Can you 'suggest' a mother take her son to a dr?

I've spoken to my DH and he says NO! I get the feeling you'll all say no too. But, hear me out...

My DS goes to kinder with an almost five year old boy called x. X was also in DSs class last year. My DS is friends with x, even though their current teacher says their relationship is not very healthy one, as they seem to get each other into all sorts of bother. So they are friends, and whilst I don't discourage them, I don't actually encourage them and avoid meet ups outside of kinder.

X has a snotty nose. It pours out. All the time. It's honestly revolting. Once the weather turns, it starts, and it doesn't stop until summer comes again. Other Mums in kinder comment. Some of them are a bit nasty. And he is told 100 times a day to go and blow his nose. It's annoying because they are together for 15 hours a week, and he looks like he had a serious cold. It looks gross. And you just imagine all the germs that your own child is catching.

Now I'm not sure he does have a cold. Is it possible to have a cold for 6 months? If he was my kid I'd drag him off to the dr and get it looked into.

Can I say something to his mum? I know her. I wouldn't say we are friends, but I know her better than the other mums in the class.

(If it was me, and people were commenting behind my back about my child, I'd be gutted).

This is a tough one, how good is your relationship with her?

Can you mention in a gernal chat that you have noticed that there is a nasty cold going around, maybe a bit of prompting and go from there. Better yet can you talk to the teacher and get her to mention something to the mum about how X seems to be very congested and has she taken him to the DR?

Other than that Im not much help Im sorry.

I'd either take the above approach or just point blank ask if her son has a cold as you have noticed he seems a little unwell/off colour and go from there

I wouldn't bring it up unless she does first. I would also tell the other mothers to stop their *****ing.

I wouldn't bring it up. My DD2 had a constant snotty nose for most of her first year. She caught cold after cold after cold. She would clear up for a couple of days, maybe a week and then it would start again. I didn't take her to a Dr. What could they possibly do? There is no cure for the common cold that I am aware of.

You could suggest the teacher gets someone in to do a health lesson on blowing noses and washing hands before the start of winter bugs.

Just from the other side, the mum with the snotty child.. If you do ask, are you willing to accept it isn't a cold?? My kids get snot when it cools down and 9 times out of 10, there is nothing else to say they are sick, and yes i do take them to the dr, but if I took them every time another 'concerned parent' mentioned it, I would seriously need a 2nd mortgage.. Through summer, I face the same thing with hay fever, but people accept that a little more, but through winter, I just accept that people think I am a mum not concerned about my kids health..

I also have had children with a very constant snotty nose. They did go to the doctor but was related to their ears. While we waited on the waiting list for gromits it was just snot after snot. Not alot we could do except remind them to blow their nose. Once the gromits went in we did still have runny noses but much less frequently. Was a very stressful time for me as I felt alot of people were staring and talking about it behind my back. I'd tread carefully.

Since starting at childcare at 7 months old DS2 had a constant runny nose. There might have been a week or two here and there in between but it seemed to be a relentless snotfest. In fact, here at work, the childcare centre is fondly referred to as "the Snot Factory".

It seems that, at the ripe old age of 3, his immunity has kicked in (touch wood) we have not had a cold or illness all year. It is such a wonderful milestone to reach.

As a mother of a child who was the subject of some rather nasty comments by other mothers (due to completely unrelated matters) I would encourage you, and others, to keep your opinions to yourself. You may raise it with the kindy (teacher) of course as that is your right. But I don't think that it is your right to tell another parent to take their child to the doctors because they have a constant dripping nose.

She may actually already be seeking treatment for her child. It could be that he has chronic rhinitis (sp?) or other sinus issues. DS1 suffered greatly with sinus problems and it wasn't until we moved from the area that it cleared up. No amount of drugs and treatments seemed to do the trick - he was allergic to the area.

I do agree that it's gross. It's the one thing I can't handle. I guess that's why I think a suggestion to the kindy about teaching the kids, particularly with the coming winter, on how to look after their noses. I think the latest campaign is catch it, bin it, kill it..... Awesome campaign for littlies. It has a website sneezesafe dot com dot au which has resources for parents and teachers

Of course, if you are friendly with his mum then this is all moot and why the heck not raise it with a casual....oh, so sick of all this snot (referring to your own so as not to offend) sort of thing.

It's hard to keep your opinions to yourself when something directly affects your child. I should know....I'm usually a speak first think about it more thoroughly later person.

Yeah depends in how close you are. I might say something general about flu season coming up and say I notice your little fella seems to have a runny nose, I hope he's ok etc etc. have you taken him to drs yet. Etc.

Some kids have an allergy which can cause this by the way.

I'm with the others. I wouldn't bring it up. If she does happen to talk to you about then it's totally fine to suggest maybe she could take him to a doctor.

