordinary. Jumping castles or bowling or a maccas party. What ever they choose.

Whilst we do celebrate their birthdays, they get gifts off us and family, We make a big deal of the day for all of them (and DH too!) I make/buy a dinner of their choosing. I make a cake of whatever they like at the time (like barbie/thomas the tank/peppa pig).
They have enough 'stuff'. We don't want them (or think they need to be) getting things off friends every single year. I appreciate the fact people want to celebrate my child, but buying gifts for the sake of feeling like you need to just isn't they way I want things done for us.

Is this too much? Or am I being overly dramatic, lol??! Essentially this kid will have had 3 birthday celebrations, and this happened last year too!

I think 3 celebrations to the extent you have mentioned is going overboard..

However my kids get cake at school/daycare and dinner and cake (ice cream cake if they are having a party) at home on their birthday.. If we are having a party, it is friends/family together, not separate occasions for each..

ETA - if they are not having a party, the will get the cake of choice on their actual birthday, otherwise it is made for their party.. I am not creative enough to make 2, lol..

My sister does that for her kids. The celebrations go on for days. I call it 'the festival'.

Each to their own I say.

I personally love birthdays the bigger the better!!!

What ever makes you happy ;)

We do that. But we don't have class parties every year. For our kids birthday every year we do lunch on their birthday as a family. They give lollies to the class, and on alternate years they have kids parties as well and then I have a big cake for family. The class parties are the most expensive lol. The family thing is usually dinner or a BBQ. Nothing fancy. Sometimes it's just afternoon tea which means cake lol.

We don't spend heaps on all the events. But often the class parties are things the family don't really want to attend.

We've done in the past, entertainers, discos (at home), masterchef party, movies, rock climbing, play centres etc. and it's never the entire class.

But I think in total my 11 year old has had 5 class parties in total, including kinder years. The other years she's had 1 or 2 friends come for a sleep over or for a play instead.

DS is 7 and he's had 3 class parties (including when he was in kinder).

I think every family is different and it depends on the dynamics.

If they can afford it and no-one is being hurt, then why should anyone care how other families choose to celebrate??

Bit like Rouge, some years we hold big parties for the girls, other years small ones.
I find the parties when they are younger are a good way to get to know the other parents, we cater for the fact that not all parents can leave and that with us being a bit rural, it is easier for them to just stay.

We have so far (and will this year) had a big do for DD's birthday - it's something we enjoy doing, so we do it. we have family and friends that travel several hours to be here for the day, so it generally starts at lunch (ish) time and finishes the next day when the last stragglers leave. its' something that we want to do, so we do it. it doesn't hurt anyone else so why not? Not sure what will happen when she's at school - at a guess, there will be more kids and more adults, so we'll have less food left over at the end.... :)

We take a cake to school/daycare (lolly bag as well is a bit OTT I think) on the birthday. We don't have a friends party every year, they have tended to be odd years so far - that might change this year as it is her first year of school and will be 6, she might want one this year. Even so, friends parties aren't big - if she's turning 6 she would be allowed to invite 6 people.

As for a family party, we might have a dinner, but not a party if that makes sense? So we might have a nice dinner (with something that she particularly likes) with family and a cake afterwards. My family is a few hours away, so this might be over 2 nights (ie one per family). Until now, grandparents/aunts/cousins have been invited to the friends party, but i think we are at the age where they shouldn't come (unless they offer to help out).

So there could be a number of cakes involved, but they are likely to be spread out over a while (my family are a couple of hours away so we might not see them for a few weeks after the birthday)

I am amazed at the effort people put into parties but if that is what they want then doesn't bother me apart from general wastefulness at alot - party bags with stuff in them no one really needs or wants - I prefer food in them than 'things' but much of the food is overpackaged. The stuff you see in the community centre bins after parties horrifies me in terms of the waste.

We haven't had a proper party yet, I always said would have one once kids asked for one - so DD will have one this year - but there will be a request for no presents and wont be any party bags.

DS1 had nothing more than cake with family as in DH and i and 1st ye my parents were here, until his 3rd when he had family cake, day care cake and a party with family and friends at a hall i hired. My parents did the take home bags and they were ott in some peoples eyes but they loved doibg them.He then at his 4th had all the same fanily cake, day care cake and party but at a play centre, again my parents did awesome bags. This year he will most likely have same but also a kinder cake.

DS2 started with cake with us and then for his 3rd had child care cake, family cake and a gymnastics party. My parents did bags again that were amazing!!

Each to there own I know kids don't need parties each year but my kids get so excited, DS1 been talking about his on July since day after my march birthday!!! I figure won't have excitement forever so enjoy it.

It does sound a little over the top to me, but if that's what they want to do then fine.

I think I had parties pretty much every year til the end of primary school (the last few were sleepovers with just a few friends). I didn't really do anything in high school (I don't think I wanted to) but had an 18th. For my girls I think I'll do the same. I loved parties as a kid. We never went overboard and I think I'll do the same. I'd like to give them a party every year whilst they're young. You're only young once!

DD1 had her first "friends" birthday party last year when she turned 5. So, big party with 15 odd kids at a play centre. Then cakes to take to pre primary on her actual birthday (not lolly bags too though), a "party" with my DH's family, which is almost 20 people all up, and then a family party of DH, me the kids and my folks on her actual day. DD2 got the same.

