I wish it was okay to knock on your neighbour's door...

... when you hear their little one screaming "mummy open the door". It's a nightly thing. There are quite a few defence homes in the area, so maybe she's not settling because dad is away. Or, maybe it's just the way bedtime is for them.

I wish it was simple and you could go knock on their door and introduce yourself. Get to know them over a morning cuppa and let the kids play. Let them know that they have someone they can call if it all gets too much or they just need someone to talk to.

Well, if it's you and you happen to be a fellow "bellybelly-er" I'm one house behind and up to your right if you go out your back door. My DH is away, so I know it can suck when your little ones take it as a cue to play up just because daddy isn't there.

*Hugs*

Can you work out a way to meet them? she may really appreciate any extra socialization

Who said you can't knock on the door?

Is it not OK to knock on a neighbour's door, say you thought you heard a small one there and you have a small one too, fancy a cuppa some time and let the children play?

FWIW, Liebling used to scream that I should open the door. It because he wouldn't get out of bed without it, and he decided he needed the loo for the third time that evening (ie to play up). He has never gone to sleep happily, even now. No matter which one of us puts him to bed. And he will scream blue murder at bedtime some nights still. And I would class myself as a fairly responsive and loving carer.

I work fulltime, so I thought we might go for a walk on Saturday and pass by their place. Fingers' crossed they are out the front. DS2 is completely sociable and will strike up a conversation with anyone under the age of double figures.

TFB - hope you didn't think I was insinuating that she might not be a totally loving parent. I wasn't thinking that at all. I know that with some little ones it's just the way it is and there's not much you can do. I like your idea of suggesting a cuppa too. And, FWIW, I can say (from reading your posts) that you are a totally loving parent who offers the most welcome and, what should be, obvious advice.

I will be doing some covert "hello-ing" on the weekend - see if there are some fellow parents of young children who might like to mingle.

Oh, no, Cass, I wasn't thinking that you didn't think that she loved her child. Most parents do their best to love their children. Even when they're up all night! Just saying that it may not be a CIO type of method, which would be an obvious first thought in hearing that.

I hear you on that...we've been here over 9 months and have never seen any of our neighbours except to do the 'polite' wave from our car as we go by. Have never seen anyone wave back. A couple of people have even turned away when they see us drive past and there's not one I'd recognise if I saw them on the street.

I'd love someone to knock on our door....I'd love to have the courage to knock on theirs! Go for it, you might make a lovely friend.

Cass what an absolutely beautiful lady you are, I have really struggled to live where I am(in the country too,so that doesn't help) and there just aren't enough friendly people around who just want to have a cuppa and a chat. Well done to you

Man, when I grew up(Defence family) it was the norm for neighbors to rock up with morning tea when they saw a moving truck! I still do it. I say go for it. It can be pretty hard meeting people when you're Defence.

Please make contact with this family. Who knows where it could lead you both :)

Today has been a rather below average day here, and I am guilty of yelling at my girls tonight, silly things like running in the kitchen whilst Im making dinner (things on the stove, sharp knives) and a few other things that after using every other parenting tool, I yelled. (Im also at my wits end at the moment)
Anyhow, after going off at them, I really felt alone. My neighbours think they have the right to judge me and talk badly about me behind my back about my parenting skills, my pet ownership skills, yet to my face they tell me how they all helped each other raise their children in this very street. It hurts to no end to think of the double standards that they have, that it was ok to help out when they were in my position, but they are no longer willing to help out the next generation going through the same thing.
So please go and meet your neighbours and try to start friendships, its terribly lonely within those four walls at times, even more so when there is no help at hand.

sorry to hijack your thread

Cass hope you have fun meeting your neighbours. Not sure which area ofthe Capital you ae in but if you ever want to meet up let me know, I have 3 under double figures who love parks.

do it!! it is tine to bring back the face to face introductions!!
when my mum was in hossy giving birth to my brother I was 23months and my nan was looking after me. mum and dad had lived in the house for 2 years, and didn't know a single neighbor. in the two days my nan was home alone with me she had met every single person (who was home during the day) on the street. simply went to their doors, introduced herself and found me many little friends to play with.
my neighbor came over and introduced herself to us when we moved in. she is elderly tho, and unfortunately our other neighbors are the same or not the type you want to be very friendly with....but I have still met them

We always introduce ourselves to new people moving into our court.
Lots of young, friendly families in this area.
During summer, about 6 out of 10 families sit on one fence and watch the kids play- its a fantastic village environment.
Do it, you won't regret it!

My DH is a very friendly person so he makes it a mission every posting to meet our immediate neighbours. He is quite friendly with the guys on either side (one military one civilian) but I dont really see their spouses as they are all childless working couples. I chuck a wave if I see any neighbours out in the street but most of the time they ignore it. I can remember back when I was little our street having street parties, was super fun!

Everytime people move out in our street I pray to the relocation gods to please let it be a friendly family with small children - no such luck so far :(

It took us three years to talk to our next door neighbours (other than the mandatory hello!). Our biggest regret? That we didn't start soon enough. We've moved away now, but seriously consider them our closest friends.