My vet, she probably has taken him to the doctor many times. Lots of things can make kids snotty like that, dairy, allergies etc. its not uncommon for kids to be that snotty, I actually know a few myself. I certainly don't envy the mums having to deal with that much snot.

I wouldn't suggest seeing a dr, but I don't see the harm in his snotty nose coming up in conversation. DS was the child with the awful sounding cough and drippy nose all season (asthma related more than anything) and I wouldn't have minded it coming up. Just commiserate with her about how hard colds can be to shake and how kids seem to have them one on top of the other sometimes. The conversation can flow then and just see where it goes. He might just have allergies or something. Ds's asthma and eczema both seemed to flare up in the cold season.

If its green coloured or anything the carers should be saying something themselves to the mother. But there's not much you can do for the clear drippy noses :/

Agree with Liz if its clear there is no infection it's just a winter time thing in some kids but if its green/yellow/orange then it's a sign of infection and the centre should be asking them to stay away.

FWIW my kids get a cough from now until spring that is Asthma related, it sounds awful but not contagious and doesn't bother them but I am forever explaining about it and it drives me nuts.

Thanks to everyone. I am actually a nice person LOL! I guess I would never actually suggest she take him to a doctor. That would be kind of rude. But in the same breathe, it's also inconsiderate for parents to knowingly send a sick child to kinder. Is he sick? I'm not sure.
I'll leave it for now.

We know you're a noice person hun :)

I also get peeved off when I see some of the really bad snotty kids at DS's kinder (the green kind). The thing that annoys me is, that the people there keep telling me that as long as the snot is clear it's OK, it's not contagious. But half of the kids there are walking around with green looking snot! So that's contagious right? I mentioned this a few times to the director there, and in the end she said that most parents have no choice but drop off their sick kids there. She sort of contradicted herself there, and then she said that if they show signs of being sick ie have the temperature, are lethargic, they call the parents. But what about the green snotty nose? lol.

Of corde you're a nice person! I understand where you are coming from. Maybe you could ask his mum to go for a coffee one day after drop off or something? Get to know her a little better etc. You might be able to suss out what's going on.
U do understand wanting to protect your own child from illness.

I don't doubt for a moment that you are a nice person, and am sure you wouldn't mean it to sound rude.. But you can never tell how the other mother will take it..

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FWIW my kids get a cough from now until spring that is Asthma related, it sounds awful but not contagious and doesn't bother them but I am forever explaining about it and it drives me nuts.

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OMG same!!!! I'm not offended at all if people ask me about DD's cough. Unless like one kindy mum last year who made a comment that I shouldn't send to my DD to kindy with bronchitis. It's asthma NOT bronchitis.

Anyway if your friends with her then I think its fine to casually bring it up in conversation? Of course your a nice person and your not going to demand that she keep him home or go to the doc but I don't see the harm in saying something like 'oh poor X with a snotty nose is he ok' or 'does he have a bit of a cold' kind of thing?

The green snot thing is a bit of a myth.
A couple of my kids always have snotty noses - due to asthma, hay fever and sinus infections. (I usually do too, but I'm grown up enough to use tissues properly).
Sometimes the snot is green, especially if it is a sinus infection. They are not contagious at all, it is just a sign of infection.

I'd have a chat with the teacher. They might be able to approach the family to offer ideas/ support and to work with the children on hand washing etc

Runny noses can simply be attributed to the cold weather. It has to do with the lining of the nasal cavity.
I can't remember it all exactly but we just learned about it in biology...
something do with the cellular and tissue struture has a hard tim working in cold weather - it's normal function is to hold nasal mucous where it belongs until you blow your nose, and explains why in cold weather we get the 'sniffles'.

FWIW i dont necessarily think this is what this kids problem is but working in childcare there are kids that look sick all the time and their parents take them to to the docs and its nothing - for reasons such as these. If you are really concerned i would be speaking to the kinder leader as well, and encourage the other parents that may be making remarks to do the same.

Id say that Id heard of the bad flu going around and that it was really nasty for some people, and the doc said everyone with a sniffle should get checked just in case

The green snot/contagious thing is definitely a myth. Viral infections rarely have green snot. It's usually clear. Bacterial infections (the ones doctors can help with) have colored snot.

I tend to have several months a year where I am a mucus production factory. It's not so bad over winter now that we are living in a different place but the last house we lived in the combination of allergies and the cold weather had my nose constantly on the go. DH has the sniffles every morning. So I don't tend to assume "sick" with mucus unless there are other signs.

I think if its just a gross nose, and not other signs the child is actually sick, I'd just mention it to the teacher as a hygiene thing and teach your own kids how to keep their nose clean. Not sure about yours, but mine is a wee bit shirt of tact, so where we've taught her about wiping her nose, if she sees another little person with a snotty face she tells them to get a tissue - maybe your boys will so the same!

I would say something. Only because I know of a little girl who had prolonged snottiness and it turned out to be a cancer in her nose. And you just never know.