This year DD1 and DD2 are having two friends each for a combined tea party at home so much more low key, but everything else will be the same. Normally I wouldn't be doing any friends party this year, but DD1's birthday falls in the school holidays and given I would be organising a play day anyway what the hell. We have separate "parties" for the two sides of our family for a whole long list of reasons I don't want to go into ;-)

I don't think lots of parties are the problem - they can be low key, reasonably priced etc. What does get me is the craziness that some people do in terms of money spent - stretch hummers for 8 year olds, ridiculously expensive "party bags etc. I don't care how much money you have. For me its not about whether you can afford it but more what sort of message it sends to the kids - basically hey, if you really want to have fun you have to spend lots of money, do something over the top etc. Good old party games have gone by the wayside and I think its a shame.

DD has a party every year of her choosing. On a couple of occasions it's been her whole class, othertimes a group of girls (10-15) and a sleepover for three or four twice. She's been to play centres, roller skating, laser tag, pancake parlour and had parties at home.

We also have a family celebration on her actual birthday. Dinner of her choosing and a cake.

When she was younger, a bag of lolly pops, etc was taken to school for the class. Cakes are not allowed.

Am I indulgent? Maybe. But who cares?? She is our only child and if we want to celebrate her birthday, we will. She is not spoilt and she is one of the most generous hearts I know. Her birthday is her special day.

Eta - definitely no hummers and party bags are filled with a couple of dollars of lollies.

LOL@ Hummers. You all will be mortified at what we have planned for DD's' birthday this year. As its a combined "goodbye farewell" and birthday as this is her last year of primary.

I don't think anyone should need to justify what the day. I've had parties that DD went to where the whole class went to Luna Park. Good on them!

On the other hand, I am planning helicopters, ponies, jumping castles and strippers for my next party ;) :p

Strippers!!! Why didn't I think of that?! Duh!

Oh wait. YOUR party. Right. Gotcha.

Actually, I couldn't think of anything more boring than strippers :lol:

Damn. For a minute there I thought you were actually serious and had a penchant for people undressing.

As long as I'm not expected to compete with the people throwing these huge festival parties then I don't care what they do! My kids don't get big parties and up until this year they had a combined birthday party every year as there is only 8 days between their birthdays. I think some of the best parties have been the ones that have just been thrown together. DD1 had a slumber party this year and it has been a benchmark amongst her friends in terms of how much fun they had.

I agree that it's each to their own, I am not trying to be nasty or anything, it just sounds to me like over kill, lol. Maybe I am just old and jaded since I don't ever remember having a birthday party myself. I have done cup cakes for my kids to take to pre school if their birthday falls on a school day, but I don't think I will do it for DD at big school.

This year, I will likely also have a celebration for DD here (at home- we live 900km from family) a little morning tea (with 4 adults, though it ends up being 12 children since we all have 3-4 kids each) for everyone to share her cake. I do try to ensure that everyone knows we don't necessarily want a gift, only to celebrate with friends. Though, if people wish to bring a gift, I prefer home made, or something small like a book or colouring in book. There will be no party bags, no lollies. Just the cake, sandwiches for lunch (which my friends and I and our kids do together regularly anyway) maybe some balloons and dancing for sure! She will also have a little celebration at my mums house because we will be going there for the first time in 6 months the day after her birthday. My brothers/SIL/niece and nephews and mum will have her gifts there and mum will likely make her a cake.

Though this is out of the ordinary, we would either have the morning tea/dinner here at home and that is it, or we have extended family thing when we are at mums place for birthdays. It would usually be one or the other.

Maybe cause I have three kids to have birthdays for and limited funds, it just seems so much.

My girls seem to get ongoing birthdays. By the time everyone has visited we have had 3-4 cakes, sang happy birthday dozens of times and so on. Both girls have had parties for their birthdays. I enjoy throwing them. We don't do extravagant but we do have a good time. If you were to ask my girls what they remember they will say who was there and what they did and not what presents they have been given. Most people we have an understanding with too that if they are stuck for a present idea then they can put some money in the girls saving account instead.

Each to their own. You do what you can and others do what they can, who are we to know any of the circumstances as to why choices are made by others.

No i dont think its over the top. To me my kids birthdays are as important as Christmas. It's their birth day, the 1st day I got them in my arms. They get breaky of their choice, dinner of their choice, a party - if it's a weekday it's on the closes weekend and they have a cake on their birthday and 1 for their party, cupcakes to take to school/day care, and presents. If people think its over the top or not enough or whatever they want to think, it's their problem and it doesn't affect me. I celebrate how I want to celebrate and I think people should be able to celebrate their kids birthdays without being judged.

For me it think its way overkill one birthday is enough and it doesn't need to be extravagant ill be doing for my kids what was done for me a small family gathering or some friends and a larger party on significant years ie 1,5,10,13,16,18,21
I'm a big believer in making a themed cake myself of whatever there interest is at the time for me I really enjoy that and it brings back happy memories of my mum doing the same
I just don't want my children to be over spoilt and I don't want to have a nervous breakdown having to plan and find money for massive parties at least twice a year