Looking for ideas on how to get 2 kids to bed in a calmer way than is currently happening.
If the older one is quiet and the little one falls asleep on the boob I am all good. When this fails, they hype each other up, and I am screwed for the rest of the night.
I am often doing this alone, so not really looking for one kid one parent suggestions. Thanks
When I do it on my own - DS has boob, then stories and I let DD do drawing, then she comes to bed (top bunk) and listens to stories on IPOD. I have to sit there until DS goes to sleep because if I leave the room he climbs up to top bunk and either wakes her or they wind each other up. Sometimes I am in there till 21:00 most often about 20:15 - is a pain but I read BB and stuff so is less painful.
(I do think it helps that he can't see her because she is in top bunk, and she would do anything for stories on the phone - it is just audio - podcasts from the BBC)
Who's easier to get to sleep? Get them to sleep first then deal with the second. If I'm getting DS to sleep I will let DD watch peppa pig and playschool on my iPad then I deal with her...Ok so sometimes with DD I get desperate and if she's mucking up too much (she would literally stay awake all night if I don't be stern sometimes!) I tell her she can sleep outside and if she still mucks up I will pick her up and put her outside, that will literally only last a second as she hates it. I give her a hug then say ok if you don't want to sleep outside then you have to sleep in bed. Bad Mummy! But better than letting her CIO though right?
DS is easy and will just fall asleep in my arms in the dark after a little while, he is a VERY different kid to his sister which was settling in the fact that I knew it wasn't normal with DD.
good luck hope you find something that works.
With DD I prepare her for putting herself to bed.
Step 1
I usually say "You've got until the end of the show and then it's bedtime Harper" & "We've had a busy day today doing lots of cool things" as well as "You look really tired bubby, you need to get some sleep"
Step 2
When the show has finished, I point out the show is finished, in a positive way, and remind her to say/kiss people goodnight. Her and I then read her choice of book on her bed. No mucking around, just relaxing stories. Stop reading if she mucks about, and re start when she relaxes again.
Step 3
Once the story is done, big kisses and cuddles. I usually make a promise of doing a special activity (baking/nature walk etc) if she closes her eyes and keeps them closed until the sun wakes up. We always talk in the evening about the sun being up and own. Hence why she probably doesn't nap through the day.
Nightlights on, lightswitch off, and glow in the dark fairies watch her to make sure she sleeps ;)
Step 4
I always have to revisit her room a few times to reinforce that it is bedtime and she cannot come out of her bed. Stay positive and use lots of positive encouragement about the next days activities and how happy you will be if she is a good girl and closes her eyes in bed. Remind her that you're very tired too, and you can't go to sleep until she does.
Goodluck!
I need an I-device then! :lol: 9pm would be a good night here. Eenee, I don't know who is easier these days, neither of them are keen to go to sleep. I do try to go with who I think will drop first, but if it is DD, then DS just gets in to everything.
Sunnylove, what is #2 doing while you are reading stories etc?
Number 2 is with his dad, I totally overlooked that side of your situation! You could read to both of them in DD's bed, and when the story is finished take DS to his room to sleep, and let DD know DS is going to bed too now. She won't want to miss out on anything. I might also quietly read to my DS alone in his bed, and you could follow your own routine with your DS also.
No need for an I-device - we used a second hand cassette player (one of those kids Fisher Price ones) for a while - which was great as could finally play alot of the cassettes from my childhood - but DS got hold of a cassette and the tape got pulled!! so now I stick with an old ipod/mp3 player. My sister and I had Walkman's as kids, and I think this has really contributed to my love of audiobooks and radio - and I love that DD now shares that love. Is great for car too.:
I started putting both to sleep in the one bed. I always do bed time alone, so I do bath then stories all together in my bed, then I lie down between the kids and boob ds while dd cuddles my back. It changed my stress levels hugely at bed time. You could then transfer dd to her own bed if you wanted, but I ended up just doing a family bed.
You have to time the nap times etc so both are tired at the same time, but IMO getting them to bed together was so much less work than entertaining one while getting baby to sleep then sitting for ages while other falls asleep. I cut the settling time in half by combining it.
Now if dd wants to stay up longer with Dh she can but that's only recent and only on the rare nights Dh is home (weekends mainly)
I have 3 on my own.
I do whatever is easiest. Often I am flustered as I cannot wait until they are all asleep.
My big girl is reasonably easy. She just goes to bed. Often with a short DVD, audio book or a book, but she knows when she is tired and just goes to sleep. She also has a room away from the other two.
DS has recently become a nightmare. And often I have to resort to the outside threat too. We have a read/ milk. He used to just roll over and go to sleep. Lately he is awake for hours, so often he has fireman sam on repeat on the DVD player. He cannot just roll over and go to sleep. Often he is hungry (because he doesn't eat during the day :wall:). Sometimes if I sit with him he will go to sleep, often it's a long and protracted battle.
