I have a 3 day old and my milk hasn't come in yet. Bub is waking every couple of hours and the only thing that settles her is a feed. Problem is with feeds so frequent my nipples are red raw and so sore I don't think I can do it :(
Any advice?
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I have a 3 day old and my milk hasn't come in yet. Bub is waking every couple of hours and the only thing that settles her is a feed. Problem is with feeds so frequent my nipples are red raw and so sore I don't think I can do it :(
Any advice?
Have you got any lanisol (sp?) to rub on them? Getting sore and cracked nipples was the worst! You can also rub a bit of milk on them after a feed and let them air dry. I know the early days are sooooo tough but you can get through it. Another thing would be have you checked her attachment to make sure she's not making you sore?
And congratulations! :hug:
Hi Tasha,
Congrats!!!! I didn't realise you'd had your little one! Very exciting. The early days are really tough... The good news is it gets easier :hug:
Many mums find their nipples extra sensitive and sore in the first few days, it is really normal. If you think about it, that part of your body is being used for something it's never been used for before. Sort of like a guitarist learning to strum or an athlete training to run a marathon.
Let them go free. Go braless if you can. After each feed, express a little milk and pat it entry onto the nipple, then air dry.
Try to avoid nipple shields - some mums find they introduce more problems than they solve!
Can I ask - does the pain ease as the feed progresses? Like is it quite sore right at the start and then eases a bit?
Hang in there. They will settle, if attachment is correct.
Mine were the same Tasha. It will get better after a week or so, keep working on helping bub to attach properly. Some ppl are really against shields but if it gets unbearable then they could be a good option. I had to use them with my DD and I did so for 3 months and slowly got her off them and BF her until she was 14 months. My issue with DS was that I was used to BF a 14 month old and was lazy in my support so bub was dragging my nipple down. Can you speak to a lactation consultant? Not sure where you are but I know someone fantastic in Melbourne's Sth East if you want to PM me. And congrats on bub :)
Tasha yes I remember that feeling. Lansinoh was my saviour and whatever I could squeeze out of my breast.
It does get better. To be honest though I sent DH out to get me an electric breast pump and I used to pump 1 or 2 feeds a day those first few weeks as it hurt less than feeding. It gave my nipples a rest.
Looking back now I really believe a lot of the pain was from poor latching and me not wanting to unlatch her and upset her. I have a lactation consultant as well and she was great. I have to still hold my breast when feeding I can't just cuddle and feed like everyone else I know or else my nipples get sore.
Hang in there I bet you are doing a great job!
Gosh this has been so hard :( She slept well after the labour, but now it seems she just won't settle without a feed. I am exhausted on around 6 hours sleep since 2:30pm Wednesday morning. I barely have time to eat. DH tries to settle her, but it is short lived and I just have to end up feeding.
At the hospital they said I was doing a great job and she was latching properly. :(
It's easy for things to change as you can get lazy with holding in correct position therefore changing latch (don't worry I'm not saying you are lazy I did the same until my MW mentioned it).
First thing it DOES get easier so tell yourself this will pass, hang in there you can do it.
Make sure you are sitting comfortably and correctly every time. Make sure Bub is propped up so there is no drag on the nipple.
If you are still getting severe pain unattached Bub (by breaking suction with your finger) and try and reattach so more comfortable.
Now that you are home I really recommend getting a lactation consultant or similar to come and see you.
I honestly don't know how people (especially women having trouble) do it without support. I had soooo much pain and trouble with my first but had my private MW on call to help me any time, it was invaluable. I found BF extremely difficult and painful at first but good news is it does get easier.
And also day3 (now) is usually the worst as Bub is wanting milk to come in etc...hang in there your milk will come in soon and things will settle.
I remember I had to hand express the odd feed to give my nipples a rest. And seriously at this point you only need a teaspoons worth, so try that. All I did was express a bit on spoon and feed Bub. Don't do it to often as you need Bub to feed at breast to help bring your milk in....which sounds like hat Bub is trying to I with feeding so frequently.
Yay congrats on your baby!
All that frequent feeding, crying etc is doing so wonders to bring in your milk. When your baby cries, really listen and know your body is responding by making hormones to make milk.
As for nipples, you've been given great advice. Can I ask if your nipples were a bit flat before? I had one almost inverted nipple and the first few weeks were all about stretching out that nipple and it did hurt. Thankfully it passed and I fed for 2.5 years each child. For me the pain was excruciating for the first thirty seconds then eased off and came back if bub slipped. I used to reattach so many times. If pain is constant it might be poor attachment.
Do you have any cracks or bleeding. You can twist your breast so bub misses the crack (I became an expert at that!!).
The lack of sleep is a killer. Stay in bed, get hubby to take bub for a walk using a sling so you have some time to sleep today. It is very very normal but such an intense beginning I know.
Hop in bed, move the TV in if possible or camp out on the couch, grab some books (or mags) and a water bottle, have your partner take care of bringing you food, even spooning it to you over your little ones head or making a smoothie (banana, yogurt, pumpkin and sunflower seeds, maybe some oats for some more energy etc) with a straw so you can drink while bub does. Just focus on feeding baby and resting, let others handle the other stuff.
It will be exhausting right now and day 3 is notorious for that worst hump as your hormones go haywire while your milk starts coming in. But it will get better!
Give your nipples lots of air which can be hard in winter but try because it will help them heal. Sun helps too so if there is a window you can sit near that is a good spot. And rub in some of the milk drops left behind (or hand express a few drops).
Congratulations xx
also if your breast are startin to fill up, maybe you need to express a bit by hand to soften the breast around the areola- helps with a good, deep latch.
hang in there hun, maybe give ABA line a call too.
I second the lansinoh, take panadol and nurofen for the pain, feed her as much as she wants- its normal for them to want to be on the breast a lot- it is your job to be with her so forget anything else- make others do the food, housework etc.
Does your hospital have a breastfeeding day centre?
ps what did you call your baby??
Grats hun!!!!
The first few weeks is the hardest. I find that people tend to not mention that breastfeeding is so hard at the beginning.
My nipples were raw and bleeding and got infected due to
Mastitis but seriously after the initial few weeks when things settles down, it will be worth the while.
Have you tried lying down with bub while bf?
I was so sleep deprived with dd2 that was my only option after seeking advice on
BB and it was an absolute saviour.
Hope things settles for you soon oxoxo
Congratulations :)
And yes, it can be quite painful in those first few days - but it does get better, and then it gets wonderful, and second nature :)
I second the notion of expressing out a little extra and dabbing it onto your nipples and areola, and letting it air dry.
Lansinoh was a saviour for me, too, Plenty of it.
I tended to use bras and breastpads though - cloth ones - and that worked for me. My boobs were enormous, and they'd get cold if I went braless, but if that works for you, go for it.
Whatever works, hun.
Keep hanging in there. There's plenty of support here :)
And make sure your attachment is going well - get a lactation consultant or someone from the ABA to check out in person, to see if there's any pointers which might help. Good luck!
Congrats!
I also had this happen to me with both girls.I tried to later nipple cream on after every feed in that first week or two. After that time they stopped being so sore. It will get better!
Congratulations!!
Ok so I have been exactly there and it is horrible. I remember trying to feed dd and crying because I just couldn't cope with the pain.
Good news is if you are determined you can get past it and feed your baby :)
Get in contact with child and youth health services or the equivilent in your state. The are amazing. I was able to access a LC through them for free. She spent hours with me helping. Also all the ABA they have great ideas and help.
In the immediate take a look at this link Parenting and Child Health - Health Topics - Breastfeeding - sore breasts and nipples it's off the government site for cyhs.
I found the breast milk/colustrum in the nipples letting them dry helped. For me the key was that my nipples needed to harden up, get calloused in a sense so that they aren't sensitive. Think of your hands as a kid on the monkey bars. At first it hurt, but then as the callouses grew you could keep going. We all stuck at the monkey bars because we liked them and were determined, it's the same for breast feeing if you can get your mind to tell you this is important to achieve you'll be able to work through the pain :)
You can do it Hun!!!!!
Thanks everyone. I had the maternal health nurse come over today and bub has lost more than 10% her original body weight :( We tried some different techniques and it helped a lot. Bub hasn't been latching on properly and she was always hungry, that's why she wouldn't settle. But after I finally gave her a god feed today she slept for 2 hours!! Without waking!! So I have to feed every 3 hours and I'm expressing afterwards and giving her that too. After all the fussing I'm lucky to get an hour before I have to start again. It's really starting to get me down. My whole life has been completely turned upside down, it's so scary..
Hey hun - breathe.
It's really common for bubs to lose 10%, so just keep on keeping on and you'll probably see it turn around over the next week.
Keep an eye on her wet nappies and her temperament more than the scales. Scales can be a good indicator some times, but don't let them freak you out. Every baby is different.
Very glad to hear that you've got some good advice about latching - that's key.
And the first few weeks are hard on you too, as a first time mum - be kind to yourself, and give yourself some big pats on the back. Even if it doesn't feel like it right now, you're doing a stellar job. Your world *is* upside down, and ruled by a tiny army of one - made by you! Things have changed. Gone are the days that you can just lie down, or pop out to the shops - this is a big adjustment. But the best reason for adjustments EVER. :D
Once latching is down pats, feeds will follow - which will promote better sleeps, and sleeping well is circular: meaning babies who sleep well will keep sleeping well, generally speaking. And babies who feed well and sleep well grow and develop well.
Take care of those boobies. They're bosom-y gold.
:hug: Hun
Honestly it does get better. I know people said it to me and I was like WHEN?!? But after a little bit it did.
Your main responsibility for this part is just feeding your baby and getting rest. Sleep when they do, make feeding time relax time. After a few weeks they spread out their feeds a bit and you can start to think again. Don't stress about things until you can think!!
Enjoy these newborn snuggles, go with the flow. None of us know what to do the first time but the best thing is your baby doesn't know any better so they won't judge ;).
Also you are at the point when your milk comes in and you can get the blues, something to do with the hormones. This too will pass. Cry your heart out :) I know I did!
Just remember you are never failing!
Good point !:
Beware of the day 3 (which can be day 2-6) blues. They can be crushing - but it's normal, hormonal, and it passes. It's just your emotions going a bit mental. Ignore them. Feed them chocolate.
Come vent on BB. We get it. :)
:grouphug:
I just had a cry to DH saying how I wish things could go back to the way they were. How awful to even be thinking that. :crying: He has to go back to work on Monday and I will be on my own. Not that he can do much anyway because he can't feed her. He can settle her afterwards , but that's about it. Mum can come and help, but I don't want to hassle her every day just to do washing and dishes etc.
Please tell me you felt the same, about wishing things were just back to the way they were..
Totally normal. Your whole life has just changed completely. It will get better. Keep chatting on here.
Totally normal! You are going through one of the biggest changes you will ever go through - physically, hormonally and mentally!
You will come through this, look back and realise that it was totally ok to feel the way you are.
Don't fight the tears, let them out, I'm sure each and everyone of us has been there.
BTW, congratulations on the arrival of your little girl, what did you name her?!
Really normal feelings, Tasha.
Losing more than 10% weight is also common. If you were given any fluids during labour, baby often gets these too and so their 'birth weight' is often greater than what it would be without the extra fluids. This fluid is then wee-ed out in the next few days and so when they are weighed at day 3 or 5 or 7, it can look like they have lost more than they actually did.
Washing and dishes can wait. Spend at least a couple of weeks just hanging in bed with your baby. It is really important and can help everything else in the long run, if you are given time to rest, recover and just chill with your bub.
If baby is feeding ok (not too small or tired to feed), then i would ask your care provider about doing top ups at the breast, rather than expressing and then feeding ebm to bub. it might be less labour intensive and time consuming to feed bub, and then top at the breast half an hour later.
take care
Tasha, I felt the same. We TTC DD1 for 2 years and I still cried for the first few nights that I'd ruined our lives and I'd never have a relationship with DH again. Hang in there :)
You are doing an awesome job. Those first few weeks are overwhelming but you will get more confident and once you start to trust yourself and what you think, not just want others tell you I think it starts to be less overwhelming.
Hugs xx
:hug: Tasha. So so normal. I wish someone had told me!! Everything changes the first time and it's a huge shock you just can't anticipate. I remember crying that things would never be the same and thinking we'd made a huge mistake and weren't ready for this. But no one is ready for this! It is hard! Your whole life has changed and it's hard to see it's for the better right now when it feels so hard. Luckily you get more confident relatively quickly and things that seemed difficult not long ago you do without even thinking. It's a big adjustment but it is totally worth it. You are doing great!! xx
I was thinking about only expressing breast milk. My milk still hasn't even come in yet and she was born on Wednesday. It's the feeding from the breast that is getting me down, I still don't think I'm doing in completely right. Plus DH wants to help, but can't because he can't feed. Health nurse is coming again tomorrow so I will ask her.
I've even considered formula......
ETA: I have named her Marley :)
What a beautiful name :)
Breastfeeding is hard. Both times I've found the first few weeks tough. Once you get going though it gets much easier. I would even say its easier than formula as you don't have to make it up, clean bottles, sterilise.....it's much cheaper too! You can do this. Try and get some sleep when you can. Everything always seems worse when you're tired.
You'll get there mate. It's quite normal for your milk to take this long with your first. With my first it took 99 hours for my milk to come in.
Do look up baby led attachment, and see about letting your little girl lead the way with feeding, as it could help.
Do keep looking after those nipples, it's a big adjustment.
Do keep feed feed feeding. It won't be like this forever, I promise. The first few weeks are intense, but your baby will get calmer, and it will all get easier. Every 3 hours is a lot less than either of mine fed in those first three weeks. I felt like I was living on the couch feeding; and that's what tiny babies do to you!
And don't feel guilty about those crazy Day 3 feelings. I sobbed my heart out after DD2 arrived, those exact feelings you described. Ruined my life, ruined my DD1's life, ruined everything. Only now, I realise how much she's actually brought to us, and I laugh about it all.
Hang in there!
just called the hospital and they said if i cant feed then get some formula to get me through the night. So i just got some. They said to express what I could and substitute the rest with formula. I just need to give my nipples a chance to recover and I will try again. And Dh can do the next feed so I can actually sleep..
Anyone else done this?
My gosh, I remember the day three blues with DD - morning of day five for me, I was in bed, DH had DD, and my mum rang. DH answered and I heard him say I was asleep but he'd check if I was awake, then heard him say we'd had an ok night :wall: and he gave the phone to me, mum said "How are you my baby?" And I just burst into tears.
DH was a bit shocked. Mum said "I'll be there in 20 minutes, give the phone back to DH", she said something to him and then he came and gave me a big cuddle. I couldn't even vocalise what was wrong, basically I couldn't even work out what was wrong! But the hormones knock you around really badly. You get all these good hormones to bring the labour on, to deliver baby, to literally push through the pain, then you get another massive flood to ensure you bond with your baby and then around day 3 they all bugger off and leave you.
And there you are, no sleep, sore beyond belief from giving birth, on what's possibly the biggest come down you've ever experienced, with a newborn demanding demanding demanding. It sucks.
But, you can get them back. Milk production works on hormones at this point... So the more time you spend cuddling your gorgeous Marley (love the name btw), holding her, smelling her, sleeping next to her, if you can, will help bring back those lovely hormones and bring in that milk.
Keep feeding. Ask the health centre nurse if your attachment is correct. Or go to an ABA meeting and get one of the counsellors to check. It can be really hard for us to try and help you with attachment on here, it is best if someone actually sees it happening.
Don't feel bad about the formula... It is ok to give your DH a turn at doing a night feed. But try to remember that to get your milk to come in, you need DD to feed at the breast. As HotI mentioned, maybe try expressed breast milk instead. But again - feeding at the breast is best for you at this point, as you work to establish breastfeeding. Your supply is driven mostly by hormones at this point but Marley is trying to get your milk to come in... She does this by feeding, suckling, crying. That's all she knows how to do.
Tasha, one thing people sometimes don't remember is that breastfeeding is a learned skill. It takes times, and practice. For you and Marley. Lots of mums struggle initially. Possibly we don't mention it because we forget about it ;) It does get better. And it does get easier.
:hug:
Thanks OP. She was attaching correctly yesterday when the health nurse was here helping me, but when I'm on my own it looks the same, but somethings telling me it's not. And the fact my milk is still not here. i just expressed 20 mls so I will substitute the feeds until tomorrow when the health nurse comes back.
Far out, so bloody hard :(
As soon as Marley learns how to attach well, it will be more comfortable than expressing - and a lot less work than formula.
You and her just need time to learn to do it well, and comfortably.
Be kind to yourself, give yourself time, and don't give up.
Also, be careful with your boobies - even though it might not seem that she's getting much milk out, you'd be surprised how efficient babies are - expressing won't get as much out, so you might be quite uncomfortable if you stop feeding for a little while, and just express. Keep an eye out :)
With both my babies, I expressed after feeds (by hand at the start, with a pump later on) so DH could do one of the early morning feeds every night, so I could get some sleep, and so he could bond too :) That worked really well for my family, and skipping one feed didn't seem to hurt my supply. The sleep probably helped a lot! Goodness knows I needed it :)
Stay in there, hun. You're doing well :)
Get the lactation consultant or someone from ABA to walk you through attachment a few more times - as soon as you've got that down pat, you'll be feeling heaps more comfortable and confident, and Marley will be feeding like a trooper :)
:hug:
Yanno, her tummy is only as big as her fist at the moment, about ping pong ball size. Tiny! She doesn't need a lot of milk, but she needs it frequently as it is so quick to digest. 20mls of colostrum is good! Don't despair - your milk isn't far off!
:
20 ml is quite a bit, in the first few days - don't let that stress you our too much either, hun :)
You can either give her the expressed milk and then give her boob (so she's not so frantic when at the breast) or you can let her latch on when she's starting, so she's sucking good and hard, to stimulate your supply.
I tended to let them have a little (wet the appetite, wake them up, and take the worst off it) and then put them on, and if they needed a little more, give them the rest afterwards, in those early days.
Otherwise, I just kept the expressed milk for the overnight DH feed, and for freezing.
Trust your body. You're right, and it is bloody hard - but after everything incredible your body has been able to do, conceiving, growing and birthing Marley, this is just another amazing thing that you're going to succeed in. :)
Hey Tasha sorry you are feeling so down :( I hit it bad day 3 as well. It sucks big time. As you know we had issues with my milk coming in too- I was just so so lucky we had a LC who was really good. She told us that alot of LC condemn the nipple shield claiming its a downward spiral- but she feels comp feeding is worse- even though breast stimulation is reduced by them its better than nothing and lets your nipples repair. Shes a id to use it for half of the feeds- more if you really need too. We are still using one for 1/3- 1/2 of his feeds- my supply is fine!!
PS if you can express 20mLs that milk will be here soon ! that is awesome! You will probably have your milk come in overnight and then you will have to deal with the boobs so rock hard they feel like they are going to explode lmao :lol: it does get better hun, hang in there. I didnt enjoy the firsr week but it is getting easier and better :)
Hi, it’s really hard to separate the baby from the breastfeeding (it all seems to be about breastfeeding, possibly because people perceive you have a choice about feeding) But babies do turn your life inside out - regardlesss of how you feed them! They need to feed (as your nurse says) every 3 hours pretty much. Think of it from your baby’s point of view - he or she didn’t just *start* on the day they were born. They had 9 mnths of womb service. Always fed, always held, always close to you. Then they are somewhat forcibly ejected from their world - and the only thing that is constant is their mother’s body. No baby will want to sleep in a cot alone - mainly they will want to be held by mum or dad - not forever, but while they make that adjustment from life on the inside to life on the outside. It sounds like you are now getting the help you need and things are on the up and up. As others had said, losing 10% of birthweight is boringly normal and it sounds like you now have a plan in place.
Hey Tasha, plenty of great advice so I won't rehash anything but I am in Narre Sth if you need help or just a shoulder to cry on. The first month was the hardest for me in terms of getting bf established and I honestly didn't think I'd manage and I am still bf my 8 mo to this day. I know the days seem long and the nights lonely but the feeding time will shorten and your nipples will get used to it. I used shields for the first month and they were a god send, dont think I would have gotten through without them.
Thanks everyone for your advice and support. My milk seems to have come in today so hopefully it will help things along a bit more. Dh took over 2 feed and I got 4 hours sleep this morning. The most i've had in 5 days!