I had to knock on my neighbours door last week as we accidentally painted their house when I gave my two watered down paint in spray bottles without really thinking it through! Oops.

I wish I had a bettrr relationship with our neighbours (only have some on one side) but they are a couple who both work, no kids so we just aren't around at the same time or doing the same things. We exchange general pleasantries though.

If they had young kids, I'd be right over introducing myself though as what do you have to lose? I'd love to have neighbourhood kids popping around my house!

Do it! It doesn't have to be at all related to what you hear at night, just say hey we've seen you around, noticed we have kids a similar age and wondered if you'd like to catch up for coffee while the kids play?

No one bothered to introduce themselves when we moved here, except for the older couple next door when I saw them at the post office. We met the couple across the street when we went to their garage sale. The other side we met when their rain water tanks accidentally got dropped off in our back yard.

So we make an effort when new people move in. Over the road and one over a young couple moved in, we went over with a plate of muffins and said hi :) They've helped us with our dogs and we went to their engagement party a couple of weeks ago. DD likes their place lol. Last week the older couple moved out, and a young couple moved in, with a DD three months older than ours and an 11 week old boy. Same thing, we took a plate of muffins and offered to help with any extra moving stuff they have while the two kids ran off to play in the bedroom! We've already got babysitting, play date and coffee offers :)

I think a good relationship with neighbours is priceless, you never know when you might need them or how wonderful they may be!

Had to laugh last night after posting....our fence blew over in the windy weather last night, so we've ended up meeting our neighbours on one side! They're a lovely older couple with at least one grandson DS's age who was there today.

We have lovely neighbours who are all the same, even after us being away for four years. Lady across the road is like our street watch dog, lady next door is a good friend and both our kiddies are close in age. We all met just by being polite and saying hello. Our street has a Christmas party even (well it did 4 years ago.... I'll have to wait till Xmas if they still do)

At another house I lived in I made friends with a girl two doors up by complimenting her on her new garage door! She came over to mine with a 'welcome' plant in a pot and we've been great friends ever since.

Having fences fall over can help with neighbourly relationships too, like Jleigh said!

I think it's nice to know your neighbours. There's no harm in trying to get to know them. You'll soon know whether they want to be involved or not.

Isn't there a day g'day to your neighbours day?

I would love to have good relationships with neighbors (my issues with one set are well documented) - I do try - DH has helped a bit by taking their clothes by accident (after so long being only family with children he assumed child sized clothes were ours - they weren't ) but returning then did provide nice way of saying hello - was a bit strained as they don't speak much English but over time I am hopeful can have some sort of friendship.

If you feel awkward about just knocking and saying hello is there a way to 'manufacture' a need to go round and say hi.

Bake a cake, take it over and say "I thought you might like this" and hopefully they will ask you in for a cup of tea to have with it. Our neighbours are good friends and we met when I took some wine over to their house and we ended up sitting out the front watching the stars and the train drinking a couple of bottles.

Being defence too, I'd really appreciate having another army wife knock on the door and make friends :D We are moving at the end of this year and I'm hoping some nice military wife comes and welcomes me and my boys to the neighbourhood :D

I don't know any of my neighbours (well I heard the sexual adventures of the ones who lived over the road but I've never been properly introduced to them - and now they have moved on) but I don't think I want to - they've heard me yell at my kids and I don't want them to think I'm this crazy lady who can't control or handle her kids.

The other neighbour across the road has a boy the same age as DS and they used to go to the same school before I switched DS and he was begging us on the holidays to go over and introduce ourselves so he could have a friend to play with - but both DH and I are too embarrassed to do that because we know they have heard us yelling........

when my second daughter was a baby, i was having a bad day, went outside and had a mini meltdown and kicked the fence. that afternoon a neighbour left some flowers and cake on my door step. it was so wonderful to receive that support. (typing while feeding so no caps today!!)

I have always welcomed new neighbours with a hello, food and invite for coffee....was a bit surprised that no one did that for us here.

Talking of things your neighbours have heard.....DS can't get his 's' blends (he says 'd' for 'st') so spent every summer afternoon eating a homemade iceblock outside and yelling, 'I found my ...ick! Where's your...ick, Mummy? I see your ...ick, Mummy! Show me your ...ick!' Maybe that's why no one ever came around...?!

Jleigh, you have me in tears... I'm trying to keep my laughter muffled and it's not working. Can just imagine what your poor neighbours thought! oh dear, there I go again...time to grab the tissues!

I am overwhelmed with so many positive responses. We have a couple of young families in the street so I will be engineering some introductions this weekend although it's supposed to be cruddy weather.

Talking of things your neighbours have heard.....DS can't get his 's' blends (he says 'd' for 'st') so spent every summer afternoon eating a homemade iceblock outside and yelling, 'I found my ...ick! Where's your...ick, Mummy? I see your ...ick, Mummy! Show me your ...ick!' Maybe that's why no one ever came around...?![/QUOTE]

Pmsl! I'm trying to resettle DD back to sleep by bf her. Luckily my chuckles didn't wake her!