The littlest Miss, she goes when she's tired. If that's before the big kids, ace. Otherwise she just potters around until it's her turn or she's too tired. She's a feed to sleep kid though, so often I do it while I sit with DS.
I start the process early with dinner and baths.
If I'm on my own, I keep them up a little longer so they are really tired (but as we all know can be a fine line to over-tired!) then we all go into DS1 room, DS1 gets into bed and we read a story, DS2 sits on my knee and listens to the story, then I take DS2 to his room and he feeds to sleep. On the days I know I'm doing bedtime by myself, I will often do a late trip to the park to really wear them out. Also do the dinner/bath thing a bit earlier so they are not cranky about it all.
I really used to dread late afternoon/bedtime with my two but now ds2 is a bit older it seems to have settled.
Good luck, I hope you find what works.
I'll have all 4 of mine to deal with soon while dh is on prac. They'll all be in the same room and go at the same time and I'll sit in there until they are asleep.
Easy situation here though cos the oldest 3 already sleep in the same bed and dh puts them to sleep while I put dd3 to sleep
I have the 2 boys on my own when DH is on night shift. DS2 goes to bed at 7pm with a bottle and generally will go to sleep with just that, but sometimes I will sit on the floor next to him in the dark and sing softly to him.
While this is going on DS1 is watching a tv show in the lounge. He goes to bed between 7.30 and 8pm. I will sometimes read to him in the lounge room before I take him into their room. He has a small (I mean tiny) glass of milk. Then it's prayers and I leave. He generally is fine and goes to sleep but again on rare occasions he asks me to sing to him so I'll sing softly to him too.
Mine often double team me and will not be left on their own to fall asleep.
So method when DH is not here is to plonk them both in the same bed - usually mine and then jump in too. I will then jump out and relocate DD2 as she can be moved. DD1 is too big and will wake. Really we have decided the path of least resistance as the more upset prior to bed the worse the night seems to be.
Good luck!
I'd put them in the same room (if they're not already). That way you are right there with them both - its what I used to do with DDs 1 and 2. I would stay in their room for however long it took - and at the beginning it was looooooooooong. Otherwise, if I had to go between one and the other there was just no chance. Now I have to get DDs 1 and 2 to bed, and then tackle DD3 - usually involving the occasional walk back into 1 and 2's bedroom to tell them to be quiet and get back into bed while #3 is feeding.
They have beds in the same room. DS starts the night in there, and we are working on him staying there, but he often comes in to our room. DD generally stays there once she is asleep, but comes in to our room some nights.
I haven't had any success in DS falling asleep in his bed. I generally feed to sleep, or if DH is home he sometimes walks the floors.
When DS was easier to get to sleep, at least initially, I would feed him, put him to bed (in our room), and then I could feed DD (loungeroom) or read books etc in her room and then for awhile, we could leave her to fall asleep.
It just seems to have all fallen apart again. If I try to work on DD, then DS runs feral. And they can both outlast me, babysitters etc don't believe it until they watch them and we get home and they are still running riot.
They are dinnered, bathed, in pjs etc usually by 7 / 7.30, its just the next bit that stretches on forever.
When I'm flying solo (which isn't all that often), I bath the kids and take DD2 (16 mths) out first and dress her then I get DD1 out and dress her while DD2 potters around us. Next I get both their milks and we sit in DD1's bed and I read a story or two. DD2 doesn't always sit quietly so I just continue while she wanders around DD1's room. I explain to DD1 that daddy isn't home to help so she needs to be a good girl and be helpful by going to sleep after we brush her teeth. TBH, she's really good with the routine regardless of whether wDH abd I are both home or not. I put her to bed, we all exchange goodnight kisses and that's it. I then take DD2 to her room where she finishes her bottle in her sleeping bag with me cuddling her then I rock her to sleep.
I know, sounds so easy and I get that it's just not that easy for some kids. Some nights they play up but I just tell DD1 very sternly she needs to be the good big sister and I'll give her another cuddle once I'm done with DD2. If DD2 is really trying it on, I leave her for a minute to snuggle DD1 once more before tackling the littlest 'monster' again. :lol:
ETA: can they go in separate rooms? Sharing rooms doesn't work for all kids. I've got some friends whose kids sleep much better together but my two certainly don't. When they share a room while we are on holidays, they usually keep each other awake longer than usual.
Are they really tired at bath/dinner/evening time? I think your kids and my own share a similar HIGH voltage setting, and whilst its not always desirable, an extra movement activity might be the go-er? I've found nature walks on a windy arvo, or just this week FMS focused activities on the oval, a lifesaver in terms of really wearing them out, before quiet time (dinner/bath/book) begins. It's also become a great incentive for DD for the next day :)
My 2 are nightmares most nights at bed time. They are generally ready for bed between 1900-1930 but some night can be a fight until 2300 to get them to stay in bed.
They were in separate rooms, but decided wanted to be together and even separating them again the just get up to go to each other unless 1 of us is is lieing with other one but can still take a long time.
They get out of bed, get clothes out of drawers, get toys out, chuck doonas off bed and then jump off beds. It gets to the point of yelling and screaming as very frustrating. Some nights we end up with DS1 in our bed with DH and me sitting in boys room with DS2 till both asleep, generally 1 or both of them get up overnight and end up in bed with us.
It is very tiring and challanging and cant be depressing. Hang in there good luck
Step 1: Put DD2 into bed (after story) & kiss goodnight.
Step 2: Read to DD1 while she is in bed
Step 3: Put DD2 back into bed & kiss goodnight
Step 4: Sing DD1 a song & kiss goodnight
Step 5: Put DD2 back into bed & kiss goodnight.
Step 6: Provide DD2 with whatever she "needs" (e.g. my dinosaur, my book, my ribbon, my painting etc)
Step 7: Put DD2 back into bed & kiss goodnight.
Repeat steps 6&7 ad nauseam.
That's how we roll. Sigh.
If I am doing bedtime solo I will usually let DS watch a movie and have a later night (it doesn't happen that often here), that gives me time to get DD to bed and often DS will fall asleep in front of the movie (I turn all the lights down, set him up with a pillow and quilt so he can get comfy and cosy)
However when DS is tired and I need to put both to bed at the same time, I take them both into my bed and feed DD while cuddling DS and once one of them has fallen asleep, then I cuddle, stroke, pat the other to sleep. Once they are in a deep sleep I'll transfer them to their own beds.
double post
We turn the lounge room lights down low from 6:30-7pm onward. It has made a huge difference in how fast they fall asleep. Just a dull lit lamp instead of a big light makes them sleepier.
Also my SIL was having a lot of trouble with her 2yo & went to a toddler sleep seminar. One thing they warned her about was over stimulation (eg. TV/movies/news programs) easily over stimulate toddlers & kids. It was suggested at least 30min quiet before bedtime.
Some nights when my kids seem to be wound up I make them sit either on the couch or on a bed & we read quiet stories like A. A. Milne or Beatrix Potter. Or bedtime poems.
Don't get me wrong we don't do that every night (like I probably should) but it does seem to help when they have gotten to the ratty wound up stage.
Another tip for mum: deep long breaths, hard to do sometimes, can help save sanity though.
http://img.tapatalk.com/d/13/04/23/ru3yramy.jpg
Sing 100 green bottles to them?
Mine are a little older now, and seem a bit more tired when they first go to bed.
But when they were younger I did find one at a time easier. I'd do the dinner (early, like 5), then play, then tidy up, book, then shower, teeth etc. I would then pick the tired one and we'd all go to his bed and read one or two books. Then the other one would go out of the room (same room never ever worked in this house) and sit in the lounge with an audiobook on their own headphones ($20 from **** smith). They can't walk around much because the headphones and MP3 player restrict their movement a bit. They rarely muck up with them on. No tv at this stage. If I did offer tv, it was always before the bath bit.
Then sit with the tired one until he was almost asleep. Then sit with the other less tired one until the audiobook was over, or start another short book - reward for being quiet whilst I dealt with first child.
Then bed for the second child.
Then pretty much what Snacks said. Lol.
With my older son I used to say to him mummy's going to have a shower now, so I'll come back and check on you and give you water/blanket/dinosaur/whatever in ten minutes after my shower. He seemed to go with this a lot and then sometimes he'd fall asleep and sometimes not, but at least he'd been calm for the previous 10 minutes or so.
I kinda followed this routine when DH was home too. Then they knew that they couldn't get me to give them treats or special treatment when I was on my own.
Bear in mind, this didn't always work. Nothing is ever fool-proof. But it was always what I tried to do.
I think that can be an issue here, we try to ditch the tv but sometimes the two of them just stimulate each other. I need to separate them, but don't really want to rely on screens. One of my friends (chippyrabbit!) bored them to sleep singing 100 green bottles. Maybe i should try that more often.:
Last night went well, DS had a nap in the afternoon so i got to spend some time just with DD. Bit of fun (painting the cubby), bit of exercise, and she fell asleep on the couch with a heated blanket while i was feeding DS. Worked well, cos when i put DS to bed, he woke and i had to lay with him for awhile.
Thanks for all the ideas, i will find something that works here. :crossfingers:
The first thing I do when I know I will be doing the nights alone is have a really big day, so lots of running around outside. I also try and make sure naps are early or skipped if the child is okay.
We eat dinner which is prepared earlier, shower together then all hop in the one bed for stories while DD2 feeds to sleep. Then I transfer DD2 to our room and come back to DD1. If DD2 is resisting sleep then I will put on a CD of music or a story for DD1 and settle DD2 elsewhere. I always do DD2 first as DD1 can understand waiting and being quiet.
I do it alone 3 nights a week and it can be rough :hug: